Categories
antifeminism evil women hypocrisy I'm totally being sarcastic idiocy masculinity MGTOW MGTOW paradox misandry misogyny oppressed men PUA

Some of those video game princesses ain’t so Peachy

Why can't they all be like Princess Peach?

It’s almost impossible to catalogue all the ways men are oppressed by women in contemporary gynocratic society. There are so many! For example, did you know that men are oppressed by female characters in video games? I know, right? The last bastion of red-blooded manliness, invaded by imaginary ladies!

Luckily, the fellows at MGTOWforums.com are on the case, exposing this foul virtual misandry. I Am started off a recent discussion on the subject by asking

WTF is with empowered women in video games now? …

I see a new trend in the video/computer game world and that is the increase in strong playable female characters.

Now, I am no hardcore gamer but I do play computer games often and the recent one I have been playing recently is Shogun 2 total war. Now for those who don’t know what this game is, it is a strategy game based on the military of feudal Japan. I recently bought an upgrade for the game the other day and guess what one of the strongest military units was? Nuns. I shit you not. The nuns had an attack 20% -40% higher than most units in the game. Somehow I doubt that in real life a nun would have swung a sword or used a spear faster and harder than a feudal warlord, and this game was based on history.

Clearly nuns are incapable of manlike swordplay, though it is true that they are capable reenacting famous internet panda sneeze videos. (I have seen video proof of this.) But Shogun 2 does not depict them sneezing like pandas. It depicts them fighting.

This is an outrage because video games are meant to be a perfectly accurate reflection of reality.  Obviously there is nothing even slightly unrealistic about any of this:

Most of us dudes are in fact capable of karate-chopping heads in two. We just don’t like to show off all the time.

I think I have the right to ask steam and other gaming companes: WTF with the subliminal brainwashing? What now when I buy or play a game women will be doing all the ass kicking? …

I call bullshit on this subject. Video games are the last place for guys to hang out and now women are taking over. Why not just save us the trouble and instead of eliminating our fantasy world just throw us in work camp to provide for thier bastard children (literally speaking) while they shit all over us…wait they already do that.

I Am is not the only dude who’s noticed this alarming femtrend. Goldenfetus added his observations:

I’ve noticed this too, and it drives me insane. Was co-oping Gears 3 last month and there’s a point where 2nd player has to take over a female character. Almost ruined the game for me. It may seem minor, but once you’re aware of this type of brainwashing it’s impossible to ignore. There’s no way a slim female could keep up with the massive battle-hardened male Gears in that kind of environment. They would be a liability as they are in real life combat.

Exactly! By contrast, the male characters in Gears of War 3 are all completely accurate representations of real-world men.

This is what dudes look like, for real.

Goldenfetus continued:

You’ll see the same thing in most stat-based role-playing games as well, where you have the option of a female player character – like Fallout, Elder Scrolls, Mass Effect, Dragon Age, D&D, etc. The women never have any strength or intelligence penalties compared to the males. … They want to give the impression that people of any race, gender, and sexual-orientation are interchangeable – that there are no differences in ability between them, and that only a bigot could think otherwise. I’m sick of it too.

At the very least, female characters should be depicted as carriers of cooties.

Despite the very serious subject matter – video game misandry is never funny! – Xtc tried to lighten the mood with a little humor:

It would be hilarious to portray the female characters realistically. If you chose the female character in your FPS [First Person Shooter] she would have to move very slowly, dragging the gun around. You could build in some extra shake to the crosshairs to represent hopeless accuracy. Every time you needed to reload your gun, instead of just pressing a button, you’d have to find a male character and go through some flirting dialogue options to persuade him to do it for you. One out of every four missions the game would tell you that you were sitting out this one due to ‘women’s issues’.

Calloway, for his part, offered some historical perspective:

This is nothing new. I got heavy into gaming back in the late 90’s and even back then they had Tomb Raider, S.I.N., etc. Even in the original Unreal, you played as a big-breasted female.

I saw a documentary on the making of the original Tomb Raider once. The lead character, Lara Croft, was originally going to be a man. They saw him as an Indiana Jones-type character. Then, one of the designers suggested it be a woman because “if you’re going to be playing a game for hours, you might as well have something good to look at”. …

When you first take the red pill, it’s amazing the things you see. It’s as if you had blinders on before, and all of sudden they’ve been removed, allowing you to actually understand what you’ve been seeing.

