Well, the votes are in, and the People’s Choice is clear: NWOslave is the 2011 Man Boobz Troll of the Year! Not only that, but he won in a landslide, racking up more votes than both of his opponents combined!
He wins a little tiara, though he need to buy it and pay for it himself.
But fans of David K. Meller and Arks, do not be disappointed — there are more awards to come, and the winners will be announced over the next couple of days. Do not be surprised to see one or both of these trolls winning something quite special indeed.
In the meantime, in celebration of NWOslave’s awesome win, I present to you the latest edition of the NWOslave Book of Learnin’, as created and maintained by the redoubtable Shaenon! The entries below all reflect things that NWOslave has taught us all in his many, now award-winning, comments on Man Boobz. Read and learn!
The Book of Learnin’
Indispensable Facts About the Universe from NWO
Awards Season Edition (Not for Resale)Science
Evolution is impossible, because otherwise we’d be able to watch dogs evolve into super-dogs. Unless anyone can produce evidence of dogs with super-powers, evolution is a myth.
The theory of evolution claims that life came from rocks. It also states that evolution doesn’t occur anymore because rocks are no longer in make-life mode.
The theory of evolution is the same as the Big Bang theory, which is also impossible.
In the animal kingdom, females entice males with their spectacular plumage and elaborate mating displays.
Female animals cannot feed themselves and rely on males to support them. Even in cases where this seems untrue, the males are still tougher. For example, female lions do all the hunting in the pride, but if they come across a really tough enemy, like a hyena, they run and get the male lion to fight for them.
Mathematics
Feminists claim that one in four women is raped in college. But since college lasts for four years, you have to multiply that by four. Therefore, feminists are really saying that 100% of women are raped in college, which is obviously untrue, not to mention proof that women are bad at math.
There are only three percentages in statistics: 0%, 99%, and 100%. In statistical analysis, all numbers should be rounded to one of these three. COROLLARY: If people notice this and start suggesting that you’re just making your statistics up, it is mathematically acceptable to add some other really high numbers at random.
“Zero-sum game” is a fancy term for a game that ends in a tie.
There are two kinds of numbers, quantative and qualative.
Medicine
Children are lined up and injected with a dangerous chemical called flouride to make them stupid.
Mammograms cause breast cancer. Doctors advise women to get mammograms at least once a week until they develop cancer from it.
Many hospitals are open only to women and children. They’re not maternity/pediatric hospitals, just regular hospitals run by people who refuse to treat men for no reason.
All drugs and medication are unsafe except marijuana.
Male suicide is caused by society trying to feminize men, which makes them so depressed they kill themselves. Before modern feminism, suicide was practically non-existent.
After an abortion, the fetus is chopped into pieces and thrown into the nearest river or lake to feed the fish.
If the FDA worked, we’d have cures for cancer, diabetes, and every disease and ailment. Since we don’t, it’s not doing anything useful and should be abolished.
All therapists are women and feminists.
Education
Reading is not taught in American public schools.
Public schools offer two kinds of math: traditional arithmetic and New Math. Children are allowed to choose which one to learn.
Before feminism, male children were not required to do homework or pay attention in class. Homework and paying attention were invented in the 1970s to get boys in trouble.
Before feminism, schools did not have hall monitors.
How-to courses on homosexuality are taught in public schools. This is how people become gay.
Men are not permitted to work as teachers in the U.S.
The University of Cincinnati and all University of California schools have gotten rid of their engineering and computer science departments and replaced them with women’s studies and gender studies.
Thanks to the power of Title IX (see Law), all but two colleges in the U.S. are assembling organized Sex Police Forces made up of female students and faculty. There are plans to extend this program to grade schools.
There are twice as many teachers and half as many students in U.S. schools as there were 20 years ago. These teachers spend class time walking around in their underwear to arouse elementary-school boys.
History
Ancient Greece, Rome, Persia, and China under the Ming Dynasty were extremely progressive, feminist societies. That’s why they collapsed.
Before modern feminism, rape was a rare occurrence and almost unheard-of.
