I’ve been following the Men’s Rights Movement for some time, and I’ve never been quite sure exactly what the major injustices faced by men are. I haven’t really noticed much to speak of in my own life, but evidently there are some and they are really, really bad.
Luckily, in recent days A Voice for Men has begun to clarify the issue for me. For example, AVfM Radio’s new theme song points out two of the worst injustices of all:
- Men having to hold doors open for ladies.
- Ladies wanting to marry us.
But these are not the only important men’s issues out there. In a recent post titled “A hard rains gonna fall: how hard is up to you” (clearly a reference to the famous song by Carly Simon), AVfM head dude Paul Elam spells out the most important issues of all in a set of bullet points. To save the beleaguered men of the world some important man-time I will summarize them for you here. Bullet-time!
- Thomas Ball’s suicide isn’t mentioned on Wikipedia because feminism.
- The Obama administration urged colleges to use the same standard of proof used in most non-criminal cases in their non-criminal disciplinary proceedings dealing with rape cases. Because feminism.
- Australia. Something about Australia. Ok, here’s the deal: Australia is very, very far away from me, like literally on the other side of the planet, and my eyes sometimes glaze over when reading about it. I’m sure whatever Elam is mad about is really bad. It might involve Koalas. Feminist Koalas. But that’s just speculation on my part.
- In India, where women are routinely harassed in public and groped on train cars, there are a tiny number of women-only train cars set up to cut down on the groping.
- In Sweden, a small group of feminists did a theatrical production based on/dealing with the writings of Valarie Solanas. It was performed in some schools.
- “Men constitute the lion’s share of combat deaths[11], workplace deaths[12], suicide deaths[13], and are afflicted with almost every known human malady and disease more frequently and more severely than women.” Obviously, the feminists are to blame, for their staunch opposition to women serving in the armed forces, and for their secret program of giving men girl germs.
- There are agencies dealing with women’s health issues. Clearly, men need to have just as many of their own agencies to deal with such male health issues as not being pregnant.
I hope my summary of these issues has been fair. As Elam has pointed out on a number of occasions, I am fat, so really nothing I do or say has any value. Plus, of course, I am a mangina. Just, you know, FYI.
In any case, these injustices have Elam plenty mad:
I am truly curious as to what festering, morally atrophied deviation of humanity could look at anything approaching this level of discrimination and suffering without becoming angry.
So mad that his metaphors all get up in each other’s business:
Whether it becomes a wave of social change, or a violent tempest of indignation and fury, the pendulum will continue to swing.
So there you have it. Naturally, Elam’s readers are grateful for his efforts to bring justice to the world by yelling about it online and trying to get people really, really mad at certain specific ladies without explicitly advocating violence against them. That’s pretty much how Martin Luther King did it, only with fewer references to “bitches” and “cunts” and not so many threaty remarks.
As Alfred E puts it:
Well said Mr Elam. May the harpies finally get a clue about their complete lack of compassion for men and boys all the while living in a gold box carted around by the prince.
Justice and compassion for all, except you harpies in your gold boxes! And also the rest of the bitches, cunts and manginas.
NOTE: That bit about Carly Simon above was a joke. Obviously the song in question was written by The Bangles.
And I strongly suspect the mere idea that you, or anybody could DO something and IMPROVE yourself in ANY way struck you as misandry.
And? You have an entire lifetime to change that. Go do it.
Please do.
And don’t come around here no more.
Seriously, I know what it’s like to think you have no likability or worth. It’s horrible, and it’s a huge part of why I went off antidepressants.
I really hope you’re seeking help, MRAL. No one should feel that way about themselves.
@Zhinxy: HAHAHAHAH! I was just coming back to post the Tom Petty video which I decided was going to be the theme song for MRAL (just as “Anything You Can do” is the theme song for DKM), and lo, you have brilliantly anticipated me.
Settles back to enjoy video (though my favorite of his song is “You Don’t KnoW What it’s Like (to be me”). I may have to post it here later!
Jesus, MRAL, you are a world class sadsack. If you hate women (wimminz) so much, why do come here to rage and whine? Do we look like your mothers? If I had a kid like you I’d feel like a failure for raising such a shit.
