Ladies, your time is up! The sexy robogals are here! Prepare for the end of feminism and the eventual elimination of all women, with the possible exception of some of the really hot ones, so long as they don’t have too many opinions of their own.
Now that I’ve got your attention I should point out that the sexy Robogals aren’t quite here yet. The not-quite-Robogals currently available, as we’ve seen, are a lot more scary than sexy.
But one dude has a much simpler and less horrifying solution: he’s invented a doohickey that will allow horny penis-having people to attach a Fleshlight to their iPads, so they can pretend to be having some sort of sexual relations with images of actual sexy ladies (or sexy anything else, for that matter) on their iPads.
Read more at The Register, which also has a photo of the doohickey at work. (Dude fucking it not pictured.) I really didn’t feel like having that picture here, hence the gif of Maru the cat with his head in a bag.
Like Valerie I’ve also got a bit of a thing for Data, it’s nice to find somewhere where I can admit that
And nothing against fleshlights but have these guys got no imagination at all? Do they not have the ability to see naked ladies in their head
I’m pretty sure that exists.
Seriously. People: you’re supposed to masturbate while looking at your computer screen, not by fucking something attached to it!
@David
Fair enough. Anything that keeps the MRAs well away from actual women constitutes a public service.
I see shmorky.com doesn’t allow hotlinking, so here’s the awful fleshlight ad, nsfw.
It’s not important, but it helps illustrate why sex toys for men have a bad reputation.
The high-level MRAs like Mellertoad and AntZ know about this all too well, and they are JEALOUS as fuck. That’s why they fantasize about artificial wombs, lol. I see a flaw in their dream planz: where are they going to get the eggs? Some evil woman will have to supply them! So how is the woman-free future going to work out?? Will they have to ‘farm’ female babies just for their eggs? *shudder* It’s all so freaking horrible, but that’s the inhuman future they want to live in.
my stupid link still didn’t work, HERE [NSFW] http://i.imgur.com/Maet1.gif
All I can think of is, I’ll never buy refurbished electronics again.
The great thing about a fleshight is that you can stick a dildo into it, and then you’ve replaced both people! It’s sex without any interpersonal problems at all!
Except for the interpersonal problems caused when you tell someone you sit around making your dildo fuck your fleshlight.
@Xardoz:
“This pussy never says no!”
Ugh. Yeah that was pretty bad.
Masturbation is a great way to kill some time, and I encourage everyone to have their fun with it. But really, one of its great joys is that it’s different than partner sex; adds variety. The attempts to collapse the difference are perplexing to me. I’m glad, for instance, that as more women get into the sex toy designing business, dildos are actually looking less like penises. Not because I don’t like penises (*cough*), but because I’ve always thought, whilst looking at realistically penis-looking dildos, that they aren’t fooling anyone.
Which is to say, I agree with you Holly, but I never completely understood the attempts to get a facsimile of partner sex. Do people really have such poor imaginations? I guess some do.
Well, I’ve seen some videos of guys jerking off using a clear fleshlight. You can see *everything* that’s happening, and personally I found that pretty hot. Maybe I could hold the fleshlight for him? 😀
Also, I can see how this would be handy if one partner was into penetration, and the other partner wasn’t really into penetrative sex. You could do something kinky together, then watch while he came into it as a finale?
Holly said: “I have sex with lifeless disembodied male parts”
I’m confused, what makes them ‘male’?
“That’s why they fantasize about artificial wombs, lol. I see a flaw in their dream planz: where are they going to get the eggs?”
Using an adaptation of this technology, one would assume: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/8682142/Stem-cells-used-to-make-artificial-sperm.html
They’re not the only ones who ‘fantasize about artificial wombs’ either – lots of trans women and wombless women do too.
Some people want a dildo that simulates a penis for whatever reason. A lot of times it is because they find their masturbation to be psychologically “hotter” if it mimics some aspect of partnered sex or if it reminds them of some particular person’s penis. There’s a big difference between trying to remember a disembodied dick in your head and actually feeling one. It’s a similar reason to why the fleshlight comes in anus/vagina/mouth openings; it’s not to replace imagination but to enhance it in certain ways by making certain aspects of the fantasy come to life.
Also, some people really just like penis-related partner sex that much and that’s their primary masturbation fantasy. I would suppose that’s actually very common & hence the popularity of penis dildos.
There’s also the fact that a lot of penis dildos come in impossible or difficult to find sizes for real dicks, which is useful for both solo and partnered activity. Realistic dildos are also good for various kinds of gender play (again, solo and partnered)– if you don’t have a cock, or hell, if you just want five or something, it might be important to you to simulate a “real” one as closely as possible to complete the fantasy. The company that makes the Feeldoe finally released a realistic penis-like one after ages because people asked for it.
