Readers! Commenters! I am now (a bit late, I know) collecting nominations for Man Boobz Troll of the Year. Put forward your choice (or choices), and make the case for them, in the comments below. Feel free to make up your own categories for Troll Awards as well; I want to recognize the many and varied contributions of our many and varied trolls.
The winner(s) will receive little tiaras. But they have to go buy them for themselves, with their own money.
I am also collecting nominations for Man Boobz Troll Hunter of the Year – that is, the commenter or commenters here who you think have fought the good fight in the bestest possible ways. Again, you are free to make up your own categories for these awards.
The winner(s) here will receive a FREE viewing of the movie TrollHunter!It’s Norwegian! And really quite awesome, a faux documentary about the life of a Trolljegeren working secretly for the Norwegian government. Scary and hilarious!
Oh, and by “free viewing” I mean you can watch it on Netflix instant, if you’ve got Netflix. Hey, I’m kind of broke here. On the plus side, you can watch it even if you don’t win!
Also, most awesomely named animal ever that I can’t find a picture of because I don’t know the real name – the Fuck You Lizard. My ex spent part of his childhood in a rural part of the Phillipines, and he says that this particular lizard had a call that sounded like it was saying “fuck you!”, and so that’s what everyone locally called it, the Fuck You Lizard. I wish I could figure out the real name, he says it was kind of cute.
@Cassandra
Googled it for ya, http://www.the-lizard-lounge.com/content/gallery/lizard-pictures/tokay-gecko-pictures-1.asp. I’m gonna crash now, it’s mad late out here. G’nite!!
ps http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dR9tn0yNqQo
GOLD!!
whoops
The Fuck You Lizard! He was right, it is kind of cute.
I’m thinking that troll-of-the-year is coming down to a 3-way race between NWO, Meller, and (relative) newcomer and underdog Arks.
I honestly don’t know who deserves it most.
I think I’m going to put up a little poll and make it PEOPLE’S CHOICE!!!!
But each one of them will get some sort of award.
If you want to make your case for one (or more) of the three, lay it out for me. Or if there are specific troll comments you want to cite. (If you can remember key phrases in them I can probably find them for you.)
If any of you want to make a case for someone else to include in the poll besides these three, make your case now!
Also, trolls are allowed to make the case for themselves!
As for Trollhunters, there’s an embarrassment of riches. I think the only way to handle it is with lots of awards!
CassandraSays and Shadow! – AWESOME! I grew up on tales of the fuck you lizard! hah!
Baby sharks are kind of cute, at least until you learn they cannibalize their siblings in the womb. Not the nice kind either, where the sibling fetus dies and gets absorbed by the other fetus, no sharks actually kill and eat their siblings before their even born. Cool, but really scary.
If I can only vote for one, then it’s Arks.
NWO and DKM are great troll, but they regularly make me lose hope in humanity and want to stab myself with a spoon while Arks makes me ROTFL. He talks less but most of his comments are pure diamonds (in a trollish sense, obviously) and he repeats himself so much less.
I keep wondering what it says about me that Meller never makes me depressed, just amused in a really malicious way because it’s so obvious that he’s going to be frustrated and miserable his entire life because of his own misogyny.
Maybe it just says that I’m a mean person, I dunno, but every comment of his that I read all I can think is “lol, sucks to be you, and it’s never going to get any better”.
Shouldn’t there be some sort of honorable mention for that TAB kid? You know, the one who posted his picture by way of winning/making an argument?
Any way, my vote’s for NWO; pig-ignorant, sputtering with rage, almost completely disconnected from reality.
I agree with CassandraSays; perhaps I am also a mean person. The Meller-toad, while completely disgusting, is unintentionally hilarious. Especially when you picture him with his little monocle and spats, rushing into safety of his dark, lonely, little cave and setting up a tea party with his dollies.
Troll you keep expecting to see on the evening news
I’d change the title to Troll Most Likely To Be Found Wearing The Combined Skins Of His Victims Stitched Together To Form A Twisted Parody Of A Woman’s Dress, but I agree with the two nominations.
Om Nom for Most Likely To Be Found Wearing An Actual Woman’s Dress.
We should put together a compendium of Meller’s greatest hits. It’s hard to pick a favorite, but “you should call me MellerLove” and “giggles are nice, but not when Ami giggles at me” were touching in their wistful desire for acceptance of his loathsome self, and the whole bit about how women in STEM have prevented men from developing ESP and hovercars was definitely a highlight.
Oh! We have to include “I bet you’re all jealous of the cute kitties because you know your boyfriend likes them better than you” too.
DKM definitely takes the gong for that fucking bizarre ability to switch personalities between drooling, poo-smeared psychopath shouting at the voices in his head, and bumbling, amiable, bow-tie-wearing dad trying to make a good impression at his daughter’s dinner party. Suggested award names at varying levels of conciseness:
The “You’re All A Bunch Of Stinky-C*nt Whores! Anyway, What Are We Doing Today, Fellows?” Award
The “I Hate You, Please Love Me” Award
The Truly Pitiful Award
The “I bet you wish you were a fluffy kitten, more men would want to fuck you then” Award?
Newborn kangaroo. Warning: deeply, deeply unpleasant to look at.
Best vision of a new world order: Anthony Zarat
Best troll simply because he keeps contradicting himself and trying to get us to admit that we’re evil has to be NWO.
I think Arks deserves something for his hate poetry (a vagina-shaped commemorative plaque!) but he’s quite new, whereas Meller and NWO have been around a while. Meller is a disaster of a human being, but NWO has him beat for sheer vileness and commitment to trolling here. He’s the most hateful, the least coherent, the most repetitive, and I’m pretty sure he’s here more than I am – and I have no life, you guys. I think he should take home the prize.
For claiming that women’s sexuality is all about what they wear with the flimsiest possible evo-psych justification; for using evo-psych when he doesn’t even believe in evolution; for finding and falling in love with key phrases he barely understands and then repeating them at random intervals, my personal favourite being ZERO-SUM GAME; for being a grown man who doesn’t seem to have developed a theory of mind (my only explanation for how he thinks women give him boners on purpose); I must tip my hat to the greatest of them all.
NWO is the top troll because he is the angriest and most irrational. Meller takes a close second but he’s just behind the times by a century or 2.
When did MRAL upgrade from a troll to decent human being. It seems like one thread he was his usual frothy self then the next he was like any other poster.
You’re not the only one, Cassandra. Mellertoad is his own kind of hilariously stupid.
NWO wins hands down. I have never seen anyone so consistently vile.
Maggots?
Wait. Monsieur sans Nom is trolling? I read manboobz all the time and I had no idea zie is doing so… I nominate MsN for Most Dull in the special New Comers category.
@Nobinayamu
“Best Recurring Guest Star”?
I vote NWO for most consistently entertaining breakdowns, whose hits range from “Zero Sum Game!” to “Don’t quote the Bible!!! You don’t get to quote the Bible!!!”