All wars in history were started by women nagging their husbands to invade other countries to get pretty dresses.
The Americas were discovered by Queen Isabella, who ordered every man in Europe to sail westward to get exotic jewels, perfumes and silks for her. It was a stroke of luck that Columbus found land before the entire male population of Europe perished in a watery grave.
Lynchings in the American South consisted of women accusing men of rape because they were man-hating feminists. Race had nothing to do with it; it was just as easy for a black woman to get a white man lynched as vice versa. In cases where the man was lynched on an accusation from another man, the lynchings were justified.
In 1919, women took control of all levels of government and law enforcement. Since then, every law in the U.S. has been written and enacted by women. There have been no male politicians, judges, or police officers for over 90 years.
The CIA imported feminism from the Soviet Union by publishing Ms. magazine and Miss Mag and channeling funds to a woman named Gloria Steinen.
Any history text written after the early 1500s is an unreliable source.
Linguistics
The word “suffrage” is derived from the verb “to suffer,” because voting is hard.
Spanish and Russian use the same alphabet. The Russians just have a funny kind of handwriting called cryillic script.
Arts and Literature
The Iliad is the story of how Queen Helen of Troy ordered two armies to fight over her. It is based on a true story.
The classical Greek play The Bacchae is a celebration of the roving lesbian gang that murdered the musician Orpheus. It is based on a true story.
The musical Chicago is a polemic about how men should be shot to death. It was written by a female college student last year.
All horror movies are about a pretty girl being stalked and assaulted by an evil man. In the end, she kills him and walks away alive.
All TV shows have the same plot as horror movies, except that the pretty girl is assisted by an all-female investigative team, with a single man in charge. At the end of every episode, the victim sits in a one-way mirrored room, watching the chained-up man with a smug look on her face. Then one of the women from the investigative team squeezes her arm.
Fashion
Most girls and women over the age of twelve wear see-through tops and micro-miniskirts on all occasions. Although their skirts are so short their genitals hang out, they do not wear underwear.
Women only dress to attract men—all men. If a woman leaves the house in clothes, she wants to have sex with any man she meets. Men, on the other hand, never dress to look attractive.
Women become sexually aroused by wearing clothes.
Law
All U.S. law, from the Constitution down, has been supplanted by the extremely powerful Title IX, a law requiring that all educational, government, and private institutions be 100% female. Title IX has its own police force, which is exactly like the Nazi SS. This takeover of the government was orchestrated by Russlynn Ali, Assistant Secretary for Civil Rights in the U.S. Department of Education, who now rules the U.S. as supreme dictator.
Laws in the U.S. and Britain are made by a panel of unelected advisors, who commission an independent legal review. Once the review is published anywhere, it becomes a law.
If the names on a contract are in all caps, those people are legally corporations. If they’re in mixed case, the contract is invalid.
Requiring people to take a vision test to get a driver’s license is an atrocity on the level of the Holocaust, Pol Pot’s genocide, and the famous Communist massacre of Christians.
The United States is a communist dictatorship. If it were a free country, people wouldn’t have to pay taxes or get licenses to drive.
Each law has its own police force and legal system. For example, if you urinate in public, the special Urination Police will arrest you.
Crime
False reporting of rape is the most serious and common crime in the U.S. The most common reasons for a woman to make up a rape accusation are cheating, revenge, excuse for missed homework, lateness, work absence, and attention-getting.
The average man is falsely accused of rape and thrown into prison without trial on a daily basis. Available statistics say otherwise because the true numbers are kept under wraps by the CIA.
Gay people are fifteen times more likely than straight people to be violent criminals. All the worst serial killers in history were gay.
California has replaced its women’s prisons with spas to reward female criminals for committing crimes.
Economics
All financial crises are caused by the Federal Reserve, which is run by the Rothchild family.
All the real-estate speculators who caused the housing bubble were women.
Maternity/paternity leave is the single biggest drain on the economy. If companies got rid of parental leave, it would create enough wealth that all women would be able to quit their jobs and be full-time mothers, like they’re supposed to.
