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The All-Singing, All-Dancing Men’s Rights Movement

Not a picture of Jade Michael and the FTSU Crew

The Men’s Rights Movement now has a theme song! A couple of talented young men calling themselves Jade Michael and the FTSU Singers Crew have put together a catchy little grunge rock number they call Go My Own Way, which will now serve as the opening music for the A Voice for Men internet radio show.

As AVfM head cheese Paul Elam puts it, straining his prose-generating abilities to the breaking point as he attempts to find words eloquent enough to describe this new musical masterpiece:

Jade Michael, artist, professional musician and MRA, founder of Artistry Against Misandry, has taken his talent hammer and given it a mighty swing to our benefit.  He has forged, in the fires of his own passion, the new theme song for AVfM Radio, titled Go My Own Way. It is not to be confused with the similarly titled offering from Fleetwood Mac, Go Your Own Way. No, not in the least. Jade, with his band, Jade Michael and the FTSU Crew, have produced a veritable anthem for the red pill crowd. It is replete with a great, purist rock sound, a touch of humor, attitude, and a ton of gut level, red pill honesty. Pay close attention to the end for the invocation of Thomas James Ball.

Without further ado, here’s the song:


You can find the full lyrics on YouTube and on AVfM. But I thought I’d share a few of my favorite bits.

The song starts off by addressing one of the most savage injustices faced by men today: evil ladies who expect men to hold doors open for them.

And we’re through with holding doors
Entitlements abound
You say that we still hold you down
And you cop that attitude
No remorse or gratitude

Seriously, ladies, would it hurt you to say “thank you” once in a while, to the men who literally enable you to walk through walls, by holding open the doors you would otherwise be unable to open? To paraphrase Barbie: Doors are hard!

Then there’s this bit:

You’re obsessed with my ability
I won’t be your utility
I’ll never carry you
And I sure won’t marry you

Women around the world, consider what you’re losing here: no longer can you expect to marry guys who hate you so much they made a song about how they won’t hold doors open for you!

And let’s not forget:

Cos’ the time has come to fuck your shit up
The time has come to fuck your shit up
The time has come to fuck your shit up

Perhaps I’m missing some of the subtleties here, but this sort of suggests to me that Jade and the Gang are not so much Men Going Their Own Way as they are Men Still Hanging Around Acting Like Assholes — not MGTOW but MSHAALA.

I appreciate the efforts of Jade Michael and the MSHAALA, but I can’t really help but think of this little song-and-dance number, from the excellent Belgian horror film Calviare (The Ordeal), as the Men’s Rights movement’s unofficial anthem.

In case you’re wondering, this scene makes a little bit more sense in the context of the movie itself. A little bit. It’s actually quite a brilliant little film with some interesting gender stuff going on in it, if you can deal with fairly violent horror films. But, oh my lord, TRIGGER WARNINGS for pretty much every trigger there is.

NOTE: In case you’re wondering about the song’s reference to Thomas Ball:  Ball burned himself to death outside a courthouse in Keane, New Hampshire last year in a protest against what he saw as unfair treatment in family court. He hoped that his suicide would inspire other men to start firebombing courthouses and police stations. (This wasn’t mere rhetoric; in the lengthy manifesto he left behind he provided tips on how to make effective Molotov cocktails.) Naturally, many in the MRM have hailed him as a martyr for Men’s Rights.

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Rachel
9 years ago

I really want there to be a music video…

rper1959
9 years ago

Anything new from your side of the divide David since ” I am woman hear me roar?”

blitzgal
9 years ago

“Raper” managed to miss the entire Riot Grrl genre.

Happy Anti-MRA
Happy Anti-MRA
9 years ago

OMG….

Elam must be aware of just now… *bad* that song is!!! I mean, he’s a child of the 60s and 70s isn’t he?

That’s just so incredibly awful – it’s like a parody of a parody.

If Manboobz decided to make a spoof film about the MRM, that would be the type of song and lyrics for the theme tune.

I am speechless…

Niki M. Quirkypants
9 years ago

…I’m so confused. Aren’t they supposed to be Going Their Own Way already? Why the goodbye song?

red_locker
9 years ago

A theme song? Really?!

…I am afraid to actually listen to it.

I’m listening to some actually good House music by Vanguard, along with some Jazz music, and I’m afraid that listening to this theme song will make me very, very sad. So…yeah.

Lauralot
Lauralot
9 years ago

@Niki: Whenever I hear the term “MTGOW,” my mental image is always of a little boy standing in front of the door and threatening to run away from home. For the twelfth time that day. “I mean it! I’m really leaving this time!”

