Uh oh! I just discovered this, currently the top story over on the Men’s Rights subreddit:
Yes, my sisters (and honorary mangina man-sisters), Russell Brand has dealt a severe blow to Operation Alimony, which (as you well know, at least if you’ve been attending the meetings) is our dastardly Feminazi plot to destroy the patriarchy by getting pretty ladies to marry and divorce rich dudes and take all their money.
You may remember our wild revelry when we heard that comrade-ess Heather Mills had walked off (no jokes please) with £24.3 million of Paul McCartney’s man money. And the joyful tears we shed when we heard that Mel Gibson’s ex-wife had (reportedly) scored a cool $425 million in her divorce settlement.
But today, we shed only the bitterest of tears. We have not only been thwarted, but we’ve also been exposed! Damn those Men’s Rights Redditors and their evil allies at the Daily Mail!
The comments in the r/mensrights thread show that they understand our evil plans all too well. How can we respond to Aetheralloy’s withering critique?
Feminists see the absurdity of their own pushed polices?
LOL no. No they won’t. I’d sooner expect scientologists to ask their psychiatrist if they are in a cult.
But ladies! Do not despair! Russell Brand may have set back our efforts, but he, and his Reddit allies, shall not defeat us!
Ladies, you know what to do. Get yourself all prettied up, hit the town, and snag yourself some rich dudes! Let’s see how many of these guys we can have married off by the end of the year.
Marrying (and divorcing) rich dudes: it’s the feminist way!
I had a
“Is it because I’m married?”
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It’s “I have a high IQ” pt 2!!
no one gives a crap that you are married
Anyone have a dictionary handy?
(Also, WolfieTroll is now officially trying too hard. Wait, is she actually OmNom?)
“Boy, this thread has been like a really long movie with about three different surprise endings, and probably a few more to come!”
Truly, it is the Run Lola Run of blog comments.
Oh. Charming. And if this means I’m going to be single for the rest of my life…?
no one gives a crap that you are married
Oh, yes they do!
…Heart?
BTW, tip for effective trolling – be less obvious. The good people at Encyclopedia Drammatica would be ashamed of you (amateur).
uhhhh apparently I am so jealous you are married now? XD
thats news to me…
Alphalady I am super excited for you and your husband and your lovely marriage. The problem is, there are other kinds of relationships that are just as valid as yours, even if you don’t approve of their members.
Woah, good comeback!
Alphalady, you haven’t answered my question either. Does the positive-thinking thing only work for relationships, or will it make all your problems go away everywhere?
ooooh wise one tell me more about my secret desires and oh your new age things!!!
I wish to be married myself at some point in the future, I have no prejudices against the Smug Marrieds. 🙂
I hate your prejudices on account of they are stupid and victim-blaming! I promise you, I would hate them no matter who said them.
Also no one is hitting on Drac. Except me, but I hit on everyone.
“Oh, yes they do!”
Dayummm, she just thought us a new one
(I am guessing thats the reception you expected when you first commented XD)
WAit, is she positive-thinking us into being jealous of her?!!! o.O
I’m trying to plot out this thread as if it’s a screenplay.
Act 1 (the setup):
Man Boobzers respond to some MRA goofiness about Russell Brand and Katy Perry getting divorced
Break into Act two: A wild MRAL appears, talking about “entitled bitches.”
Act Two: The MRAL show
Discussion of MRAL’s party story, big boobs, relative hotness of various celebrities. This all sounds vaguely familiar — is MRAL returning to his old ways?
MRAL sort of apologizes, but not everyone is being forgiving.
Midpoint of Act 2, the “shit gets real” moment: MRAL brings out Dad2boys in an attempt to humorously change the subject. But it’s too late! No one bites! Shit just got real!
Act 2, part 2: Traditionally, this is where things get tough for the hero(ine) of the movie, bad guys move in, etc etc.
An assortment of Man Boobz regulars express their frustration with the “new” MRAL — is he no better than the old MRAL? Things are looking tough for MRAL!
We’re approaching the “everything looks hopeless” moment in the film, which typically leads to act 3, the thrilling conclusion. Is MRAL doomed? Can he figure out a way to redeem himself?
Then, suddenly, it’s all about bra sizing! Oh, sure, there was some talk about boobs before, but no one saw THIS twist coming!
ACT 3 is all bras!
M. Night Shyamalin, or however you spell his name, eat your heart out!
And then, oh, I forgot, there was a subplot introduced somewhere in act 2, in which alphalady said some stuff about positive self-image that other people didn’t like,
Suddenly — it’s another twist! — this becomes the topic of the day! Alphalady, it turns out, had gone to another website and complained about how mean people were here, then came back here and said sarcastic things, and then asked why people were being hostile!
Is this still act 4? Or is this act 4? But movies don’t have 4 acts! (Unless you count act 2 as 2 acts.)
What is going on! How will this movie end!
Oh no they don’t.
You guys, it’s a pantomime! I want to be the Widow Twanky, she has the best lines.
So are me, bionicmommy, etc still jealous of her marriage? Like, do we want to divorce the spouses we love so we can hook up with her spouse? Are single people’s opinions invalid? Inquiring minds want to know.
Although Alphalady does deserve props for lurking innocuously for a month or two before pulling the douchebag card.
Note: This is actually how almost all movies are structured. See Syd Field’s classic “Screenplay.”
David, I love you and your screenplay-writing skills, we should go to the woods in Vermont and raise emus together. I will do your taxes for you! Except I suck at taxes, so you might want me to do your SEO for you instead.
(See, alphalady, this is what hitting on people looks like.)
Best movie ever!
I propose that nobody should breathe if they have low self-esteem. Clearly nobody can breathe healthily unless they have the proper self confidence. It’s irresponsible to breathe unless you are willing to put in the work to have higher self-esteem.
Awkward :/
Especially since no one said, or even implied, that you were jealous.
I’m just gonna give you a sympathetic look and pretend you didn’t say that.
Soooo, cheese is good. Also I like sunshine and rainbows. And unicorns, And also pink is a great color. I like pink a lot. It’s great and also really pink.