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There’s an app for that! By “that” I mean “penis.” And by “app” I mean a doohickey to attach a Fleshlight to your iPad.

Maru the cat wants none of this.

Ladies, your time is up! The sexy robogals are here! Prepare for the end of feminism and the eventual elimination of all women, with the possible exception of some of the really hot ones, so long as they don’t have too many opinions of their own.

Now that I’ve got your attention I should point out that the sexy Robogals aren’t quite here yet. The not-quite-Robogals currently available, as we’ve seen, are a lot more scary than sexy.

But one dude has a much simpler and less horrifying solution: he’s invented a doohickey that will allow horny penis-having people to attach a Fleshlight to their iPads, so they can pretend to be having some sort of sexual relations with images of actual sexy ladies (or sexy anything else, for that matter) on their iPads.

Read more at The Register, which also has a photo of the doohickey at work. (Dude fucking it not pictured.) I really didn’t feel like having that picture here, hence the gif of Maru the cat with his head in a bag.

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CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

I’m watching music videos on YouTube – that’s misandry AND hypergamy.

AndersH
12 years ago

@Quackers
Unless it’s with a beta, it’s supermisandry and hypergamy.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

If you’re not having sex with a beta RIGHT NOW, that’s misandry.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Unless you’re having sex with a beta who likes to be submissive, in which case it’s abuse.

Making fun of this logic? Yes, that’s misandry.

Ami Angelwings
12 years ago

If you ARE having sex with a beta right now that’s also misandry

Quackers
Quackers
12 years ago

what if I cuddle with my pillow? is that misandry and hypergamy too? I’m pretty sure my pillow is a beta…

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

How big is the pillow? If it’s one of those super-long pillows that they make for king size beds it’s clearly an alpha.

AndersH
12 years ago

Anything male that consents to be so close to a woman is obviously a mangina, so now you’ve started a misandric conspiracy.

Sorka
Sorka
12 years ago

Clear example of hypergamy; you’re just holding out for an alpha. Unless the pillow negged you before you cuddled it.

“Your neck is a funny shape”
“Your head is pretty light for a big girl”
“Are those roots?”

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Also, cuddling? Real men hate cuddling. Cuddling a man is an insult to his penis.

Sorka
Sorka
12 years ago

True that. I’ve seen comment sections on the internet devoted to tips and tricks for men wanting to alpha up by resisting the urge to cuddle.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Which is why those of us who won’t have sex with any man who we haven’t cuddled first are the most evil women in the world.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Also, the idea that wanting to cuddle is something men should fight? A perfect example of how patriarchy hurts men too, and one that most MRAs would be very much in favor of.

viola
12 years ago

But… cuddling! I don’t want a lover who’s too self-important to demean himself by cuddling, that would make me very sad. Cuddling is wonderful.

Sorka
Sorka
12 years ago

Being cuddly apparently means that you are beta or a mangina. So then none of the entitled alpha women riding the cock carousel will want you. Um.

But yes, cuddling is the best.

viola
12 years ago

And of course, I don’t think cuddling demeans anyone. Those who are trying to train themselves not to cuddle because it’s too pleasant for their partners probably do, though.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Funny how some of the most sought after men I’ve ever met have been super cuddly…

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
12 years ago

Cooking is also misandry. This evening I made dinner and did not offer to share it with any men. This is clearly reflective of my hypergamous and misandrous attitude in general – I was abusing all my male neighbors by not offering to make them dinner too, or give them blowjobs.

You’re joking, but I’ve actually seen comments at AVfM where they believe women cook for men because they’re trying to control men with food. You know that saying “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach?”. Apparently, MRA’s think that phrase shows that it’s misandry for women to cook for men. By that logic, sammich jokes are misandry, too. When misogynists on Xbox Live tell female gamers, “Get back in the kitchen and make me a sammich”, they are actually oppressing men.

However, it’s also misandry for a women to refuse to cook for a man.

By the way, I am also 5’2″. Sorry, I didn’t realize that being short was MISANDRY!

pillowinhell
12 years ago

After dominating two alpha pillows and leaving Beloved with a couple of beta pillows, I stole Beloveds slippers. The slippers he put by the door so he could go outside so he could have a smoke.

Beloved is confused, he had two beta pillows put together in one pillow case, does that mean he was abusing them or only that he’s an accessory to the crime?

Shadow
Shadow
12 years ago

By the way, I am also 5’2″. Sorry, I didn’t realize that being short was MISANDRY!

Only if you don’t allow the ones that you don’t turn on to throw you around.

And yes, that is misandrist

Also, I tried to google that stupid word to figure out what forms it actually breaks down into. Didn’t find an answer, but did find this entry, along with some hilarious comments from Aoirthoir An Broc Masculinist

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/misandry

Miss Pearl
Miss Pearl
12 years ago

Cassandra, you said you were like 5’2. That’s a fucking laugh. I hope you realize that these men only agree to do any of that shit because it turns them on, and that if you even for a second crossed the line they would sit up and contemptuously dump your weak-ass ladyframe to the side.

Yes, generally one’s sexual partners only agree to do things because they want it to happen to them. Otherwise the word we use is “rape”. Did you not know this? I mean it’s good that you point out that people have the right to escape unwanted sexual attention, but did you think doms randomly grabbed dudes off the street?

I actually think that respectfully negotiated fem-dom would probably break a lot of MRA’s brains. “He wants her to do WHAT?!”

At least the ones not quietly masturbating about how the feminist scourge was going to equip everyone with shocking cock collars to make men into working drones, saving only attractive alpha types for sexual slavery.

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
12 years ago

My cat is a misandrist, too. When my husband’s at work, she spends all day taking naps and eating Meow Mix. (Meow Mix=kitty cat bon bons). Tomorrow I’m taking her to the vet for booster shots. Do you think she’ll say, “Thank you” to the vet for her vaccines? No, she’ll probably just hiss at him like an entitled princess. I trimmed her claws the other day. How dare she expect everyone to give her a manicure just for her vanity? OMG MISANDRIC KITTY!

stonerwithaboner
12 years ago

Fatrelle,

your bigotry and double standards don’t cease to amaze me….

your boy Schwyzer had an article at The Good Men Project saying that men should use sex toys, I tried to force myself to read the whole thing but could only get halfway through….

also there was some article on Jezebel where a Feminist woman talked about her vibrator and when it was time to get a new one…

I don’t own one myself, but in the unlikely event that you don’t already have one and want to try one out, I’m sure FB and the white power the guys at Inmalafide will lend you one of theirs….

BTW-misandry IS REAL-the draft did happen. Glad I won’t meet you bigots in real life….

2-D Man
2-D Man
12 years ago

By the way, I am also 5’2″. Sorry, I didn’t realize that being short was MISANDRY!

Only for women. You see, I’m 6’1″ and that’s also misandry because MRAL is the only one who matters.

2-D Man
2-D Man
12 years ago

BTW-misandry IS REAL-the draft did happen. Glad I won’t meet you bigots in real life….

Actually, there’s a good chance that you will meet those of us who work in medical fields (like Holly), given that you suffer from priapism.

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