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An Anti-Valentine's Day message to all the Men Going Their Own Way

Even cats are discombobulated by the evil that is Valentine's Day

Today, on this terrible so-called holiday, devoted to hearts and flowers and men giving things to ladies that are on average more expensive than the things ladies give to men, statistically speaking, I would like to relay a few words of hope to all the brave and noble Men Going Their Own Way, from our friend Spidey on MGTOWforums.com. Yes, it is true that “Valentines day is nothing more then another day where women have their egos inflated.” But remember this:

For every one of you that stays single, there is some b**** out there spending valentines day alone unable to force you to waste time and money on her

Stay strong, fellas. Resist the lure of the evil ladies and their never ending hunger for diamonds and chocolate and your precious seed.

Today, fellas, take a few moments to silently relaxate. Here, author Ronald Chevalier (who couldn’t possibly be Jemaine Clement of Flight of the Conchords) illustrates how, without threatening your seed.

.

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lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

While we’re doing this, Valentine’s Day was yesterday for me. I had been single for exactly a year and a day. :

You can add “maybe your special person will ring you up at 6pm the day before and tell you zie’s just cheated on you in front of maybe half the people the two of you mutually know at a party and doesn’t really want to see you again ever, or at least for like a month or something” to the Reasons Celebrating St Valentine’s Day Is Awkward, I guess.

Cloudiah
Cloudiah
12 years ago

I am a woman, not into jewelry at all. More jewelry for the rest of you!

@katz
Mango sorbet is delicious. ALL WOMEN LOVE MANGO SORBET. Oh wait, that was another thread.
This is basically chocolate/orange pudding, and pretty easy to make:
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Chocolate-Orange-Pots-de-Creme-with-Candied-Orange-Peel-231610

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

I think some of my neighbors are still setting off their New Year’s Eve stash. Texas, y’all.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
12 years ago

Criminy! And I though this whole men going their own way was just sour grapes.

savagebeard
savagebeard
12 years ago

My boyfriend is taking me out to a probably expensive dinner at a mystery restaurant. Then we’re going home and I’m going to thoroughly fuck him up the butt. No metaphor, just some really good buttsex. Our celebration should be every MRA’s nightmare come true.

We’re actually having some fun with this expectation that Valentine’s Day is about him pleasing me. Psst, I think he likes it! Though you never know, maybe he’s been secretly posting on Reddit all day about how angry he is that he has to go through this.

red_locker
12 years ago

@johnnykaje

Oglaf is AMAZING. Been a while since I caught up, though.

/Is extremely late

/and pervy

red_locker
12 years ago

And THANKS SO MUCH FOR THAT CHOCOLATE ORANGE PUDDING THINGY RECIPE!

Now all I need is some liquer. And Oranges. And real chocolate (FUCK NESTLE).

Quackers
Quackers
12 years ago

hahaha…I knew these bitter jackoffs would be complaining about Valentine’s day. The Spearhead has a post too, surprise surprise.

I used to care about being single on V-day, now it’s not a big deal. I take part in festivities, if by festivities you mean posting love songs on facebook haha (actual good ones) also I can treat myself to some chocolate. I’d do the discount thing but it’s just not the same if you don’t eat it on the 14th XD

Also Batman loves me and loves you too! http://i.imgur.com/ZS39T.gif

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
12 years ago

Dani Alexis, I love the way your wedding plans sound. I’m low key like that, too. My husband and I eloped at Branson, MO. If I could do it over, I would choose Vegas, because it would have been awesome to have an Elvis impersonator as our wedding officiant. I could have celebrated our honeymoon at penny slots instead of seeing Jim Stafford and Yakov Smirnoff shows.

@Katz, If you want to make an orange dessert, make some orange Jello. You can fancy it up by putting fruit chunks in it.

