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crackpottery evil women I'm totally being sarcastic misogyny MRA oppressed men reddit the enigma that is ladies

Ladies are the Borg

Ladies are complicated! Happily, we fellas have Gobhoblin on the Men’s Rights subreddit to explain them to us. Turns out they are all one giant HIVE BORG MIND. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. RESISTANCE IS FUTRELLE!

 

EDITED TO ADD: Thanks to Ami Angelwings for pointing this quote out to me.  I mean, thanks to all women.

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Sarah
Sarah
9 years ago

I can settle the watermelon and tuna salad debate. We like them both!

And diet sodas taste weird, and root beer and sprite is ok once in a while, but, really, cranberry juice is best.

Jill the Spinster
Jill the Spinster
9 years ago

Hello fellow hivemind members, time to make our first decision of the day:

What are we having for breakfast?

Lauralot
Lauralot
9 years ago

We’re having coffee flavored ice cream because our throats are sore, that’s what we’re having.

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

Al women also hate Jagermeister. That shit should be called “divorce in a bottle.”

Now, hellkell, if MRAs have taught us anything it’s that All Women love divorce!

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

Well, that proves that Jagermeister isn’t “divorce in a bottle.” Otherwise women would love it and men would hate it. 😛

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
9 years ago

Is there a drink that would be “alimony and child support in a bottle”? I’m guessing our hivemind would love that.

cloudiah
cloudiah
9 years ago

Hello fellow hivemind members, time to make our first decision of the day:

What are we having for breakfast?

Peanut butter and strawberry jam on whole wheat toast. With a side of coffee flavored ice cream apparently.

Lady Zombie
Lady Zombie
9 years ago

All women love Punjab eggplant curry and other assorted Indian vegetarian dishes.

Moewicus
Moewicus
9 years ago

Women: can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em (because of the tubes they put in when they assimilate you).

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

All women love all Indian food, especially saag paneer.

We’re having Liberte coconut yogurt for breakfast. All women like yogurt.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Hey, all women just got out of class, and a question occurred to all of us:

How is it that one woman can break up with a man, and then he’ll start dating another woman who loves him, even though the ex still hates him?

This greatly confuses our hivemind.

darksidecat
9 years ago

There can be no genderqueer hivemind! Because there can be only ONE! XD

ozymandias42
ozymandias42
9 years ago

But I don’t like chopping off people’s heads, it seems rather unsanitary, perhaps we can just–

(Darksidecat chops off Ozy’s head)

Oops.

Fatman
Fatman
9 years ago

Three parts Bundaberg ginger beer should be combined one part bourbon, one part scotch, and one part rye to make the Sweet Delia, a traditional Alvis time beverage.

David K. Meller
David K. Meller
9 years ago

Truth to tell, I don’t know whether feminists have a “hive mind” or not, but the manboobzettes here all sound alike, except for the “Irene Meller” post, and she is probably a parody anyhow.

Even if there is no “hive mind”, the idea of a ‘ladyborg’ is an easy mistake to make!

Polliwog
Polliwog
9 years ago

Hey, all women just got out of class, and a question occurred to all of us:

How is it that one woman can break up with a man, and then he’ll start dating another woman who loves him, even though the ex still hates him?

This greatly confuses our hivemind.

Obviously, either all women secretly love him and the ex just broke up with him to mess with his head, or all women secretly hate him and the new woman is just using him for sperm/money/bonbons.

It all makes much more sense if you just remember the fundamental MRA belief that all women are deeply, deeply terrible, and never do things based on normal human motives when they could be doing things as part of an evil plot to destroy men.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Polliwog – That’s so plausible it makes me a little sad.

…Or would if I could experience human emotions!

FelixBC
FelixBC
9 years ago

All women love all Indian food, especially saag paneer.

We’re having Liberte coconut yogurt for breakfast. All women like yogurt.

This is absolutely true. Even all women who live where Liberte isn’t available. Poor sods.

SaruGoku
SaruGoku
9 years ago

Jeez, how do they come up with this twaddle?

kladle
kladle
9 years ago

The best way to be attractive to women is… to be attractive to women…

Clearly, the best way to tautology is… to tautology

kladle
kladle
9 years ago

LIFE ADVICE FROM “ELONINE”

The best way to chop a mango is… to chop a mango…
The best way to teach a child to read is… to teach a child to read…
The best way to perform CPR is… to perform CPR…
The best way to write a love letter is… to write a love letter…
The best way to take down an assailant is… to take down an assailant…
The best way to replace your power supply is… to replace your power supply…

A 911 CALL WITH ELONINE

“Hello? Hello? There’s a fire and…”
“Ma’am, I need you to calm down by calming down.”
“Sorry, sorry, there’s a fire in the trash can and I don’t know what…”
“Ma’am the best way to put the fire out is to put the fire out.”
“I tried to use the fire extinguisher but it’s out of control and the fire department…”
“Ma’am, ma’am. Let me get this right. The trash can is on fire because it’s on fire and you couldn’t control it by controlling it, so it’s out of control?”
“What? Yes? Please send someone quick, when I…”
“Are you out of the building? The best way to leave the building is to leave the building…”

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Kladle – Classic. 🙂

The sad thing is that Elonine’s advice is actually an improvement over PUA methods, in which the best way to attract women is to repel women.

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth

Truth to tell, I don’t know whether feminists have a “hive mind” or not, but the manboobzettes here all sound alike, except for the “Irene Meller” post, and she is probably a parody anyhow.

