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How to spot a feminist

Some feminists can be converted!

Over on Reddit, DoktorTeufel has a problem: he likes the ladies, but he doesn’t like the feminists. Unfortunately, some ladies are also feminists! And therein lies the danger. Naturally, he turns to the fellas in the Men’s Rights subreddit for help.

I’m just going to come out and say it: I will never knowingly enter into a romantic relationship with a feminist. I do have some female relatives and acquaintances who are feminists … and it’s not like they all wear signs that proclaim I’M A FEMINIST. (Some do.)

Aside from obvious telltales (feminist bumper stickers, etc.) or outright asking them “Are you a feminist?”, what are some discreet ways to ferret out a woman’s views on gender activism without creating an awkward situation? Feminism is a minefield topic, and I certainly wouldn’t broach the subject directly with a woman I’ve just started dating.

Naturally, this being the Men’s Rights subreddit, he received much helpful advice. Celda broke it down for him:

You don’t really care whether she identifies as a feminist or not – you care what her views are.

For instance, does she feel women have the right to force men into parental obligations against their will?

Does she feel women are oppressed in Western society?

Does she think that women make less money than men for the same work?

If yes to these questions or similar, then you probably want to avoid her.

Exactly. Always avoid those with a basic grasp on reality. They’re the worst!

Naive1000 suggested looking for more subtle clues.

Ask their thoughts on “benevolent sexism” if they know what your talking about you likely have a feminist. Just to make sure go into male privilege, it’s the feminists’ most popular talking point. Let her talk about it then you can see what she’s really like. But, there are some women who call themselves feminists, but are really egalitarian: they just don’t know the term.

Memymineown also suggests a subtle approach, and holds out hope that some of the younger feminist girls can be won back to the path of righteousness:

Bring Men’s Rights issues into the conversation subtly. I was talking with my family about Justin Beiber and brought up the paternity charge and no rape charges filed against the woman.

That led into a discussion about how women aren’t punished for rape.

Just do things like that.

But you shouldn’t exclude all feminists. I would say that the vast majority are just girls(I do use that word on purpose) who have been lied to. Once you show them the real facts they will probably come around.

ThePigman, by contrast, urges DoktorTeufel to  go for the jugular:

Why do you need to be discrete about it? Just ask her. If she is a member of the cult she will start screaming about the patriarchy, then her head will explode.

It’s true. Pretty much every conversation involving feminists quickly devolves into screaming about patriarchy. Heck, a feminist friend and I once screamed about patriarchy for five hours straight. We probably could have gone longer, but the manager at Applebee’s, evidently not a feminist, threw us out. Sometimes I start screaming about patriarchy when no one else is around, just to keep in practice.

Conversations with feminists pretty much all go like the conversation in the video below, only instead of a cat you need to picture a feminist, and instead of the word “no,” the word “patriarchy.” You can see how annoying that might get, and not just to Hitler.

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Holly Pervocracy
12 years ago

Thats gonna up the price of the “childcare” costs of course. Who’ll pay? The guy or girl making 20K a year?

Shit, man, you tell me. Your answer to “who pays for childcare” so far has been either:

A) “The couple, assuming the man feels like paying in, and assuming they’re able to save up the totally reasonable sum of $20K a year.”

B) “No one, but you also can’t get an abortion, and you can’t refuse sex, sucks to be you.

Holly Pervocracy
12 years ago

CAn I “opt” out? Can anyone “opt” out?

Sure. Quit your job.

But if you’re making money off the US economy, you’re making money from US mothers. You owe them back.

nwoslave
12 years ago

@Holly Pervocracy

This is “your” system that you want. You tell me?

Don’t try to divert back to me. You’re the one that gave me the old “see, if you pay for maternity leave it’ll all be better.”

So tell me. Make it better.

Spearhafoc
12 years ago

A) “The couple, assuming the man feels like paying in, and assuming they’re able to save up the totally reasonable sum of $20K a year.”

The “feels like” part is the key phrase, as NWOslave is staunchly apposed to child support payments.

Spearhafoc
12 years ago

*Opposed, goddangit!

nwoslave
12 years ago

@Holly Pervocracy

What about fathers. They’re working. Work is fantastic and homelife sucks? Are we back to that?

