An alert reader pointed me to this amazing “map” from the 1830s, posted on Ptak Science Books and originally found here. Described as “A Map of the Open Country of a Woman’s Heart,” it presents a less-than-flattering picture of the supposed shallowness, vanity and selfishness of the female of the species. Click on the pic above to see it full size.
It’s amazing how closely this resembles so many Manosphere “critiques” of evil modern women; the main difference is that it’s a bit more polite in its language. Also, no mention of stinky vaginas.
Manospherians love to talk about “taking the red pill,” as if their ideas are all new and cool and Matrixy. Actually, of course, their ideas are old as fuck. It’s more like they are taking a gulp of Dr. Flimflam’s Electro Magnetic Misogyny Fluid.
Below, another amazing picture also found on Ptak, which presents data on where women’s eyes linger when looking at men. (Again, click on it to see it full size.) I suspect this one would be a bit more confounding to the Manospherians of today, in that it doesn’t show women looking only at the dude’s wallet. The post on Ptak offers a more detailed explanation of what this picture is about.
from 1824
THE BACHELOR’S REGISTER
At 16 years incipient palpitations are manifested towards the young ladies.
17. Much blushing and confusion occurs when addressed by a handsome woman.
18. Confidence in conversation with the ladies is much increased,
19. Becomes angry if treated by them as a boy.
20. Betrays great consciousness of his own charms and manliness.
21. A looking-glass becomes and indispensable piece of furniture in his dressing- room, and in some instances finds its way into the pocket.
22. Insufferable puppyism now exhibited.
23. Thinks no woman good enough to enter the marriage state with him.
24. Is caught unawares by the snare of Cupid.
25. The connection broken off from self-conceit on his part.
26. Conducts himself with airs of much superiority towards her.
27. Pays his addresses to another lady, not without hopes of mortifying the first.
28. Is mortified and frantic on being re- fused.
29. Rails against the fair sex in general as heartless beings.
30. Seems morose and out of humour in all conversations on matrimony.
31. Contemplates matrimony more un- der the influence on interest than previously.
32. Begins to consider personal beauty in a wife not so indispensable as formerly.
33. Still retains a high opinion of his at- tractions as a husband.
34. Consequently has the hope that he may still marry a chicken.
35. Falls deeply and violently in love with one of seventeen.
36. Au dernier desespoir! another refusal.
37. Indulges now in every kind of dissipation.
38. Shuns the best part of the female sex, and finds some consolation for his spleen in the society of ladies of easy dis- positions.
39. Suffers much remorse and mortifica- tion in so doing.
40. Begins to think he is growing old, yet still feels a fresh budding of matri- monial ideas, but no spring shoots.
41. A nice, buxom young widow begins to perplex him.
42. Ventures to address her with mixed sensations of love and interest.
43. Interest prevails, which causes much cautious reflection.
44. The widow jilts him, being full as cautious as himself.
45. Becomes every day more gloomy and averse to the fair sex.
46. Gouty and nervous symptoms now begin to assail him.
47. Fears what may become of him when he gets old and infirm; but still persuades himself he is a young man.
48. Thinks living alone irksome.
49. Resolves to have a prudent young woman as house-keeper aud companion.
50. A nervous affection about him, and frequent attacks of the gout.
51. Much pleased with his new house- keeper as a nurse.
52. Begins to feel some attachment to her.
53. His pride revolts at the idea of marrying her.
54. Is in great distress how to act.
55. Completely under her influence and very miserable.
56. Many painful thoughts about parting with her, and attempts to gain her on his own terms.
57. She refuses to live any longer with him solo.
58. Gouty, nervous, and billious to excess.
59. Feels very ill, sends for her to his bedside and promises to espouse her.
60. Grows rapidly worse, has his will made in her favour, and makes his exit in her arms.
I only knew one person who actually used the phrase “MRS degree” (as in, she was looking for one, which is why she was perusing “The Rules” books). I literally had no idea what she was talking about until she spelled it out. (Context complicated because I knew her as someone who was also interested in going to the graduate program I was then in). It…didn’t make me think more highly of her, I have to say, but then there were a lot of factors there. Just: ugh, naff and simpery.
