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Russell Brand deals the Feminist Conspiracy a serious setback. But Operation Alimony will prevail!

Uh oh! I just discovered this, currently the top story over on the Men’s Rights subreddit:

Yes, my sisters (and honorary mangina man-sisters), Russell Brand has dealt a severe blow to Operation Alimony, which (as you well know, at least if you’ve been attending the meetings) is our dastardly Feminazi plot to destroy the patriarchy by getting pretty ladies to marry and divorce rich dudes and take all their money.

You may remember our wild revelry when we heard that comrade-ess Heather Mills had walked off (no jokes please) with £24.3 million of Paul McCartney’s man money. And the joyful tears we shed when we heard that Mel Gibson’s ex-wife had (reportedly) scored a cool $425 million in her divorce settlement.

Russell Brand has just spotted a large pile of Katy Perry's money

But today, we shed only the bitterest of tears. We have not only been thwarted, but we’ve also been exposed! Damn those Men’s Rights Redditors and their evil allies at the Daily Mail!

The comments in the r/mensrights thread show that they understand our evil plans all too well. How can we respond to Aetheralloy’s withering critique?

Feminists see the absurdity of their own pushed polices?

LOL no. No they won’t. I’d sooner expect scientologists to ask their psychiatrist if they are in a cult.

But ladies! Do not despair! Russell Brand may have set back our efforts, but he, and his Reddit allies, shall not defeat us!

Ladies, you know what to do. Get yourself all prettied up, hit the town, and snag yourself some rich dudes! Let’s see how many of these guys we can have married off by the end of the year.

Marrying (and divorcing) rich dudes: it’s the feminist way!

 

I had a

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klopbop
klopbop
12 years ago

Lauralot, I know I’m late, but I wanted to chime in at how cool your costume is! Did you make that? You look totally awesome!

What always gets me in these kinds of situations is how people side up with one party of the other. Someone’s gotta be at fault, son! It’s that Katy Perry is a bitch! It’s that Russell Brand is an asshole! S/he should feel lucky s/he ever had someone as [whatever] as the soon-to-be-ex! When really, it’s more likely that both parties messed up and wanted to end it.

But you can usually pick out the sexism pretty quickly, or how much someone’s projecting their own problems on to the matter.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Also, now that the derail is hopefully over, can I just say, that picture of Brand…he went through rehab, right? Because I look at the wide open eyes and think “cocaine, lots and lots of cocaine”. But that may just be part of his schtick at this point.

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
12 years ago

“Now I’m wondering if MRAL knows that girl wasn’t already in a relationship with that other guy. Just because he walked in and talked for 3 minutes doesn’t mean that was their first interaction ever”

Somehow he knows every single person that this girl knows. It’s not possible that she knows someone MRAL doesn’t. And even if they had just met…so what? Maybe she went to the party looking to fuck a “6 or 7” , in MRAL’s terminology. That still doesn’t make her a bitch.

katz
12 years ago

The thing is, I agree that finding self-confidence can help you in your interpersonal relationships, but getting to that point is extremely fucking hard.

Also, there are plenty of self-confident douchebags. If you’re self-confidently sure that you’re better than everyone else, that’s unlikely to help your relationship chances.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
12 years ago

Okay, let’s get one thing straight, I don’t expect to date really at all, at least not in the foreseeable future. I’d like to, but I’m too ugly for that, just stating the facts, no sympathy-fishing. What I am hoping is to have a casual encounter, which seems to be “cheaper” for lack of a better word, which makes sense, because it’s one night vs. sharing your life.

I’ll exit the thread because everyone wants me gone, but I wanted to clear that up.

Lauralot
Lauralot
12 years ago

Lauralot, I know I’m late, but I wanted to chime in at how cool your costume is! Did you make that? You look totally awesome!

Thanks! I did make it, though I had a looooot of help from my grandmother with the design and some of the trickier parts of the sewing.

katz
12 years ago

And, sorry, I do believe in the “Just World Fallacy” (if that’s what you wish to call it, although I don’t) because I have seen it in action in my life and the lives of many others, many, many times.