Tell me your system for maternity leave I wanna hear it. I’m sooo stupid rememeber.

I want details, costs, caps, opting out.

nwoslave
12 years ago

@Holly Pervocracy

How much “money” am I making off of US mothers?

Shadow
Shadow
12 years ago

@NWO

You will find that most feminists are actually fully supportive of paternal leave and stay-at-home dads. You seem to be sidestepping the question about abortion however, and we eagerly await your feelings on this matter

hyperdeath
12 years ago

What does the “NWO” in Mr Slave’s name stand for?

Noxious, Whining Obsessive?

Kyrie
Kyrie
12 years ago

New World Order. But your definition works too.

nwoslave
12 years ago

@Shadow

Maternity, paternity. Who cares. I want cold hard numbers.

How’s Social Security working out, shall we run with the same plan?

Shadow
Shadow
12 years ago

@CassandraSays

And I certainly hope that he denounces any of his friends who may ask for a vodka when he’s out not drinking with them, or he mjay fuck around and find out he’s in bed with a commie-lover!!

Holly Pervocracy
12 years ago

NWO, I’m not an accountant nor an economist, and I’m not going to construct an entire system of maternity leave, that applies to everyone, right here in front of you in a blog comment thread.

I will just say that having some sort of system is a hell of a lot better–for fathers as well! think about it!–than your alternative of “pregnant women who aren’t independently wealthy should just um, something, something.”

How much “money” am I making off of US mothers?

That depends. How many of your clients and their customers were raised by mothers?

Spearhafoc
12 years ago

What does the “NWO” in Mr Slave’s name stand for?

“New World Order”.

NWOslave is a conspiracy theorist who believes himself to be a slave of the Illuminati. No, really.

Shadow
Shadow
12 years ago

@NWO

Since I’m not knowledgeable enough about economics, I’m leaving it to those who are. However, abortion?

hyperdeath
12 years ago

NWOslave is a conspiracy theorist who believes himself to be a slave of the Illuminati.

Does he go in for David Icke’s reptilian alien stuff?

nwoslave
12 years ago

Even if we go by the pathetically low cost of $960.00 a year. and a woman gets 20K for 6 months maternity leave. Over a 40 year period of time 2 people father/mother pay 80K, meaning every man/woman would need to have 4 children between them to recoup their wealth.

Somebody that isn’t you is profiting from your wealth.

Shadow
Shadow
12 years ago

ps @hyperdeath

I’m loving the progression of your gravatars and eagerly await the demolition of DOOP!!

“If my wife calls, tell her I said .. Hello”

Spearhafoc
12 years ago

Does he go in for David Icke’s reptilian alien stuff?

Nah, it’s all just boring “international *cough*Jewish*cough* bankers” with him.

nwoslave
12 years ago

@Holly Pervocracy

Raising a child has nothing to do with “profit.” Is that how feminists think of children? Burdens and profits?

Holly Pervocracy
12 years ago

Somebody that isn’t you is profiting from your wealth.

Says the man who wouldn’t have a job if his customer’s mothers hadn’t raised them. Every cent you make (except that paid in by people raised by single fathers or two-father households, I guess) is profit off mothers’ investments.

Holly Pervocracy
12 years ago

Raising a child has nothing to do with “profit.” Is that how feminists think of children? Burdens and profits?

Well, they ain’t free.

Seriously, what’s your plan here?

Say a woman who isn’t independently wealthy, who neglected to save up 100K before activating her uterus, gets pregnant. WHAT NOW?

cynickal
cynickal
12 years ago

How much “money” am I making off of US mothers?

Mothers never buy milk in the US.

nwoslave
12 years ago

@Holly Pervocracy

Always the mother and never the father? Didn’t you youself regail us with a story of your abusive mother and your supportive father? What? He doesn’t get any credit now? Are fathers invisible even if they “have” to work to support you? Did he work for a living to support you?

Lets make this clear once anf for all. Nobody “wants” to work.

Home>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Work.

Shadow
Shadow
12 years ago

@NWO

Raising a child has nothing to do with “profit.” Is that how feminists think of children? Burdens and profits?

Burdens no. Expensive yes. In fact, you will be surprised to find that raising children is expensive for non-feminists too. Really they are.

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