Uh oh! I just discovered this, currently the top story over on the Men’s Rights subreddit:
Yes, my sisters (and honorary mangina man-sisters), Russell Brand has dealt a severe blow to Operation Alimony, which (as you well know, at least if you’ve been attending the meetings) is our dastardly Feminazi plot to destroy the patriarchy by getting pretty ladies to marry and divorce rich dudes and take all their money.
You may remember our wild revelry when we heard that comrade-ess Heather Mills had walked off (no jokes please) with £24.3 million of Paul McCartney’s man money. And the joyful tears we shed when we heard that Mel Gibson’s ex-wife had (reportedly) scored a cool $425 million in her divorce settlement.
But today, we shed only the bitterest of tears. We have not only been thwarted, but we’ve also been exposed! Damn those Men’s Rights Redditors and their evil allies at the Daily Mail!
The comments in the r/mensrights thread show that they understand our evil plans all too well. How can we respond to Aetheralloy’s withering critique?
Feminists see the absurdity of their own pushed polices?
LOL no. No they won’t. I’d sooner expect scientologists to ask their psychiatrist if they are in a cult.
But ladies! Do not despair! Russell Brand may have set back our efforts, but he, and his Reddit allies, shall not defeat us!
Ladies, you know what to do. Get yourself all prettied up, hit the town, and snag yourself some rich dudes! Let’s see how many of these guys we can have married off by the end of the year.
Marrying (and divorcing) rich dudes: it’s the feminist way!
I had a
I’d marry Mark Zuckerberg and make him stop changing Facebook like the feminist bitch I am =D
I was sort of hoping those two crazy kids would make it.
This is one of the weirdest gotchas I’ve ever seen…
I’m confused. Why am I not supposed to want Brand to get any alimony?
Because alimony is the feminist plot to allow women to scam millions and millions of dollars off poor innocent men. Allowing Russell Brand to scam millions of dollars off a woman shows that the cunning plan might harm women.
Or something. I honestly have no clue what goes through their heads.
Any time I don’t interact with MRAs for a few days and then come back to them I find myself going…huh? What are you on about?
Normal men do not think like this.
…so what’s the absurdity?
Is the absurdity that he’s only getting $20 million? I’d have thought it would be more.
Yes, everyone knows the feminists worldwide feel total solidarity with Katy Perry, that staunch paragon of progressive values. This is bound to hit close to home.
The real loss here is Russell’s access to Katy Perry’s vagina.
Actually, this just shows that divorce settlements can go both ways, independent of gender. Kind of undermines their whole thesis, hmm?
yeah i’m sure this is the first time in history a man has gotten money or been eligible for alimony or whatever in a divorce too. first time ever a woman has had more money than a man in a relationship.
CURSE YOU RUSSELL BRAND!! I–
Wait. Who?
Oh, right. Well-yeah! I was totally expecting to get all that bling from Perry, myself. Damn him for ruining my aspirations.
Personally, my plan of life is still to marry an (or several) old very rich childless man (or woman, if gay marriage ever come to my land), then kill him and make it look like an accident or old age. And putting meds in his food to prevent him to be horny. (I’m still a bit fuzzy on the details)
That way, I’ll get all of his money, not just a part.
And because I’m such a gentle person, I’ll choose an very mean person and use his money to rescue kittens and puppies. Then I’ll start my own country (what’s the price of the whole of Lithuania these days?). It will probably be a socialist one, though I’m, again, fuzzy on the details. And every one will have two chickens (male and female), and will have to treat them well.
“I paid an ex, and I didn’t like it…
I didn’t like it…”
You know, in my experience, most feminists that I know actually like Brand a lot more than they like Perry…
“The real loss here is Russell’s access to Katy Perry’s vagina.”
She is a beaut. Pity about her music.
Actually, Katy Perry is the perfect illustration of why Meller’s theories are not universally applicable. She’s pretty dedicated to presenting herself in as fluffy a way as possible, and to me it undermines her sexiness. Physically she’s exactly my type, but the relentless cutesiness and blatant pandering makes it impossible for me to think of her in a sexual way.
(Her music also makes me want to perforate my own eardrums, but that’s a separate issue.)
We would like to interrupt this misogyny-mocking to inform you that Ozymandias would bang Russell Brand like a screen door in a hurricane.
Carry on.
Cosigned on that banging, Ozy.
I’m surprised they didn’t have a pre-nup.
@CassandraSays
This, a million times. I don’t mind a fondness for the Muppets – I, too, love the Muppets – or pigtails or lollipops but when it’s all part of this deliberate Lolita… thing, I can’t be turned on by you anymore. Plus I’ve never forgiven her (and her handlers) for I Kissed A Girl, which is so careful to be titilating without ever actually making her queer. She’s a straight girl, but a naughty straight girl, because kissing other women is naughty. Yuck. But yeah, I would totally have hot British accent sex with Russel Brand. 😀
Although, apparently, I wouldn’t bother to spell his name right first.
Brand is hot and all but meh, I’m a Brit, guys who look like him aren’t that uncommon in London so I can’t get too excited about him. He’s still a lot sexier than his soon to be ex-wife though, largely because he doesn’t act like he’s 5.
Wait, we were supposed to marry rich dudes? Why didn’t I get the memo?
Unwisely I seem to have married a fellow downwardly-mobile musician when I could have been whooping it up as a trophy wife. My bad.
(I would be a terrible, terrible trophy wife. And from what I’ve seen of the super-rich those women earn every penny of their divorce settlements.)
I don’t know, but apparently you can rent Liechtenstein for $70,000 a night. Maybe you could work out some sort of rent-to-own deal:
http://www.geekosystem.com/rent-liechtenstein-airbnb/