Several days ago, angry-MRA-dude hub A Voice for Men ran a guest post from someone identified only as Phil in Utah entitled “How I became an MRA: Domestic violence advocacy.” After Phil’s post in question drew some criticism from some of the AVfM regulars who didn’t see it as radical enough, site founder and head cheese Paul Elam felt it necessary to take Phil to task for one of the statements he made in the post.
So let’s have a quick quiz. Here are three quotes taken from Phil in Utah’s post. Which of them is the one that drew Elam’s ire?
- “[F]eminists only support the rights of women who agree with them, and have no qualms throwing disagreeing women under the bus.”
- “[T]he idea that women are hurt more than men by being abused is a load of crap.”
- “I still believe that men who brutalize women are the scum of the Earth.”
ANSWER: Did you guess #1? Wrong. While this statement isn’t actually true, Elam didn’t object to it. How about #2? While this statement is also untrue – numerous studies show that women are far more likely to be seriously injured by domestic violence than men – Elam didn’t object to it either. Nope. He objected to statement #3. That is:
I still believe that men who brutalize women are the scum of the Earth.
How could any decent human being possibly object to this? Here’s Elam explanation:
I admit I flinched a little when I read this. Clearly these are words rooted in old world sexist notions about violence; that somehow men who brutalize women are worse than women who brutalize men. It is old programming that tends to swim around in the unconscious even after the first few rounds of red pills.
Now, I should note that Phil didn’t actually say, or imply, that “men who brutalize women are worse than women who brutalize men.” Indeed, he spent most of the essay arguing that DV against men needed to be taken more seriously. If anything, he minimized violence against women, by denying the fact that women are indeed more likely to be seriously injured by their male partners than male partners are to be seriously injured by women.
Evidently, for Elam and others on AVfM, straightforward expressions of enmity against men who brutalize women are a form of “latent misandry.”
But we’re only just getting started here. As it turns out, Elam was less troubled by Phil’s “misandry” than he was by some of the nastier attacks on Phil and other
new MRA’s who are ‘getting it’ but have not had the time or opportunity to fully refine their understanding of the modern zeitgeist.
Indeed, one commenter had even gone so far as to call poor Phil “pussy-footed.” And yet another called him a “mangina/white knight.” This, Elam announced, would not do!
MRA’s name calling and shaming other MRA’s is not constructive. It is petty alpha-gaming … .
In other words, it’s the sort of thing that guys do to try to impress the chicks. And that’s bad.
[A] significant part of the dynamics that hinder progress in the MRM is the innate friction between men which is driven by an undercurrent of sexual competition. Our unfortunate programming is to apply downward pressure on each other in order to vie for sexual selection.
On MRA blogs, this is often described with the scientific term “pussy begging.” Elam continued:
Feminism is an outgrowth of chivalry. It is dependent on male sexual competition to thrive. In short, misandry, feminism, the stinking lot of it, is a human problem rooted in men’s mindless competition for women. We don’t get out of that competition by simply rejecting women or Going Our Own Way. We get out of it by identifying and respectfully challenging the elements of that competition when they prove dysfunctional, as in going after MRA’s for blood any time we imagine they are not 100% on message. This conduct, when distilled down to its essence, is just a tell-tale artifact of pussy-centric masculinity.
So, in other words, MRAs who call other MRAs pussy-begging manginas are themselves … pussy-begging manginas.
Such is MRA logic.
It’s funny how reading this stuff desensitizes you to MRA bullshit, in a weird way. Like, it stops being all that shocking after a while. My honest thought process was “Oh, obviously he took issue with #3. #1 and #2 are somewhat toned down versions of typical MRA arguments. #3 implies that men are to blame for anything at all, ever, and that violence against women is wrong.”
Why can’t it just be a given that violence is wrong, regardless of gender??? Arghhhh.
I almost feel bad for Alex Novy. He was trying SO HARD to pretend that the MRA is reasonable, and now he’s been forced to admit that it isn’t he’s trying SO HARD to pretend that that doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with the underlying concepts, it’s just that those guys, over there, are a bit unreasonable.
His poor rationalization hamster deserves a vacation.
And yeah, I’m with David here – please, no more MRA YouTube videos. I made it less than 2 minutes into the one above before my eyes glazed over and I had to turn it off. The only entertaining thing about it was the choice of porny chibi elfy graphic to accompany it. Those evil tempting lady cartoon characters that men drew, they should stop being so evil and tempting.
Have you guys been following the Feminazis for Misandry tag on Tumblr?
@Holly, that is a truly luminous uterus! Luminous Uterus is my new band name, BTW.
@Cassandra
how much do you want to bet he used a sexy anime chick pic to attract people to his video, then he has the audacity to call women manipulators.
Fucking jackass.
Also it sounds like Alek Novy and his cronies are breaking off from the rest of the manosphere because they don’t hate women enough.
