Readers! Commenters! I am now (a bit late, I know) collecting nominations for Man Boobz Troll of the Year. Put forward your choice (or choices), and make the case for them, in the comments below. Feel free to make up your own categories for Troll Awards as well; I want to recognize the many and varied contributions of our many and varied trolls.
The winner(s) will receive little tiaras. But they have to go buy them for themselves, with their own money.
I am also collecting nominations for Man Boobz Troll Hunter of the Year – that is, the commenter or commenters here who you think have fought the good fight in the bestest possible ways. Again, you are free to make up your own categories for these awards.
The winner(s) here will receive a FREE viewing of the movie TrollHunter!It’s Norwegian! And really quite awesome, a faux documentary about the life of a Trolljegeren working secretly for the Norwegian government. Scary and hilarious!
Oh, and by “free viewing” I mean you can watch it on Netflix instant, if you’ve got Netflix. Hey, I’m kind of broke here. On the plus side, you can watch it even if you don’t win!
We don’t like you! We really don’t like you!
Pushy, over-educated, bitter, arch-competitive, masculinized (all right, pseudomasculinized), sexually confused (either frigid, sexless, man-hating superbitches or nymphomaniac, promiscuous, sex-addicted ubersluts) women(?) who are all undeniably modern women, if not flaming feminists, all don’t like me!
I must be doing something right!
I don’t expect that you worthless harpies would understand this, but THIS is what makes collectable dolls, and even soft, adorable plush fluffies, so much more lovable than any of you! None of you modern women have anything to worry about, nobody would touch you as a servant/ companion or love-toy for a man for all the money in the world! I was being a bit sarcastic to D. Futrelle when I suggested that a “feminist buzzing around manboobz.com might be cultured, trained, and submitted to a man as a reward–or “award”–as the case stood. Any of the manboobzettes here–YEECH!!–I would rather take my chances with hornets or sea anemones!
Lauralot et al 31 December 2011 @5:59pm:
The feeling is mutual! believe me, the feeling is mutual!! Any One of my little lady lovelies, or plush fluffy toys is worth TEN feminists, and that is even without my petting or cuddling!
How about a medical experiment in the name of science? Test a thousand modern women (easily availbable at any college, university, nonprofit foundation, law office or library) for sex-hormone balance and integrity of the XX chromosome pairing characteristic of real human females…
Compare that with the XX chromosome pairs in women during past generations!
I wouldn’t be surprised to find that a lot, maybe even the majority, of you modern women were defective from a medical and biological standpoint! The quality of femaleness in humans during the XX century may well have declined, and you all would play an important part in proving it!
Ithiliana, since YOU seem to be the most “feministic” over-educated, competitive, and bitter modern woman of the bunch on manboobz, why not submit yourself first for such a test? the others would gladly follow!
HA, Mellertoad wants something he can’t have and will never get, so we’re the defective ones.
Comedy gold.
DKM
U Mad
Seriously though, that post was pretty much why I voted for you! So wrong, and so entertaining in it’s wrongness that I simply don’t know where to start. In my heart, you’ll ALWAYS be Top Troll, Dearheart.
And now to unpack:
I don’t know what’s so confusing about that. Most of us are either one or the other! If by “nymphomaniac” you mean “has sex on her own terms when she likes with guys she likes to have sex with” of course.
And you know, that’s good, because I would rather continue my relationships with the men in my life as they are now: Fun, loving, respectful interaction with someone who views me as an intellectual and emotional equal. And I’d bet my left tit that they feel the same way.
I’m not even gonna touch the chromosome, hormone thing. Sheer hilarious stupidity, that is 😀
Do any women like you, Meller?
Actually, scratch that. Does anyone like you, Meller?
Not that it matters, but I’ll submit for comparison that my boyfriend touches me all the time, actually. It’s quite nice.
DKM, a question you’ve persistently avoided: is there anything in this for women?
Say we became cute and fluffy and we went around making you sammiches and fluffying up your day. We all left the workforce and followed our true nature and become plush fluffy fluffies.
In return, we’d get…
Um…
What would we get?
I think “guarantee of not having to choose between poverty, sex work, or an abusive marriage” would be a nice starting offer.
But fuck, I’ve got that now. What would we get that would be better?
Guys, I’m really sad now. Meller says men won’t have me as a servant or a “love-toy”!
