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There’s an app for that! By “that” I mean “penis.” And by “app” I mean a doohickey to attach a Fleshlight to your iPad.

Maru the cat wants none of this.

Ladies, your time is up! The sexy robogals are here! Prepare for the end of feminism and the eventual elimination of all women, with the possible exception of some of the really hot ones, so long as they don’t have too many opinions of their own.

Now that I’ve got your attention I should point out that the sexy Robogals aren’t quite here yet. The not-quite-Robogals currently available, as we’ve seen, are a lot more scary than sexy.

But one dude has a much simpler and less horrifying solution: he’s invented a doohickey that will allow horny penis-having people to attach a Fleshlight to their iPads, so they can pretend to be having some sort of sexual relations with images of actual sexy ladies (or sexy anything else, for that matter) on their iPads.

Read more at The Register, which also has a photo of the doohickey at work. (Dude fucking it not pictured.) I really didn’t feel like having that picture here, hence the gif of Maru the cat with his head in a bag.

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CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Yep, that was pretty much what I said about Brand that set off MRALs meltdown of the week. Which is why he really needs to explain whether he considers such statements equally offensive coming from men, and if not, why not? Watching him try will be amusing for the rest of us, and attempting to put his reasoning into words might do him some good.

Aurora Borealis
Aurora Borealis
12 years ago

I’m bad at judging oxygen-composed women, but I think she’s quite pretty. 🙂

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
12 years ago

>>Funny, you’d think MRAL would like Saw. Maybe the proportion of women brutally killed compared to men isn’t high enough for his liking?

I find it more funny the way he claims the series is ‘whoring out’, since that seems to imply he liked the first Saw movie better than the later sequelfests. Of all the torture porn genre, the first Saw is the one movie that is *least* into the whole ‘eroticizing the killing of women’. The worst you can say about it is that women are quasi inexistent in that movie. The sequels are a bit more problematic on that regard (women actually have a variety of roles and I think they even pass the Bechdel test, though a few kills are eroticized up), but it’s still miles ahead movies like Hostel or Captivity that revelled in misogynistic erotic torture porn.

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
12 years ago

The BDSM community has some issues in many places because for many the term ‘safe’ in ‘safe, sane, consensual’ seems to only apply to vetting people based on skills and security procedures during play rather than vetting people based on keeping the community as safe place for women, particularly subs (but dommes have their own issues, the number of times I’ve seen drama occur because of doms who consider dommes to be poseurs, or who think the hierarchy is male dom > female dom > subs…). As well as men, but to be fair, even male subs are generally better treated than dommes in the scene, and they rarely have to fear for their safety. It wouldn’t hurt either to make the spaces safer for gays, bisexuals, transexuals, outside of the specifically gay kink scene.

We might need to start our own explicitly feminist safe spaces in the kink community, and damn the consequences and drama that will follow. Too many people are too afraid of saying to other people that their kinks are NOT okay when they start to interfere with the enjoyment of others, and too many people prefer to cather to those with useful skills to teach even if they are poisonous to the community because of their attitudes and the way they treat others.

Scar
Scar
12 years ago

“It wouldn’t hurt either to make the spaces safer for gays, bisexuals, transexuals, outside of the specifically gay kink scene.”

See this is why I’ve never been interested in engaging in BDSM as a trans person; the immediate tokenisation and fetishisation of my person is really off-putting. I would love to play the role of Domme with male subs (I think I’d be fricking ACE at it) but I worry that I wouldn’t be being seen as a Domme; rather I’d be seen as a Dom who is superduper kink because ‘he’ removed ‘his’ penis.
Obviously the more you examine it, the more problematic it becomes, which is why I’d never Out myself as trans.
which is stupid, because you’d think that it would be the one place where it *would* be safe to be openly trans.
Sigh.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
12 years ago

I don’t know why you’re making the really wild assumption that I’m interested in “eroticizing the killing of women”. I’m not. I don’t think that really happens much in the first place- another area I disagree with feminists- but if it did, I wouldn’t be consuming that material. And no, I’m not interested in the torture porn shit. Well, unless it’s done well. The first Saw was mildly effective. Hostel was all right. That’s really all I can think of, the genre doesn’t tend to attract the Scorseses of the world.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
12 years ago

BlockBloc- Interesting how when females are not killed in a torture porn movie, it’s an injustice because they’re “nonexistent”, but when they are, it’s an injustice because it’s “eroticization”. No matter what, it’s all about females, females, females. No one even notices the mandeaths- which happen far more often in the horror genre- yet another example of male disposability.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
12 years ago

I really don’t know what I did to be put on moderation “indefinitely”, especially when you let people like NWOslave comment at will.

Viscaria
Viscaria
12 years ago

I guess he’ll have to find some other way to deal with his anger, rather than lashing out at strangers on the internet, going away for a day, and coming back assuming all will be fogiven. MRAL, if you’re reading this, I highly suggest speaking honestly about how you feel with a therapist.

