The A(n)nals of Online Dating blog manages to unearth some astoundingly awful and creepy online dating profiles. Looking around on the site’s archives the other day, I came across one profile that reminded me of so many discussions here I felt I needed to share it with you. Here’s some unnamed OKCupid dude explaining just what he looks for in a woman.
He starts off almost reasonably:
Message me if you are intelligent and can hold chopsticks and are not racist.
Ok, that’s a little confrontational, and the bit about chopsticks is odd, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting your date to be smart and not a bigot.
It’s at this point he careens off the road:
Also message me if you can understand that a WOMAN’S vagina is like a MAN’S money.
Go on.
Meaning if we are NOT dating and if I do not KNOW who you are, you will have to be able to provide for yourself.
Are there really a lot of women on dating sites that expect men they don’t know to pay their rent or electric bills?
I am not going to give a little unless you can give a little.
Ah, the transactional model of dating. What’s the over/under on this guy also being a raving Ron Paul fan?
Most women dont want to feel like a whore by giving it up on the first night and dont want to be used just for sex. They also dont want to give it up and then be afraid the man will leave. Thats the SAME way I FEEL about spending my hard earned money on you.
Because women don’t want to feel like whores, you’re going to treat them exactly like whores, by equating vaginas and money?
A lot of women in this town dont follow through with anything they say and a lot of them have A LOT of insecurities along with expecting a guy to buy them food and drinks and then completely walk over them.
By “walk[ing] over them” I presume he means that the women are not having sex with every guy who buys them a dinner while explaining at length about how vaginas and money are the same thing and why Ron Paul is the only hope for our nation.
I dont play that and I’ve dated a few women who are gorgeous who happen to understand what I am talking about.
So why the OkCupid profile? I guess these gorgeous women must not be returning his calls any more.
So if you u understand that my money and time is just as valuable as your body, then we’ll be in agreement to not share anything until there is an understanding.
You’ll need to sign the “sex for dinner” contract here and here, and initial here. And you’re ready to go!
Oh, and if you fellas here (of the heterosexual persuasion) are feeling a little left out, remember, there are some terrible, terrible women out there in online dating land for you as well.
If you like prescription drugs, weird bird feet, and fistfights with jealous Juggalo ex-boyfriends, send this little lady a note.
EDITED TO ADD: Holly Pervocracy has a great post on the wrongness of the vaginas = money equation here.
By a painful and lengthy process of deduction, I conclude that OKCupid’s entire post amounts to this:
“I don’t want to start paying for dates until I am in a committed monogamous relationship.”
Why did OKCupid feel the need to write a lengthy, embarrassed, apologetic, and seriously confused justification for his right to NOT pay for a date, if he does not want to?
Now THAT is a question worth asking. Of course, that question would take you far too near the flames of male utility, which in turn might lead to the conflagration of MRM enlightenment.
From AntZ, I have learned:
– OKCupid is a person
(psst, the person using the dating site OKCupid wrote this in an effort to let candidate dates know that he will not pay for a date until they put out)
*snrk*
My vaj is free! I’m such a slut! XD
AntZ, you’re not really known for your drive-bys. Usually when you’re here, you’re here for a knock-’em-down drag-’em-out commenting frenzy. And yet, yesterday you dropped by in the your penis your choice thread to drop off a totally unrelated Jezebel article. Then you left before you could answer the several people who asked you how you felt about the OP. Since you’re here now, you can feel free to head on back and answer the question!
– OKCupid is a person
Thank god that’s not the case. Everything poor OKCupid Incarnate would have witnessed and endured. *shudders*
Oh AntZ, your willful stupidity is so cute. And by cute, I mean horrifying.
Zarat, you’re an idiot.
Also, what kirbywarp said.
Are you ever going to address the recent posts where your fellow soldiers assert that men do not want children and should not be responsible for their children in any way?
Holly, great post; I added a link to it in the OP.
I used to be on OkCupid and surprisingly had a pretty decent experience. I never got any creepy messages or the like. Many of the guys who messaged me talked to me as they saw me only as a friend though, which is cool too but I was mainly there for dating purposes rather than friendship so that left me feeling confused.
The dates I went on I mainly went dutch. Only one guy insisted on paying for me and even brought me a gift which made it rather awkward. The most I could insist on was getting him coffee later on. I’ve heard some men enjoy paying for the woman’s dinner, but I personally prefer going dutch. Especially so since my introduction to the manosphere, hearing all the men who expect women to fuck them just because they paid for dinner. Yeah no thank you. I prefer going on a date to spend time getting to know a guy and pay my own way so I don’t feel like I’m being resented for “owing” him sex later on.
The manosphere has left me rather paranoid regarding dating. So yeah…congratulations manosphere. I know you think your asshole behavior leaves women feeling hot and bothered, but in reality you make us want to not even bother with dating for fear that we might run into one of you bitter douchebags.
@Quackers: I hear ya. When someone I’ve just met gives me money or buys me things, it makes me uncomfortable. It’s like they’re grooming me or something…
“The conflagration of MRM enlightenment.”
Oh, AntZ, I’m sure you didn’t mean it the way it sounds.
Being with Antz is like this except not as amusing.
Bigot.
Ohhhhh… the MRM enlightenment is supposed to be the conflagration, not the victim of the conflagration. I thought that word was strange. Also, the last words I would use to describe the post are embarrassed and apologetic.
@Joanna
The guy that did it, it was thoughtful because it was a gift based on our conversations. But I felt really awkward and guilty because I know I wasn’t into him after that date. So yeah, it’s as if the ones who give you gifts right away are trying to buy your affections. I know most men probably don’t view it that way…then again, the OP :/ Dating is complicated. This is why I don’t do it.
What an ass. Maybe more women would be willing to have sex if they weren’t vilified later on for it. TMI, but I could really go for some sex but the thought of the guy going on some message board and talking about what a slut I am doesn’t exactly make me very eager anymore. I wish there was some kind of way to figure out for sure if a guy has a madonna/whore complex. Why do people always have to over-complicate things?
Also before some PUA tries to twist my example as proof that being nice is a turnoff to women and that’s why I wasn’t into him…don’t even bother. I was not attracted to him physically. That was the main reason. Call me shallow or whatever, you’re hypocrites because you wouldn’t dare date or fuck a woman you aren’t attracted to.
You’d be surprised how visual some women are.
Damn, dude. Just stay home and cut a hole in a dollar bill.
PROBLEM SOLVED.
“Damn, dude. Just stay home and cut a hole in a dollar bill.
PROBLEM SOLVED.”
Requoting this like a motherfucka.
““Damn, dude. Just stay home and cut a hole in a dollar bill.
PROBLEM SOLVED.”
Requoting this like a motherfucka.”
Requoting this like a metafucka.
“Damn, dude. Just stay home and cut a hole in a dollar bill.”
Aaahhh papercuts!
I instinctively squeezed my legs together 🙁
QFT! Fuck a meta!
it sounds like beta!!! fuck a beta!
That sounds like feta! A buck for feta!
Your minds all operate in a very special place, don’t they?