Guess I’ll just have to stick with men having me as a partner, lover, and friend. Darn. :-p
I’m pretty damn certain that living independently doesn’t shift your hormonal balance. I haven’t known any women who got good jobs or started wearing pants and then they spontaneously stopped their period and grew facial hair. Hormones aren’t just fuzzy-wuzzy attitude things. They’re physical substances with physical effects.
I don’t even know what “integrity of the XX chromosome pairing” means. I’m pretty sure that out of your thousand women, the vast majority would be XX, there’d be a couple of XY trans women, and possibly one or two intersex women with some other chromosome combination. But you can’t be “XX, but without integrity.”
HollyP–January 1, 2012 @ 12:30
You would be loved, cherished, and adored. You would be cared for and looked after, and yes, you would be immunized against degrading and dangerous “sex work”, poverty and spinsterhood, and abusive relationships, especially since men KNOW that they get the best and the most out of their women when they are treated with kindness, gentleness, and love.
We men would be spared almost daily stats about what cruel sadistic beasts we are when rape, spusal abuse, Domestic violence and similar stats come out…
All told, satisfactory outcome all the way ’round!
Well, I like my life the way it is now, Meller. Being able to study and have a career and a loving partner. And of course women who are slaves and dependent on other people are seldom assured the life free of abuse and poverty that you posit. I don’t know, Meller — truth is, your ideas sound awful. Want to respond to that question I asked earlier? Does anyone like you, Meller?
You know what I have to say about promises like this?
YOU FIRST, BUDDY.
Make women feel cherished–genuinely cherished as people, not as prized possessions that will become un-prized the instant they start acting un-possession-y–and then we’ll see about fluffiness. Give us financial security, and then we’ll see about not seeking financial independence. Stop assaults against women, and then we’ll see about “kindness, gentleness, and love.” If all you can do is say what would happen, we have no reason to believe you.
(This still doesn’t actually work, because of women who aren’t straight and women who want to live independently, but that doesn’t matter–even if all women were wiling to make the “fluffiness for security” deal, you wouldn’t keep that deal.)
Okay, one other problem: In my current relationship, I feel loved, cherished, and adored.
I’m not a sex worker. (It wouldn’t be disastrous if I was, as long as it was a choice, but I’m not.) I’m not in poverty. I don’t know if I’m going to be a “spinster” (or care), but many feminists are married.
I treat my boyfriend, and other men I’m close to and care about, with kindness, gentleness, and love.
All that and I get to live like a human.
DKM, I’m already loved, cherished, and adored. I’m already cared for and looked after. I’m already not poor, a sex worker, a spinster, or in an abusive relationship.
Aaaaaaand I still get to write blog posts and argue with men and work and not clean unless I want to and get a PhD if I want one and join the Peace Corps and have opinions.
DKM: I just went through a thorough blood workup – probably not a genetic test, but they screen for pretty much everything else when you come in with abdominal pain. Apart from what I’m convinced are kidney stones, I am a shiny example of womanhood. Just because I don’t match YOUR ideal doesn’t mean I’m any less of a woman. It means you’re a jackass.
“DKM, I’m already loved, cherished, and adored. I’m already cared for and looked after. I’m already not poor, a sex worker, a spinster, or in an abusive relationship.”
I guess DKM just assumes none of these things are *possible* unless a woman is in a (non-BDSM) submissive relationship with a man? 😛
Lol I like how he thinks any of the women here would be disappointed that he wouldn’t date us 😀
I think I shall go cry now. And then maybe have some lunch and do the dishes.
@DKM: OK, sweetie, here’s the thing: I agree on two conditions.
FIRST: YOU prove to me HOW anybody will test the sex-hormone balance and integrity of the XX chromosome pairing characteristic of the XX chromosome pairs in women during past generations! (I’m assuming from what you say here that it would have to be from people alive during the 19th century, and a few generations from the 20th (my grandmother was born in the 19th century, and my 84 year old mother is still alive).
And we do the same thing for MEN of yesteryear and today, and you get poked as well for your genetic material.
I won’t even make you define defective from a medical and biological standpoint! although as someone with chronic/life-long immune system issues and chronic health problems, I’m sure I won’t meet the ARYANFLUFFYIDEAL you have in mind (though I’m sure you won’t either).
So, you get those two things set up, and I’ll play.
And thank you for the lovely compliment!
Is anybody but me giggling at DKM’s refusal to let us even BE masculinized: masculinized (all right, pseudomasculinized)?
