The A(n)nals of Online Dating blog manages to unearth some astoundingly awful and creepy online dating profiles. Looking around on the site’s archives the other day, I came across one profile that reminded me of so many discussions here I felt I needed to share it with you. Here’s some unnamed OKCupid dude explaining just what he looks for in a woman.
He starts off almost reasonably:
Message me if you are intelligent and can hold chopsticks and are not racist.
Ok, that’s a little confrontational, and the bit about chopsticks is odd, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting your date to be smart and not a bigot.
It’s at this point he careens off the road:
Also message me if you can understand that a WOMAN’S vagina is like a MAN’S money.
Go on.
Meaning if we are NOT dating and if I do not KNOW who you are, you will have to be able to provide for yourself.
Are there really a lot of women on dating sites that expect men they don’t know to pay their rent or electric bills?
I am not going to give a little unless you can give a little.
Ah, the transactional model of dating. What’s the over/under on this guy also being a raving Ron Paul fan?
Most women dont want to feel like a whore by giving it up on the first night and dont want to be used just for sex. They also dont want to give it up and then be afraid the man will leave. Thats the SAME way I FEEL about spending my hard earned money on you.
Because women don’t want to feel like whores, you’re going to treat them exactly like whores, by equating vaginas and money?
A lot of women in this town dont follow through with anything they say and a lot of them have A LOT of insecurities along with expecting a guy to buy them food and drinks and then completely walk over them.
By “walk[ing] over them” I presume he means that the women are not having sex with every guy who buys them a dinner while explaining at length about how vaginas and money are the same thing and why Ron Paul is the only hope for our nation.
I dont play that and I’ve dated a few women who are gorgeous who happen to understand what I am talking about.
So why the OkCupid profile? I guess these gorgeous women must not be returning his calls any more.
So if you u understand that my money and time is just as valuable as your body, then we’ll be in agreement to not share anything until there is an understanding.
You’ll need to sign the “sex for dinner” contract here and here, and initial here. And you’re ready to go!
Oh, and if you fellas here (of the heterosexual persuasion) are feeling a little left out, remember, there are some terrible, terrible women out there in online dating land for you as well.
If you like prescription drugs, weird bird feet, and fistfights with jealous Juggalo ex-boyfriends, send this little lady a note.
EDITED TO ADD: Holly Pervocracy has a great post on the wrongness of the vaginas = money equation here.
Quackers, same here, almost every guy I have met off of OKC has been decent enough and we usually do “I pay for this part, you pay for this part.”
Although I am still mad that I have not put together the Lego set I got for one date. I guess this means I date odd fellows.
That sounds like welfare! A truck for Greta!
This is why I always pay my own way on a first and sometimes second date. Then after that I like to alternate paying. One date I pay, the next date he does. Usually at that point, we’re seeing each other on a regular basis.
What’s really annoying is the same guys who bitch about paying for the date are the same ones who get outraged when a woman pays her own way or insists that she meet them at the restaurant instead of being picked up at her house, because that just means she’s some ball-breaking feminist who assumes he’ll try to rape her.
That sounds like chedda! Canucks eat chedda!!
@PFKAE
I dunno, Lego as a gift is pretty sweet 😛
“AntZ, you’re not really known for your drive-bys. Usually when you’re here, you’re here for a knock-’em-down drag-’em-out commenting frenzy.”
I apologize for the p-n-d. I confess, I have another girl (TGMP). She had me in the dog house (banned) for six months, which is why I had so much time for you.
Recently, TGMP forgave my infidelity (un-banned). She is SO much more fun than you are! Sometimes (rarely) TGMP actually listens (a convert!) Now that I am back with TGMP, I just don’t have as much time for you ..
Let’s go easy on the poor fella. He’s a secret feminist! Have a look at the capitalised words:
WOMAN’S MAN’S NOT KNOW SAME FEEL A LOT.
Men and women sometimes don’t realise the people of the other genders are thinking the same thoughts and holding the same insecurities. They’ve been socialised to think of a “battle of the sexes”, and they’re missing out on basic human empathy. It’s a touching sentiment.
It’s a pity so many people will miss this hero’s subtle satire.
@Katz
It can be scary, but they pay in sundaes
Requoting this like a WTFucka
Thats no good for childcare! Fetch her a Jetta!
I read that as fetal! …ew, I guess.
He’s got to realize he’s speaking a language completely idiosyncratic to him, doesn’t he?
Canucks like French! So Swiss is betta!!
Addendum to my comment re:capitalisation above:
A “WOMAN’S MAN” is, of course, a play on “LADY’S MAN” – a man focused on romantic or sexual conquest. A PUA or an embittered Nice Guy. The very same people who take small details of tradition with regards to dating and people not doing exactly what they want as misandry or breaking some sort of sex contract. The same people being lampooned here.
It’s another layer of poetry.
@Katz
TGMP would be The Good Men Project. Zie’s using a metaphor of sites he trolls on being girlfriends.
I think this language reminds me of another troll we used to get around here.
@lowquacks
According to NWO, the capitalisation means that we are now all legally bound to understand that we are all more similar than we are different
Do you think he realizes that I don’t actually care how much he hangs out here, I just want him to take a stand on the last post? Like, the time he spent making that last comment about… something, he could have used to say something about the last OP.
@Shadow
I was going to say a different set of rules applied here, but I just realised this blog wasn’t an Admiralty Court anymore. WTF David? How can you enforce arbitrary martial law around here now?
I think it’s The Good Men’s Project, which has gone to such utter “yeah, we’re basically just another MRA site now” shit that it’s no surprise they welcomed Antz back with opened arms.
“Sometimes (rarely) TGMP actually listens ”
…Oh, I think TGMP’s been listening to MRA’s for a while now… Listening to feminists was 2 hrd.
Note to “tacitturn”: That was too subtle. You need to be more obvious, otherwise people get confused.
Thank you, lowquacks. Very informative, although why anyone would want to speak AntZ is still an open question. (I noticed that the flag is gone, too, btw. But there is still the thread in Forum Games.)
Quackers, it was not a gift, it was a “let us do this project together” thing.
Bigots.
Wait, isn’t Antz married? So acronym lady is his wife, who he cheated on, who’s now forgiven him? Or she’s the other women, who he also cheated on, and now she’s forgiven him, but no word on how the wife who will someday be replaced by a bot feels about all this?
Please speak English, Antz, or some other recognizable language. French or Spanish would work too, just for starters.
I want to know what he’s converted The Good Men Project into? Are they helping with the creation of first rate VR Sex Simulators (better then the Fleshlight iPad app)?
Are the trying to work out the logistics of, “The Great Migration”?
Have they decided which half of the Human Race gets the Western Side of the world (with the new Prime Meridian running along the Mississippi)?
Great Minds want to know.
I still want to know why he only wants to divide the US. Are things for men hunkey-dory in every other country? If he intends the Mississippi to divide the whole world, isn’t he a bit concerned that he’s probably going to end up on the same side of the line as Sweden?
Or, even better! Has he now abandoned all his MRA plans because his wife is talking to him again, and was the whole MRA thing a tantrum brought on by the fact that his wife had the gall to be angry with him for cheating on her? A robot wouldn’t care!