The A(n)nals of Online Dating blog manages to unearth some astoundingly awful and creepy online dating profiles. Looking around on the site’s archives the other day, I came across one profile that reminded me of so many discussions here I felt I needed to share it with you. Here’s some unnamed OKCupid dude explaining just what he looks for in a woman.
He starts off almost reasonably:
Message me if you are intelligent and can hold chopsticks and are not racist.
Ok, that’s a little confrontational, and the bit about chopsticks is odd, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting your date to be smart and not a bigot.
It’s at this point he careens off the road:
Also message me if you can understand that a WOMAN’S vagina is like a MAN’S money.
Go on.
Meaning if we are NOT dating and if I do not KNOW who you are, you will have to be able to provide for yourself.
Are there really a lot of women on dating sites that expect men they don’t know to pay their rent or electric bills?
I am not going to give a little unless you can give a little.
Ah, the transactional model of dating. What’s the over/under on this guy also being a raving Ron Paul fan?
Most women dont want to feel like a whore by giving it up on the first night and dont want to be used just for sex. They also dont want to give it up and then be afraid the man will leave. Thats the SAME way I FEEL about spending my hard earned money on you.
Because women don’t want to feel like whores, you’re going to treat them exactly like whores, by equating vaginas and money?
A lot of women in this town dont follow through with anything they say and a lot of them have A LOT of insecurities along with expecting a guy to buy them food and drinks and then completely walk over them.
By “walk[ing] over them” I presume he means that the women are not having sex with every guy who buys them a dinner while explaining at length about how vaginas and money are the same thing and why Ron Paul is the only hope for our nation.
I dont play that and I’ve dated a few women who are gorgeous who happen to understand what I am talking about.
So why the OkCupid profile? I guess these gorgeous women must not be returning his calls any more.
So if you u understand that my money and time is just as valuable as your body, then we’ll be in agreement to not share anything until there is an understanding.
You’ll need to sign the “sex for dinner” contract here and here, and initial here. And you’re ready to go!
Oh, and if you fellas here (of the heterosexual persuasion) are feeling a little left out, remember, there are some terrible, terrible women out there in online dating land for you as well.
If you like prescription drugs, weird bird feet, and fistfights with jealous Juggalo ex-boyfriends, send this little lady a note.
EDITED TO ADD: Holly Pervocracy has a great post on the wrongness of the vaginas = money equation here.
I can’t understand how this guy hasn’t been snatched up already. Everything about him screams “winner.”
“can hold chopsticks” = “be Asian because I have cliched and bigoted expectations about Asian women and submissiveness.”
I’ll take him! Do you do gift wrapping?
Well, better he’s upfront about this kind of thing now than after the first couple of dates.
Is this Br_n’s personal ad?
“Are there really a lot of women on dating sites that expect men they don’t know to pay their rent or electric bills?”
Woman Lets Match.com Dates Pay For All Of Her Dinners
http://articles.businessinsider.com/2011-11-29/news/30453560_1_match-com-roommates-japanese-restaurant
College Students Using ‘Sugar Daddies’ To Pay Off Loan Debt
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/29/seeking-arrangement-college-students_n_913373.html
If the male equivalent of a vagina is his money, what’s the male equivalent of a woman’s money?
That woman’s ad seems like classic Poe’s Law. but then they most of them do. maybe add a “people who should not be with anyone ever” tag?
If a woman’s vagina is the equivalent of a man’s money, then why do I get a cable bill written in dollars?
…Also, I don’t even want to know how my work would pay me. I’d get, um, my vagina refreshed with each paycheck? This is worrisome stuff.
Dude, women don’t actually have their own money, as in physical currency; that is, unless they’re being subsidized by some beta. Rather, they’re still stuck in the bartering phase of human history, you know, a few thousand years back. And they only have one good. Too bad it’s got a shelf life!
God damn, sometimes I get off almost as much on old broads as I do on tight young things. Looking at preggos, uggos, and aging has-beens, I start to fantasize about their emotional anguish once they suddenly realize their free selling point has been snatched away by the same capricious God who gave it to them. I’ve cum in my pants a few times, I won’t deny it.
>>>So why the OkCupid profile? I guess these gorgeous women must not be returning his calls any more.
Some of us on OKC are poly. Or we’re open to talking with cool people as friends and think it’s nice that the whole questions mechanism can be good for finding matches for friends as well as lovers.
Not saying this DB is these things, just saying that that bit of snark has a bit of splash damage on some of us non-creeps.
