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There’s an app for that! By “that” I mean “penis.” And by “app” I mean a doohickey to attach a Fleshlight to your iPad.

Maru the cat wants none of this.

Ladies, your time is up! The sexy robogals are here! Prepare for the end of feminism and the eventual elimination of all women, with the possible exception of some of the really hot ones, so long as they don’t have too many opinions of their own.

Now that I’ve got your attention I should point out that the sexy Robogals aren’t quite here yet. The not-quite-Robogals currently available, as we’ve seen, are a lot more scary than sexy.

But one dude has a much simpler and less horrifying solution: he’s invented a doohickey that will allow horny penis-having people to attach a Fleshlight to their iPads, so they can pretend to be having some sort of sexual relations with images of actual sexy ladies (or sexy anything else, for that matter) on their iPads.

Read more at The Register, which also has a photo of the doohickey at work. (Dude fucking it not pictured.) I really didn’t feel like having that picture here, hence the gif of Maru the cat with his head in a bag.

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windupmyskirt
12 years ago

Thank you for picturing Maru. There are some things you just can’t un-see.

Evan
Evan
12 years ago

So THAT’S what TDWLW keeps talking about!

Common Nonsense
Common Nonsense
12 years ago

That just seems like it has all sorts of ways for it to get awkward and messy. I don’t own an iPad, but I really wouldn’t want to put anything of this sort near my technology.

Snowy
Snowy
12 years ago

I don’t even… whyyy did I click that link??

katz
12 years ago

Whatever. There have been USB vibrators for years.

…What?

Isabeau
Isabeau
12 years ago

Maru’s thrashing tail makes me nervous.

“Now I growl when I’m pleased, and wag my tail when I’m angry.” — The Cheshire Cat.

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
12 years ago

All they need need now is an iWomb and we women are doomed!

Cloudiah
Cloudiah
12 years ago

So they can visualize themselves having sex with a iPad-sized woman, according to the picture which I now wish I could unsee.

Valerie
Valerie
12 years ago

Well, I can’t blame them for wanting a sexyrobot, I’ve always had a thing for Lt. Commander Data. But getting a fleshlight hooked up to their iPad doesn’t seem logical. Why not just use the fleshlight while watching porn?. This is confusing.

iWomb- Good one, Kendra.

bigliberty
12 years ago

…how is this not just like screwing a rubbery gif?

Don’t get me wrong, I love sex toys and sex tech. This is just kind of low-tech for the kinds of things we can do today. Really what would work better is a fake vag console into which an iPad can dock, then play through variations that would stroke based on the program (probably some porn video encoded to the strokes). That’s a decent piece of software.

For women, it would have to be something with hydraulics, like a low-key fucking machine. Same dock concept, though.

katz
12 years ago

Woomba?

vacuumslayer
12 years ago

That’ll teach us!

I’m renouncing feminism right now!

Ami Angelwings
12 years ago

I suppose, it could be interactive, with like a virtual woman on the Ipad, and maybe what you feel changes to match the video too…

Discordia
12 years ago

you see to me a robo person would be really really boring if there ws no AI…and if there was an AI robo woman…who knows what she would be like! They might be feminist! AHHHHH!!!

blitzgal
12 years ago

Like we keep saying……go ahead and go your own way with your Real Dolls and your fleshlights. You are not John Galt, and society will survive without your sexual participation.

Holly Pervocracy
12 years ago

This isn’t intrinsically misogynistic. I have sex with lifeless disembodied male parts and I don’t want to shame a man doing the equivalent. Maturbation is a legit hobby.

Ami Angelwings
12 years ago

Yeah, I’m perfectly fine with the MRAs doing whatever they want as long as they aren’t harming others xD If they want to have I-fleshlights or whatever, more power to them 😀 It’s their money and their time and their body :3

It’s the weird “THIS WILL REPLACE WOMEN FOR ALL MEN AND THEN WOMEN WILL VANISH” thing I never get o_O

ozymandias42
12 years ago

Am I the only one who thinks this is the best thing since the vibrator that syncs up to your iPod so you can get off to Tim Curry singing?

Ami Angelwings
12 years ago

I listen to almost entirely sports talk radio on my ipod XD I wonder how that’d feel interpreted in a vibrator xD (though I COULD get off to Bob McCown’s voice even without any tools *-*)

Shadow
Shadow
12 years ago

That’s some serious human ingenuity!! Go on with your bad selves!!

Ami Angelwings
12 years ago

One of the weird things about them is the “TAKE THAT WOMEN, I”M HAVING PLEASURE AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME” narratives they have o_O

I suppose it dovetails with the idea some of them seem to have that being against harassment, assault and rape are more about taking pleasure away from them, than about who they’re harming, and that’s some sort of horrible oppression to them… so in the same way they think we MUST be against them masturbating b/c it’s men getting pleasure and we can’t stop them! xD

Mary Contrary
Mary Contrary
12 years ago

A “doohickey”? LOL. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

I’ll be honest and say I never really “got” sex toys, for either men or women. Do they really up the ante in masturbation sessions? Mine are pretty damn good as they are with just my own body.

pillowinhell
12 years ago

Hey! Maybe this means feminists will now be able to have nice peaceful uninterrupted comment threads from now on?

For the guys who like this idea, have fun!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

I’m with Maru on this one. Not even clicking the link.

“One of the weird things about them is the “TAKE THAT WOMEN, I”M HAVING PLEASURE AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME” narratives they have o_O”

It extends beyond that, though. Like MRAL is so convinced that feminists are hypocritical and devoted to making him miserable that he keeps going “yeah well I have preferences too! so there! what do you say to that?”. It’s really weird. Why do they think that we care what they do with their imaginations and/or penises as long as they’re not forcing us to be involved?

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