FWIW, I’ve found that I can’t keep all the complicated aspects of a scenario-related sexual fantasy in my mind at once, and if I try it feels “dead” and artificial. When I do fantasize (which I didn’t, for nearly 10 years or so, and still don’t that often) I often fixate on very simple things like one body part or touch or something. It’d be nice to have a penis dildo around because in some sense I really do have such a “poor imagination” and being able to look at it, touch it, use it, etc. would enhance things on the occasions I am thinking about dicks.
@Molly Ren- oh my God your suggestion about using a fleshlight during sex with partners who are not super into penetration is GENIUS. I’m going to start suggesting it as an alternative to sexlessness on all of those threads about women suffering from pain on penetration, who are not super fond of penetrative sex as a result.
Me too. I think it’s because of the episode where Data and Tasha Yar got it on. He mentioned being “programmed in several techniques”. The Borg queen seduced him in First Contact. He also had a girlfriend once, but he wasn’t that romantic.
I, like others, am imagining those awkward conversations at the Apple Store:
“Sorry, the warranty doesn’t cover … well, whatever it is you’ve done to this poor iPad.”
Don’t get me wrong–I love my iPad and take it everywhere with me. It’s totally changed my life. I just don’t want to fuck it.
A friend had me see a video about a guy who had a bajillion sex dolls, and the guy on the video went on about how a sex doll will never cheat on you–not like a REAL woman. I’ve never seen a video about a woman with a collection of 50 dildos say something like that about men.
The “men replace, women supplement” idea probably contributes to the idea that men who have sex toys are losers while women aren’t. Look at our trolls–they assume women can get laid no matter what, no matter when. So a sex toy is just for when she’s not being pounded by some Alpha dickhead. But a guy’s fleshlight? Well, that means he’s some Beta or Omega loser who isn’t rich and hot enough to get real pussy. Therefore, deride! Deride away!
**not trying to imply that most people believe in the alpha-omega bs, but the same SORT of idea applies when we talk about actual non-troll people
Well not having piv sex doesn’t make you sexless. I don’t see why the only alternative to not having piv would be sexlessness.
I can certainly think of uses for a fleshlight or similar in partnered sex, especially since one of the people I regularly fuck doesn’t orgasm easily.
Hooking it up to a iPad baffles me, though. How would the angles work? Wouldn’t you get fingerprints on the screen? And it’s not as if it’s a convincing simulation of partnered sex.
Cuz heteronormativity? : /
Question about the NWO dude with the leather cuffs around the wrist. He looks like a “Submissive Bottom” dude on collarchat.com
http://www.collarchat.com/searchpro.asp?author=naughtynick81
http://www.collarme.com/details.asp?px=naughtynick81
“feminists only seem to want equality when it suits them. Not under the circumstance of equality in every way of life 24/7. Equality basically means equality, 24/7 365 days a year.” – naughtynick81
“A little about me? I love being an asshole to dominant women and making their teeth grind. Bring it on bitch!”
I swear folks the dude was on plenty of fish under Nick. He was in the women Ask a woman advise forums blabbering about how men shouldn’t pay for dinners. Most men would hear that and tell him to piss off , they don’t need some angry white boy telling them what the fuck to do with their romance lives.
@bobbyjo
well naughtynick81 does bring up NWO’s usual crap about shaming male sexuality, but even he writes a bit more coherently, and the tone is a little bit different than NWO’s. Also if I may play armchair psychologist, NWO seems to have very repressed sexuality and sexuality is dirty to him, so I doubt he’d label himself a sub. Also naughtynick81 seems to know exactly what he wants sexually too. NWO complains about slutty 8 year olds in bikinis on the beach.
I don’t think its NWO, but it may very well be some other random MRA who also happens to be a sub.
I really want to see a dude come inside a clear Fleshlight now.
(puts on Life List)
Personally, I find one of the great advantages of being FAAB the fact that I can have a sparkly lavender penis if I want it to.
Ozymandias: Customisible cocks are enormous fun.
Poor imagination? Well that might be one reason. Or it could be that the person has gone a few years without a partner and they’ve lost the tactile memory to complete their fantasy.
Fantasy requires being able to recall a variety of stimuli. So if you’re a very visual person, imagining what the fantasy scene looks like, but will you remember what it feels like enough to be a turn on? How about what your partner sounds like? Smells? Having toys that look and feel like the real thing frees up brainpower to concentrate on other details and senses that the person isn’t quite so attuned to or able to easily recall.