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An Anti-Valentine's Day message to all the Men Going Their Own Way

Even cats are discombobulated by the evil that is Valentine's Day

Today, on this terrible so-called holiday, devoted to hearts and flowers and men giving things to ladies that are on average more expensive than the things ladies give to men, statistically speaking, I would like to relay a few words of hope to all the brave and noble Men Going Their Own Way, from our friend Spidey on MGTOWforums.com. Yes, it is true that “Valentines day is nothing more then another day where women have their egos inflated.” But remember this:

For every one of you that stays single, there is some b**** out there spending valentines day alone unable to force you to waste time and money on her

Stay strong, fellas. Resist the lure of the evil ladies and their never ending hunger for diamonds and chocolate and your precious seed.

Today, fellas, take a few moments to silently relaxate. Here, author Ronald Chevalier (who couldn’t possibly be Jemaine Clement of Flight of the Conchords) illustrates how, without threatening your seed.

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Dani Alexis
Dani Alexis
12 years ago

Engagement rings are a fine example. Ask a girl what is the difference between a diamond and a cubic zirconia and she will always answer “the cubic zirconia is cheap”, never mind the fact that a well made CZ looks exactly the same as a diamond, that is why professionals need special tools to tell them apart. A woman does not care that a CZ looks the same (or better) then a diamond, what she cares about is how much the person she “loves” is willing to suffer for her.

[TW: reference to child mutilation]

My answer to “what is the difference between a diamond and a cubic zirconia” would have been “about $5,000 and a Somali child’s hands,” but I’m snarky like that.

In the real world, I wouldn’t have a diamond engagement ring at all, except that my mother offered us the one she got from my father when they were married and that contains the diamond from my paternal grandmother’s wedding ring. Free (so much for The Fiance’s “suffering,” eh?), and more full of meaning than anything we would have purchased.

Were we buying one, CZ would be much more suited to my lifestyle: cheap, not likely to have resulted from anyone’s death, and easily replaced if I break it or drop it down a public drain.

My favorite earrings are a set of CZ studs I bought at the local big-box store on clearance. Not one person has yet to identify them as anything but diamonds, even the ones I’ve known who will only deign to wear actual diamonds themselves. Win!

Polliwog
Polliwog
12 years ago

But now it’s bugging me: what are the other two? December 26th and whenever comes after Easter?

I can’t speak for Kyn, but those are indeed when I celebrate it. (Although realistically, I usually get my post-Christmas discount chocolates a few days later.) The day after Easter has long been known as Discount Cadbury Egg Monday in my household. 🙂

filetofswedishfish
12 years ago

Sooo… I know how much they think we’re all lying liars. But, FiletofSweidshBoyfriend got me some rubbery LED strobing roses, and cheapo Palmers “chocolates” (the kind made with, what like cocoa butter and other stuff) from Dollar Tree. And then I planned, three weeks ago, to take him out to dinner on the 16th (to avoid prix fixe and crowds), to one of the best steakhouses in Madison, right on Capitol Square. I mean, like, $35-40 range for most entrees. I made the reservations last week, and have been slowly accumulating the stuff to have a nice Little Black Dress night, since I know he loves it when I dress up. Am I a man yet?

Kyn
Kyn
12 years ago

@Holly Pervocracy

Yep, day after Xmas and the day after Easter are the other half-off chocolate holidays (though shopping on the former is never worth it, and all the good candy tends to sell out before the latter). Xmas does have the best candy, though. Almond Roca. CANES.

No point in differentiating, really, since the candy tends to be remarkably similar. For example, there are Christmas and Hallowe’en Peeps, which seems like cheating somehow.

filetofswedishfish
12 years ago

Also seconding the dislike for diamonds! I’ve been saying for a few years now that I would like a pearl ring. I even have a pearl, I just need it mounted. Even new pearl rings are “cheap” in comparison to diamond ones, in the $200-600 range. Also, as a diamond alternative: Moissanite. It looks SO COOL. Sort of pricey though.

darksidecat
darksidecat
12 years ago

I hate valentines day, mostly because it means being surrounded by homages to normative cis hetero love for an entire week. I’m fine with love, but not with the single narrative of “romance” that generally is the sole narrative around valentine’s day.

Molly Ren
12 years ago

I’d like to report that, so far, no one at my office has received any flowers or teddy bears. Though someone did bring in heart shaped cookies for everyone yesterday.

ozymandias42
12 years ago

I vote that my being a ridiculous Valentine’s Day sap is actually SUBVERSIVE on account of the poly queer thing. I may sob about Pablo Neruda poetry and give people cards with a clear conscience!