The disconnect…it BURNS.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

This whole “feminist hivemind” thing is such a catch-22. Because if we talk about how much we disagree with each other, then we’re a bunch of unpleasable bickering hens who will turn upon their own. But if we talk about solidarity between feminists, then we’re a hivemind.

Or we could talk about how we’re thinking human beings, but, well… the responses we get when we try to argue that are pretty much the whole reason we needed feminism in the first place.

Pecunium
9 years ago

Hey Meller, care to answer the questions you were asked elsethread?

belledame222
9 years ago

FREE EVAN!

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

@FelixBC: do they put crack in that yogurt or what? All women must love it, because sometimes it’s sold out at the HEB, and then all women are sad.

Anathema
Anathema
9 years ago

Truth to tell, I don’t know whether feminists have a “hive mind” or not, but the manboobzettes here all sound alike, except for the “Irene Meller” post, and she is probably a parody anyhow.

Yeah. I rather expect you do. Really, Meller, I’m not in the least surprised that you think that all of the regular commenters here sound alike. That’s because you don’t pay attention to what they write.

This might be the first time I’ve actually posted a comment on Manboobz, but I’ve been lurking here for a while. And I certainly don’t think that the regular commenters here all sound alike.

I’m always amused when idiots go after feminism as if it were a completely monolithic movement where all feminists blindly and unquestioningly followed the dictates of the hive mind. Because, you know, it’s not like feminists have ever had a major disagreements about something, like pornography for example.

But when dealing with people who see both sex-positive feminists and Andrea Dworkin (or rather, their own distorted caricature of Andrea Dworkin) as part of the same hive mind, I suppose it’s really too much to expect them to understand any sort of nuance.

Dracula
Dracula
9 years ago

And now I want some yoghurt.

Dani Alexis
Dani Alexis
9 years ago

I have no idea what we’re having for breakfast, but we are totally having fried squid and fried rice for dinner, because that is what our hive-fiance offered to make and he is a way better cook than the entire female hivemind combined.

Oh, did I mention he’s my fiance now? HE PROPOSED IN A BOOKSTORE. I love this man!

Dani Alexis
Dani Alexis
9 years ago

And Ben & Jerry’s Jimmy Fallon’s Late Night Snack for dessert, because the female hivemind agrees that Jimmy Fallon’s ice cream is way more delicious than Stephen Colbert’s ice cream, even though Colbert is funnier than Fallon.

Magnesium
Magnesium
9 years ago

You know, I’ve often joked that the fellas at Reddit believe that women share one giant lady brain, but to see someone say it unironically still makes me shake my head in disappointment.

Bostonian
9 years ago

“Truth to tell, I don’t know whether feminists have a “hive mind” or not, but the manboobzettes here all sound alike, except for the “Irene Meller” post, and she is probably a parody anyhow.

Even if there is no “hive mind”, the idea of a ‘ladyborg’ is an easy mistake to make!”

This is because you are a moron who cannot read.

Well at least you cannot read anything but Gor novels, apparently.

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth

YES PUGS ARE THE BESTEST DOGS EVAR.

ersatzmoons
ersatzmoons
9 years ago

PfkaElizabeth, with such a declaration I deduce that you must be a woman.

Ullere
Ullere
9 years ago

‘The fundamental defect of the female character is a lack of a sense of justice’

‘they inherently have a lesser sense of individual justice then men do’

hello Schopenhauer…

Integral
Integral
9 years ago

Our hivecat keeps trying to sit on our hiveface. WTF, hivecat.

Joanna
9 years ago

Wow! I’m learning so much about women today! Thanks MRAs!

DM
DM
9 years ago

Oh man. Guys, now you have me imagining a dystopian world were all of Meller’s cyber cuties develop a hive mind and rise up, aggressivly re-decorating the world to be fluffy, lacy, and pink.

WE ARE THE LADY LOVELIES. YOU WILL BE ACCESSORIZED. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth

Nah, I am actually a toadstool Ersatzmoons

Polliwog
Polliwog
9 years ago

YES PUGS ARE THE BESTEST DOGS EVAR.

Don’t be silly. All women agree that my dog, who is a mutt, is the best dog ever.

All women concede that pugs are super-adorable too, though.

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

My hive-cat kept trying to steal the paperwork as I was doing the hive-taxes! Yes, the borg handles the $MONEY$ in this house! All the monies are the hive’s!

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

Why is it that DKM makes a habit of stating his inability to from an opinion on a subject immediately before stating his opinion on the same subject? It’s like he’s trying to have his cake and simultaneously tell everyone he doesn’t have cake…

ithiliana
9 years ago

All women are loving this hivegasm and think that next Brandon appears with his “most men” all women should bombard him with statements about all women.

ithiliana
9 years ago

Next TIME.

Though since all women share a hivemind, all women need not worry about syntax, grammar, or clarity since we all know what we are thinking.

Hmmmmm, do we suppose that explains the terrible writing style of the MRAhiveminds?

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Kirby – Plus, the subject in question is “hmm, do all women everywhere think exactly the same things?”

I feel like most small children and certain housepets can form a confident answer to that question.

Dracula
Dracula
9 years ago

It’s just another attempt by Meller to play the “My superior man-brain can’t understand your silly little lady-brains.” game.

He consistently fails to realize this has no effect but to show him for the pompous dimwit he is.

Joanna
9 years ago

We are the anti-fluffy borg!