That map gives women way too much credit, IMO. When it comes to the contents of a chick’s head I think Panty & Stocking got it right, but maybe that’s because it’s a more contemporary work:
http://i42.tinypic.com/2cs8gzo.png
Okay, so it’s still vastly unfair that the dude gets until 60 while she’s washed up at 24. On the other hand: apparently he EXPIRES at the age of 60. Cause, 60, damn that’s ancient.
Maybe there’s something to be said for “changing expectations going along with extended lifespans.”
Which, in this era where some record number of people who make it past their 100th birthday keeps getting broken, makes Roissy’s insistence on approximately the same age range as wossname in 1830 (15 is great! 24 is too late!) even creepier.
Arks, do you like New York in June?
…don’t we all, really?
BAWK
I wonder if, like many of his kind, Roissy’s ideal age range will keep getting younger as he gets older, until finally he’s only interested in girls who haven’t hit puberty yet. He seems like one of those guys who thinks that he can recapture his own youth by fucking young people.
-shudder-
Go tell it on the mountain, over the hill and everywhereeeeeee.
Go tell it on the mountain, to let my comments goooooooooooo.
Who’s that yonder dressed in red
[Refrane]
Must be the children that Moses lead.
[Refrane]
Who’s that yonder dressed in red. Must be the children that Moses lead.
Go tell it on the mountain, over the hill and everywhereeeeeee.
Go tell it on the mountain, to let my comments goooooooooooo.
Who’s that yonder dressed in white
[Refrane]
Must the of the children of the Israelites
[Refrane]
Who’s that yonder dressed in white. Must be the children of the Israelites.
Go tell it on the mountain, over the hill and everywhereeeeeee.
Go tell it on the mountain, to let my comments goooooooooooo.
——-
[Refrane] Let my people go
Well, lowquacks still can’t blockquote.
lowquacks is funny, though 🙂
Yeah, I always get a Elizabeth Bathory vibe from older PUAs. And Hugh Hefner.
There’s a “carousel?”
Now I’m thinking about an MRA version of “Something Wicked This Way Comes.” Creepy old dude gets on the giant chicken and rides around backward until he’s a creepy little boy…actually, that was pretty much the original, minus the chicken. I think.
I keep wanting to remind those guys that youth is not an STD – you can’t catch it by fucking someone who still has it.
They’re alpha cocks. You know they won’t marry this (PAST IT!) 34-year-old. Hence carousel. He’ll have to hope for a beta provider cock to ensnare to show up.
At 16 years incipient palpitations are manifested towards the young ladies.
I love the wording here. It’s priceless.
At 16, though? I guess puberty must have hit later back then.
And what are the contents of your head, Arks? I’m afraid to find out.
Yeah, I think my “palpitations” began a bit earlier than described.
@CassandraSays
But all the young men had such magnificent moustaches! Or perhaps were just drawn that way.
I wonder if they sold fake mustaches back then…or something to make your mustache look more luxuriant, like a Bump-It but for your lip.
Well, in Blackadder’s Christmas Carol he’s working in a mustache shop. So it must be true. 🙂
@CassandraSays
I’ve never heard of anything like that, and I quite like reading about pre-20th-century grooming and clothing, but it’s possible. I’m not really an expert (on anything). As an 18-year-old with a handlebar moustache, I will point out that the length of such a thing does make it look thicker. Waxing helps too. The moustaches shown in old illustrations weren’t impossible; it just seems unlikely that such nice mos were so common. Mine’s slightly crappy and I’m about as beardy as I’ve ever seen an Anglo 18-year-old be.
Perhaps I just notice nice moustaches more because I like them, and then overestimate how common they were in Victorian and pre-Victorian illustrations, like when MRA’s assume all women are white cis het middle-class conventionally attractive etc. 20-year-olds? Alternatively, I might assume the people depicted are meant to be younger than was the artist’s intention because fresh-facedness is easier to draw (is it? not my field) or better-looking and people were drawn as younger-looking?
It’s not really an annoyance I’ve examined, is what I’m trying to say.
Actually, I do remember reading about a late-18th-century female pirate captain who wore a false beard, which implies that there were some fairly resilient examples of such that were convincing in more than just a theatrical setting.