Plus, DKM, where do I fit into your spectrum (not the educated, bitter, competitive–I know I’m fantastically outtasight on all those–and I can do anything you can do better!), but the sex thing.
No sex with a man since 1982.
Lifelong partnership with a woman (also overeducated, i.e. Ph.D.) since 1994.
Inquiring minds want to know.
@DKM: Also, did you notice that you tried to offer suggestions for a REWARD when David asked for nominations for an AWARD–and didn’t even catch your reading comprehension fail after I pointed it out?
How delightful for you! Then why are you here, talking to us?
You know what? I think he’s honestly hurt he didn’t win.
DMK is sad because he didn’t win so is lashing out. I can just picture him stomping his feet and pouting.
I voted for you DMK. If your life is real you’re even more pathetic and sad then slavey.
DMK I own a real estate development corporation. My husband and I met and fell in love with both of us independently wealthy and after both of us had numerous relationships and lovers.
In fact my lover at the time introduced me to my husband, he felt we were perfect for each other and we are. We in all honestly worship each other
*raises hand as another career-driven feminist in a loving relationship*
So, again: DKM, what do you have to offer us? Why would any woman want to adopt your model for relationships?
Ithiliana-January 1, 2012 @1:39pm
Where do YOU fit in on the “sex thing”? You’re probably a lezzie, in addition to being a raging feminist! As far as being arch-competitive, neuter, masculinized, and over-educated, I think that your own post says it all!
My guess is that many, if not most feminists, would probably register some genetic, chromosomal, or hormonal abnormalities compared to normal women. The unusually high levels of masculinity in their personality have to come from somewhere! I agree that testing corpses from the XIX century would pose some problems, especially since we are still substantially in the dark as to WHICH genes or their protein sequences produce sexual (along with attendent intellectual variances between males and females) behavior and manifestations. It is also possible that far SMALLER genetic, still more, hormonal quantitiative differences would still produce differences in behavior while still preserving the appearance of womanhood.
I agree that more has to be understood about genetics and endocrinology before such tests could be taken with any hope of reliable results. I still think that you feminists would test out with results quite outside the average for normal human females. Feminism isn’t NECESSARILY a disease, but it is at least a consequence of some abnormality, I would guess.
Taking tests from men wouldn’t serve any purpose! We know that there are a certain number and percentage of renegade male feminist housepets who will say or write anything to please feminists. I don’t think that there is anythng wrong with them geneticly or hormonally, they just find feminist women attractive and want some good lovin’! Hey, everyone to his own taste (says the farmer as he kisses the sow under the tail)! This isn’t MY idea of a good time, but then there is nothing about renegade male feminists that suggests abnormality, just eccentricity! I have no doubt as to my masculinity or my heterosexuality, so testing my XY chromosome patterns, or my sex hormone balances would yield no relevant results! YOUR XX, once we understood the specifics of what and where to look, Ithiliana, would be a VERY different story!
Testing men for the soundness of our gender-defining, and -maintaining, protein sequences and hormonal balances serves no purpose. Any information that you could glean from our hormones or Chromosomes would tell you only about other men, not about normal or abnormal patterns in women at all. You are trying to add apples and oranges, and come up with kumquats! I therefore have no interest in submitting to such tests even when the technology becomes available.
Maybe there are a few differences that would be observed among “male feminists” and the rest of us, but even there, one suspects that they only want to improve their access to women, such as you are, and are playing out the sympathy role to you to get some!
You are, as far as I can tell from manboobz posts here, probably a lezzie, probably overeducated and overcompetitive with men, and probably frigid, at least with men. Hey, I don’t want to be cruel, but YOU did ASK for my opinion. or at least speculation!
lol @ DKM’s understanding of science. May I recommend “Delusions of Gender” by Cordelia Fine? After that, you can try out some Anne Fausto-Sterling. Then we’ll talk.
I see that once again Meller didn’t get the slave that he wanted for Christmas. Why oh why are evil feminists so intent on making sure that slavery remains illegal? It must be something to do with our chromosomes.
By the way, I’m quite happy with the way my life is now, so your various offers are all declined. But then again you already knew that. As you said yourself, if you had ever been able to find a single woman willing to accept the life that you want to offer her, you wouldn’t be here. But you are, thus proving that what you want is unacceptable to women as a whole, and you’re never, ever going to get it.
Sucks to be you!