Categories
a voice for men misandry MRA none dare call it conspiracy oppressed men penises precious bodily fluids

Do you want semen on that? How Law & Order: SVU imperils innocent penises

That's a LOT of semen.

TV detectives pore over semen stains, and find evidence of crimes. Over on A Voice for Men, B.R. Merrick pores over TV detectives poring over semen stains, and finds evidence of “anti-man mentality.” On Law & Order: SVU, he says,

Every time I chanced upon seeing a bit of it, someone somewhere said “semen.”

You know the show focuses on sex crimes, right? When you’re investigating sex crimes, I’d say the chances are pretty good you’re going to run across some semen from time to time.

This is a show that has been on the air for more than a decade, a spin-off from another program more than two decades long, dedicated to entertaining millions of Americans every week using salacious, graphic language about terrible crimes.  Semen.  Semen stains.  Semen samples.  Semen on a dead body.  Crime.  Law, order, crime, and semen.

Spam, eggs, bacon, semen and spam. Spam, spam, bacon, semen, and spam. Semen, semen, spam eggs sausage and semen.

Sorry, I got distracted.

Semen is disgusting, if I am to conclude anything from watching this program.  How is it that a show that continually mentions semen in connection with horrific crime can remain so popular for over a decade? 

Christopher Melonimania? No, nothing so straightforward as that. Clearly what we’re dealing with is anti-semen propaganda of the sneakiest sort.

Millions watch, but virtually no one notices.  It is as if the ejaculation of semen is something that the world puts up with but secretly detests.  Since only men make semen; since it is usually voluntarily ejaculated except for certain cases of rape and nocturnal emissions; and since the voluntary giving of this life-giving substance is usually frequent; what are men supposed to think if the culture embraces mainstream entertainment that virtually equates semen with crime?

If semen is outlawed only outlaws will produce semen?

The conclusions we are supposed to draw seem pretty obvious to me: Women and sexless children are the victims of semen, the victims of men.  Men are too quick to indulge their semen-connected desires.  Pornography is directly connected to men, semen, and the oftentimes unavoidable crimes that result. 

So jerking off into a sock has been criminalized?

Once you indulge a penis, all bets are off.  Unless, of course, he’s been thoroughly trained.

Penises can be trained? Really? I’ve had very little luck training mine.

Men who are raised not to take their feelings seriously will probably feel a little tinge that is quickly ignored when semen is mentioned in a silly television program.  Men who are used to being teased will grin along with the giggling girls who laugh at a man whose penis is not only severed, but shredded in a garbage disposal, so that he can spend the last several decades of his life without one. 

So Law & Order: SVU is secretly preparing men for a dystopian future in which all untrained penises will all be shredded in garbage disposals?

Stay tuned, I guess.

229 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Leely
Leely
12 years ago

There. I criticized a feminist. Lightning did not strike me dead.

Not to mention the fairly heavy criticism leveled at a feminist IN THIS VERY THREAD.

Noadi
12 years ago

dicipres: You really are doing a terrible job at trolling. Feminists disagree with each other all the time, you don’t even have to leave this blog to see feminists disagreeing with each other. Schwyzer was disliked and distrusted by many feminists for a long time, it wasn’t a case of disagree once and be banned for not being feminist enough, it was a case of an ever increasing number of problems that finally became too much. He can keep calling himself a feminist but no one is obligated to like him or keep publishing him if they think he isn’t a good representative for the publication.

dicipres
12 years ago

Holly Pervocracy

Well “demanding a basic standard of behavior from people on your own side” thing.” is great, however, with regard to Tom Matlack, he just voiced a different opinion and got excommunicated. My claim is that feminism is intolerant to real discussion, hysteric and any criticism is ridiculed (see Manboobz) /blamed on sexism.

BTW: I noticed several feminists sub (e.g. http://archiveofthebitingbeaver.wordpress.com/). I wonder if your BDSM affects your feminism. Maybe part of your mind is angry during sub-BDSM acts (I’m sure other parts are happy) and this fuels your feminism.

CassandraSays
12 years ago

” Men are too quick to indulge their semen-connected desires.”

Well, yeah, in the context of the show that would indeed be something that you’d see come up in reference to some men, since it’s about sex crimes. Are they supposed to instead make the show about how rape is totally OK since semen is such an awesome life-giving force?

Sharculese
12 years ago

dicipres cannot tell the difference between ‘criticizing’ other feminists and the flaming tantrum matlack threw. this does not bode well for his argumentation skills

Sharculese
12 years ago

Tom Matlack, he just voiced a different opinion and got excommunicated

that… is not what happened…

dicipres
12 years ago

Naodi: “dicipres: You really are doing a terrible job at trolling. ”

I didn’t even tried, I just criticized feminism.

Sharculese
12 years ago

omigod, why are you guys all universally so whiny and mealy-mouthed. do you all take the same ‘sucking at getting your point across’ class?

Holly Pervocracy
12 years ago

Well “demanding a basic standard of behavior from people on your own side” thing.” is great, however, with regard to Tom Matlack, he just voiced a different opinion and got excommunicated. My claim is that feminism is intolerant to real discussion, hysteric and any criticism is ridiculed (see Manboobz) /blamed on sexism.

Tom Matlack voiced opinions against feminism so people stopped seeing him as a feminist.