OK, catching up, movies are not real life. Go outside and get a grip. Also, Diablo Cody is hardly a feminist.
Stop saying “since I’ve been alive.” Dude. You’re 20, and you don’t know shit. You make no attempt to know shit, all you are is walking, talking confirmation bias.
I really wish you would stick your flounce once and for all. I was rooting for you, but you pissed that away.
MRAL, depression and feelings of worthlessness still do not excuse asshole behavior. Get help.
“I am (was) just being realistic. I’m not one of the leaders and heroes. Some people are. I know for a fact I’m not.”
Most people are not leaders or heroes. Most people don’t turn that realization into a conviction that an entire gender is being unfairly raised above them even when that’s obviously not true, or a conviction that members of that gender are constantly spitting on them.
Your issue is a combination of mental illness (depression specifically it sounds like) and sexism. You need to stop projecting the unfortunate things that your brain comes up with as a result of the way those two factors interact onto other people and resenting women for (in your estimation) being happier than you are.
There is no feminist conspiracy to make you feel worthless, there’s just a mental illness that you really need to get treatment for. It’s easier to do that during college than at almost any other time in your life, so go do it now, and stop using this blog as an outlet on which to vent your resentment towards women.
Tom Petty: You don’t know how it feels..
Amazingly enough I can identify with the narrator (who i do not assume is the actual person doing the singing) of this song….
Just to be clear, MRAL, since in the past you’ve taken expressions of compassion towards you as a licence to keep lashing out at women – we’re not going to let you do that any more. If you try, we will call you out on it. The fact that you appear to suffer from clinical depression does not make it OK for you to scream “arrogant elitist bitches who sneer at men who dare to touch their robes!” at people.
We, as a group, are not going to tolerate that any more.
MRAL:
First, I do appreciate that you’ve maintained a respectful tone in this thread. (Other people: I wish we could refrain from name calling and yelling at him to leave when he’s behaving reasonably. You don’t have to talk to him, of course.)
Second, I agree that it would be nice if mooks were equally female and male. I wish you didn’t feel the need to prove “and it’s biased against ME!” in a case where we agree about something being bad and needing to be changed. Can’t it be bad for both groups, for both of the reasons stated?
I also don’t understand, if mooks were 50/50, how that would help you. Wouldn’t you still identify with the male mooks more than with anyone else in the story? Wanting more non-traditional heroes is certainly a reasonable thing to ask, but I don’t see what that has to do with mooks getting killed. Unless you want all the mooks to always be female? Or there to be no mooks at all?
Unfortunately, Katz, he starts out reasonable and devolves from there.
I really don’t like him being a point of divisiveness.
RE Katz’s point, I think part of the underlying issue here is that the reality of the universe is that most people are mooks. Leaders, heroes, etc are glorified and valued because they’re rare and unusual in some way. If you look at the few examples of strong female protagonists, they’re no more ordinary than their male counterparts. They’re “special” in some way, which is why they’re the center of the story. This is how mythology works, and also how most storytelling that’s done on an epic scale works. It’s not about gender.
The only real exceptions that I can think of are harem anime, which centers around the idea of a totally ordinary young man who for some reason a whole group of women and girls adore and fawn over (his ordinariness is the point – it’s fanservice) and Twilight, in which a totally ordinary girl is fawned over by tons of people for no apparent reason (this is also fanservice – those books are basicaly the world’s most successful Mary Sue fanfiction).
@Katz: I don’t see much evidence of him behaving reasonably in this thread–I will grant he’s not calling names. Yet
But the “I have it so much worse than girls” and the “media is misandric” is eminently UNreasonable.
I’m actually really interested in this topic. As someone who has basically worshipped at the cult of masculinity since he was a kid, I’ve never had a problem finding superheroes as someone to aspire to be. But, as a South Asian kid raised on Western media, I did sometimes wonder why people like me were always the butt of the joke. And I was lucky that I grew up in a predominantly black country. All the cool black characters were always depicted as people that had to deal with racism so they were always being shit on for something that they couldn’t change and that was very relatable to me. If I grew up in a predominantly white country, I can imagine it would have been extra demoralizing.