Maya
Maya
12 years ago

[[[[[My boyfriend is taking me out to a probably expensive dinner at a mystery restaurant. Then we’re going home and I’m going to thoroughly fuck him up the butt. No metaphor, just some really good buttsex. Our celebration should be every MRA’s nightmare come true.

We’re actually having some fun with this expectation that Valentine’s Day is about him pleasing me. Psst, I think he likes it! Though you never know, maybe he’s been secretly posting on Reddit all day about how angry he is that he has to go through this.]]]]

XD

katz
12 years ago

FUCK NESTLE

Amen.

DYOR
DYOR
12 years ago

“So I’ll take your suggestion under consideration that we could then exchange steaks and blowjobs. I certainly do enjoy those things too!”

Are you an hermaphrodite Holly? If not, do you have penis envy?

“Also any time I suck a dude off I’m doing it for me.” 🙂

At least you’re honest Ozy, how much you wanna bet the men you are with are much happier than Holly’s man(s). Lol

I can’t wait until tomorrow because my sweet cupcake will cook me a steak and will not complain when giving her man what he likes. 🙂

viola
12 years ago

DYOR: I hate to break your worldview, but the way people whimper and gasp and buck their hips and beg you to keep going, yes, that, keep doing that, please…
Yeah. Blowjobs are pretty fucking awesome.

red_locker
12 years ago

…Who the hell is DYOR, anyway?

Quackers
Quackers
12 years ago

a very obvious troll .__.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

In MRA trolllandia, oral sex is only fun to recieve if the person giving isn’t enjoying it and is only doing it to make you happy.

I’m so happy that I don’t live there.

Pecunium
12 years ago

That’s condescending twice. One, a lot of them see you the same way, and for the same reason; they believe what they believe as sincerely as you don’t.

The second is that you are being appallingly christo-normative in that statement.

Pecunium
12 years ago

And I love this time of year because it’s when the most important words in the English Language are said…

Pitchers and catchers report.

ozymandias42
12 years ago

Why do all the boring trolls like me?

1) The correct term is “intersex.”
2) Holly is not envious, she has several perfectly good penises in a variety of colors and sizes.
3) I do not think it is a happiness competition. Rowdy is happy; my boys and girl are happy.
4) I don’t know about you, but I prefer my partners to be described by words like “ecstatic,” not words like “not complaining.”

Holly Pervocracy
12 years ago

The correct term is intersex, but to be clear, as far as I know I’m physically female. However, Ozy is correct, I have a wide variety of conveniently modular penises! I also have a penchant for referring to oral stimulation of my own organic parts as “blowjob.”

Also, in what universe does “I like blowjobs too!” translate to “I complain about giving blowjobs and my partner is unhappy?”

A VERY SAD UNIVERSE, that’s where.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

There seems to be a lot of imaginary girlfriends going on with our trolls. If you’re going to make them up, at least make them original.

katz
12 years ago

And then she giggled and asked to be spanked, one can only assume.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

The more I interact with sexist dudes, the more I think that they actively desire sexual partners who’re not having a good time. I think it’s the fact that if she WANTS to do it, you’re not making her do it, therefore it’s not a demonstration of power over her.

Holly Pervocracy
12 years ago

I think “DYOR” is “Do Your Own Research.”

As it turns out, I have done my own research, and it turns out that all research indicates that shared and consensual blowjobs, steaks, chocolates, and flowers are way better than ones given according to strict gender roles and enforced through passive-aggressive obligation.

It was very fun research. 🙂

And seriously, “Will not complain when giving her man what he likes?” Is this really the best hope you have for sex–that they don’t complain? I think CassandraSays has a point here: you’re afraid that if you had a partner who liked blowjobs instead of not hating them, you wouldn’t get that satisfying feeling of “she’s making herself uncomfortable and suppressing her objections on my behalf!”

…Apparently it’s satisfying. Personally, I prefer “he actually likes doing this,” but then again I’m not an insecure misogynist who likes having his Alpha Male status reinforced more than he actually likes sex.