Nova
Nova
9 years ago

When are they going to actually go their own way? They’ve started forums to discuss how to do it, dedicated websites to doing it, have made plans to stand on street corners in matching t-shirts to announce that they’re going to do it, they’ve written e-books detailing why and how to do it and now they’ve written a pithy little song to announce that they’re going to do it.

Just.
Fucking.
Do.
It.
Already.

Joanna
9 years ago

LMAO! It sounds like a montage song! If there’s a video it has to involve a montage of a bunch of guys trying to pick up chicks, failing miserably and then slowly going their own way. They should all have mullets and wear aviator sunglasses too.

Buttman
Buttman
9 years ago

This is hilarious. It’s probably someone trolling the MRM. Only rap artists can come up with good anthems for men.

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
9 years ago

>>“Raper” managed to miss the entire Riot Grrl genre.

These MRAs seem to be so knowledgeable about music, they probably think you’re talking about the Spice Girls.

Shadow
Shadow
9 years ago

@BlackBloc

I don’t know why, but I can’t stop reading your comment as a parody of Carly Simon

Moewicus
Moewicus
9 years ago

“Red pill honesty” is my new favorite oxymoron. I mean, it’s not an oxymoron in The Matiix, but the correct term in the context of AVfM is “red pill self-delusion.” I wonder if 2012 will generate any better MROxymorons. Here’s hoping!

Cloudiah
Cloudiah
9 years ago

His talent hammer? I kind of love that! Maybe that is what he is fucking shit up with? I really need a talent hammer, I think, ‘cos I have a lot of shit to fuck up, creatively you know.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

If you want to highlight the injustices against yourselves, fellas, don’t lead with the door thing. Sheesh.

Also I really want “fuck their shit up” narrowly defined. Are they going to fuck my shit up by not marrying me (oh no please not that briar patch), or are they going to do things more traditionally considered fucking a woman’s shit up? It seems like they want to hang on to the plausible deniability that they mean the first, while heavily, heavily implying the second.

Oh, dear, this is priceless though:

Jade Michael and the FTSU Crew is:
Vocals: Lance Jones
Guitar: Jade Michael and Lance Jones
Bass: Jade Michael
Drums: Jade Michael
Synth: ? and the Mysterians

One guy and a sample is his “crew.”

red_locker
9 years ago

Ok, I’ve listened to a minute of it…

That was enough.

Seriously, it’s like a 12 year old wrote this shit. Plus, it’s so…soft, for “Rock” song. Seriously, Gojira would eat these guys for a snack.

Nova
Nova
9 years ago

Two guys? That’s almost as sad as the MRA convention where the organizer was really happy to have four guys show up, because it was only him and another guy the year before.

It also explains the… quality of the song.

Lauralot
Lauralot
9 years ago

@raper:

Yeah, there have been no female empowerment songs released since the 1970s. At all.

Quackers
Quackers
9 years ago

would rather have the right to vote
than get the first seat on the life boat

would rather get an education
than having you hold the door open

would rather have things be fair
than having you pull out my chair

Fuck chivalry…yeaaaaahhhhh yeaaaaah yeah!!!!

I’m really more of a visual artist 😉

Lauralot
Lauralot
9 years ago

I have a comment in moderation with ten female empowerment songs, all of which were released after “I Am Woman,” and most of which are from the last decade.

So, you’re wrong, raper. Sorry about that.

Joanna
9 years ago

Cos nothing says “I hate women” more than bad 80’s music XD

red_locker
9 years ago

I mean Gojira the metal band, not the giant lizard… If anyone wants a sample of their work, here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eljjOJwlDY

Anti-Moron's-Rights
Anti-Moron's-Rights
9 years ago

The Angry White Boy genre reached its zenith in 1995, with the Smashing Pumpkins’ best-selling Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness:

Key white-boy angst tagline: “Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage.”

…And reached its nadir in 1999, with Limp Bizkit’s Significant Other:

Key white-boy angst tagline:: “We’ve all felt like shit
And been treated like shit,
All those motherfuckers that want to step up,
I hope you know I pack a chain saw,
I’ll skin your ass raw”

(At which point, I turned the radio off permanently.)

Indeed, sophomore lyrics and trite songwriting are nothing new for the Angry White Boy genre. But the genre itself is crowded.

(Full disclosure: I love the Pumpkins, especially the Gish and Siamese Dream-era work. Mmmm. D’arcy Wretzky.)

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Quackers – They have “visual art” too! It’s… well, it’s not giving Judy Chicago a run for her money:

http://www.artistryagainstmisandry.com/Graphic-Art.html

I particularly like “The First Rule of Feminism: Always Lie!”, because as a Jew and a feminist, I believe I am now obligated to always tell the truth.