Yep. And what you’ve been seeing is Lara Croft’s ass. Lara Croft’s ass oppresses men! The red pill tells me so!

Also, those tiny misandrist shorts just make the gynpression worse.

Now we come to the clincher.

When you try to get romantic with the imaginary ladies in video games, they don’t act like Roissy and those dudes say ladies act. I mean, you can’t even neg them! As Dave sadly pointed out:

I remember about 12 years ago playing the Baldur’s Gate rpg series and there were some romance dialog paths between your character and some of the women who could join your group but you had to treat them very nice. You couldn’t give them any attitude or make fun of them otherwise it would be over.

Basically you have to be a total mangina towards women in most games if you want to bed them.

Even imaginary ladies are stuck up bitches!

The horror!

 

I had a

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

599 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
ohmycarling
9 years ago

point one: my mother was the top marksperson in her government training class, of approximately 200 men and women (in the 1980s, so probably mostly men).

point two: OMG I KNOW RIGHT I CAN’T DO ANYTHING WHEN I HAVE MY PERIOD LOL LOL LOL I’M JUST GLAD NONE OF MY FRIENDS HAVE NOTICED I COMPLETELY DISAPPEAR AND STOP GOING TO WORK FOR A WEEK OUT OF EVERY MONTH LOL

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

That’s right, guys, women can’t possibly shoot or reload a gun:

Caraz
Caraz
9 years ago

Female units in a strategy game having good stats? This must be a result of female empowerment brainwashing. It can’t possibly have been the result of game balancing or to increase unit variety. Oh no…

This actually worries me, since it shows these MGTOWers can’t even shut up and enjoy a hobby like videogames without seeing nefarious plots by the gynocracy.

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

Aw, Dave, you have be nice (not Nice) to women IRL to bed them. No guarantees, but it helps.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

The sad thing about this article, though, is how similar it is to a lot of discussion in mainstream gaming forums. There’s a lot of talk out there about how cruel it is to force the player (obviously male) to play as a woman, and a lot of “but that’s just ordinary” about the umpty-billion games where you’re forced to play as a man.

(Ditto with white and straight. Considering the kerfluffle over games where being gay is even an option, can you imagine the reaction to a game where loving someone of the same gender was a compulsory part of the plotline?)

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
9 years ago

“Somehow I doubt that in real life a nun would have swung a sword or used a spear faster and harder than a feudal warlord, and this game was based on history.”

I for one cannot believe that a video game would take liberties with historical facts

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
9 years ago

Oops, I tried to get it to start at 1:00

unitled
9 years ago

Bwahaha, I can’t believe someone is complaining that men are oppressed by women in video games. What planet do these people live on?

IIRC The shinto monks I think he’s referring to have been in the game (and female) since the very first total war game.

Pecunium
9 years ago

I far prefer to teach women to shoot than I do teaching men. The men tend to show up with the idea they know how to shoot, and that all they need to do is get some, “tips” to be better.

Women tend to listen, and they don’t think the things I’m telling them are, “useless” because it’s not what they are used to/”already know”.

Caraz
Caraz
9 years ago

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onna_bugeisha

They even match the time period and place as the game he’s complaining about. admittedly they aren’t nuns, but you can’t have everything.

Karalora
Karalora
9 years ago

Oddly enough, Goldenfetus kind of has a point about female game sprites being unrealistically thin for the kind of physical activities the characters do. But then he has to turn right back around and decide the solution is to remove female characters altogether, rather than resdesigning them.

I betcha anything that if female game characters were designed with realistic physiques for the physical prowess they display, these guys would complain that they looked like “uggo lesbians.”

unitled
9 years ago

By the way, if you want a way to hate all of the video game community, watch this:

Blue Jean
Blue Jean
9 years ago

I guess those gamers don’t know their kung fu history, or read Beautiful Warrior: The Legend of The Nun’s Kung Fu, or they’d know that Bruce Lee’s technique was originally developed by a Buddhist nun.

Cagliostro
Cagliostro
9 years ago

Dave probably tried to romance Viconia … first fanboyish irreal-crush of my life. Well, drow are not for the ogrish.

