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Russell Brand deals the Feminist Conspiracy a serious setback. But Operation Alimony will prevail!

Uh oh! I just discovered this, currently the top story over on the Men’s Rights subreddit:

Yes, my sisters (and honorary mangina man-sisters), Russell Brand has dealt a severe blow to Operation Alimony, which (as you well know, at least if you’ve been attending the meetings) is our dastardly Feminazi plot to destroy the patriarchy by getting pretty ladies to marry and divorce rich dudes and take all their money.

You may remember our wild revelry when we heard that comrade-ess Heather Mills had walked off (no jokes please) with £24.3 million of Paul McCartney’s man money. And the joyful tears we shed when we heard that Mel Gibson’s ex-wife had (reportedly) scored a cool $425 million in her divorce settlement.

Russell Brand has just spotted a large pile of Katy Perry's money

But today, we shed only the bitterest of tears. We have not only been thwarted, but we’ve also been exposed! Damn those Men’s Rights Redditors and their evil allies at the Daily Mail!

The comments in the r/mensrights thread show that they understand our evil plans all too well. How can we respond to Aetheralloy’s withering critique?

Feminists see the absurdity of their own pushed polices?

LOL no. No they won’t. I’d sooner expect scientologists to ask their psychiatrist if they are in a cult.

But ladies! Do not despair! Russell Brand may have set back our efforts, but he, and his Reddit allies, shall not defeat us!

Ladies, you know what to do. Get yourself all prettied up, hit the town, and snag yourself some rich dudes! Let’s see how many of these guys we can have married off by the end of the year.

Marrying (and divorcing) rich dudes: it’s the feminist way!

 

I had a

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CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

How does that saying go? Those who marry for money earn it?

johnnykaje
12 years ago

The first thing I ever heard about Katy Parry was that she wrote a song called “You’re So Gay”, and another called “I Kissed a Girl” which was not the Jill Sobule version. Those two facts have tainted my perception of anything related to her.

Acne meds? Don’t need them, they’re probably snake oil anyway, and oh hey it’s that Katy Parry chick. Pass.

Russel Brand? Looks funny, reminds me of my sexy high school friend…wait he’s married to that chick? Ew. (My boyfriend eventually made me come around with Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Get Him to the Greek)

Yeah, I’m pretty judgmental. Sue me.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
12 years ago

I think her image fits her music, though, it’s all just meant to be fun. Sort of like Kesha except for less crude about it. And I don’t think her stuff is that bad, the one with Kanye West was pretty catchy.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
12 years ago

Also, I think Russell Brand is probably a lot smarter than Perry, but you can’t really blame him, she is hot.

Dracula
Dracula
12 years ago

I really don’t see the appeal of Katy Perry. Or Russel Brand for that matter. Noel Fielding on the other hand… well, let’s just I could be tempted. And I don’t normally go for dudes.

johnnykaje
12 years ago

For the record, this is the one and only I Kissed A Girl.

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
12 years ago

“Normal men do not think like this.”

Of course MRAs have convinced themselves that THEY are the normal men and guys like Futrelle and I are manginas, not actual men. MRAs are the only real men in an insane world ruled by feminazis and manginas. In this way they remind me of the most deluded conspiracy theorists, like those who believe the world is secretly ruled by lizard people.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
12 years ago

Katy Perry is hot because she is like a big titted Zooey Deschanel, how is this not easy to understand???

Alphalady
Alphalady
12 years ago

I am not surprised by this turn of events. These two are like cartoon characters come to life.

Meanwhile, this is totally off topic, but I found another forum that David might want to add to the “Boob Roll”: http://www.shrink4men.com/about/. It’s run by a therapist who is arguably the worst example of a female misogynist I have ever witnessed. Check it out!

Dracula
Dracula
12 years ago

Yeah, not really into Zooey Deschanel either. And any hotness Katy Perry might have (not much, IMO) is negated by her terrible music.

johnnykaje
12 years ago

Brand is hot and all but meh, I’m a Brit, guys who look like him aren’t that uncommon in London

JEALOUS

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
12 years ago

@Alpha:

Look at that mirror photo. You know she’s legit.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
12 years ago

ok, whatever dude. If I was Russell Brand, I’d be paying out the asshole for marriage therapists and shit, because even for a male 8, which he is, Katy Perry is very impressive.

Shora
12 years ago

MRAL, maybe having sex with someone super duooper hot is not the most important thing in the world? Maybe he’ll be a lot happier with someone who is less conventionally pretty but who he gets along with much, much better and he knows it?

just a thought.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
12 years ago

I’ve noticed that a lot of arrogant women seem to think they can denigrate Brand, an 8, and thereby make everyone else feel like shit. “not that uncommon”, my fucking ass.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Oh dear, MRAL appears to be backsliding.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
12 years ago

I’m just saying that you need to acknowledge that Brand is exceptional.

Dracula
Dracula
12 years ago

I don’t really see how claiming not to into somebody is denigrating them. Besides, his being “and 8” doesn’t really mean anything, seeing as how there’s no such thing as an objective scale of attractiveness.

Dracula
Dracula
12 years ago

“an 8”, rather.

Viscaria
Viscaria
12 years ago

MRAL, I don’t care who you consider attractive, but I do care that you seem to be telling us all that any preferences that differ from yours are wrong. In addition,

I’ve noticed that a lot of arrogant women seem to think they can denigrate Brand, an 8, and thereby make everyone else feel like shit. “not that uncommon”, my fucking ass.

what the fuck are you on about? You can’t just rank men (or women) in an objective way in terms of beauty. People have different things that they find personally attractive. Cassandra, for example, isn’t really moved by Russell Brand, unlike me. That doesn’t mean she’s part of some conspiracy to make you feel bad about yourself. Calm the fuck down.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
12 years ago

Okay, well this constant elitist drivel about not being into hot people, and it almost always comes from women who have leeway to say stuff like that, is not helping anyone.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

In my personal experience Brand isn’t exceptional, though, other than in the sense of being exceptionally famous. He looks a bit like an ex of mine, actually, just hairier.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
12 years ago

I guess men do it too, sometimes, but I feel like it’s usually just posturing.

Shora
12 years ago

MRAL, I think it’s kind of denigrating to all involved parties to make an entire marriage about how good the female component looks. It’s dehuminizing to both Katy Perry and Russel brand because it says that all of Katy Perry’s worth is in her looks and that all Brand SHOULD care about, as a man, is fucking “a big titted Zooey Deschanel”.

Most people in this thread have been saying anything ranging from “Eh, Brand, take him or leave him” to “I would fuck him six ways from Sunday”. Katy Perry is predictably getting the harshest criticisms.

Dracula
Dracula
12 years ago

Or it could be that some people are tired of being told their preferences don’t exist, so they make a point of telling people they do.