Several days ago, angry-MRA-dude hub A Voice for Men ran a guest post from someone identified only as Phil in Utah entitled “How I became an MRA: Domestic violence advocacy.” After Phil’s post in question drew some criticism from some of the AVfM regulars who didn’t see it as radical enough, site founder and head cheese Paul Elam felt it necessary to take Phil to task for one of the statements he made in the post.
So let’s have a quick quiz. Here are three quotes taken from Phil in Utah’s post. Which of them is the one that drew Elam’s ire?
- “[F]eminists only support the rights of women who agree with them, and have no qualms throwing disagreeing women under the bus.”
- “[T]he idea that women are hurt more than men by being abused is a load of crap.”
- “I still believe that men who brutalize women are the scum of the Earth.”
ANSWER: Did you guess #1? Wrong. While this statement isn’t actually true, Elam didn’t object to it. How about #2? While this statement is also untrue – numerous studies show that women are far more likely to be seriously injured by domestic violence than men – Elam didn’t object to it either. Nope. He objected to statement #3. That is:
I still believe that men who brutalize women are the scum of the Earth.
How could any decent human being possibly object to this? Here’s Elam explanation:
I admit I flinched a little when I read this. Clearly these are words rooted in old world sexist notions about violence; that somehow men who brutalize women are worse than women who brutalize men. It is old programming that tends to swim around in the unconscious even after the first few rounds of red pills.
Now, I should note that Phil didn’t actually say, or imply, that “men who brutalize women are worse than women who brutalize men.” Indeed, he spent most of the essay arguing that DV against men needed to be taken more seriously. If anything, he minimized violence against women, by denying the fact that women are indeed more likely to be seriously injured by their male partners than male partners are to be seriously injured by women.
Evidently, for Elam and others on AVfM, straightforward expressions of enmity against men who brutalize women are a form of “latent misandry.”
But we’re only just getting started here. As it turns out, Elam was less troubled by Phil’s “misandry” than he was by some of the nastier attacks on Phil and other
new MRA’s who are ‘getting it’ but have not had the time or opportunity to fully refine their understanding of the modern zeitgeist.
Indeed, one commenter had even gone so far as to call poor Phil “pussy-footed.” And yet another called him a “mangina/white knight.” This, Elam announced, would not do!
MRA’s name calling and shaming other MRA’s is not constructive. It is petty alpha-gaming … .
In other words, it’s the sort of thing that guys do to try to impress the chicks. And that’s bad.
[A] significant part of the dynamics that hinder progress in the MRM is the innate friction between men which is driven by an undercurrent of sexual competition. Our unfortunate programming is to apply downward pressure on each other in order to vie for sexual selection.
On MRA blogs, this is often described with the scientific term “pussy begging.” Elam continued:
Feminism is an outgrowth of chivalry. It is dependent on male sexual competition to thrive. In short, misandry, feminism, the stinking lot of it, is a human problem rooted in men’s mindless competition for women. We don’t get out of that competition by simply rejecting women or Going Our Own Way. We get out of it by identifying and respectfully challenging the elements of that competition when they prove dysfunctional, as in going after MRA’s for blood any time we imagine they are not 100% on message. This conduct, when distilled down to its essence, is just a tell-tale artifact of pussy-centric masculinity.
So, in other words, MRAs who call other MRAs pussy-begging manginas are themselves … pussy-begging manginas.
Such is MRA logic.
I think the dump on and chump off is that she can “dump them” on him, when she wants to go out, and she can also, “use them” to get money from him.
Because you know that when she says little Timmy needs new shoes, she’s getting a manicure.
Ozy had a recent post at NSWATM where zie discussed how the Census Bureau described fathers as mere babysitters for their own children. Here’s an area where men are treated badly, like they’re not as good at nurturing and caregiving as mothers. The MRA’s, though, don’t make much fuss about that stereotype unless they’re getting a divorce and want custody. Otherwise, a lot of them act like taking care of children is the most degrading activity on earth (“women’s work”). Hey MRA’s, if you want to fight sexist stereotypes against men, you should stop saying things like “also using his children to dump on and chump off him”.
