Sure, Man Boobz 2011 Troll of the Year NWOslave may live in an alternate reality — but he at least seems well-grounded in that reality. What might happen if he were to suddenly ingest a tab or ten of LSD?
I think I have an answer to that question. Meet blogger and conspiracy theorist Jay Dyer, a self-described “controversialist, writer, comedian, debater, and philosopher/theologian.”
That’s a mouthful, and Jay more or less lives up to it, delivering stream of consciousness rants that range from Aleister Crowley (he’s not a fan) to the evils of women dressing like Hannah Montana. Plus he quotes the Bible from time to time.
Actually, that description doesn’t even begin to capture Jay’s peculiar charms. So, without further ado, I present to you some highlights from an essay titled The United Skanks of Amerika that Jay wrote with the assistance of someone identified only as M.B.
Amerika has become one, big, nasty, black metal mosh pit. Satan said to Adam and Eve “do what thou wilt,” Satanist Aleister Crowley said, “do what thou wilt” and the gospel of Amerika is “do what thou wilt.” … Churches are dominated by fat matriarchal women and homosexuals. Women open their purses and the priests of Ashtoreth bow and tell them whatever they want to hear. … Amerika is a play land – a bigger, gayer Disney world. It’s middle-aged moms on facebook, donning Montana garb. The nation is frozen in perpetual adolescence and arrested development.
After this dramatic opening, Jay offers up the strangest capsule version of American history I’ve ever seen:
Started by a bunch of tee-totaler puritan gnostics, this nation has jumped to the opposite extreme and become a cess pool of flesh. In fact, in the East Coast punk scene, kids are now eating chunks of each others’ flesh. Let that sink in. In the West Coast gay scene, it is now an honor to receive AIDS from trendy gays.
Then Jay gets around to the “skanks” of the essay’s title:
Women of this country, especially young women, are perpetual princesses stuck in a perpetual mirror glance, coated in chemicals and striving for the most unnatural goals – to be a manwoman. For a sensible male to get with one of these creatures is in serious danger. But watch out – before long, they’ve left you for another woman and taken your fake Federal Reserve notes. They get half of your all-seeing eyes. Whores with your Horus. Dressed like complete whores, will they soon be completely naked?
But young men don’t get off any easier in Jay’s critique:
The average twenty-something male is now a fat, gamer, feminized, emo freak, who spits every time he lisps, because he can’t form sentences.
Neither do middle-aged men:
Grown men – baby-boomer dads – collect comics and play Dungeons & Dragons. And if they don’t, they stare at pixelated football and the Maso-kabbalist videodrome complex.
Yes, he really did just say “Maso-kabbalist videodrome complex.”
Jay also has some issues with higher education:
The “wise men” of this culture are the Marxist, gay, feminist, druid college professors, who, if they have children, drive them to white horror core rap concerts. Just like the sociology professor mom involved with Pyscho Sam whom her daughter met over Myspace.
And lower education:
That any parent would put their children in public school is a sign of apparent hatred of their kids. Why would anyone put their kids in a government re-education camp? Public schools are prisons where the teachers screw students and students get doped up on pills become homosexual.
When they’re not shooting each other, that is:
[P]arents can’t understand why their children shoot each other at school. The[y] shoot one another at school because they are possessed by the demonic culture. And while you stupidly play golf and make scrapbooks, your kids are worshipping Lucifer, who, according to you, doesn’t exist.
Women working! Men raising kids! It’s all one big air-conditioned nightmare for Jay:
The family is now become stay-at-home dads that care for the 1.3 kids, while moms climb the skyscraper and has sex with the CEO for more fake fed notes. If it’s not this, it’s “my two dads.”
Preach it, Jay!
Amerika is just this – Chuck E. Cheese speeding at you on a Harley, holding Crowley’s Magick in Theory and Practice,with Jenna Jameson mounted on the back. …
Amerika is krunk. Amerika is funk. Amerika is junk. Amerika is Lil’ Jon having sex with Lady Liberty. …
Rationalism is what birthed this country, but it morphed into utter irrationality. Thomas Paine became Spongebob and Spongebob is Thomas Paine.
I think I’ll just leave it at that. Oh, there’s more — much, much more — in Jay’s little manifesto, but my poor brain can only take in so much in one sitting without exploding.
NOTE: I discovered Jay’s essay through a link on MGTOWforums.com; the dude posting the link described it as “one of the best essays about feminism and life in the US … By far one of the most accurate essays I have ever had the pleasure of reading.” It got a mixed reaction; the consensus seemed to be that while he made some good points, Jay might just be a little too obsessed with Aleister Crowley and the Masons.
EDITED TO ADD: Also, if middle-aged women want to wear some sort of “Montana garb,” I’d suggest they go with Patsy, not Hannah. Patsy Montana was awesome!
*squee*
The best part? The look of identical expectation on the baby’s and dog’s faces.
Again, does the Department of Defense not exist? Was there no William Cohen? Is that not the real website? Is that not a real quote?
Do you exist jay? Do we exist jay?
MRAL: Bad translation, probably. Aristophanes is hilarious and raunchy and brilliant in the original. (Also terribly prone to puns, which are unfortunately impossible to translate.)
Jay: Yeah. I thought so. People who make stupid claims about what the Greeks and Romans thought don’t know shit about the classics.
