Uh oh! I just discovered this, currently the top story over on the Men’s Rights subreddit:
Yes, my sisters (and honorary mangina man-sisters), Russell Brand has dealt a severe blow to Operation Alimony, which (as you well know, at least if you’ve been attending the meetings) is our dastardly Feminazi plot to destroy the patriarchy by getting pretty ladies to marry and divorce rich dudes and take all their money.
You may remember our wild revelry when we heard that comrade-ess Heather Mills had walked off (no jokes please) with £24.3 million of Paul McCartney’s man money. And the joyful tears we shed when we heard that Mel Gibson’s ex-wife had (reportedly) scored a cool $425 million in her divorce settlement.
But today, we shed only the bitterest of tears. We have not only been thwarted, but we’ve also been exposed! Damn those Men’s Rights Redditors and their evil allies at the Daily Mail!
The comments in the r/mensrights thread show that they understand our evil plans all too well. How can we respond to Aetheralloy’s withering critique?
Feminists see the absurdity of their own pushed polices?
LOL no. No they won’t. I’d sooner expect scientologists to ask their psychiatrist if they are in a cult.
But ladies! Do not despair! Russell Brand may have set back our efforts, but he, and his Reddit allies, shall not defeat us!
Ladies, you know what to do. Get yourself all prettied up, hit the town, and snag yourself some rich dudes! Let’s see how many of these guys we can have married off by the end of the year.
Marrying (and divorcing) rich dudes: it’s the feminist way!
I had a
Quackers, I am in a relationship; I’m married! (Happily, I might add.) The point I was trying to make is how you feel about yourself, on a deep, intrinsic level, really does affect how others respond to you. Yes, people with low self-esteem are in relationships, but I have yet to meet a person with low self-esteem who was in a healthy relationship. Quite the contrary. Moreover, genuine confidence and high self-esteem is not something you can fake, it has to be felt on a very deep level. I know lots of not so hot and even downright homely people who are attractive to others because of this.
My husband and I had a conversation about this when we were first dating. He was married before, and he said that when he was going through his divorce and felt really down on himself, he would go out and try to strike up conversations with women, ask women to dance and what not, but they acted like he had the plague. Then once his divorce came through it was like a giant weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he felt great about himself. Suddenly, as if by magic, he would go out and women would flock to him like bees to flowers.
He didn’t look any different, but he felt dramatically different, about himself. As he said, you can’t fake it, you can’t buy it, you can’t bottle it. It just is. Furthermore, looks really are not the end all and be all when it comes to attracting people.
I have a close friend who is a psychologist and she totally agrees. How one sees oneself makes all of the difference in life, for better or worse. And beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.
Quackers – Sir – There is a Difference between emotion and intuition as experienced by Men and Women. I have done much Research on the subject, but for expediency’s sake, I will refer to the distinct phenomenons as Manotion and Womanotion. Manotion is an entirely necessary component of the human (that is, the Male) psyche. It is that which makes us Feel, and gives us a sense of Right and Wrong. That which gives us empathy and gives us a sense of the Unjust (see: the MRAs and the French Revolution, both driven by Manotion). In other words, it is that which makes Men human, separating us from Robots and Androids and such. Womanotion, on the other hand, is an entirely negative construct. Far from establishing the humanity of Women, Womanotion actively works against this- as I’m sure many metaphorically battered husbands can attest to! Womanotion is that circular, useless Hysteria that Women so often engage in, talking so much but saying so little. It is these Hysterical Paroxysms, in fact, that are responsible for much of the Strife in the world. Womanotion is the devil’s creation.
“Womanotion.”
“Womanotion,”
The mere fact that they really think alimony is feminist goal number one, (or 10, or 753,) and won’t listen to reason on it, should be proof enough they aren’t dealing with reality. But they keep helpfully providing more proof. Bless you, MRA’s.
Dad2Boys, I’m insisting you’re parody, so A+
Go away, MRAL. No one is in the mood to humor you right now.
“That which gives us empathy and gives us a sense of the Unjust (see: the MRAs and the French Revolution, both driven by Manotion”
MRAs? Empathy? Oh, that’s rich. Did you ever read the article where Paul Elam said that he would acquit a rapist in in the face of overwhelming evidence just to spite feminists, and a lot of MRAs agreed? Imagine if the woman who was raped was a close friend, or your own daughter. Imagine the suffering that poor woman would go through.That’s called empathy. MRAs lack it.
In answer to Cassandra’s earlier question about Noel Fielding (Forgive me if someone answered and I missed it.), he’s another British comedian who’s worked with Brand in the past. There’s a song about him:
And another one, about Russel Brand:
Also, I’d like to add that I agree with those of you who said Lauralot is cute. She totally is.
But don’t the hysterical paroxysms, helpfully provided by the local doctor, or home vibrating device
helpfully provided by the local doctor, or home vibrating device, HELP keep our silliness in check?
Actually, this reminds me, NWO’s “female masturbation has nothing to do with sexuality” weirdness actually has some precedence in history. Not quite NWO’s version, but then, what is?
Zhinxy, Dad2boys is one of MRAL’s socks. MRAL, go to your room.
sockpuppeting now? really?
You are pathetic MRAL.
Yes, people with low self-esteem are in relationships, but I have yet to meet a person with low self-esteem who was in a healthy relationship.