Do you believe this only for relationships, or do you also think that being homeless, suffering from chronic illness, getting hit by a car, losing a loved one, living in a war-torn country, and so on are also things you could prevent with enough self-esteem?

katz
12 years ago

MRAL, why not go the other route–try being friends first? Find a girl who loves George R. R. Martin and talk with her about how awesome Daenerys is. Voila, your desirability skyrockets. Doesn’t mean you’ll immediately get in her pants–you (and anyone else) probably won’t–but if you leave her thinking “That guy was cool,” then you’re on your way.

Shora
12 years ago

Okay, let’s get one thing straight, I don’t expect to date really at all, at least not in the foreseeable future. I’d like to, but I’m too ugly for that, just stating the facts, no sympathy-fishing. What I am hoping is to have a casual encounter, which seems to be “cheaper” for lack of a better word, which makes sense, because it’s one night vs. sharing your life.

That makes no sense. Casual sex is way more likely to be looks-oriented than dating or relationships.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Seconding Shora. If I’m looking to just fuck someone, I care less about their personality and how compatible we are in an emotional/mental/political sense, so looks are really the only criteria to focus on. Which means I’m going to be even pickier than normal.

Also seconding Crumbelievable’s point – so what if any given person is only willing to have sex with people who’re super hot? What business is it of anyone else’s? If they’re your friend and it’s causing them problems then sure, you might want to intervene, but in general, people get to pick whatever criteria they want as far as choosing sexual or romantic partners. I had a friend in London whose criteria was “big nose and a Scots or Irish accent”, whereas mine would be “skinny and pretty”. I know a guy who only fucks women who’re very very skinny (as in, he would consider Katy Perry too fat). All of us are entitled to those criteria, regardless of how little sense they might make to anyone else.

Sniper
Sniper
12 years ago

I don’t expect to date really at all, at least not in the foreseeable future. I’d like to, but I’m too ugly for that,

This is such bullshit. Nobody is too ugly to date. Nobody is too ugly to fall in love. You don’t know what you’re talking about. Hell, even people with horrible personalities have sex.

Leni
Leni
12 years ago

@ Katz re Daenerys- I’d totally go advise him to go with Arya 🙂

I recently had a conversation with a guy I worked with who is a big fan of the series who said that his two favorite characters were the Imp and Arya. (Mine too, and I’d expect them to be popular because they are both charismatic and likeable. As opposed to charismatic and awful, like that pervy Kingslayer!) The Arya thing totally caught me off guard, but it did bump up my respect for him. Probably not enough to sleep with him, but it definitely didn’t hurt his chances.

All this is for the same reason that guys who like Buffy will always be cooler than ones who don’t: Manginas!

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
12 years ago

I didn’t really like Buffy, but I did like Angel, also Firefly, is that ok? Whedon also has an awesome forehead.

Spearhafoc
12 years ago

MRAL, why not go the other route–try being friends first?

I’ve heard people advise against this, but, honestly, some of my best friends are women I was interested in or attracted to when we first met. The key is not to expect that a romantic/sexual relationship will form, and don’t get mad if it doesn’t. You’re not entitled to one from this person or any other.

There’s a difference, I think, between being friendly to someone you’re attracted to and Nice Guy-ism – which feels to me more like a passive-aggressive attempt at being predatory (“If I pretend to be friends with her, I’ll eventually wear her down to the point where she’ll fuck me.”) As someone who has no idea how to flirt, being friendly is pretty much my only option.

Also, if you actually start actually developing real feelings for a friend, it’s best to come clean with it as soon as possible. I had a mad crush on a girl in high school. I chickened out of telling her for so long that my feelings festered into something really awful. When I finally worked up the courage to ask her out, her rejection nearly destroyed me. Compared with another friend who I told fairly soon after I started feeling for her. She was with someone, so I didn’t ask her out as such – I just let her know that I was beginning to feel something for her, that I knew it wouldn’t come to anything and that I wanted to be friends regardless. It felt a little bad and it took me a little while to get over her, but nothing like the above case, and I made a really good friendship out of it.