Molly Ren
12 years ago

We might need to start our own explicitly feminist safe spaces in the kink community, and damn the consequences and drama that will follow.

I’m pretty sure there are already feminist, woman-only kink spaces; there’s starting to be more all-gender-orientation kink spaces in the DC scene as well.

Kate
Kate
12 years ago

Stoner with a boner needs to, er, bone up on his logical fallacies. For example, if A = C and B also = C, does that mean A = B?

I had an English teacher back in the day who explained it as “Alice in Wonderland” logic: Cats eat birds, cats eat mice, therefore mice fly. It’s not mathematical, it’s assuming that by both objects sharing one property in common they must of course share all properties. In this case the property is “tasty to cats”, but still…

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
12 years ago

@MollyRen: That’s good. Women-only spaces sorts of defeat the purpose for heterosexual sub women who are looking for a partner though. I mean, they could have use for that space to share experiences with other women, but if the point is to go to a play party and interact with people they might end up playing with, either at the party itself or in the future, they’ll have to go back into the currently existing BDSM scene where men are vetted mostly based on skillsets and not how they treat women.

darksidecat
darksidecat
12 years ago

I really don’t know what I did to be put on moderation “indefinitely”, especially when you let people like NWOslave comment at will.

MRAL, you are “people like NWOslave”.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

Shit, MRAL, NWO’s well, not nicer than you, but he tends not to go from zero to FUCK BITCHES RAWR in six seconds.

And fuck moderation, you should be banned all together.

katz
12 years ago

MRAL, you know what you can do if you think the moderation rules are unfair? Leave.

Molly Ren
12 years ago

Women-only spaces sorts of defeat the purpose for heterosexual sub women who are looking for a partner though.

Well, you gotta keep in mind that a lot of women-only spaces *were* started by lesbians–some of the more well-known ones actually were founded in the 70s, like Michfest. I’m by no means a kink historian, but I’ve gotten the idea that making spaces where *straight* women can specifically talk about their desires is a fairly recent trend, much like porn for the “female gaze”. Most people that have seen a need for more feminist BDSM spaces also tend to think “women only” is an antiquated idea that often results in the space becoming anti-trans women, thus there’s usually more of a desire for queer kink spaces.

belledame222
12 years ago

er I though MRAL *was* banned…

Ami Angelwings
12 years ago

MRAL, there’s v little difference between you and NWOslave at this point except that he’s angry 24/7 and you’re angry 23/7

Ami Angelwings
12 years ago

Oh I’m sorry, NWO is angry 28/7

sorry XD

Bostonian
12 years ago

NWO slave is amusing, at times and that is why he gets to post more freely, David has said so many times.

You just get a bee in your bonnet with specific posters and attack them in nasty ways, the last one being CassandraSays.

Also, you were pretending to be reasonable, and David has higher standards for those who are indeed reasonable, and expect them to behave without attacking people.

If you go balls to the wall nutz, then David is more willing to let you post at will. He still will not allow personal attacks though.

ithiliana
12 years ago

I imagine if NWO starts personally attacking/targeting specific people, there will be moderation in his future as well. or should I say his Futrelle!

AHAHAHAHA!

You cannot blame my bad jokes. I r menstruating.

Shadow
Shadow
12 years ago

mmmhmmmm *regards ithiliana suspiciously*

@MRAL

The difference between you and NWO is also that he comes in as a troll, he rants and raves, and zero sums around, and then jets. You, on the other hand, are attempting to be a commenterm which is why I find your shtick more disturbing. You come in, trying to be part of the commentariat, attack women for random “transgressions”, and then get all hurt when people take you to task for your ridiculous bullshit (and the way people treat you here is so mild that I would have to think that this is the only blog you frequent where you interact with women/feminist men for you to get so outraged about it. Anywhere else and you would have your ass handed to you much more viciously and without the calls to get help, and the info and personal anecdotes that people give you to help you)

Shadow
Shadow
12 years ago

*commenter not commenterm

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

“We might need to start our own explicitly feminist safe spaces in the kink community, and damn the consequences and drama that will follow. Too many people are too afraid of saying to other people that their kinks are NOT okay when they start to interfere with the enjoyment of others, and too many people prefer to cater to those with useful skills to teach even if they are poisonous to the community because of their attitudes and the way they treat others.”

Cosigning all of this. There have been attempts to create such spaces, but so far I’ve never encountered one that truly works for me. Queer spaces tend to be “safer” than straight spaces, but since I’m not really interested in playing with women then that isn’t going to do me much good unless I happen to stumble upon a bi man whose interests match up well with mine.

The issue with MRAL isn’t that he’s nasty so much as the nasty/pretend that never happened/nasty again pattern, and the fact that he demands that his nastiness be overlooked for various inadequate reasons. Basically he’s asking us to enable his tendency to lash out at women and take his issues out on them, and I don’t think we should be doing that.