Hey MRAs? you keep talking about how oppressed men are while simultaneously building civilization….so how come you’re on the internet ranting all the time hmm? Even internet feminists have accomplished more irl than you have. Jessica Valenti was on Anderson Cooper a few weeks ago. Come on! use those big juicy man-brains of yours to build robo-women so you can do us all a favor and go your own way once and for all!
That’s beautiful. :’)
Holly, your art reminds me of something I covet from one of my local antique shops. They have a plaster 3D uterus that’s about four feet by two feet and shows the egg from ovulation on down the tubes–it’s bright various shades of pink and probably came from an old classroom, and dear god, do I want that in my living room. Unfortunately they are smoking crack and want $650 for it.
If it goes half off, I’ll probably buy that sucker.
Anatomical chart companies sell model uteri for a lot less than that. But they’re probably not quite so… grand… in execution.
Also, if you do buy it, I will be so incredibly amused if you gild it. 🙂
“Hey MRAs? you keep talking about how oppressed men are while simultaneously building civilization….so how come you’re on the internet ranting all the time hmm? Even internet feminists have accomplished more irl than you have”
MRAs are the least active ‘activists’ imaginable. At least Paul Elam has attended some conferences, however small and pointless they may have been. But he couldn’t even get his followers to sign an online petition, which doesn’t require you to get out of your chair.
Holly, this thing has to be seen to be believed. Next time I’m there, I’ll snap a pic.
@Crumbelievable: This probably sums up why men in the “manosphere” don’t advocate:
http://lordpopinjay.wordpress.com/2012/01/16/we-dont-give-a-shit-about-you/
In fact, just changing your attitude, thought process, world view and behaviors is enough to make change. You don’t need to lobby Congress to change something.
@Brandon:
I, for one, am perfectly happy to let the “manosphere” continue not advocating. Though I am a little offended at that particular blogs constant use of “all men…” Why is it that MRAs are so intent on painting men as rapists, pedophiles, and general shitheads?
Going back to subject of MRAs and parenthood, there’s plenty of contradictions like where they act like raising a child is a burden and the woman should do the work, but then turn around and say that women are too stupid to it properly.
Hahahaha…oh yeah, that dude doesn’t care at all. That’s exactly why he wrote such a long entry about how much he doesn’t care. Same with his blog regurgitating the same old manosphere BS too…he just does it cuz he doesn’t care.
Nope. Implying that women destroy society by daring to put..sorry..”force” themselves into positions of power (that rightfully belong to teh menz amiright?) totally doesn’t sound bitter in the least.
You don’t care either, right Brandon? that’s why you keep coming back here right? sorry don’t you have some Xbox to play?
Not caring. Ur doing it wrong.
@Carrie
The entire MRM is one giant contradiction. The latest article on AVfM is about how much women suck at being in the military and how more women in the military will destroy it. Meanwhile the poor menz are soooo oppressed because they’re the ones that have to fight and die in wars. But then when we put women in the military the menz are sooooo oppressed because now they wont have any men only spaces and have to listen to some bitch tell them not to rape their fellow soldiers.
They are like little CHILDREN.
A common theme for many MRAs is to deride child care as not really being work at all. “How hard could it be?” they ask rhetorically, unintentionally revealing that they haven’t the slightest idea.
“No one is more arrogant toward women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious about his virility.”
~Simone de Beauvoir pwns MRAs
MRM doesn’t stand for Men’s rights movement it stands for “me me me me” rights movement.
That is why it is so contradictory and has no clear goals, it is what is best for that one individual and who cares about everybody else.
@kirbywarp, your new Kirby is pretty adorable. At least, I think it’s new. I’m the person who won’t notice you got glasses until you point it out a week later.
@Viscaria:
Funny enough, I am wearing new glasses. Thanks for noticing. ^_^
I figured it was time to get a new icon, a more peaceful one to match my more peaceful online persona. I’m gonna start trying to give a little more credit where credit is due and generally being more pleasant and detached from horribleness. 🙂
@Quackers: That’s very true. At least at the rad-fem sites I’ve visited, they’re consistent with their feelings on the opposite gender. They want nothing to do with men and that’s final. No male sexbots, no foreign men, no under-aged guys (or at most 25) and no love’m and leave them mentality.
Men must accept women who are being consistent with male sexuality and women who want sex from men. It is not necessary that pussy begging in front of women who are following feminism.
What MRAs can’t handle, most of all, is the total irrelevance of their sad, grubbly little movement. It’s going nowhere, they have no leaders of any merit or consequence, no charisma, nothing. They are a collective of bloggers who turn on each other.
That’s why they constantly cry victory – they feel an overwhelming need to reassure themselves of their importance.
Regarding Alek Novy – I truly believe that most MRAs will move on with their lives. Sad cases like Elam and JtO are too far gone, but I reckon Novy will quit sooner or later.