Ladies are complicated! Happily, we fellas have Gobhoblin on the Men’s Rights subreddit to explain them to us. Turns out they are all one giant HIVE BORG MIND. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. RESISTANCE IS FUTRELLE!
EDITED TO ADD: Thanks to Ami Angelwings for pointing this quote out to me. I mean, thanks to all women.
Do we like cranberry crisps, cream cheese and red pepper jelly? Because I think that’s the only thing in my house beyond some pickled veggies, and I’d really like to eat it if that’s something we do.
We also all like tunafish sandwiches, which we made ourselves for ourselves thangyouverramuch, at least those we’re able to wrest from the three cats who think they ought to get ALL the tunafish sandwiches.
I made chili this weekend. Does that count as a soup, or do I need to be reprogrammed?
Maybe we actually are a hive mind, because I definitely have tuna, tuna fixins and bread and your lunch sounds pretty delicious, ithiliana.
Can someone call the SPCA on Men’s Rights sub-reddit? They’ve beat that poor, dead horse until nothing but DERP! remains.
No you know why women are always changing their mind: they only have one for 3.5 billions people.
If we are the Borg, I want to be Seven of Nine. All male feminists can also be added to our collective consciousness, too. We decided that.
We love watermelon and hate tuna.
All women really hate beets. They taste like dirt! (I was wondering why I was out in the street, beating my gloppy vegetarian stew. When I came back in and read this blog, all was explained.)
p.s. I wonder if we’re eusocial, like honey bees? If so, WHO IS OUR MOTHER? David?!?!?!
We love watermelon and hate tuna.
Untrue! All women were briefly confused, but then we remembered that tuna melts are delicious and watermelon is icky.
Of course, all women are currently on a new diet thanks to health problems, so all women probably aren’t likely to eat either one anytime soon. All women are somewhat grumpy about this.
Incidentally, all women really wish they liked diet soda pop better, because, among other changes, all women are supposed to be cutting back sharply on their sugar intake for a while, and all women are really craving a root beer right now.
Of course we hate tuna! All women are vegetarian. And gluten-intolerant, sorry.
What I got out of this was:
Generalizing women = not misogynistic.
Generalizing men = MISANDRY ALERT! AHHHHHH!
Have all women tried Boylan Bottleworks Diet Root Beer? Berghoff’s? Bundaberg? Some of those artisanal diet pops are pretty good.
All women love cheese and crackers (especially those 34 degree crackers, yum), and despise lima beans.
Do we hate eggs? Eggs are horrible.
We only hate eggs when we’re hungover.
But since you don’t drink, we can go ahead and hate eggs. But we all love lasagna.
Have all women tried Boylan Bottleworks Diet Root Beer? Berghoff’s? Bundaberg? Some of those artisanal diet pops are pretty good.
All women are googling those now to see if they are sold anywhere near where all women live. 🙂
Wait, “women have an inherently lesser sense of individual justice than men”, as demonstrated by the fact that men are individualized, and women are a monolithic hivemind?
…shit, I am going to be picking bits of my poor tautology detector out of the drywall for WEEKS. Bloody MRAs.
p.s. I love Bundaberg but I resent the fact that Australians apparently think it’s amusing to export booby-trapped ginger ale: I have laid my thumbs open on those Christbitten bottle tops more times than I can count. Arguably this might happen less if I stopped putting so much rum in it.
It would explain why women judges tend to be more evenhanded in handing out punishments to women and men Kyn.
Also, I like diet Wild Cherry Pepsi, is that something the hive mind is okay with?
Though, as I am not a woman, my poor lacerated thumbs are not the thumbs of all women, I hasten to add.
Hey, does anybody know where we put our can openers?
Check the drawer next to the one next to the wall where the flatware is.
This is why men are confused. The Fem-hive-mind keeps changing its mind every 3 seconds.
Just tell us Superior, Logical, Free-thinking, Nice Guys™ how to get into your pants!*
*Unless you’re a fattie, whore-slut, gold-digging, ball-busting prude who uses MENZ for their semen and $MONEY$
Viscaria, I haven’t seen them since the move.