Ladies, your time is up! The sexy robogals are here! Prepare for the end of feminism and the eventual elimination of all women, with the possible exception of some of the really hot ones, so long as they don’t have too many opinions of their own.
Now that I’ve got your attention I should point out that the sexy Robogals aren’t quite here yet. The not-quite-Robogals currently available, as we’ve seen, are a lot more scary than sexy.
But one dude has a much simpler and less horrifying solution: he’s invented a doohickey that will allow horny penis-having people to attach a Fleshlight to their iPads, so they can pretend to be having some sort of sexual relations with images of actual sexy ladies (or sexy anything else, for that matter) on their iPads.
Read more at The Register, which also has a photo of the doohickey at work. (Dude fucking it not pictured.) I really didn’t feel like having that picture here, hence the gif of Maru the cat with his head in a bag.
“It extends beyond that, though. Like MRAL is so convinced that feminists are hypocritical and devoted to making him miserable that he keeps going “yeah well I have preferences too! so there! what do you say to that?”. It’s really weird. Why do they think that we care what they do with their imaginations and/or penises as long as they’re not forcing us to be involved?”
It has a strange aspect of narcissism, doesn’t it? We can go on all the live-long day saying we don’t care what they do, that they’re allowed to do as they please, and they’ll STILL probably treat it as some kind of point of confrontation.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Giving a crap is hard work. I’m not going to spend all that hard work on random guys who are, at the heart of it, totally inconsequential to me. Then again, this goes for random women, children, and houseplants too. I have my relatively small circle of people I give a damn about and beyond that? I try not to worry too much.
Actually giving a crap about MRAL or any other MRA cuts into valuable knitting time.
This is almost as surreal as that one MRA’s ideas of a pussy fountain.
Actually, no. Nothing comes close to that.
@ Naira
Is there anything that a woman can say that a sufficiently misogynistic dude can’t use as the basis to start an argument? If so we’ve yet to find it. Most MRAs could start a screaming fight over “please pass the salt” or “would you like some more potatoes?”.
Most MRAs could start a screaming fight over “please pass the salt” or “would you like some more potatoes?”.
Potatoes are a feminist plot. (DON’T ASK ME HOW! CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY WITH IMPORTANT MAND00D STUFF?!?) As for passing you the salt, well…you know the laydeez, always with the demands, amirite?
“Please pass the salt” = Women are taking away our salaries by demanding equal pay!
“Would you like some more potatoes” = When we have more potatoes you will accuse us of potato privilege! There’s no such thing as potatoarchy!
>>I’ll be honest and say I never really “got” sex toys, for either men or women. Do they really up the ante in masturbation sessions?
Let’s just say you can pry my Aneros from my cold, dead… err, I’d complete that thought but it’s a bit nasty.
Sex toys are to sex as a sous-vide machine is to cuisine. Sure, we’ve spent thousands of year having perfectly adequate sex or food without them, but if you can add them to your repertoire every once in a while you’ll be really happy about it.
I know all my lady friends are happy when I bring the Magic Wand over.
Men invented salt. We hunted the mammoth so that women could stay at home and eat potato bon-bons.
Dan Savage did an interesting bit on this. Sex toys for women have gotten pretty socially acceptable — heck, I’ve had girlfriends bust out their newest purchases to show off to me — but for a man to own a sex toy is still seen as pretty skeevy.
I look forward to the MRM taking this up their next crusade.
I swear I saw a documentary like 15 years ago about people developing tech for virtual sex. It involved a rubber suit with inflatable bladders all over, so that under computer command they’d inflate and deflate and give the wearer the sensation of pressure, like a hand moving over them or something. There were VR goggles. It showed a person in the suit, all wired up and connected to huge banks of computers. It was very strange.
They hadn’t developed it yet, but they were talking about they could maybe use an inflatable dildo for a suit for somebody who wanted penetration.
BTW what happened to all our regular trolls? Did they stop pestering us because they realized they couldn’t win?
I think they all got banned, Boggi. Though NWOslave hasn’t been around for a while…
The “creep shaming” argument that I really do support and get behind is the “fleshlight pathetic, moreso than vibrator” thing. I definitely see that as a cultural problem. (Though female masturbation isn’t the most amazingly positively viewed thing in the universe either, like mra’s twisting that argument like to pretend) Men sex toys are cool by me.
Though on the other hand, men’s regular hand-using masturbation is seen as way more culturally acceptable.
So, toys for women are more acceptable, wanking one out with your bare hand for men more acceptable.
That needs analysis, mayhaps.
Which doesn’t mean we shouldn’t laugh at all sex toys.
Cause sex toys are funny.
And yeah, if anybody, man or woman is talking about how much better they are than real people, who had better watch out, well yeah, that’s some creepin.