There are no poor women. Whenever a woman needs anything, she sits in the middle of the street and cries, and passerby throw food and money at her for free.
Women control 80% of the world’s wealth, thanks to all the crying.
Business
Because of Title IX (see Law), businesses with government contracts are required to hire only women to meet gender quotas.
The few businesses owned or run by women are nonprofit organizations dedicated to hurting men.
Charitable Giving
For every dollar women donate to charities to help men, men donate ten billion dollars to help women.
There are only two kinds of charities in existence: charities that only help women, and charities that only help women and children.
Women give a trillion dollars a year to charities, but these “charities” actually fronts for the huge corporations these women own. Economists are still trying to determine how women can simultaneously run all big corporations and only run small man-hating nonprofits.
Nonprofit organizations operate by photocopying fliers, posting them on walls around town, then sitting back and waiting for the money to roll in. Even though the average nonprofit doesn’t do anything else, it’s much too hard for a man to start one, because men are so oppressed.
Government
Everyone takes orders from the U.N. and the Jews.
Without government, homosexuality would not exist.
Foreign Relations
In war, women act as “cheerleaders” for both sides at once, goading otherwise peaceful men to fight. These women have no political goals or opinions; they just like watching men die.
Russia is the “deathplace capital of the world” for men because feminism was invented there (see Feminism). It is the most feminist country on earth.
All taxes in Scandinavian countries go toward women’s causes. Scandinavian grade schools have a holiday where girls are given cookies and ice cream, while boys are given stale matzo. Men in Scandinavian countries are imprisoned for farting.
Portugal and Spain are populated mostly by brown people.
Judaism is a nationality.
Marriage and Family
Somewhere in the U.S. is a place called The Ghetto, where between 70% and 99% of households consist of unemployed single mothers living entirely off welfare. Also, everyone in The Ghetto is black. Sociologists are still struggling to determine why women in The Ghetto don’t support themselves as other women do, by sitting in the street and crying until people throw stuff at them (see Economics).
99% of feminist marriages end in divorce.
The vast majority of violent rapists come from female-led households, because the feminist indoctrination boys receive in such households makes them so angry they have to go out and rape people to let off steam.
When you get married, the government owns you through your marriage contract. This is why the government can make divorced people pay alimony and/or child support.
Fatherhood is illegal in Britain and there are plans to outlaw it in the U.S. soon.
Religion
Judaism is the most aggressively evangelical religion on earth. Less than 5% of Jews are ethnically Jewish, while the rest are recruited from the tireless Jewish recruitment efforts.
Catholics worship the Virgin Mary.
In the story of Jesus saving the adulteress from stoning, the moral is that sinners deserve to be stoned.
Pedophilia
All child molesters are either women or gay men. Straight men are never pedophiles.
Prepubescent girls desperately want to have sex with middle-aged milking-machine technicians. They advertise this desire by wearing swimsuits to the beach.
Feminism
Feminism is a highly organized international movement created in the Soviet Union and currently funded by the United Nations.
Phyllis Schlafly has worked tirelessly throughout her life to promote feminist causes.
Predictions of the Future
Someday a straight white man will beat up a lesbian for molesting a five-year-old. Everyone in the world will sympathize with the lesbian and immediately legalize child molestation.
In 100 years, white people will have gone extinct because white women didn’t reproduce enough. Archeologists discovering the remains of Western culture will laugh at us for letting women have rights.
Thus concludeth the Book of Learnin
Also, here’s a cat in a tiara:
Hellkell – I think NWO must be a member of some groups that feed him news articles, as reading ones that contain no rage-activating keywords risks polluting his mind. Someone’s prescreening this stuff for him.
Because even though he always tries to cover for it, you can kinda tell he’s as surprised as anyone when it turns out there was other content in the article.
Holly, sounds like the RSS feeder from hell. What’s really funny is that he thinks WE can’t read.
@NWO you pustulent perfidious prick: Leni is quoting from sources, including the one you gave (but clearly had not read).
