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Skanks, Spongebob, and the Maso-kabbalist videodrome complex

Jenna Jameson on a Harley. (Chuck E. Cheese not pictured.)

Sure, Man Boobz 2011 Troll of the Year NWOslave may live in an alternate reality — but he at least seems well-grounded in that reality. What might happen if he were to suddenly ingest a tab or ten of LSD?

I think I have an answer to that question. Meet blogger and conspiracy theorist Jay Dyer, a self-described “controversialist, writer, comedian, debater, and philosopher/theologian.”

That’s a mouthful, and Jay more or less lives up to it, delivering stream of consciousness rants that range from Aleister Crowley (he’s not a fan) to the evils of women dressing like Hannah Montana. Plus he quotes the Bible from time to time.

Actually, that description doesn’t even begin to capture Jay’s peculiar charms. So, without further ado, I present to you some highlights from an essay titled The United Skanks of Amerika that Jay wrote with the assistance of someone identified only as M.B.

Amerika has become one, big, nasty, black metal mosh pit. Satan said to Adam and Eve “do what thou wilt,” Satanist Aleister Crowley said, “do what thou wilt” and the gospel of Amerika is “do what thou wilt.” …  Churches are dominated by fat matriarchal women and homosexuals. Women open their purses and the priests of Ashtoreth bow and tell them whatever they want to hear. …  Amerika is a play land – a bigger, gayer Disney world. It’s middle-aged moms on facebook, donning Montana garb. The nation is frozen in perpetual adolescence and arrested development.

After this dramatic opening, Jay offers up the strangest capsule version of American history I’ve ever seen:

Started by a bunch of tee-totaler puritan gnostics, this nation has jumped to the opposite extreme and become a cess pool of flesh. In fact, in the East Coast punk scene, kids are now eating chunks of each others’ flesh. Let that sink in. In the West Coast gay scene, it is now an honor to receive AIDS from trendy gays.

Then Jay gets around to the “skanks” of the essay’s title:

Women of this country, especially young women, are perpetual princesses stuck in a perpetual mirror glance, coated in chemicals and striving for the most unnatural goals – to be a manwoman. For a sensible male to get with one of these creatures is in serious danger. But watch out – before long, they’ve left you for another woman and taken your fake Federal Reserve notes. They get half of your all-seeing eyes. Whores with your Horus. Dressed like complete whores, will they soon be completely naked?

But young men don’t get off any easier in Jay’s critique:

The average twenty-something male is now a fat, gamer, feminized, emo freak, who spits every time he lisps, because he can’t form sentences.

Neither do middle-aged men:

Grown men – baby-boomer dads – collect comics and play Dungeons & Dragons. And if they don’t, they stare at pixelated football and the Maso-kabbalist videodrome complex.

Yes, he really did just say “Maso-kabbalist videodrome complex.”

Jay also has some issues with higher education:

The “wise men” of this culture are the Marxist, gay, feminist, druid college professors, who, if they have children, drive them to white horror core rap concerts. Just like the sociology professor mom involved with Pyscho Sam whom her daughter met over Myspace.

And lower education:

That any parent would put their children in public school is a sign of apparent hatred of their kids. Why would anyone put their kids in a government re-education camp? Public schools are prisons where the teachers screw students and students get doped up on pills become homosexual.

When they’re not shooting each other, that is:

[P]arents can’t understand why their children shoot each other at school. The[y] shoot one another at school because they are possessed by the demonic culture. And while you stupidly play golf and make scrapbooks, your kids are worshipping Lucifer, who, according to you, doesn’t exist.

Women working! Men raising kids! It’s all one big air-conditioned nightmare for Jay:

The family is now become stay-at-home dads that care for the 1.3 kids, while moms climb the skyscraper and has sex with the CEO for more fake fed notes. If it’s not this, it’s “my two dads.”

Preach it, Jay!

Amerika is just this – Chuck E. Cheese speeding at you on a Harley, holding Crowley’s Magick in Theory and Practice,with Jenna Jameson mounted on the back. …

Amerika is krunk. Amerika is funk. Amerika is junk. Amerika is Lil’ Jon having sex with Lady Liberty. …

Rationalism is what birthed this country, but it morphed into utter irrationality. Thomas Paine became Spongebob and Spongebob is Thomas Paine.

I think I’ll just leave it at that. Oh, there’s more — much, much more —  in Jay’s little manifesto, but my poor brain can only take in so much in one sitting without exploding.

NOTE: I discovered Jay’s essay through a link on MGTOWforums.com; the dude posting the link described it as “one of the best essays about feminism and life in the US … By far one of the most accurate essays I have ever had the pleasure of reading.” It got a mixed reaction; the consensus seemed to be that while he made some good points, Jay might just be a little too obsessed with Aleister Crowley and the Masons.

