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Russell Brand deals the Feminist Conspiracy a serious setback. But Operation Alimony will prevail!

Uh oh! I just discovered this, currently the top story over on the Men’s Rights subreddit:

Yes, my sisters (and honorary mangina man-sisters), Russell Brand has dealt a severe blow to Operation Alimony, which (as you well know, at least if you’ve been attending the meetings) is our dastardly Feminazi plot to destroy the patriarchy by getting pretty ladies to marry and divorce rich dudes and take all their money.

You may remember our wild revelry when we heard that comrade-ess Heather Mills had walked off (no jokes please) with £24.3 million of Paul McCartney’s man money. And the joyful tears we shed when we heard that Mel Gibson’s ex-wife had (reportedly) scored a cool $425 million in her divorce settlement.

Russell Brand has just spotted a large pile of Katy Perry's money

But today, we shed only the bitterest of tears. We have not only been thwarted, but we’ve also been exposed! Damn those Men’s Rights Redditors and their evil allies at the Daily Mail!

The comments in the r/mensrights thread show that they understand our evil plans all too well. How can we respond to Aetheralloy’s withering critique?

Feminists see the absurdity of their own pushed polices?

LOL no. No they won’t. I’d sooner expect scientologists to ask their psychiatrist if they are in a cult.

But ladies! Do not despair! Russell Brand may have set back our efforts, but he, and his Reddit allies, shall not defeat us!

Ladies, you know what to do. Get yourself all prettied up, hit the town, and snag yourself some rich dudes! Let’s see how many of these guys we can have married off by the end of the year.

Marrying (and divorcing) rich dudes: it’s the feminist way!

 

I had a

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burgundy
burgundy
12 years ago

So… now instead of posting about who we think is hot, or all the decisions we’ve made about who to date, in order to make MRAL think we’re not harridans, now everyone has to post about their relationship status, and whether they’re married or ok with not being married, in order to prove to Alphalady that we’re not jealous? Is that even likely to work?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Have you been breathing in a random, unregulated way? Have you been breathing WHILE SINGLE?

This will not do. For only $19.99 alphalady will teach you how to breathe correctly.

(Obligatory spouse sold separately.)

Shadow
Shadow
12 years ago

@burgundy

It will if we think it will!!!!

Alphalady
Alphalady
12 years ago

Alphalady, you haven’t answered my question either. Does the positive-thinking thing only work for relationships, or will it make all your problems go away everywhere?

Problems never go away. Life is full of ’em. But a positive attitude does make them easier to cope with. Then again, I will be accused of being “condescending” for saying so. (Whatever.)

As for being a “smug” married, not so. Marriage is not for everyone; it’s hard work. But I do love my hubby (and our kitty cats) dearly!

katz
12 years ago

So tempted to make “Act 3 is all about bras” my away message.

Shadow
Shadow
12 years ago

@CassandraSays

most awesome use of “obligatory” I’ve seen in a long while

katz
12 years ago

As for being a “smug” married, not so. Marriage is not for everyone; it’s hard work.

Yeah, marriage is for people who are better than other people. Nothing smug about that.

Snowy
Snowy
12 years ago

Awkward :/

Especially since no one said, or even implied, that you were jealous.

I’m just gonna give you a sympathetic look and pretend you didn’t say that.

Leni, what are you talking about?

Quackers
Quackers
12 years ago

Oy vey…you take a couple hours to watch the Lion King and look what happens.

Alphalady I don’t think anyone is arguing against low self esteem or self empowerment, its just that most people give out the same cliched answer- believe in yourself, you need to be confident etc when really those of us with depression or extremely low self esteem wouldn’t even know where to start with that. It’s just too simplistic an answer, hence why I asked how confidence is obtained. And yea, bootstraps arguments like that don’t work when you’ve done everything by the book and you still fail or life decides to throw you a curve ball. That’s pretty much what happened to me, though on a good day I wont say I necessarily failed, but that I certainly didn’t end up where I was supposed to.