In terms of protagonists, I don’t really know what I want. It’s hard to have a non-proactive hero, I get that. I feel like being male has exacerbated my self-esteem issues. One way to help remedy this is female mooks. That’s all I’m arguing.
Yes, all women have totally high self-esteem. All of us. Everydamnday is puppies, kittens, and unicorns that fart glitter. Free shoes and all the bon bons you can eat. It’s PARADISE!!!
I know exactly one real-life hero. It looks exhausting. I’m OK with my mookdom.
MRAL: Because women exist only to bolster YOUR self-esteem. This is why you tend to piss a number of us off.
Just giving you my perception. I do think being male has exacerbated my self-esteem issues. I do think men are treated as disposable.
Am off to bed now, but leaving you all with this: YOU ARE A SHINING LIGHT
Aww, MRAL, your posts in this thread are making me sad 🙁
We’re the same age, so we would’ve grown up with a lot of the same media. I also had a lot of self-esteem/depression issues when I was younger, and I never felt like I could relate to the characters in any work of fiction. For me, the big issue was that just about every female character in the works I grew up with were very pretty, and I thought I was hideous. I loved Harry Potter at first because Hermione was described as smart instead of pretty, but then the movies came out and it turned out she was pretty as well. I hated those movies for years because I was so disappointed. It felt like being an ugly girl made me completely worthless.
I think you’re right that there’s not enough variety in the kind of heroes we have in popular culture. I don’t think it’s a misandry problem, but it does need to be changed. For instance, I feel like there are very few (none?) gay action heroes, and this is pretty sad for gay young people who don’t get to see heroes that are like them.
You’re definitely not the only person who doesn’t relate to the main characters in works of fiction, and I know exactly how awful it feels. Fortunately, now that you’re an adult and have internet access, you can seek out films etc that aren’t generic Hollywood productions and feature more varied main characters. Hooray!
To be, or not to be,—that is the question:—
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?—To die,—to sleep,—
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to,—’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To die,—to sleep;—
To sleep! perchance to dream:—ay, there’s the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of despis’d love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would these fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,—
The undiscover’d country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns,—puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought;
And enterprises of great pith and moment,
With this regard, their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.—Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia!—Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember’d.
You know, I think working with celebrities sometimes pretty much cured any possible resentment that I might have ever felt about the whole special amazing people who’re heroes versus everyone else thing. In my experience, many of those people actually ARE special in some way, which is how they became famous. The ones who aren’t all that exceptional by nature work much harder than I would be willing to, and have often made sacrifices that I would be unwilling to make. The ones who’re super ridiculously successful are both unusually talented AND unusually hard working. Remember the dude I mentioned who I had to interview over Chrismas? He worked all the way through Christmas, got up early in the morning on the 26th in order to fit in an interview with me before getting on a plane to Asia, and had another full plate of stuff scheduled for as soon as he got off that flight (during which he was also going to work). I think he sleeps less than 5 hours a night, and he’s been doing that for 20 years. And that’s on top of already being far more talented than most people could ever hope to be, and at this point if he tried to slow down people would be pissed off and resentful and bad things would be said about him in the media. Not only do you actually have to be special to fit into the hero-protagonist role, it comes with lots of lots of expectations and responsibilties. There’s a reason so many celebrities end up dead in a hotel room with a needle in their arm.
In the end happiness requires accepting who you are and what your role is in the social order. Struggling against actual injustice is a good and righteous and necessary thing to do, but going “I’m never going to be the hero so I hate myself and I’m going to try to find someone or something to blame that on” is both self destructive and unfair to the people you’re blaming stuff on. Being ordinary is, well, ordinary – it’s the norm. It’s neither a reason to hate yourself nor a reason to resent other people.
MRAL, I don’t think I understand your point about how more female mooks would help with your problems identifying with the heroes. If you feel the male heroes are unrealistic and you identify with the mooks, how would female mooks change that?
See, that sounds to me like a classic, very sexist way of looking at the world in which the super pretty heroine-type women are the only ones that men notice, and therefore they assume that those are the only women who exist, therefore female mooks would represent an evening of the scales of justice because…something. The missing step is some sort of sexist delusion that I can’t quite wrap my head around.