I think it plays into the idea of male sexuality being simple and natural while female sexuality is weird and impossibly complicated…
“The “creep shaming” argument that I really do support and get behind is the “fleshlight pathetic, moreso than vibrator” thing. I definitely see that as a cultural problem.”
Hmm. You know it might be because if a woman brings a toy to the sack with her man, it is seen as sexy and fun. But what if you were in bed with a man and he brought his fleshlight? How would that work, and why?
Well, women OBVIOUSLY need something to go inside our vaginas because that’s the only way we can actually feel pleasure. There’s clearly no point messing around with this mythical clitoral glans, which we are totally making up anyway just to make our male lovers feel inadequate when they can’t find it. We can’t possibly masturbate without a substitute penis.
Or maybe the idea that PIV is the only enjoyable sex, and while someone with a penis could imitate that with their hand, someone with a vagina would require a penis-like object to penetrate?
In any case, I agree that it’s deeply unfair that men using sex toys is considered so taboo. Women in sexual relationships are often expected to have sex toys. Men who use sex toys are assumed to be totally incapable of finding a partner for sex.
Unimaginative put it better!
http://www.scarysextoyfriday.com/
MRAs have already incorporated this into their crusade. I see a thread on /mensrights (and Reddit’s “humor” boards) every week about the TERRIBLE INJUSTICE of this double standard. I hope they realize feminists are on their side here. Women are dildo-shamed too, and I think we all want to have the rights to masturbate freely. Traditional (Patriarchal, you might say) notions that it’s not “manly” to use sex toys are the problem here.
Another reason for the double standard is because “Fleshlight” has become the “Xerox” of male sex toys in the English speaking world. The name is a bad pun, the flashlight camouflage is not fooling anyone, and it’s marketing campaign was rape-y — IT NEVER SAYS NO (I still like this artist, I’m sure he needed the paycheck). Fleshlights helped create the image that sex toys for men are childish, shameful, and used by jerks.
The market needs to be taken over by the more stylish and tasteful tenga brand.
The “IT NEVER SAYS NO” link is NSFW, by the way!
To be fair, I’ve found it possible but fairly difficult to get off with just my hand — I do so like the vibration — whereas I’ve never met a guy who wasn’t fine with just his hand, plus some lotion, maybe. So perhaps the idea is that masturbation devices for penises are more advanced, and are for people who are simply more into masturbation than the average person with a penis. (Of course, there’s no reason why “being really into masturbation” needs to be shameful; I’m simply trying to think about where some of the difference is coming from.)
I think the creep factor in a sex toy like this is that it’s not just the genitalia but it’s a now added a limbless, headless female torso. Call me a misandrist or whatever, I think its gross and I’d think the same if it was a headless, limbless male torso with a cock attached.
Whatever though, if it keeps misogynistic lunatics away from real women, I’m all for it.
Also to be honest, I think it would be much more..err…appealing if robotics and AI got to the point where they could make lifelike robos for lonely men and women like me who are 10 pounds overweight and over the age of 21 therefore doooooomed to be a cat lady because of it. So yeah. It’s not so much that I have a problem with AI sexbots (preferably if they pass the uncanny valley), it’s just when creeps like Meller and other MRAs get off on some sick fantasy of killing off all women because all men will turn to sex with AI. Hey Mellertoad and all other AI MRA enthusiasts? what makes you think there wont be a market for male AI or that women can’t just go to a sperm bank and reproduce without a man?
I know I’ve posted it before but…never mind the name, it’s pretty tame xD http://glossynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/robot-sex.jpg
This may make things a bit more interesting for the employees behind the counter at the Apple stores. Maybe they should start keeping a box of gloves around.
Tenga Eggs (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_i6kWbdTvjk) are like $5 apiece and they look like you can just go to town on them. This awkward wad of latex and tablet-cover is just going to force Apple techs to find ways to tactfully explain that the standard warranty doesn’t cover any of the infinite ways a man could fuck his iPad to death. “Would you be interested in our extended plan? For an extra $100 it will cover cracked screens and we ask no questions about anything we find when we open it up.”
The stigma about male sex toys is mostly due to the idea that if you were getting any, you would not be masturbating. Which is fucking bullshit. I like watching movies with friends, but I like watching a movie by myself, and I don’t think of it as “well if I was better at making friends I would be always watching movies with friends”. Sometimes you just want the ‘me time’.
In any case, the way most PUAs and MRAs act, sex for them is just masturbation with another human being. The whole point of masturbation is that it’s okay to be a selfish lover in that case. It’s all about pleasing yourself. But if that’s also all you’re doing even with a partner, well… I can see why you wouldn’t need masturbation.
Call me a geek, but I’m a bit worried about the iPad being broken. And I don’t understand the point: if you put some porn on the screen, it will definitely not look like a humanoid. And if you put a still image of a torso like on the picture, how is that better than a doll?