For those who are not idiotic– the satyr plays, from which the term “satire” was derived, were not actually what we consider satire. The satyr play was the last piece performed at a festival, after three tragedies, and served as comic relief: it took mythological themes and added in drunkenness, sexuality, pranks, and slapstick.
Was there no William Cohen?
I know there’s a Leonard Cohen.
And I refuse to answer any of your questions until you tell me what you think of the Dropkick Murphys.
Who cares if it was a real quote or not? What is the bloody point of quoting someone from the DoD?
Pretty much everything can be improved by adding these things. Like say, the State of the Union. I volunteer Boehner to be the drunk.
I like Celtic celtic, but I’m not a big fan of the Dropkick Murphys. Several of my friends are, but I’m much more of an Enya guy. Pax Deorum!
oh nice new avatar jay…..
I know what a satyr is, and what satire is. I’m not a fan of total raunch, and perfer political satire (which is often raunchy, too). I like the Romans over the Greeks in that regard.
I did it. I watched the entire video of Ben Livingston talking about Operation Popeye and cloud seeding. He was right about the military putting silver iodine in clouds in order to extend the monsoon season in the Vietnam War. Then he complained that the government doesn’t try to weaken hurricanes by cloud seeding. Honestly, I’m not a scientist. I have no idea if cloud seeding would effectively weaken hurricanes, and if cloud seeding could cause environmental damage even if it works. Nothing from the video had anything to do with the people that say Alaskan scientists hit Joplin with a tornado just to keep us in line, though.
In summary, I won’t deny that the government experimented with weather modification in the past. I won’t deny that cloud seeding is till in use today. I’m just saying that the government is not using HAARP to create natural disasters. I hope this clears up any confusion.
Now, back to the most important topic, laughing babies!
Amazing how I did so well in that graduate class, not knowing anything at all about classical satire. Apuleius is also good: the influence of the Golden Ass on the growing Marian cultus is fascinating.
I never mentioned HAARP, and I don’t think the Alaska facility is anything other than a research facility. It’s not mentioned on my blog anywhere, that I recall, it’s just what people on this thread accused me of talking about. What I did mention was what is confirmed by Zbigniew and Clinton’s Secretary of Defense:
“Alvin Toeffler has written about this in terms of some scientists in their laboratories trying to devise certain types of pathogens that would be ethnic specific so that they could just eliminate certain ethnic groups and races; and others are designing some sort of engineering, some sort of insects that can destroy specific crops. Others are engaging even in an eco- type of terrorism whereby they can alter the climate, set off earthquakes, volcanoes remotely through the use of electromagnetic waves.”
I have no idea whether this is “HAARP” or not, but it’s more or less the same principle.
Jay, at some point you have to make it possible for someone who doesn’t know you to know what you hold as truth and lies. Right now we can’t, because what you assume to be rational is nonsensical to us.
Is “I have good grades” the new “I have a High IQ”?
Guys, he did well in graduate school! And he listens to Enya! Obviously we must heed his words.
Maybe, Ozy, but if all the men are at war, how would they even notice the sex strike? I prefer modern English literature, and maybe some of the best modern foreign stuff, like Franz Kafka. Kafka is pretty awesome.
Modern stuff is more relevant, and also is obviously not translated. Plus, old literature is just boring as hell. With a few exceptions, James Joyce is about as far back as I’ll go without being forced to.
Fair enough. I shouldn’t assume that when people talk about weather modification, that they also believe HAARP creates tornadoes and hurricanes as part of a plan to control the population. I’m having trouble figuring out what you believe about anything because you keep claiming that what you’re saying is all part of a Kaufman style satire.
Personally, I think anyone who doesn’t appreciate laughing babies can’t claim an understanding of any kind of humor.
Oh, what happened to the “conspiracy for fun” world.
You used to be able to hang out, grab some beers and your small press edition of the Principia and some Robert Anton Wilson and your tattered issue of the Invisibles and your theories about Jack Parsons and go chasing golden apples in the sunt, without ponderous, stupid right wing bullshit dominating everything. Le sigh.
Jay, I grew up on ironic discordian style conspiracist anti-authoritarianism for fun.
ur doin it rong
Is this the retconned good MRAL we’re supposed to have normal convos with now and pretending last night w/ Cassandra didn’t happen? xD I can’t tell nemore >_>
I thought the strategy usually was to say how you didn’t go to school and yet you’re XYZ smart and nifty… now instead it’s “I got through grad school as the plucky underdog who knew nothing but what he (and 4+ years of university) taught myself from the back of ketchup packets!” ? xD
What’d he do last night?
I’ve gotten behind, obviously.
He attacked Cassandra, said his usual angry things (which I’m totally sure were said in anger, haste, first strike, or flanking) and ended with saying “Yes, that’s misandrist” (of her being short, or having sex, or something, I can’t tell nemore xD ) which Cassandra turned into a hilarious meme xD
well, it isn’t translated if you only ever consume stuff from the anglosphere. THat’s getting harder, even now, although not by much XD
I think classics are vastly overrated as anything but a window into the era’s culture, though, so rock on there. Some of them are technically well written, but it’s true that they’re not generally still relevant.
MRAL, do you need recommendations to forums/sites that might better suit your interest and looking for e-friends? o_O