EDITED TO ADD: Also, if middle-aged women want to wear some sort of “Montana garb,” I’d suggest they go with Patsy, not Hannah. Patsy Montana was awesome!

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QuantumSparkle
QuantumSparkle
12 years ago

PS: I am SOOOO not advocating government weather control conspiracy theories!

Oh, and I’m a huge fan of vaccines. As far as I’m concerned, the deliberate eradication of smallpox is still one of the coolest things our humanity has ever accomplished. I can’t wait until polio is gone, too. And Jenny McCarthy can shut up forever.

LyssatakeaBow
LyssatakeaBow
12 years ago

there might be a younger crop that i don’t know about but the boston punk scene i roll with hardly has anything to do with punk anymore. we’re all old. actually i’m still among the youngest and i’m 26 hahaha. punk punk. sorry i always thought the least punk rock thing was deciding who and who can’t be into punk. I don’t know if FSU is still around? I know they were like 5 years ago but haven’t heard it mentioned in a while. i guess i used to hang out with some more punk-looking, crustier kids they still weren’t eating each others flesh though!

….seriously? Meller made a fake wife? really? or someone made it for him

Quackers
Quackers
12 years ago

Writing pseudo-scientific, bloviating articles about how dumb the ladies are is totally advocating for men’s rights you guys!
http://www.avoiceformen.com/women/lessons-from-nature-brain-in-a-vat/

Also the culprit behind weather control conspiracies is usually HAARP
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_Frequency_Active_Auroral_Research_Program

katz
12 years ago

Surely Alaska is not the optimal place to research artificial tornadoes.

I’m sorry you have to put up with that kind of crap–some people just can’t accept that tragedies can happen for no reason and have to turn it into a cautionary tale.

Quackers
Quackers
12 years ago

my comments wont go through 🙁

katz
12 years ago

BlackBloc, the Casualties are pretty awesome.

Ignatzkat
12 years ago

LONG LIVE THE NEW FLESH! [Chuck E. Cheese reaches into his torso, pulls out a pizza topped with bits of East Coast punk kid, and proffers it to Jenna Jameson]

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
12 years ago

PS: I am SOOOO not advocating government weather control conspiracy theories!

Oh, and I’m a huge fan of vaccines. As far as I’m concerned, the deliberate eradication of smallpox is still one of the coolest things our humanity has ever accomplished. I can’t wait until polio is gone, too. And Jenny McCarthy can shut up forever.

Don’t worry, I didn’t think you were one of the storm manipulation conspiracy people. I thought the information about Operation Popeye was fascinating. I also liked reading about the Environmental Modification treaty.

I also agree on Jenny McCarthy. I feel sorry for her son having autism, but that still doesn’t make it okay for her to use her celebrity status and convince people to forgo vaccines.

I’m sorry you have to put up with that kind of crap–some people just can’t accept that tragedies can happen for no reason and have to turn it into a cautionary tale.

Thanks. The most awkward moments for me are when someone tells me “Wow, you survived. God saved you.” I just sheepishly say thanks but then think to myself “Why save me and not my neighbor?” Some preachers like to say it’s all God’s way of punishing Joplin for some sins. Why can’t people just accept that weather is random and sometimes tornadoes hit heavily populated areas? Now if someone wants to argue that global warming makes bad storms more likely, then I’d be interested in looking into that. If there’s anything we can do to prevent these tragedies, then we should be doing it.

Sorry for the derail. I just saw Jay’s weather manipulation stuff on his blog and went off on a rant.

Kyrie
Kyrie
12 years ago

So, I go for two days and Meller’s doll came to life?

I read diagonally the 200+ posts of the threads and I’m a bit confused: jay was totally kidding, except he completely believes his crazy theories, and the NWO is for real but it’s GOOD for him? I’m a bit lost.

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

@BlackBloc

Hmm. Sorry. Darkthrone are also problematicing in their being anti-semitic and collaborating with Varg Vikernes. In general, you wouldn’t want to touch the politics of the Norwegian (and some others) black metal scene with a 10-foot-pole.

I’m very unclear about the ethics of enjoying music with disagreeable politics or made by people who do. I’d say that a good deal of pop music (in the very broadest sense possible) is sexist or made by people who are, for example. So far I’ve just tried to recognise the problematic aspects and not done much beyond that.

Neither the Burzum song or the Darkthrone song were, outside the context of their writers being racists, racist in and of themselves as far as I can tell, if that helps. Beyond that, posting those (pirate) videos here does nothing to bring money to the actual artist, so I thought it’d be fine in that regard.

@Katz

I think punk is a lot more of a middle-class institution than a lot of people involved would like to think anyway.