Well Quackers, for me it coincided with the the termination of an extremely shitty and emotionally abusive friendship. I had a sort of personal revelation that I deserved to be treated better than I was. After I cut ties, I felt a lot better about myself. I had to go through a lot of pain, and I still struggle sometimes, but I’m in a better place than I was for most of my life.

So I guess I can’t tell you what the secret is. I think it’s different for everyone. For me it had a lot to do with learning to be kind to myself.

That’s really interesting, because I had one of those emotionally abusive friendships too. During that period my self esteem was destroyed and remained so after I got out of the friendship but it resulted in me becoming untrustworthy of people. I grew as a person but confidence wise am not quite there yet. So yea…I guess no one knows. I won’t spill my life on this thread especially since no one I know can help me in real life either so it is probably up to me to fix my problems. One day it would be nice to appreciate myself fully without always harping on the stuff I don’t like, but like everyone knows it takes time. Maybe one day I will get that personal revelation.

Sorry I contributed to the derail :/

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Well, it does sort of work.

Manboobz
Misogyny. I mock it
Bra sizing – free every Monday evening.

jumbofish
12 years ago

Awkward :/

Especially since no one said, or even implied, that you were jealous.

I’m just gonna give you a sympathetic look and pretend you didn’t say that.

Soooo, cheese is good. Also I like sunshine and rainbows. And unicorns, And also pink is a great color. I like pink a lot. It’s great and also really pink.

(if you don’t like my ‘annoying platitudes,’ then why do they seem to annoy you so much? Is it because I’m married?)

?????

Thats sounds like “you are just jealous” to me.

jumbofish
12 years ago

Er do you seem to have some kind of issue with me leni?

Wetherby
Wetherby
12 years ago

Problems never go away. Life is full of ‘em. But a positive attitude does make them easier to cope with. Then again, I will be accused of being “condescending” for saying so. (Whatever.)

But that is condescending, because it makes the mistake of assuming that because you have a positive attitude, everyone else should therefore be capable of adopting one.

I also have a positive attitude, but I have more than enough friends who simply don’t think the way I do for me to think I can get away with simplistic one-size-should-fit-all panaceas. There are few things less helpful than telling someone with low self-esteem and possibly low-level depression to just buck up and look on the bright side.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Well, I guess Leni’s comment was the answer to the question “who has the bong?”.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Sorry, had to do it.

Quackers
Quackers
12 years ago

hahahaha….omg Cassandra xD

here’s what popped into my head

katz
12 years ago

In Christian circles, Alphalady’s idea is called the “prosperity gospel”–the idea that if you have enough faith, God will give you what you want. Roundly rejected by non-douchey Christians, of course.

The idea keeps popping up everywhere because it’s a shield against inevitable misfortune. When something terrible happens to someone, you can say “Well, it won’t happen to me, because I have high self-esteem/pray enough/am ‘clear’/whatever.”

Leni
Leni
12 years ago

Marriage is not for everyone; it’s hard work.

I depart here. Relationships are hard. Doesn’t really matter if the state recognizes them or not.

Shadow
Shadow
12 years ago

@Quackers

WIN!! Nothing but WIN!!

ozymandias42
12 years ago

Yeah. Do tell me to look on the bright side when I’m in the midst of a depressive episode. That’s a great way to start a circle of self-hatred in which I’m not positive and I hate myself for being not positive which makes me less positive which makes me hate myself more ad infinitum. That is clearly a productive method of dealing with low self-esteem.

Quackers
Quackers
12 years ago

ugh, I re-read what I wrote and what I should have said was no one is arguing against fighting low self esteem or self empowerment

Fail.

Leni
Leni
12 years ago

Leni, what are you talking about?

I quoted what I was replying to.

Sorry if I misunderstood. It looked like wanton douchebaggery.

Quackers
Quackers
12 years ago

@Shadow

Yay! it’s one of my favorite songs by them 🙂

@Ozy

I get the same! I start feeling bad because I’m feeling bad. Essentially I just feel like a selfish jerk which depresses me even more :[

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Favorite Offspring song

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Though I may like the British equivalent even better.

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