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
9 years ago

In Super Mario Brothers 2 for the original NES, Princess Toadstool was a playable character instead of a damsel in distress to rescue. The MGTOW must hate that game. “What do you mean Peach helps Mario? Women can’t jump on Koopa troopas and use their turtle shells to kill Bob Ombs. That’s misandry!!!!!!!!” They might be able to handle Metroid, since Samus Aran wore a suit that hid the fact that she’s a woman. Then again, if you beat the game, you can see her in a bikini, and of course fan service for straight men is also misandry!!!!!!!

Major Kong
Major Kong
9 years ago

This guy has obviously never seen my wife shoot 1-inch groups with her Colt Python .357

QuantumSparkle
QuantumSparkle
9 years ago

Hey ladies? Did you know that video games are the last man-fort left in the world? Unfortunately, because we ladies keep trying to break in with our feminist siege towers, the MGTOW defenders have really suffered intolerable hardships! Having the option of playing a video game as a female character is a soul crushing experience, … er… for some reason!

In other news, I probably read those same comments in a thread at kotaku once.

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
9 years ago

Wow, were there any qualifications to be a contestant on that show at all?

Shadow
Shadow
9 years ago

WTF David?! You mean I’ve been trying to GOW my body for nothing?

@Blue Jean

Put aside history, have they not watched any kung fu movies!

Lady Zombie
Lady Zombie
9 years ago

I’m actually shocked that some MGTOWer hasn’t posted a shrill article about how you have the option of getting married in Skyrim, and how it’s obvious an evil plot by the gynocracy to brainwash young men into getting married and giving their wives money (Skyrim spouses give you 100 gold per day).

Yeah, about that. In Skyrim you don’t have to get married, you can also marry a spouse of the same gender, your spouse actually helps you out by running a shop, your spouse will cook for you, and so on.

I’m disappointed that they haven’t. I’ve been looking forward to elaborate, tin-foil hat diatribes.

I’m playing as a female Khajiit. I may wed some lusty Nord woman just because.

Happy Anti-MRA
Happy Anti-MRA
9 years ago

I wonder what the MRA POV is on non-human, non-gendered characters?

Kong, the toad, mushroom etc?

David, how about a competition to do a treatment for an MRA video game?

To keep things reasonably light (no mass murder etc), the guidelines could be a “platform” game rather than a “shoot ’em up”?

Shadow
Shadow
9 years ago

They want to give the impression that people of any race, gender, and sexual-orientation are interchangeable – that there are no differences in ability between them, and that only a bigot could think otherwise. I’m sick of it too.

I do agree with this though. I mean, if there was going to be any kind of accuracy, wouldn’t the Redguard have the ability to dunk as one of their powers?

Shadow
Shadow
9 years ago

And let’s not even get into the misandry in games like The Sims or Fable, where you have to hide any cheating or your wife’ll divorce you and take half your assets!!! Vile shrews!!! This is Feminism run amok I tell you, AMOK!!

Quackers
Quackers
9 years ago

Hahahaha! these losers really at the real life He-Man Woman Haters Club. I wonder if they post “No Girls Allowed” on their front doors.

lj4adotcomdan
9 years ago

Not only was the princess a playable character in SMB:2, but she was one of the better characters to take in many of the levels. I often chose her instead of the other 3. I guess that makes me a “mangina”.

But I love the whole “Oh noes, I hate that a game based on some fantasy idea has something that I do not find realistic” idea belonging to the MRA.

I can see it now “Women can’t do that, this game sucks. I am gonna go play my other game where I can strap on a jetpack, fueled by nuclear fusion, and travel by warp speed to another galaxy where I can use my laser guns to defeat the evil lizard alien hordes trying to take over planet Earth”.

Captain Bathrobe
Captain Bathrobe
9 years ago

Apparently, taking the red pill makes you not able to appreciate CGI booty. Color me…completely indifferent.

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
9 years ago

I wonder what the MRA POV is on non-human, non-gendered characters?

Kong, the toad, mushroom etc?

Wouldn’t they treat all characters as default men unless they had feminine names or pink dresses? Unless the piranha plant has a bow on hir head, people will assume zie is a man.

blitzgal
9 years ago

I dunno, ya think that the (probably male) game developers made ninja nuns because THEY THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY? Nope, must be misandry. FFS.

wajib
wajib
9 years ago

ng85 writes, “Well, if female empowerment in games prevents escort missions where you protect some whining woman who keeps walking into walls, then I’m all for them.”

