Most of the coverage of the Costa Concordia disaster at the moment seems to be focusing on the Italian cruise ship’s captain and his douchey behavior, which involved not only running the ship aground but also abandoning ship prestissimo while passengers remained trapped on board.
MRAs, by contrast, are using the tragedy as an excuse to rail against the notion of “women and children first” and, of course, to make jokes about women drowning.
Now, the Titanic aside, “women and children first” isn’t now, and hasn’t ever really been, the standard way to evacuate those on a sinking ship, though many in the public — including some of those who were on board the Costa Concordia – seem to believe that it is. (See here for more details on how evacuations are typically handled these days; generally only those with mobility problems are given special treatment.)
In the case of this particular evacuation, some on board apparently tried to enforce an informal “women and children” policy, but many men weren’t willing to wait.
What’s got some MRAs in a snit is that some people, in the media and online, are calling these dudes cowards. In The Daily Mail, a right-wing British tabloid, A N Wilson wrote:
[I]n our day, with the advent of feminism and the professional woman, chivalry and manners are considered stuffy and old-fashioned.
As the father of three daughters, I do not, with a single fibre of my being, wish to go back to a time when women could not have the vote or get a university degree. Nor do I, surrounded by extremely strong-charactered and intelligent women in my family and among my friends, feel tempted to regard women as the frail sex.
But the fact remains that there is a longing among most men to protect women and children, and chivalry is simply a manifestation of that longing.
And whatever transpires about the reason for the Costa Concordia disaster, the disappearance of a chivalric code is a sorry reflection on society today.
This is not what you’d call a feminist argument; it’s a traditionalist argument, published in a tabloid rag that’s generally quite hostile to feminism.
Nonetheless, some MRAs are using the Costa Concordia disaster as an opportunity to deliver a big “told you so!” to the … imaginary feminists who live in their head.
Over on The Spearhead, where one familiar commenter actually described Wilson’s Daily Mail article as “feminist,” guest poster Lyn87 wrote:
The MRM is getting more vocal, and a lot of guys are now saying, “You wanted equality. This is what it looks like.” And they are saying it aloud and in public. Even a few women chimed in, saying that men have no obligation to die for women if women want equality. (Somehow I suspect there wasn’t much, “I am woman, hear me roar, watch me drown” on the Costa Concordia itself, but hey, it’s a start.)
MRAs: Always up-to-the-minute with their pop culture references!
This post was helpfully illustrated with a stock photo of a woman drowning.
Commenters got in their digs as well.
Keyster riffed on Lyn87’s incredibly au courant Helen Reddy reference:
I am woman hear me…blurp….rah…gurgle…raha…ffftt…orr…roar…gurgle…help me…somebody…fffft…please…blurp…help…help me please!
Aharon told both ladies and fish what’s what:
I eat fish. Fish don’t eat me. My life is too precious to sacrifice it so some spoiled bitch can have a pussy pass into the life boats.
Anti Idiocy got all hypothetical-cruise-ship tough guy on us:
Anyone who attempts to keep me on a sinking ship because of the genitals with which I was born is attempting to murder me. I have the right to respond accordingly.
And Thomas Tell-truth kicked chivalry – not to mention basic human decency — to the ocean floor:
Equality means that when the ship is going down and you are a woman, you had better get out of my way or you are going to drown with my footprints on your back.
Apparently Thomas Tell-truth is actually George Costanza:
Jeb, meanwhile, offered a more scientific rationalization for being a complete douchenozzle:
As far as I’ve heard, the one and only sport in which women naturally out-do men is endurance swimming. Women are also more bouyant, and as survivalists will explain, women float easiest on their backs (making it easy to breathe while expending minimal energy) whereas men float easiest in “the dead man’s float” (ie. face down, head in the water) and must expend more energy to stay alive. Furthermore, women have more body-fat than men which insulates them better against aquatic dangers such as hypothermia.
Given all these factors it is quite rational for men to pick women up by the seat of their pants and toss them overboard to make way for men and children to safely be rowed ashore on the lifeboats.
It’s all about doing the right thing and saving lives, after all.
MRA humor is very sophisticated indeed.
EDITED TO ADD: The Spearhead has put up a followup post, once again taking aim at imaginary “lifeboat feminists,” though the only person the post cites lamenting the end of “women and children” is Rich Lowry from the National Review (not a feminist publication).
Plus, if you tell your friends you’re bummed out, there’s a good chance they’ll try cheer you up. It might not make the “rejection” or whatever go away, but it makes you feel better.
And hey, I talk about my problems and somehow I’m still alive. =D
How do you believe your life would be different if you had been more open with your emotions rather than keeping them in?
See you don’t HAVE to talk about your emotions. But I think we need a society where men feel like it’s okay to talk about them and doesn’t make them less men, or mean that they worry your idea of them is the dominant narrative, etc… that way if they WANT to, or they need to, they feel able to 🙂
An example of talking about problems:
Man, I’m hungry! Have you guys seen any mammoths?
Yeah, a whole heard went that way.
OK, thanks. Hey, if you help me hunt them, we can split the meat. That way, no one goes hungry.
Hey, good idea! I bet the women will really be grateful to us!
Yeah, I wouldn’t bet on that…but at least we won’t be hungry anymore!