Point is well taken though. Male entitlement is at its paroxysm on dating sites. It’s fucking crazy how people actually present themselves thinking it might actually score them a date (about on par with going on a blind date in soiled work clothes and not understanding how that might not be the best idea ever). The casual hookup sites are even worse, just the fact of being present on a hookup site while XX flips you over the Madonna/Whore Line (it’s Science!) so by definition you are consenting to receiving any and all demanding propositions and dick pic on the planet. And if you’re not sucking their dick after one email, you’re a bitch. I’m getting my fair share of those as a bi male and I only have the restricted set of Gay/Bi/Curious Males That Are Also Entitled Douches to contend with. My roommate and ex-gf receives roughly 40 creepy entitled emails a day on JALF (a French Canadian hookup/kink site). I’m making do with about 1 to 3 a week. On OKC I have yet to receive any entitled shit, even though from my women acquaintances on the site it does seem the hetero male entitled contingent is out in full force there as well.
Who wants to bet Mesogog is another one of MRAL’s sock puppets?
I feel like I’m grotesquely undercharging.
Also, and I’ve said it before: fellas, if my vagina is nothing but a purchase to you, I expect MARKET VALUE. That means (for a reasonably attractive young woman in a metro area, at least) $150 for a quickie, $300 minimum for an overnighter.
An $18 dinner with a $6 drink? That’ll get you a peck on the cheek, cheapass. I mean, seriously, go to a real escort with that offer, and let me know if she even keeps a straight face while telling you to fuck off.
Or you could “pay” for your sex by making it fabulous and considerate sex, and hell, I might buy you dinner. The only drawback is that you’ll have to sacrifice your unwarranted sense of superiority and power over me, and I understand if you feel that’s just too high a price.
Oooh, ooh, I learned analogies for the SATs!
MAN’s money:WOMAN’s vagina as WOMAN’s money:MAN’s penis
Which, according to guys like the one in the op, means that a WOMAN’s money is the most important thing in the world.
Classic beta-male stupidity.
Once you take the red pill, you understand. You don’t have to buy a girl a drink and, eyes glazing over, listen to her oh! so! UNIQUE! thoughts about her yenta friends and her two dogs and her preposterous nonprofit job helping tranny cripples learn to knit– all in the hopes of tepid, be-condomed sex at the end of the night. No! There are a line of women willing to fuck a cocky asshole spitting game half an hour after meeting him, all the while claiming that they “never” do this. You can rawdog her, ravaging her with your snake, until you pull out and jizz spurts across her 42DD breasts and up to her face, and she will beg for more– as opposed to the beta male, who will crawl on the floor, his balls retracting into his stomach out of shame, in hopes of a dry, passionless blowjob.
Every time I read those entitled douchebags I wonder what happens if the woman they’re dating (the poor thing!) suggests to pay for her own food/drinks. Do their brains explode?
(And add me to the group of people who signed on to OKC to meet friends…)
I don’t get the chopsticks thing. Has this person actually seen someone eating with them? It’s not all delicate sushi eating, that’s for sure.
Mesogog is clearly a spoof.
If I’m wrong I’ll eat someone else’s hat.
Entertaining spoof, though.
To be fair, some people just have a overall problem with entitlement on dating sites. I’ve seen both men and women write dating profiles that were more like spec sheets for The Perfect Partner than attempts to introduce themselves.
Everything about this guy is sexist as well as entitled, no question; but men and women can both do the “this isn’t a profile of myself, this is my highly specific list of demands” thing.
(See, I hate saying this, because now MRAs have the chance to jump in and scream about female entitlement. Oh well, whatever. Not like they wouldn’t anyway.)
*snort* Priceless. But of course our resident alpha would be on top of that before me. Unfortunately there’s always a beta in a woman’s life ready to give her money. Whether it’s some sucka who thinks that a woman could ever love him, or it’s some omega employer that tries to convince women that, just because they are smarter, more experienced and better credentialed than the male candidates, they could actually do the job better *chuckle* Of course, women, being women, will take the job, since they are hardwired to take advantage of betas and omegas.
The chopsticks thing could *almost* be a rather neat litmus test. If you’re not from a country that customarily uses chopsticks, having bothered to learn to use them shows an openness to new ways of doing things, combined with decent manual dexterity. Which bodes well for a fun time!
Believing vaginas are lady-money, however, bodes ill. No man who thinks that is ever going to give a woman a fun time. Ugh.
Alsoalso, I wrote a whole post about this “vagina=money” thing, here:
http://pervocracy.blogspot.com/2011/08/this-ass-is-not-money.html
Because sadly this is far from the first time I’ve seen it.
@Mandolin
Always keep all your bases covered eh? Good show