I think this one is accidentally onto something.

blitzgal
9 years ago

And let’s not even get into the misandry in games like The Sims or Fable, where you have to hide any cheating or your wife’ll divorce you and take half your assets!!! Vile shrews!!! This is Feminism run amok I tell you, AMOK!!

Also, you get to play AS A WOMAN in those games!! And, you can have same sex marriages in them as well! OMG! It’s like game developers are starting to reflect reality in these games! What is happening to the world?!?!?!

vacuumslayer
9 years ago

Oh man. Just fucking build your fucking NO GIRLS ALLOWED tree fort and fucking rot in it.

JESUS. Could these little boys be any more pathetic?

vacuumslayer
9 years ago

“Women can’t do that, this game sucks. I am gonna go play my other game where I can strap on a jetpack, fueled by nuclear fusion, and travel by warp speed to another galaxy where I can use my laser guns to defeat the evil lizard alien hordes trying to take over planet Earth”.

Sure, laugh, mangina. But that shit happens to my husband ALL THE TIME.

Captain Bathrobe
Captain Bathrobe
9 years ago

Playing a female avatar in Second Life was certainly an eye-opening experience–both positive and negative. On the plus side, I got more attention. On the negative side, I got more attention. It was creepy enough dealing with unwanted attention in a space where I could log off, let alone in real life.

It was astonishing the number of guys who would say “hey, sexy baby, you have web cam?” It was like being stalked by Borat.

Major Kong
Major Kong
9 years ago

“Kong, the toad, mushroom etc?”

“Major Kong” was the B-52 pilot in the movie Dr. Strangelove (Stanley Kubrick). The part was played by Slim Pickens.

And yes, I really did fly B-52s.

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
9 years ago

Would the MGTOW enjoy games like Rumble Roses, Dead or Alive: Beach Volleyball, or Grand Theft Auto? Surely they can find some games that objectify women enough for their tastes. It’s not like there’s a shortage of sexist video games.

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
9 years ago

Playing a female avatar in Second Life was certainly an eye-opening experience–both positive and negative. On the plus side, I got more attention. On the negative side, I got more attention. It was creepy enough dealing with unwanted attention in a space where I could log off, let alone in real life.

It was astonishing the number of guys who would say “hey, sexy baby, you have web cam?” It was like being stalked by Borat.

It’s sad, but sometimes I play online games with my husband’s gamer profile so I can avoid all the creepy come on lines and sammich jokes. I don’t always have the patience to deal with it.

darksidecat
darksidecat
9 years ago

A traditional Japanese sword weighs about six pounds, even a pregnant woman can safely lift that shit. Most guns aren’t that heavy either. I’ve seen my mother fire a rifle, kill livestock with hatchets, use a sledgehammer, etc. It rather baffles me that these men don’t think any woman could even lift 6-10 lbs (spears aren’t incredibly heavy either) or reload a gun. Reloading a gun in general isn’t overly hard and doesn’t take a huge amount of physical strength. Even muskets are totally doable, my little sister has slender female friend who isn’t even five feet tall who goes musket hunting and rifle hunting. Shit, the level of physical strength these guys seem to think the average woman has is so low it’s a miracle they believe a woman could carry groceries or her own infant children.

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
9 years ago

“Would the MGTOW enjoy games like Rumble Roses, Dead or Alive: Beach Volleyball, or Grand Theft Auto? Surely they can find some games that objectify women enough for their tastes. It’s not like there’s a shortage of sexist video games.”

I think MGTOWers would enjoy one of those Japanese hentai games where you go around groping women on the subway.

ithiliana
9 years ago

hahahahahahahah–the feminist cootie takeover of the world moves on apace! Quiver, ye fearful trolls, for we shall rule ALLL!

Lauralot
Lauralot
9 years ago

Men are oppressed
This I know
For the red pill tells me so
Ladies take over the games
Brainwashing drives me insane

Yes, men are oppressed
Yes, men are oppressed
Yes, men are oppressed
The red pill tells me so

Caraz
Caraz
9 years ago

Grand Theft Auto? Pssh You can have a girlfriend in that game and you actually have to spend time with the ELITIST BITCH otherwise she gets mad…

How’d I do? Is that accurate to MRA-ish thinking?