Have we now moved the goalposts so we need the same ratio on lifeboats as are on the ship? XD
I wonder what other delineations we do this for too? xD Race? Sexuality? Gender identity? o_O
“Men who are open and venerable to everything and everyone usually end up dead quicker then those who try to make do.”
Well, yeah, given that if someone is described as “venerable” there’s usually a distinct hint of “elderly” to the description.
Captain Bathrobe
“False dichotomy. Being able to “suck it up” when necessary does not preclude the ability to be aware of, manage, and process emotions when in a safer situation. In fact, I would argue that the ability to do both as needed is far more adaptive than just being good at suppressing emotions.”
Well there is several arguments against that.
Sucking it up does mean to manage to some degree on your own. The purpose and idea behind it is too try to move on with your life. Because talking about it gets you nowhere.
I could talk about how I want to meet this girl and process the information all day and think about every conceivable possibility, but it can become redundant if I don’t actually go up and talk to her (through action).
I could talk about how I want to meet this girl and process the information all day and think about every conceivable possibility, but it can become redundant if I don’t actually go up and talk to her (through action).
Nothing stops you from going up and talking to her 😀
ANd the ppl you talked to about her might have good advice 😀
Basically option 2 gets the same result as option 1 (i mean you can suck it up and not do anything too, ultimately action is up to the person in either option) but can give you more information 😀
@ Ami Angelwings
“Have we now moved the goalposts so we need the same ratio on lifeboats as are on the ship? XD
I wonder what other delineations we do this for too? xD Race? Sexuality? Gender identity? o_O”
Oh do you want to move on?
Is your mind getting bored?
What is your name? Isn’t gender just a social construct? After such gender based names keeps you down. Don’t you want to be truly gender neutral and explore every avenue of identity?
Besides, you don’t seem to be sucking up your anger and complaints about feminism. xD
What is your name? Isn’t gender just a social construct? After such gender based names keeps you down. Don’t you want to be truly gender neutral and explore every avenue of identity?
No? o_O
I chose my name btw 😀
Gender isn’t a social construct. Gender ROLES are a social construct. xD
“Besides, you don’t seem to be sucking up your anger and complaints about feminism. xD”
I’m curious as to why the whole “suck it up” philosophy doesn’t apply to, say, what happened on the Titanic.
I don’t want to move on 😀 I want you to answer the questions ppl ask you :3
You’re the one who moved the goalposts about amount o_O
My name is Ami btw 😀 IRL and online. And I chose both :3
There’s also the fact that what you’re doing here, my trolly friend, is venting emotion. Discussing your feelings, in fact. If it’s so useless why are you doing it?
He’s switched topics again o_O
Do you… want advice on dating btw? o_O
I’m not that experienced (compared to some of the ppl here who are dating GODS O_O ) but I can help some 🙂
I like giving advice and helping ppl through their problems 😀
(oh btw an example is several ppl on MBZ have talked to me about their problems and I’ve raised money to help them from other ppl on MBZ 🙂 )
@ Ami Angelwings
“Nothing stops you from going up and talking to her
ANd the ppl you talked to about her might have good advice
Basically option 2 gets the same result as option 1 (i mean you can suck it up and not do anything too, ultimately action is up to the person in either option) but can give you more information ”
No. Sucking it up allows me to put everything aside and try to just do something rather then over rationalizing it. It gives me the ability to try to move on and overcompensate in some area. Like I said it is a self defense mechanism. Not something that what taught for some conspiracy theory of keeping men down by “the media,” or the “patriarchy,” or what have you.
Men (some women as well) who teach it are doing so out of experience of things they learned the hard way.
It allows me to press on in such hardships. Because being open didn’t help at all. That is why I’m not open anymore.
@ Ami Angelwings
“Do you… want advice on dating btw? o_O
I’m not that experienced (compared to some of the ppl here who are dating GODS O_O ) but I can help some
I like giving advice and helping ppl through their problems
(oh btw an example is several ppl on MBZ have talked to me about their problems and I’ve raised money to help them from other ppl on MBZ )”
Your the one who said you were bored. So I changed topics. Isn’t that what you wanted?
No I’m using examples. I fine. I don’t need your advice.
No. Sucking it up allows me to put everything aside and try to just do something rather then over rationalizing it. It gives me the ability to try to move on and overcompensate in some area.
It CAN. But it can also have you acting while you’re in pain, your judgement is clouded and your options aren’t fully explored. Also it means you have to deal with things alone when it might have been better to have strength and support in numbers :3
The point is “sucking it up” is a bad RULE, just like “talking forever in circles” would be a bad RULE but nobody is advocating the latter xD
@ CassandraSays
“There’s also the fact that what you’re doing here, my trolly friend, is venting emotion. Discussing your feelings, in fact. If it’s so useless why are you doing it?”
Why are you assuming that just because I’m on here that I’m venting emotion? How can you be so sure. What clues from typed symbols on electronic piece of hardware gives it away?
Conversations changed. So I changed with them.
Your the one who said you were bored. So I changed topics. Isn’t that what you wanted?
Are you bored? o_O I wanted you to actually talk and answer things 😀
Why are you assuming that just because I’m on here that I’m venting emotion? How can you be so sure. What clues from typed symbols on electronic piece of hardware gives it away?
No matter what she says you’re just going to deny it xD