Nice to meet you. Now you’ve met one. 🙂
Seriously, though, Quackers has a point. It’s absolutely important to love yourself, and it’s definitely much easier to sustain a happy, healthy relationship if you are confident and comfortable with yourself, but I don’t think it’s quite fair or accurate to suggest that people who cannot achieve that level of self-esteem (such as many people living with chronic clinical depression, for a personally relevant example) are fundamentally incapable of ever being in a healthy relationship. Personally, I’d say that confidence is one important factor in a much larger equation, and while I agree that confidence ranks quite a lot higher than physical attractiveness in determining how likely one is to have happy relationships, it’s still only one factor.
Basically, I think everyone should do their best to love themselves to whatever extent they can, and that the more they can succeed in loving themselves, the more likely others are to love them, too – but it’s just a matter of “more likely,” not a magical switch from “fundamentally impossible to love/date/etc.” to “members of your preferred gender(s) will immediately flock to you.” Some people can be plagued with self-doubt and still find a happy, stable relationship, and some can be brimming with confidence and still not happen to meet someone who’s interested. In the end, relationships, as with anything else in life, are still a little bit of a crapshoot.
Jumbofish, I don’t know what the fuck your problem is, but if you could stop being a chronic ass, that would be nice.
MRAL, what’s up? It’s OK to be upset at whatever’s going on in your life, but it’s really not ok to lash out at people.
You should also keep in mind that you’ve been a spectacular jerk for the majority of your tenure here, and not everyone’s going to take your turnaround the way you’d like them to. Most of us are trying to deal with you in good faith, but you’re pushing it.
I’m not lashing out, but jumbofish is always on my tail, and I’m sort of sick of it. My life is all right at the moment. I like having nothing to do.
Polliwog, I didn’t say anything about a “magical switch.” But I think that my husband’s experiences (and my own) illustrate how powerful high self-esteem can be. I also do not agree that people who are plagued with self-doubt can find happy, stable relationships. It may happen, but in my observations (and that of my friend the therapist) such cases are not in the majority. As for those brimming with confidence who may not happen to meet someone who’s interested, I disagree with that, too. Virtually anyone I’ve ever known who had confidence and really wanted to be in a relationship managed to find a partner. Yes, relationships are a “crap shoot.” But I have found that emotionally healthy people are far more likely to weed out the bad apples.
Be that as it may, I very strongly believe in the “Laws of the Universe,” for want of a better term. The Universe gives us what we give out. I have seen this in action far too many times to discount this.
(I didn’t realize that a post that was meant to be positive and inspirational would strike such a nerve.)
Frankly Alphalady, I think you’re being really unfair to people with self-image problems. And this:
Be that as it may, I very strongly believe in the “Laws of the Universe,” for want of a better term. The Universe gives us what we give out. I have seen this in action far too many times to discount this.
Is what’s known as the Just World Fallacy. It’s a lie.
But I think that “meeting someone” in itself would, basically, automatically grant you high self-esteem, because it means that someone who is not you or your parents finds you compelling and worthy of wanting. That’s practically the definition of self-esteem.
Isn’t it nice that MRAL gets to spend his vacation calling women elitist bitches?
Seriously, kid – get lost.
Hey, I do other things than post here… you all spend a good amount of time here yourselves. For example, today I read about 200 pages of a Neal Stephenson novel. I took 2 baths. I had no work or anything, so I woke up at 11. I consider this a fun day.
Alphalady, as someone who is “plagued with self-doubt”, I can certify than your comments don’t sound positive for everybody. They are hurtful to me.
You have no idea how easy it can be to fake confidence and high self esteem.
(I didn’t realize that a post that was meant to be positive and inspirational would strike such a nerve.)
…………….
Because a great deal of “laws of the universe” “positive thinking” type talk can be used against people who have real problems with depression, etc. It all becomes about “your attitude” and in the minds of some people, this amounts to blaming people for bad things that happen to them.
(See Barbara Ehrenreich’s fantastic “Bright Sided, How The Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking is Undermining America, for much more. Interview on the book here: http://www.alternet.org/health/143187 )
I really have encountered more than one person who blamed my abusive relationship on “my low-self esteem,” or not practicing the proper happy law of attraction, so I’m not saying that you ARE one of those sorts…
But that there’s a LOT of history with this stuff, and people who are mentally ill and/or have been abused, or people who have had bad experiences with “law of attraction” and “positive thinking” types, – Not that it’s all like that or there’s nothing good to say about positive thinking – tend to react with suspicion when it’s brought up.
The well has been poisoned with The Secret, and other happy juice, you might say. 😉
Hmm, can I be as nasty to MRAL as he actually deserves and call it “fun”? Votes?
“But I think that “meeting someone” in itself would, basically, automatically grant you high self-esteem”
But sadly, it doesn’t work like that. Someone saying “you’re sexy” or “you’re pretty” (even sincerely) won’t magically change your self image. It helps, but it’s not magical.
As I told you once before, you’re idealizing sex and romance; they are not the end of all your problems but the source of many other potential ones.
Ok… I think I have been pretty restrained for a lot of this thread given that people keep calling me vile and twisted and tiny and stupid. So how about the haters take their Gatorade and stuff it up their ass.