Ladies are complicated! Happily, we fellas have Gobhoblin on the Men’s Rights subreddit to explain them to us. Turns out they are all one giant HIVE BORG MIND. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. RESISTANCE IS FUTRELLE!
EDITED TO ADD: Thanks to Ami Angelwings for pointing this quote out to me. I mean, thanks to all women.
I can settle the watermelon and tuna salad debate. We like them both!
And diet sodas taste weird, and root beer and sprite is ok once in a while, but, really, cranberry juice is best.
Hello fellow hivemind members, time to make our first decision of the day:
What are we having for breakfast?
We’re having coffee flavored ice cream because our throats are sore, that’s what we’re having.
Now, hellkell, if MRAs have taught us anything it’s that All Women love divorce!
Well, that proves that Jagermeister isn’t “divorce in a bottle.” Otherwise women would love it and men would hate it. 😛
Is there a drink that would be “alimony and child support in a bottle”? I’m guessing our hivemind would love that.
Peanut butter and strawberry jam on whole wheat toast. With a side of coffee flavored ice cream apparently.
All women love Punjab eggplant curry and other assorted Indian vegetarian dishes.
Women: can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em (because of the tubes they put in when they assimilate you).
All women love all Indian food, especially saag paneer.
We’re having Liberte coconut yogurt for breakfast. All women like yogurt.
Hey, all women just got out of class, and a question occurred to all of us:
How is it that one woman can break up with a man, and then he’ll start dating another woman who loves him, even though the ex still hates him?
This greatly confuses our hivemind.
There can be no genderqueer hivemind! Because there can be only ONE! XD
But I don’t like chopping off people’s heads, it seems rather unsanitary, perhaps we can just–
(Darksidecat chops off Ozy’s head)
Oops.
Three parts Bundaberg ginger beer should be combined one part bourbon, one part scotch, and one part rye to make the Sweet Delia, a traditional Alvis time beverage.
Truth to tell, I don’t know whether feminists have a “hive mind” or not, but the manboobzettes here all sound alike, except for the “Irene Meller” post, and she is probably a parody anyhow.
Even if there is no “hive mind”, the idea of a ‘ladyborg’ is an easy mistake to make!
Hey, all women just got out of class, and a question occurred to all of us:
How is it that one woman can break up with a man, and then he’ll start dating another woman who loves him, even though the ex still hates him?
This greatly confuses our hivemind.
Obviously, either all women secretly love him and the ex just broke up with him to mess with his head, or all women secretly hate him and the new woman is just using him for sperm/money/bonbons.
It all makes much more sense if you just remember the fundamental MRA belief that all women are deeply, deeply terrible, and never do things based on normal human motives when they could be doing things as part of an evil plot to destroy men.
Polliwog – That’s so plausible it makes me a little sad.
…Or would if I could experience human emotions!
This is absolutely true. Even all women who live where Liberte isn’t available. Poor sods.
Jeez, how do they come up with this twaddle?
Clearly, the best way to tautology is… to tautology
LIFE ADVICE FROM “ELONINE”
The best way to chop a mango is… to chop a mango…
The best way to teach a child to read is… to teach a child to read…
The best way to perform CPR is… to perform CPR…
The best way to write a love letter is… to write a love letter…
The best way to take down an assailant is… to take down an assailant…
The best way to replace your power supply is… to replace your power supply…
A 911 CALL WITH ELONINE
“Hello? Hello? There’s a fire and…”
“Ma’am, I need you to calm down by calming down.”
“Sorry, sorry, there’s a fire in the trash can and I don’t know what…”
“Ma’am the best way to put the fire out is to put the fire out.”
“I tried to use the fire extinguisher but it’s out of control and the fire department…”
“Ma’am, ma’am. Let me get this right. The trash can is on fire because it’s on fire and you couldn’t control it by controlling it, so it’s out of control?”
“What? Yes? Please send someone quick, when I…”
“Are you out of the building? The best way to leave the building is to leave the building…”
Kladle – Classic. 🙂
The sad thing is that Elonine’s advice is actually an improvement over PUA methods, in which the best way to attract women is to repel women.
The disconnect…it BURNS.
This whole “feminist hivemind” thing is such a catch-22. Because if we talk about how much we disagree with each other, then we’re a bunch of unpleasable bickering hens who will turn upon their own. But if we talk about solidarity between feminists, then we’re a hivemind.
Or we could talk about how we’re thinking human beings, but, well… the responses we get when we try to argue that are pretty much the whole reason we needed feminism in the first place.
Hey Meller, care to answer the questions you were asked elsethread?