And the best you can do against the evidence she presented that you are totally fucking wrong is come up with those three feeble questions, the first two of which are answered in the quotes L. gave, and the last which makes no fucking sense in that there are very few first and second grade basketball teams.
Don’t let the big win go to your head–we’ll notice your incredibly weak performance.
Perhaps someday I shall re-write Emilie Autumn’s “Liar” to cover NWO.
Though I’m not sure Autumn’s music deserves to be brought down to his level, so perhaps not.
NWO: Do you ever get tired of feeling nothing but constant hatred? I mean, won’t you eventually develop ulcers?
NWOS is right about Cyrillic and Latin script being related, and he’s right about them both being derived from Greek script. What he doesn’t say is that Cyrillic script is arguably closer to Greek script than Latin script is, since Cyrillic script was derived directly from Greek script (by way of the Greek-speaking missionaries who carried Christianity into Russia and Eastern Europe) and not indirectly from Greek script by way of Latin script, like the Spanish and English alphabets. These owe their existence to the Latin-speaking (and Latin-writing) missionaries who carried Christianity into the nations immediately surrounding Italy and Rome (Greece is out of this picture since it already had a proud heritage of its own) and ultimately across the Alps into northwestern Europe and England. There were two trails of Christianization in Europe: one was the work of people who spoke and wrote Greek, and it tended eastward, the other was the word of people who spoke and wrote Latin, and it went west. The first missionary drive, unsurprisingly, left in its wake an entity called “The Greek Church”, while the second gave rise to an entity called “The Roman Church”. The alphabets followed suit.
But enough nitpickery. NWOS is, IMO, fully the equal of any oldtime alchemist, such as Paracelsus, Sidney or Newton, except: where they were intent on turning the leaden world into a world of gold, NWOS is determined to make our world of lead over into a world of baloney. And he, unlike his rivals, might succeed. (Nothing goes better with a tall glass of milk than a big slice of baloney. Baloney, yum. All hail NWOS, whose special day this is.)
So I’m a liar because I can quote sources?
Yes, there will be a boys team. It said they won’t be competing in January, not that there couldn’t be a team.
It also said that if not enough boys participate, that girls wouldn’t be competing either. Oppression doesn’t exist, remember?
No, see the the above reply.
No. I don’t hate little boys at all. In general I think they, like the young of most mammalian species, are cute and funny and I want the best for them.
You should ask yourself this regarding the state of girls’ teams in your state. Do you hate little girls so much that you think they shouldn’t even have access to the same free safety equipment that boys have?
You want little girls to get injured, is it?
zhinxy,
Thanks, My totem can’t decide if she is a bird or a reptile. I let her be both.
Of course NWO wants little girls to get injured.
He also wants to be crowned Supreme Ruler of the Earth, and he shall constantly scream about his oppression (which doesn’t exist!) until the diadem rests on his head and he is seated on a throne made from the bones of women.
He also wants to be crowned Supreme Ruler of the Earth, and he shall constantly scream about his oppression (which doesn’t exist!) until the diadem rests on his head and he is seated on a throne made from the bones of women.
Sounds like the dream fantasy of the worst types of MRAs, especially if they’re the bones of naughty women who dared to show any teasing skin, those loose whores!
NWO, my good, honest man, a rather amusing thought just occurred to me:
You have expressed, time and time again, that women are not oppressed in society today, nor were they oppressed throughout history. You also stated that men are not oppressed. Your exact words were, I believe, “that’s the way the cookie crumbles.”
Now, the Oxford English Dictionary (I looked this word up just for you, because I knew you wouldn’t trust a woman to be honest!) defines oppression as “Prolonged cruel or unjust treatment or exercise of authority, control, or power; tyranny; exploitation. Also: an act or instance of this.”
The Oxford English Dictionary also defines slave as “One who is the property of, and entirely subject to, another person, whether by capture, purchase, or birth; a servant completely divested of freedom and personal rights.” A slave is exploited, denied of his/her rights by an authority. To put it more simply, a slave is made a slave through oppression.