Is he even upset about that? I mean, that’s pretty self-evident. It’s like saying “Democrats shouldn’t excommunicate people who declare themselves Republicans!”

BTW: I noticed several feminists sub (e.g. http://archiveofthebitingbeaver.wordpress.com/). I wonder if your BDSM affects your feminism. Maybe part of your mind is angry during sub-BDSM acts (I’m sure other parts are happy) and this fuels your feminism.

Oh, you totally got me. I’m only a feminist because I have consensually rough sex. That makes ALL THE SENSE.

Holly Pervocracy
12 years ago

Also, etymology lesson: “hysterical” literally means “insane because your uterus is acting up.” It was considered a real mental disorder (and catch-all excuse to ignore women) for many, many years.

So it’s sort of a bad-taste thing to use that to dismiss feminists.

Not that I suppose you care, when you’re off in your “you have BDSM sex therefore you hate men, which you express by wanting the same rights as men”, um… thing. Whatever that is.

Polliwog
Polliwog
12 years ago

I wonder if your BDSM affects your feminism. Maybe part of your mind is angry during sub-BDSM acts (I’m sure other parts are happy) and this fuels your feminism.

Ahahahahahahahahaha.

Oh, little armchair psychologists. You never fail to amuse.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

Man, these trolls are bad.

Noadi
12 years ago

BTW: I noticed several feminists sub (e.g. http://archiveofthebitingbeaver.wordpress.com/). I wonder if your BDSM affects your feminism. Maybe part of your mind is angry during sub-BDSM acts (I’m sure other parts are happy) and this fuels your feminism.

Technically I’m a switch and a masochist not a sub but BDSM certainly affects my feminism, because I am choosing what I do with my body. Nobody forces me to have needles shoved in my body, or be whipped, or bound. It all comes back to personal autonomy and while there is an illusion of control by my top the fact is nothing happens that I don’t consent to. I’m not angry during my scenes, I feel a lot of things but anger isn’t part of it (the closest I get is wanting to fight back sometimes which can lead to a very good scene).

I know there are feminists who dislike BDSM and equate it with abuse, that is certainly an area which I have a huge disagreement with those feminists.

dicipres
12 years ago

“you have BDSM sex therefore you hate men” was just a question, if you don’t want to answer than don’t.

“which you express by wanting the same rights as men” no reasonable person is against equal rights, but feminism is not, in practice, about equal rights (which were achieved decades ago), it is about controlling the outcomes so that in any given field women are equal or above men.

And, yes, many feminists hate men (just like many MRAs hate women). The “battle of the sexes” always involved elements of anger at cheating/ignoring/leaving/rejection etc.

Noadi
12 years ago

By the way I do put the causation at BDSM to feminism because BDSM has made me confront my assumptions about people and gender roles in ways that I might not have otherwise. It made me go from just supporting equality and choice to actively advocating for it.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

Wow, this troll is like EN on whippets.

Holly Pervocracy
12 years ago

“you have BDSM sex therefore you hate men” was just a question, if you don’t want to answer than don’t.

I love answering questions!

Yes, I have BDSM sex!
No, I don’t hate men!

In fact, if I hated men having BDSM sex with men would be very difficult for me!

And, yes, many feminists hate men (just like many MRAs hate women). The “battle of the sexes” always involved elements of anger at cheating/ignoring/leaving/rejection etc.

Right, that’s why we want equal pay, protection from sexual violence, and equal representation in government.

Because we’re angry about being cheated on.

You’re such a child.

dicipres
12 years ago

Not trolling, engaging in discussion.

Holly Pervocracy
12 years ago

Okay, let’s have a discussion if the only reason I think it’s reasonable to pay me the same as men and not reasonable to rape me is because of the kind of sex I have, plus maybe I’m bitter about a man leaving me.

…Nope!

Okay, folks, good discussion.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

Bullshit, dicipres. You barged in with your stupid shit about Schwyzer and how David should “watch out,” now you want to–what exactly? with the sex-poz feminists on the board.

Whatever it is, discussion has very little to do with it, you disingenuous twerp.

Rutee Katreya
12 years ago

And, yes, many feminists hate men (just like many MRAs hate women). The “battle of the sexes” always involved elements of anger at cheating/ignoring/leaving/rejection etc.

Ooo, the false equivalence, that’s novel. Go look for feminists hating men, it’s pretty fucking rare. You usually see way too much fawning over the feelings of men in feminist spaces, really.

red_locker
12 years ago

“omigod, why are you guys all universally so whiny and mealy-mouthed. do you all take the same ‘sucking at getting your point across’ class?”

That, and the same linkage (with minor differences) EVERY TIME.

Seriously, guys, stop linking to Biting Beaver. Nobody here agrees with it, and it has already been criticized.

dicipres
12 years ago

equal pay – a competitive market don’t allow for wage discrimination (might exist in thing like government offices). Just have women only company and bust the market. Also, young women mare MORE than men.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/07/the-end-of-men/8135/

protection from sexual violence – you can never protect everybody from violence, the laws against sexual abuse are very harsh and the definitions of abuse is wide.

equal representation in government – women are free to be elected just like men and you are the majority of voters. Again, you want equality of outcome, not of rights.

dicipres
12 years ago

correction
” Also, young women mare MORE than men.” -> Also, young women earn MORE than men.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

Young woman “mare” more than men?

Paging Dr. Freud, Dr. Sigmund Freud.