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
12 years ago

I’m going to try to embed a video to lighten the mood. I’m crossing my fingers that this works because I stink at using html.

katz
12 years ago

Success! And then she drops a bag of flour on her head, right?

Cloudiah
Cloudiah
12 years ago

Aw, babies laughing at sneezes! I needed that.

Evan
Evan
12 years ago

@Lyssa I wish my sister was just his fake wife. Though, she’s so completely controlled by him she might as well be a fake account of his.

Mary Contrary
Mary Contrary
12 years ago

Good grief!

Cloudiah
Cloudiah
12 years ago

So I was a punk during the 80s in LA, and one of the cool things about the more relaxed edges of punkdom I inhabited is that there wasn’t really a “look.” None of my friends could be identified visually as punks. (I probably looked more like a hippie than a punk, due to an unfortunate fashion phase I went though — and hope I have destroyed all photographic evidence of.) I am sure some folks didn’t consider us to be really punk, but I never remember taking any shit at concerts or anything. Were we just stereotypical laid back angelenos? Curious. But in LA, we were totally into the cannibalism thing. Just sayin’.

Magpie
12 years ago

The weather controllers in Alaska would be heaps more believable if they made a tornado IN ALASKA. 🙂

Alex_P
Alex_P
12 years ago

What the fuck did I just read?

I was actually discussing with my girlfriend this morning that I’d be willing to take psychedelics with her (under the supervision of someone who knew what they were doing). This may have scared me straight.

katz
12 years ago

Cool, my character is also an angeleno. Can you tell me some more about the LA punk scene?

Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel
Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel
12 years ago

Weather conspiracy theories? For reals?

The stupid … it burns

– Somebody who hangs out with atmospheric scientists (so I’m totally in on the conspiracy and I go to the meetings where we plan how to suppress all the evidence and there are free donuts)

Magpie
12 years ago

Weather sicentist sounds like a funner job than weather conspiracist. When you see weather scientists on TV they’re always going to cool places like antarctica, or very high mountains, or the middle of the ocean and stuff.

For no reason except BUNNY! http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/funny-pictures-i-gave-up-smoking-but-i-took-up-bunnies.jpg

Quackers
Quackers
12 years ago

My last comment wouldn’t post for some reason, but HAARP is the main culprit for many weather conspiracy theories: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HAARP

blitzgal
12 years ago

Quakers: Yup, my co-worker is a big time tinfoil hattie. She’s decided to stop getting her children vaccinated because vaccines cause cancer. She says that Bush had bin Laden on ice (dead) since 2002, and he was dragged out last year and “killed” to distract us (tried to get her to explain why the Republicans would let the black President whom they hate with the heat of a thousand suns get the credit for killing him, and she launched into some New World Order and Illuminati tirade about how they’re all controlled by the same people). And finally, she says that HAARP is an earthquake weapon, and we used it to cause the recent earthquake in Japan, again to “distract everyone” and to “cause chaos.” But Japan is on the Ring of Fire, I said. They get a lot of earthquakes there. Nope, weaponized earthquake.

Also, we are using HAARP to set off the New Madrid faultline. So the next time there’s an earthquake in the midwest, like the one in the 1800’s that was so strong it made the Mississippi River run backwards, the tinfoil hatties will all say they were right, and HAARP is an earthquake machine.

Cloudiah
Cloudiah
12 years ago

Spheeris’ Suburbia (1983) captures the more standardized look of the LA punk scene in the 80s, at least for white punks. Not sure if that look still held in the 2000s. My favorite band was probably the minutemen, who (again) not everyone would classify as punk. I still jam econo! Their concerts tended to be less overwhelmingly white, and more varied in terms of fashion. Black Flag/Circle Jerks/Germs concerts were a bit more doctrinaire, but still I never had any problems being a weirdo outlier. Best shows I ever saw in LA were all at the anti club on melrose, fairly close to downtown. Search “Slovenly live at The Anti Club 6-27-1987” on youtube and if you watch the whole thing you will have seen the back of my blond head right in front of the lead singer, bobbing up and down in my reserved Danish way… 🙂

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
12 years ago

Now I’m understanding things much better. Conspiracy theorists learn just enough about HAARP to come up with their theories. They don’t understand how it works or what it does so they start pulling stuff out of their ass.

I’ve thought of yet another hole in the weather conspiracy theories. Why wouldn’t the government make a fake town full of dummies for them to test their weather weapons? They did that in Nevada when the created Survival Town, a place to test the affects of nuclear weapons on buildings. What kind of sicko would say, “It’s too much trouble to build another Survivor Town for our Tornado Machine. What the hell. Let’s aim it at a crowded city!”

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