Now, why am I bringing this up, you may ask. Well, the pseudonym that you use to represent yourself on this site (in good faith, as you always tell us, despite the hatred you claim we direct at you) is NWOSlave. As in, a slave to the New World Order (which, as your posts would suggest, is that of feminist power and big daddy). This name suggests that you feel you are a slave to the New World Order, that this NWO has made you subject to them (exploitation) and has stripped you of your rights (unjust treatment or exercise of authority, control, or power).
In other words, the New World Order has oppressed you.
Now why would a man who stated “that’s the way the cookie crumbles” consider himself oppressed?
nwoslave | January 1, 2012 at 8:16 pm
@Leni
Three questions for you you hateful lying creature.
If not enough girls are willing to play basketball will there be a boys team?
If enough girls won’t play basketball, will boys be punished by not being able to?
Do you loathe 6 year old boys that much that you demand punishment?
Hey he’s bark! 😀
What are you talking about? xD 6 year olds? Are you talking about Title IX? o_O
Forget that he, as usual, didn’t read his own sources and what he’s claiming is non-applicable xD
NWO, ARE there 6 year old BASKETBALL TEAMS in your schools? xD Isn’t it just “gym”? XD
Next NWO is gonna complain that his grade 1 debate team was scrubbed too xD
WHAT IF NOT ENOUGH GIRLS WANT TO JOIN THE SPELLING BEE!? (and girls can’t spell anyways) THE NEWLY INSTITUTED TITLE AMI WOULD DEMAND THAT THE SCHOOL NOT SEND ANY STUDENTS TO COMPETE AND BE HUMILIATED!!!!!
My elementary schools had something called “Biddy Ball.” Basically for a few Saturdays we’d go to the high school gym and learned the basics of basketball, and then I think we played one game, maybe two, against other teams. I did it for a year before realizing that I had no hand-eye coordination and no interest in the sport, so I stopped. (Think of all the poor MALE students that I deprived by not playing basketball! The horror!)
“Next NWO is gonna complain that his grade 1 debate team was scrubbed too xD”
ONE kid says stupid girls with cooties, and the feminists went CRAZY. :p
Honestly, I think at this point, NWO is just so happy that any women are paying attn to him over that lesser-alpha Meller, that he’s trying desperately to keep his status and he’s trying to make sure the book of learning stays above Meller’s history of the world (2nd edition) xD
He does seem to be phoning it in. What happened to the dim old troll we used to know?
For a guy that wants to go toe to toe, point for point, etc etc… NWO certainly begs off whenever he has that chance with me xD And he considers me the slowest-witted of all feminists xD (or DOES he, remember he also thinks I have that gigantic superior male brain xD )
Well, Ami, clearly you stole it! It’s like the “Spock’s Brain” episode of Star Trek, in which all the incredibly stupid women manage to steal Spock’s brain through the use of some machine that could make one of them smart temporarily, and then Kirk leads remote-controlled Spock around in the hopes of finding his brain again and is a total condescending jerk to the women and assumes their leader must be male.
The third season wasn’t very good.
XDDDDDDD
IT IS!!!
omg!
That’s exactly how it is >:D
To be fair, Ami, the article he quoted without referencing was referring to K-9 sports. The girl who originally complained was, I think, in like the 5th grade.
And Title IX most assuredly applies to children.
It shouldn’t matter how old children are, just like it shouldn’t matter what race or gender or whatever they are. They deserve fair treatment and I don’t think we should scoff about that.
I know XD I wasn’t referring to that, it was his whole 6 year old thing xD
If he WANTS though, he’s happy to elaborate to me about his 6 year old basketball team being scrubbed because of not enough girls 😀
I WANT him to elaborate more but he never does 😀 If he feels I should be corrected, I want him to! 😀
*I’m happy for him to or *he’s more than welcome to
that should be 😀
Yeah the article he was talking about, or at least the one I was able to find on goggle given my limited patience, was about K-9 sports. That includes 6 year olds. More or less.
Seriously, dogging kids sports an debate teams just kinda makes you look like an ass.
But he’s not talking about a case in the article xD