LBT
LBT
12 years ago

V Day, in my opinion, is WAY better than Christmas. Christmas, I’ve spent the past few years just ducking my head and waiting for it to all be over. Used to love the holiday, but… well. Family issues make it hell. (Thank god I have Jewish/Buddhist/pagan/atheist friends to hang out with.)

Our V Day, on the other hand, isn’t exactly traditional either. My hubby’s all about the gooshy stuff, but unfortunately, he had some Deathly Things happen a good few years back on V Day, so the day often becomes one of mourning for him. He’s reached the point where we’ll go out to dinner for strawberry and chocolate chip pancakes, and I’ll give him lots of cuddles and extra support, but that’ll be all.

Course, we’re going out of town tomorrow (unrelated) so most of the day will be spent frantically packing. *snrk*

–LB

Shadow
Shadow
12 years ago

As a determinedly single guy Valentines day has always meant fuck-all to me, but now that i moved to Canada I absolutely love it because it provides me with those awesome Ferrero Rocher boxes and it’s one of the few times a year they come out with the coconut Rochers.

shaenon
12 years ago

My husband and I got married on Valentine’s Day just to be extra schmoopy and disgusting. We’re celebrating our eighth anniversary tonight with a quiet dinner at home. Now I’m off to get the cake and champagne.

Frankly, I’m a little disappointed by the MRAs. “Buying a girl flowers HURTS WORSE THAN CANCER and also P.S. WHORES” is so played out.

shaenon
12 years ago

Also, yeah, not cool with diamonds.

I’m generally pro-all-holidays, on the grounds that there’s never a bad time for a party.

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
12 years ago

It’s awesome to see all the other pro CZ, anti diamond comments! I bet that the MGTOW wouldn’t believe what me, Holly, Dani Alexis, filetofswedish, or shaenon said, though. They’ve probably seen an episode of Bridezillas where a spoiled woman demanded a million dollar diamond ring and think she represents all women. They also might believe that Marilyn Monroe’s song “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend” was written on behalf of all women. It doesn’t matter how much we say otherwise; as long as some women want diamonds, it means all women want diamonds.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
12 years ago

I like Valentine’s Day. It means free chocolate. ^_^ And I’m a dude…

It’s probably just the crowd I hang out with, but nobody around me gives much of a rat’s ass to the day’s “actual” meaning… We joke about singles awareness day and so forth, but it’s usually just a chance to eat a bunch of chocolate and watch really stupid (sometimes awesome) rom-coms.

I never had much interest in diamonds or jewelry, but sculptures I find interesting to look at (if not own). And with that much material, it ain’t gonna be diamond.

Rutee Katreya
12 years ago

Fuck diamonds, there’s non-conflict gemstones. Me and my girlfriend already agreed we will have none in our wedding accoutrements, when that comes in the distant future.

I despise Valentine’s day, and have actually made a point of not having any PDAs with her today. I’ve been a nerd all my life, and though I took valentine’s day reasonably well growing up, mostly, my monkeysphere almost always included amazingly depressed people on it. Chocolate is all well and good, but in my book, everyday is an equally appropriate day for chocolate. So yeah, the holiday can DIAF as far as I’m concerned. I’ll be sappy the rest of the year.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

Another who’s not into diamonds. My ring is an art deco sapphire set in the white gold with tow teeny tiny old world cut diamonds, but the filigree work in the gold is so ornate that I don’t think you could pay to have it done today, and sparkles like crazy.

All that for under $1000. Seriously, if you like antique jewelry and are in Seattle, go to Isadora’s.

katz
12 years ago

What’s a good dessert that’s orange (in flavor or color)?

Unremarkable lurker
Unremarkable lurker
12 years ago

malcontent, moving to Japan would solve nothing. Even if by some miracle someone decided to give them chocolate, they would just whine about having to buy something in return one month later.

Polliwog
Polliwog
12 years ago

What’s a good dessert that’s orange (in flavor or color)?

Crepes Suzette?

katz
12 years ago

I think I would fail at souffle (even if I had all the ingredients), but crepes suzette is tempting…

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
12 years ago

Mango sorbet?

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

@Katz

Is Cointreau a dessert? I sure hope it is.

Dani Alexis
Dani Alexis
12 years ago

They’ve probably seen an episode of Bridezillas where a spoiled woman demanded a million dollar diamond ring and think she represents all women

Well, we are the hivemind. >:)

Seriously, though, I bet they’d also be shocked to hear my wedding budget is “how little can we get away with?”, to the point that I’m already planning to buy a dress at Goodwill and alter as desired, and my 12 guests have been instructed to bring their own dinner plans. Being the center of attention of 500 of my closest friends in an overpriced confection of a dress is my personal definition of hell.

Dani Alexis
Dani Alexis
12 years ago

I’m shocked nobody has mentioned pumpkin pie. (Though I’d go for the mango sorbet, myself.)