Life is tough for the beta male. During his twenties, as Manosphere dudes never tire of reminding us, women reject him, choosing instead to throw themselves wantonly at caddish alpha males.
Only after these cruel, callous women have squandered their youth and beauty – by the age of 30 if not earlier – do they turn at last to the betas, who’ve been patiently waiting in the “friend zone” the whole time. Those poor betas, nice guys and good providers all, are then lured into marriage with these now-ugly shrews, who are no longer interested in sex, and want only their money, often used to provide for kids sired by alpha males. (See here for Holly Pervocracy’s more detailed analysis of the “Greek system.”)
But life can be tough for the alpha male as well, driven to exhaustion by nearly constant sex with an incredible array of horny twentysomething women. The movie trailer below will give you some idea of just what the typical alpha male has to deal with on a daily basis.
Well, Roissy’s main theory seems to be that if women refuse to comply then as soon as we’re 30-ish we’ll be miserable, miserable I tell you! Because all men will scorn us.
Hate to break it to you, dude, but I’m 38 and I’m pretty damn happy*. If men like Roissy ignore me then I consider that to be a one of the greatest benefits that getting older offers.
* Other than the dental stuff, which sucks. But oh well, at nearly 40 if some dental surgery is the only health issue I have to deal with I still consider myself rather fortunate. Not being a bitter asshole helps!
oh noes! the misogynists wont want me cuz I refuse to be a perfect skinny doormat who knows her place. MY LIFE IS OVERRRR AND SO IS WESTERN CULTURE!!!!!1
@ Holly
I think that Roissy thinks that he himself is the fabulous prize?
Which is kind of like someone knocking on your door and, when you open it, announcing that you have won a lifetime supply of cockroaches.
@Cassandra
someone who thinks starving babies to make a point is such a prize eh?
I’m only 26 and I need dental surgery! (Having it in a couple weeks, in fact. Yay? I’m not exactly happy about it, but I’m happy about the idea that maybe afterwards my teeth won’t hurt all the time.)
Surely this is my punishment for ignoring Roissy’s wisdom.
@ Holly
What are you having done? I’m getting an extraction, then an implant in a few months. Kind of freaking out since this will be the first time I’ve ever had surgery. Since I’ve never experienced general anaesthetic I’m leaning towards just taking Valium to calm myself down and then having it done under local. The idea of injury in mouth + potential drug induced nausea just doesn’t seem wise.
CassandraSays – I’m having two wisdom teeth extracted. They’re both badly decayed and have bone and other teeth overlapping them so it’s going to be kinda nasty. :/
I’m going with the general anesthetic. I had two teeth pulled without even Novocaine when I was a kid (amazing how medical professionals will humor an abusive parent who “doesn’t want my child using drugs!”) and it was a nightmare. I don’t think I could sit still through the procedure if I were even a little bit awake.
Have you two lined up people to help take care of you post-surgery? Oral surgery is a lot easier if there’s a sympathetic person willing to make smoothies and cuddle :).
Viscaria – Yep, Rowdy’s going to be my nurse. 🙂 I’m going to stock up on yogurt and Jell-O and other non-tooth-challenging foodstuffs before the surgery, too.
Viscaria – Yep! The ex is going to take a couple of days off to look after me. Food is going to be a challenge, though, since my diet pretty much consists of rice + spicy and crunchy things.
@no more mr nice guy:
I read the first paragraph and my reaction was: “Oh noes! There was a news item about women, and it didn’t mention men at all!”
Then I realized that that seems to be the attitude behind a bunch of “feminists aren’t helping men enough” accusations…
Huh… So I got to here somehow… Heartiste is apparently an artist! And his art reveals that life/game is nothing more than making sure all the penises find a nice vagina home. Also, redheads desire attention but not sex, and women desire to trample dismembered penises with stilettos.
Diagrams really… REALLY don’t do these people any services. =_=
I would say that he should stick to writing, but he’s terrible at that too.
Funny stuff all around, but has anyone else ACTUALLY SEEN that Clint Eastwood flick?!! I had no idea what it was called, but I recognize it from the trailer, which only hints at the levels of *gothic-smoldering-bitches-b-crazy-hysteria to come. I watched it on tv while being babysat by my grandma (so yeah, pretty young), for extra weirdness. Bwaaaaah! Good find, Futrelle.
*King of the Hill did a funny take on this theme, with the Hills accompanying Bill Dautrieve to his decaying family manse in the deep south, where Bill was accosted by a trio of insatiably sexy sirens, one of whom–he didn’t know which–was his cousin. The great Kathleen Turner voiced the matriarch (the Geraldine Page role in the trailer). One of the greater KotHs.
PS, I’m cracking up over the ending of Beguiled, which I guess I shouldn’t spoil. (Remember: What Would River Song Do?)
Wow. His penises look like pig trotters to me. Anyone else?
Kirbywarp….LoL! Wow, creative genius!
You know, normally I have sympathy for anyone who’s looking for companionship or sex and finds themselves involuntarily alone. That can really suck. After reading MRA crap, well, I’ve come to believe that karma does exist in at least an imperfect form.
Whenever I read stuff like Roissy I find myself going, well, there’s someone for everyone…except maybe that guy.
Maybe someone should let Heartiste know that he draws like a little girl…
I don’t think little girls would draw giant dongs like that… O_o
How does a man draw penises that look so un-penis-like? Presumably he has one on hand to refer to.
@Cassandra and Holly, that’s good! Sounds like you’re both set up. It’ll suck for a while, but less than not getting the surgery would.
Now, Heartiste. You know what really makes me hot and bothered? Being called “sperm-worthy.” Oh please, oh please, please let some man, somewhere, call me “sperm-worthy,” while sporting an erection bigger around than his torso.
Since little girls don’t have penises in general…I can see if you tried to explain what they looked like, a pic might turn out that way.
Also, this:
Sorry Roissy, I hate feeling hungry and I love peanut butter and sheepdogs. I’d rather be single forever than hungry forever. Not that I actually think that women need to be one or the other.
I’m a fat girl and I have sex!
Apparently I am magical.
I’m also playing an important role in sparing men from having their orange-ballon-penises trampled under the evil stilettos of Little Orphan Annie.