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
9 years ago

Who was the first one to start this ‘red pill’ bullshit? I realize it’s a reference to the Matrix, but who was the first MRA to say, “OMG, this is just like my life!” ?

Captain Bathrobe
Captain Bathrobe
9 years ago

Grand Theft Auto? Pssh You can have a girlfriend in that game and you actually have to spend time with the ELITIST BITCH otherwise she gets mad…

How’d I do? Is that accurate to MRA-ish thinking?

Mmmm…needs more spelling and grammar errors, more random curse words, and at least one reference to “cupcake” or “princesses.”

Falconer
Falconer
9 years ago

@darksidecat: Perhaps it has something to do with the sword or the gun or whatever being a stand-in for their penis.

Only men have penises, therefore only men can use guns properly. Women who try to use guns are attempting to appropriate the penis for themselves, and not having one of their own, they fail at it.

Or something. The above was not a serious attempt to explain How Things Is.

I am very thankful that Bioware and Bethesda and game companies like that take pains to make sure you can play a woman or a man in their games and the games themselves don’t treat you any different.

I have seen the “women should take a hit to strength and/or intelligence” argument in the realm of tabletop RPGs. One person wrote in to Dragon Magazine round about 2001 and was magnanimously offering to allow women characters to bear children in exchange for a -2 to Strength, while men characters got +2 Strength and the ability to father children.

I keep trying to show people that folks who play D&D aren’t pimply lonely teens with poor hygiene, but sometimes it’s hard …

Lauralot
Lauralot
9 years ago

Why don’t these guys go play Custer’s Revenge?

Kyrie
Kyrie
9 years ago

The idea that, when a (presumably) straight man said to other men: “how about putting a woman with the physic of a model as the hero? That’s something that many straight men will find sexy (especially if she’s fighting) and they will enjoy looking at her butt all game long.” it is feminist brainwashing is hilarious.

Fatman
Fatman
9 years ago

I know this is a pretty minor point, but I remember in the old Baldur’s Gate games the romance options depended on the character you were romancing. Each of the 4 romancable characters were different and required different styles to complete the romances, including one that would look down on you for being too nice. What Dave seems to be complaining about is that even scripted virtual women from the 90’s have too many personality traits, that he has to take into account which of the extremely limited pre programmed response trees each character is obviously on. The three romancable female characters in that game were so obviously virgin, mother, and whore, and yet he complains that the romance option was not sexist enough. I suppose pointing out that this is ridiculous is obvious, but it is also the purpose of this site, so here you go. This Dave fellow is ridiculous.

vacuumslayer
9 years ago

@darksidecat…

My son is now 8 months old. He’s been able to hold his head up since birth and he is not a petite child. He is incredibly strong. And he has decided that when he shits his pants and his diaper needs changing this is the perfect time to try out for new some new, weird poop-related Olympic event. It’s pretty much a 3-person job. One time I had the help of 2 grown men. It was still really hard. Yet I manage to muddle through.

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
9 years ago

@Kyie: I came to an MRA Youtube video, and one of the comments (from an MRA) was making fun of the video-maker, pointing out how fat he was among other things. I forget the exact words, but basically the insulted guy blamed feminism for making the man angry enough to insult him. There is nothing that they cannot blame feminists/women for.

Blueinkedpalm
Blueinkedpalm
9 years ago

I remember about 12 years ago playing the Baldur’s Gate rpg series and there were some romance dialog paths between your character and some of the women who could join your group but you had to treat them very nice. You couldn’t give them any attitude or make fun of them otherwise it would be over.

Hey, that’s not fair! One of the women who can romance you in Baldur’s Gate will dump you if you are too much of a pushover and not mean enough. Whereas if you play as a woman, you have only one love interest instead of three and he definitely will dump you even if you are only a little mean to him. Also on that note in Baldur’s Gate oppression of men, if you tell the wingless winged elf that you were thinking of having sex with her but just can’t get over those horrible scarred lumps on her back, she will dump you and leave; and if you tell the fighting widow that her dead husband was a weakling who deserved his fate, she will also dump you and leave.

1 2 3 12