LyssatakeaBow
LyssatakeaBow
12 years ago

had to go to work but he doesn’t believe we have big boobs? lol. this is what i hate this idea that some physical attributes makes a woman a goddess or whatever. lots of women have large breasts most women aren’t wearing corsets all day to show to you though and trust me we don’t feel like godesses because of something like boobs. especially since most large breasts aren’t super perky…

katz
12 years ago

Leni, he’s previously said positive stuff about Daenerys, IIRC. Also, Arya was weak sauce in book 4.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
12 years ago

Yes, Daenerys is awesome. I like Arya as well, but wouldn’t list her among my favorite characters- which are Tyrion, Dany, Baelish, and Sansa.

ozymandias42
12 years ago

Yeah. I get laid a lot because I’m lucky and because I happen to attend a school full of people of the sort who are interested in me. Confidence doesn’t play a role in it, which is lucky, because I don’t have any.

MRAL, I’m probably one of the most cutting-you-some-slack people here, for various personal reasons, but even I’m kinda on Jumbo’s side here. You really need to take a deep breath and think about something else, because you are backsliding. Like Shaenon says: “women are all entitled bitches” is not real. Tht is your brain lying to you.

Which Neal Stephenson?

Leni
Leni
12 years ago

Leni, he’s previously said positive stuff about Daenerys, IIRC. Also, Arya was weak sauce in book 4.

*plugs ears*

LALALALALALALALALALALALALA!

I just started book two, so hushy! But yeah. I can see that too. *Sigh*

I actually sympathized a lot with Sansa too. But I didn’t much like her. Except in the one part where she’s on the ledge with Joffrey. I totally thought she was gonna pitch herself off and when she looked at him instead and the eyes narrowed- I almost freaking cheered lol.

And for MRAL:



If that fails, which it definitely might cause I don’t actually know the html code for it:

Try This.

Why is this man not your hero?

Leni
Leni
12 years ago

Aw dammit the vid didn’t appear XD

belledame222
12 years ago

I’m queer. I actually don’t find Perry all that physically attractive. (That’s even before the “I Kissed A Girl But I’m Not Really A Lez Or Nuffin Tee Hee” business which would be a turnoff even if I did think she was an 11.5 or whatever it is now).

MRAL, it’s fine to have preferences. It really really is. It would be better to say “I like women who look like Perry” than to say “She’s a 10, everybody can see that,” because there *is* no -objective- standard of beauty. There really isn’t. There are, perhaps, more widely agreed upon standards of beauty, but so what? If 9 out of 10 people thought asparagus was the greatest food ever and you couldn’t choke it down, does that mean they’re right and you’re wrong? No; it means *they and you have different tastes.*

> I don’t have issues, my IQ is 145.

That’s kind of a non sequiter; one really has nothing to do with the other.

belledame222
12 years ago

It also might be helpful to sort out whether you actually want to have sex with a given girl/woman because you’re really that attracted to -her,- or because you have this idea that doing so would validate your worth in some obscure way.

Magpie
Magpie
12 years ago

If chatting pleasantly with someone for an hour or seems a BAD thing, MRAL must normally go to some really jumping parties. 😉

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
12 years ago

Oh thank goodness the MRA’s are taking on this pressing issue of Katy Perry’s divorce settlement. However, they need to also deal with other important current events, like Jessica Simpson’s pregnancy and what Johnny Depp wore to the beach on his vacation. If the MRM wants to be taken seriously, they stay current on all celebrity gossip. I can’t stress this enough.

As far as boobs go, mine are saggy. I think they’re fabulous, though. They fed both of my babies and helped them grow and stay healthy their first year of life. In my opinion, that makes them beautiful.

shaenon
12 years ago

Hey, MRAL. I’m an average-looking woman with small boobs. Rate the following statements TRUE or FALSE.

1. My attractiveness has a specific numerical value, and there is no reason for anyone with a higher value to like me.

2. I am too ugly to ever have a relationship.

3. When men talk about liking hot women with big boobs, they’re sneering at me.

4. If I have a conversation with a man and he doesn’t offer to have sex with me, it’s because I’m so ugly, and also because he’s an entitled asshole.

Please consider your answers carefully. This will be on the final exam of life.

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