Life is tough for the beta male. During his twenties, as Manosphere dudes never tire of reminding us, women reject him, choosing instead to throw themselves wantonly at caddish alpha males.
Only after these cruel, callous women have squandered their youth and beauty – by the age of 30 if not earlier – do they turn at last to the betas, who’ve been patiently waiting in the “friend zone” the whole time. Those poor betas, nice guys and good providers all, are then lured into marriage with these now-ugly shrews, who are no longer interested in sex, and want only their money, often used to provide for kids sired by alpha males. (See here for Holly Pervocracy’s more detailed analysis of the “Greek system.”)
But life can be tough for the alpha male as well, driven to exhaustion by nearly constant sex with an incredible array of horny twentysomething women. The movie trailer below will give you some idea of just what the typical alpha male has to deal with on a daily basis.
I’ve been reading Hooking Up Smart….someone clearly has a sense of irony in that name…. Anyways, after reading all the toxic bullshit I could take in an article, I read the comments. Yes. I know. And there are women there listing all their wonderful bubbly persoanilty traits like they’re hoping the guys on there will ask them on a date?! Arrgh! I’m not sure whether to give up in despair as a feminist, or become radfem…
Is the orange color supposed to indicate what happens to penises when they don’t get enough attention? You’d think he’d at least have made them blue.
He at least had the artistic talent to make the one penis on the far left all sad looking when it needs to bounce off of most of the larger women. On the other hand, all of the men in that picture should be dead of blood loss…
The real scary thing is that some of the penii look more like butts… *cannot unsee*
Also, he forgot to draw one of those women as a feminist. Statistically speaking, one of them should have been.
Maybe his theory is that if any of the women were feminists the penis balloons would deflate.
My theory is that one of those women would have said “I’m a feminist” and the rest of that picture would have been the guys trying to manfully hide behind the other womens skirts.
Come to think of it, the women in the pictures (the overweight ones anyway) look rather balloonish and spherical too. Both men and women look so unhappy, yet ironically they would be happy if only the balloon-people would accept each other for who they are!
Floating around in the skies, free of earthly worries and stress. Large, weightless woman riding penis balloons. *sigh* 🙂
We should all reconvene tomorrow and see how many people had weird trippy dreams about disembodied orange balloon penises.
Those poor homeless penises, is what I kept thinking. I will head over to a totally unrelated blog now to see if I can find anyone to collaborate with me on my plan to build shelters for homeless penises.
Be sure to start off yelling at people about how they couldn’t possibly care about unhoused, disembodied penises.
@pillowinhell Is there any other way to start a respectful conversation about collaboration? 🙂
Sure. Tell the guy who is trying to pick you up at the bar that you’re a feminist. And that he won’t be getting laid.
Oh no, I have a fever. This is totally possible. 🙁
Trippy dreams? Just substitute orange balloon penises in for the hippos:
They’ll look so cute in their little tutus…
@Viscaria, sorry about the fever!
Actually, what nobody has yet realized is that those were exerpts from a novel – Roissy and the Giant Balloon Penises. It’s a precious artifact from Roald Dahl’s lesser known totally tripping balls period.
Sooo… I decided to illustrate my little floaty image from before. Perhaps this will help aid the fever dreams. 🙂
http://oi40.tinypic.com/xgl9uw.jpg
note: you might need to zoom in a bit to see it well.
That pic, by the way, probably isn’t safe for work…
It’s interesting the devotion Roissy & Co. have to the idea that all sex is the result of random bar pickups.
In my experience, a lot of people find sexual partners through mutual friends, in classes or social clubs, or online. It’s a whole lot less stressful than the “find someone by the end of the night” meat market and you get to know people better.
It’s not that I have anything against meat-market environments (well, personally I’m incredibly uncomfortable in them, but I don’t think it’s immoral or anything), but there’s something really juvenile about thinking that’s the only way anyone ever has sex.
Especially if you’re Roissy’s age…
Only white knights and manginas get sex without having to work for it.
In all seriousness though, Roissy believes that all women only want to be dominated by big strong manly men… I think he’s just incapable of thinking that anything except Game produces actual sex, unless of course you are the mythical Alpha.
Reading Roissy makes me feel like those snarky little comments that Sandra keeps leaving here. First day on the alien planet – WTF is going on? Has this man ever actually met a woman?
Aw, thanks cloudiah! It’s a pretty minor fever, anyway. But weird dreams are pretty much inevitable and I would rather not dream about penis balloons, thank you >.> maybe I will dream about puppies. Puppies are the best!
http://youtu.be/hPsSWWZy2lc
Viscaria, thanks for the puppy brain rinse.
It’s more of a shorthand for the amount of work one has to do assuming competent Game (approach, 15minute conversation, 1 hour coffee meet, 7 hours dating) per lay. An Alpha will get 4 out of 5 women initially interested and close the deal with 1 in 2, a beta with game will get 1 in 50 to 1 in 100, varying degrees of beta have the average man’s 1 in 500 for a total of 3-6 lifetime partners, some men can only get a single date by asking out 100 women and will take 3 months to a year (even playing “cute girl of the day” game) to do that and only 1 in 1000 will actually sleep with them. According to Baumeister and Tice, historically speaking, 60% of men who ever lived have left no progeny. Thus, omega status is more likely than not.
Do fat men not exist? Where did the redhead come from? Does Roissy think that “thin vagina” sounds sexy? Is he aware that every time he types the phrase “sperm-worthy,” another woman’s reproductive organs seal themselves off forever in self-defense?
If I understand this illustrated presentation, women should work harder to look hot because this will decrease the perceived hotness of individual women, and thus no woman will ever be in danger of feeling attractive. In fact, women will feel so crappy that they will allow guys with goldfish instead of penises to have sex with them.
So…we should put tons of effort into making life suck for ourselves…why?
Why am I cursed to lie awake at night, pondering these questions?