The comment section on the Golden Uterus article (which is on The Spreadhead, not AVFM) is, as to be expected, a comedy goldmine:
“Women’s value is defined by what they have. Which is a vagina, uterus, and babymaking capability. Hence the self-entitlement and the probable evolutionary adaptation of selfishness and reliance on emotional solipsism and manipulation.
Men’s value is defined by what they do. Which is build absolutely everything, provide everything and advance civilization through their effort, rationality, intelligence, courage and sacrifice.” (42 up, 2 down)
Fidelbogen and JonhtheOther also love using ten dollar words when five dollar words would work better. Their smug pretentiousness is very annoying.
Um, I’ve got arms and legs and a head and stuff.
I love it.
It makes so much more sense now!
@crumbelievable
That sounds like NWOslave, except I’m guessing it’s not him because it doesn’t obsess over sexuality quite as much.
So all those women that built things-like say my Great Grandmother on her ranch-they did not actually build it. Even though in her case she actually nailed the wood in place but since I guess she bought the lumber, she did not really build it.
I don’t think the MRA’s have a problem with that stereotypes even when they talk about divorce. Even in divorce, they consider child care degrading, beneath them, and therefore “women’s work”. When they talk about “default shared custody”, they aren’t talking about sharing child care; they are talking about retaining control and decision-making authority over the child, while continuing to saddle the mother with all, or most, of the day-to-day physical work.
This sound a LOT like NWO’s theory of sexuality, that all women are just their parts.
You should read some of the linked articles in the golden uterus section! Had a great time chuckling over some of their personal mommy issues.
Also, the fifteen point list on symptoms of golden uterus….wow. How many women really act like that. Yes, I’m sure that there are some truly abusive, narcissistic women out there, but they aint all that common!
PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth: Yep, unless your grandmother chewed the trees down with her teeth (like the manly men), and karate chopped them into boards (like menly man), and then build her ranch, she didn’t REALLY build it.
Presents, without comment, or having looked at any of them, the results page from a google search for “the golden penis.”
Sauce, goose, gander.
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=the+golden+penis
Wait a minute, if women are defined by what they have, and men are defined by what they do, then why do women get shamed for sleeping around but men don’t?
I don’t know about the rest of the female hivemind, but my CV is five pages of things I have *accomplished.* It does not contain a single mention of any of my body parts.
@crumbelievable: Oops, thanks for correcting the citation!
Dani, if you did it, we all did it. That’s why we’re a hivemind.
True, the MRA’s would still want mom to do all of the physical work and take on all of the financial costs as well. Some of them remarry and expect the next wife to do all of the work, though. Either way, I don’t think many of them want to change diapers, attend parent-teacher conferences, break up sibling squabbles, or stay up all night with a feverish child. MRA’s want all of the benefits of parenthood with none of the responsibility.
I just noticed this: Exasperated by the latest round of the PUA/MRA wars, our friend Alex Novy says, “This community has an amazing ability of chasing away anyone sane.” I could not have said it better. 😀
Er, try here.
Ahh, so now all the “written” works of the MRM are kooks, the real MRM is in video form? Well, I’m glad that’s settled then.
When Youtube videos are youur only source of reliable information, you know your movement is f*cked.
i love the inexplicable bolding of ‘great hope and optimism’
but if alek novy shows up here with a bunch of boring words about internal mrm politics, that is on your head
True, the MRA’s would still want mom to do all of the physical work and take on all of the financial costs as well. Some of them remarry and expect the next wife to do all of the work, though. Either way, I don’t think many of them want to change diapers, attend parent-teacher conferences, break up sibling squabbles, or stay up all night with a feverish child. MRA’s want all of the benefits of parenthood with none of the responsibility.
And yet how often do MRAs prattle “women want equal rights but not equal responsibilities”. lol
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Irony
“For the moment I will pretend that AVfM is the only MRA site on the planet, because that would be the only thing that can keep me sane.”
So, Alex Novy knows that AVfM is stupid, yet wants to pretend otherwise just to continue his bullshit.
Is it any wonder MRAs aren’t taken seriously?