Ladies are complicated! Happily, we fellas have Gobhoblin on the Men’s Rights subreddit to explain them to us. Turns out they are all one giant HIVE BORG MIND. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. RESISTANCE IS FUTRELLE!
EDITED TO ADD: Thanks to Ami Angelwings for pointing this quote out to me. I mean, thanks to all women.
All women lost my fucking can opener AND broke the other can opener. All women had better say thank you when I replace this shit.
Men are Individuals that are devoid of mob mentality, while Women are naturally part of an Hivemind.
That is why every time somebody dares to be a Feminist On The Internet, they get comment-bombed by a million geeky flying monkeys at once.
Wait what?
We think it’s okay, but that Diet Dr. Pepper is superior in every way. We also agree that watermelon is good as long as it’s not the seedless kind. Tuna salad, however, is not good because we hate mayonnaise. We also hate cornbread because we got sick once after eating that, and now associate it with the stomach flu. By the way, everyone else is wrong. All women ate a chef salad for lunch, with Kool Aid to drink.
Re: Artisanal soft drinks
As an Australian who’s had the pleasure of Bundaberg soft drinks being fairly widely available for quite some time, might I suggest that All Women might quite enjoy the sarsaparilla, though it’s actually closer to a more generic root beer taste than the sassafrass/sarsaparilla tase to my tastebuds?
I actually DID have a chef’s salad that I removed all the eggs from for lunch.
But I hate Dr. Pepper and all of its derivatives so we hate it now. And corn bread is too dry as well.
Al women also hate Jagermeister. That shit should be called “divorce in a bottle.”
We’re also not fond of cheap chocolate.
I think it’s ok that we ate different things at lunch, since we’re not a hive-stomach but a hive-mind. So for example, we must all like the same food. And agree on objective and permanent criteria of attractiveness for men: even if some of us don’t date the alphas, we must still acknowledge how great they are.
Oh, but cheap chocolate is great! Well, *was* great, I suppose. Burn the cheap chocolate!
@ polliwog: all women love coke zero which is not a diet drink despite having zero calories because it was made for men and is delicious
I can only imagine that, as it just takes a small group of women doing the same thing to be evidence of a hive mind, that men must all be completely different. I like clam chowder, therefore no other man is allowed to like clam chowder. ^_^
The creamy, thick kind anyway. Thinner chowder or the tomato-based stuff is still up for grabs.
We do like giant cookies for Single Awareness Day.
I AM LAURALOT OF THE BORG. FROM THIS TIME FORWARD, YOU WILL SERVICE US.
Giant cookies are ok pretty much any time.
Okay. So if men CAN’T like anything other men like, and women HAVE TO like everything other women like, do nonbinaries get to just like things?
All women used to enjoy chocolate of any variety until we found out about the slave labour involved, so now we only buy fair-trade chocolate, which is organic and delicious, and a little expensive.
If you identify as multiple genders you have to like everything, and if you identify as agender you have to like NOTHING.
Ozymandias, it’s pretty well established in MRA world that non-binary people a) are just confused b) don’t exist c) don’t count. So, actually, you don’t get to like anything.
Or, you know, what you said.
DDDDDDDDDX
I CAN SO BE ALLOWED TO LIKE THINGS
MOMMY TELL THE MEAN MRAS I’M ALLOWED TO LIKE THINGS
I am a vegetarian.
I am a woman.
Sorry, ladies, you can’t have meat anymore.
Also, all women don’t really care for pop at all, and drink a lot of water. All women remain fat anyway.
@Lauralot
😉
@Ozy
Silly Ozy. Nobody just likes things. We determine what we like by taking note of our gender and what other members of same think about things.
I’d set up a genderqueer hivemind if I were you. Bit easier than the male preferences as they currently stand.
And yes, that is misandric.
Since they do not involve actual meat, can we still eat bacon bits?
All women are nude models.
All women love Batman.
All women have an orange cat.
All women were Wonder Woman for Halloween.
All women have allergies and asthma.
All women are ginger.
Bacon bits are acceptable.