…In which case I must tell you that the treasure is not behind doors one or three.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Is this an attempt to ensure that even the most self-loathing groupies don’t approach him?

The song is hilarious, by the way. No surprises as to why this dude doesn’t have a record deal. I don’t think I’ve heard rock that shitty since the 80s.

red_locker
9 years ago

Oh, great, they have ART?!

Good god. There’s no medium they can’t sully, can’t they?

At least they won’t touch Video Games- wait, FORGET I SAID THAT!

Anti-Moron's-Rights
Anti-Moron's-Rights
9 years ago

Best Angry White Boy take on 80s rock:

Yeah, Phil Collins was shitty. No doubt about that!

katz
9 years ago

I mean Gojira the metal band, not the giant lizard…

I assume either one would work.

red_locker
9 years ago

“I assume either one would work.”

Actually…yeah.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Best Angry White Boy take on 80s rock:

Christian Bale’s little White-Boy Dance haunted me through both recent Batman movies. How can Batman be the hero Gotham needs or the one it deserves when he’s a serial killer?

Deep thoughts.

katz
9 years ago

Credit where it’s due–Elam manages to keep a consistent “hammer” metaphor for an entire paragraph.

Magnesium
Magnesium
9 years ago

God. It’s not even “so bad it’s funny” bad. It’s just bad. I mean, it’s so bland. There’s no heart or creativity in it at all. It’s supposed to be a protest song about your lifetime of oppression there fellas, not your original entry for grade ten battle of the bands.

Also, I demand a music video.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

I’d love to see someone like Elam try to argue with Yoko. She’s so relentlessly positive and yet so steely, she’d drive him nuts.

Favorite Yoko story – there’s a museum dedicated to her in her hometown, in which you will find a random telephone sitting on a platform in the middle of a room. If the phone rings while you’re there, pick it up, because it’s Yoko calling just to say hi and see how everyone is enjoying the museum.

Joanna
9 years ago

Yoko Ono’s lack of lips have always creeped me out a bit. Ooh! I rhymed that time =D

Quackers
Quackers
9 years ago

@Holly

That “Rod the Riveter” is going to give me nightmares…holy fuck.

If these guys would put the MS Paint down and actually go look at actual good art- concept art for example, they’d see nothing but the heroic, badass, super masculine characters they idealize so much.

Steph
9 years ago

What’s with the doors? Opening doors is not hard. It’s not that hard to open a door for someone else; if you don’t want to do it, chances are they can do it perfectly well for themselves. Unless we’re talking about someone whose hands are full or something, in which case it’s just common courtesy, regardless of the gender of the open-er or the opened-for. (I want to say the “open-ee”, but I guess that’s the door itself.)

If the doors on the Heart of Gold talked to Marvin for long enough, would they become DGTOW and complain about having to open for the crew?

Shadow
Shadow
9 years ago

Can’t we all just get along?

Quackers
Quackers
9 years ago

LOL Shadow xD

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Wait a minute, David. I believe you promised dancing. Where is the dancing?

I think this new theme song calls for an interpretive dance, don’t you?

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

I can’t with these fools, especially when they completely fuck up their lil’ paean to Ball by saying “in vein” instead of what they meant. I guess this way is funnier.

Robert Plant and the boys have nothing to worry about.

Quackers
Quackers
9 years ago

@Anti-Moron’s-Rights

Sadly I must admit, I used to listen to Angry White Boy rock. But then I graduated from high school lol. Although Smashing Pumpkins has a hell of a lot more substance than Limp Bizkit, who’s lyrics are so similar to the MRA song.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

“All he wants is to feel the pleasure he was born with”

So, he was masturbating while being born? Or having sex while…OK, I don’t even want to go there. Are they talking about circumcision? If so you’d think they’d reference it more specifically.

One of the many problems with MRAs is that it’s often difficult to figure out WTF they’re talking about.

Shaenon
9 years ago

I nominate this for MGTOW video.

Shaenon
9 years ago

P.S. The talent hammer is his talent penis.

Shadow
Shadow
9 years ago

@Quackers

No worries, my brown ass is still in love with Angry White Boy Rap, I’m happy to listen to Zeitgeist any day of the week

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Nu metal was kind of a proto-MRA movement in a lot of ways. I once went to see Korn live because another band I liked were opening, and the music itself wasn’t all that bad, but only if you pretend the lyrics don’t exist, and they were paragons of anti-sexism compared to some of their contemporaries. Fred Durst really ought to be the official MRA mascot.

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