Readers! Commenters! I am now (a bit late, I know) collecting nominations for Man Boobz Troll of the Year. Put forward your choice (or choices), and make the case for them, in the comments below. Feel free to make up your own categories for Troll Awards as well; I want to recognize the many and varied contributions of our many and varied trolls.
The winner(s) will receive little tiaras. But they have to go buy them for themselves, with their own money.
I am also collecting nominations for Man Boobz Troll Hunter of the Year – that is, the commenter or commenters here who you think have fought the good fight in the bestest possible ways. Again, you are free to make up your own categories for these awards.
The winner(s) here will receive a FREE viewing of the movie TrollHunter!It’s Norwegian! And really quite awesome, a faux documentary about the life of a Trolljegeren working secretly for the Norwegian government. Scary and hilarious!
Oh, and by “free viewing” I mean you can watch it on Netflix instant, if you’ve got Netflix. Hey, I’m kind of broke here. On the plus side, you can watch it even if you don’t win!
Troll of the Year –
For sheer, unrelenting, damn-the-torpedoes anti-logic, NWOslave.
Funniest –
In no particular order: Holly, Ozy, Cynickal, Ami, Bagelsan.
Most Dainty Use of Language When Saying Despicable Things: Meller. Because he’s not terrible for suggesting women be sold by their families into sex work in “houses of entertainment”, you’re terrible for calling them brothels! And also for saying fuck that one time!
Don’t forget the pearl-cluthing when I used the word “wank”.
I hope he never goes to the UK on vacation. He’s going to need a nice pair of noise-cancelling headphones.
I’m funniest! XDDDDDDD
Funniest clearly has to go to Owlyslave, though.
Least Self-Aware Troll –
Brandon
I’m going to have to disagree with you here, CassandraSays, as far as B is concerned. I have it on good authority that his girlfriend gives him blowjobs. Blowjobs. We’re talking non-procreative sex, here. Step back.
Sometimes they even leave the lights on. Are you scandalized yet?
Also spanking. Spanking! And I hear they even bought those cheap plastic handcuffs from Spencer Gifts!
Most pathetic troll confession – when Arks got up close and personal with a vagina and was really sad that it wasn’t as gross as he’d hoped it would be.
So scandalized!
Most Tenacious in the Face of Trollversity: Holly.
Most effort for least results – definitely Om Nom.
and not only that, but I heard Ashley enjoys sex… get this. .. AT DIFFERENT SPEEDS!
Sometimes, (get a grip on something) UP AGAINST A WALL!
Most effective inadvertent argument for political lesbianism. Your contenders are – NWO, Brandon, and Whatever.
Actually Whatever wins for comments that are such a turn-off that they should be considered a form of contraceptive.
Troll Most Likely to be a Batman Villain –
David K. Meller. Guy reminds of the Mad Hatter.
Troll you keep expecting to see on the evening news – NWO vs Meller again.
Wouldn’t Meller make an awesome local news segment? Observe, the angry old man with the dolls. He lives right up the street, you know.
4srs, a Meller-documentary would quite probably be a masterpiece…
Wait, we forgot someone! Troll whose friends and family will be most horrified if they ever find out about his online persona – Anthony Zarat. Can you imagine that dinner table conversation?
Troll who doesn’t appear to understand that he is not David Attenborough narrating a wildlife documentary – Explore Nature.
HAHAHHAHA. The Manboobzers Have No Interest in Explore Nature, whatsoEVAH-
Great, now I want a pet sloth to go along with the snow leopard, the red panda, and the fenig.
@Cassandra
Back in Africa, the owner of one of the national parks actually raised a lion cub. I was mad jealous
Now I’m mad jealous too.
I actually know a woman who grew up on a big cat rescue facility site (her parents ran the place), so she got to play with tiger and lion cubs as a child. You have no idea how jealous I was when she told me about that.
And then there was the friend whose family in Nigeria had a crocodile farm. Which didn’t seem all the cute at first, but then she showed me the pictures of the babies.
Yeah, baby crocs and alligators are cute. I’m hard pressed to think of a baby animal that isn’t cute. Back home our dog ended up killing a bat that got into our house. We then found out it had been chilling in the corner of one of our closets and raising three kids. Feeding those pink skinned big eyed lovable freaks was absolutely adorable (we fed em milk drops off our fingertips)
OK, bats are definitely adorable.
Non-cute babies…sharks? That’s about all I can think of.
Most entertaining troll: Arks
Most elaborate fantasy world shared with us: DKM
Greatest change: MRAL
Greatest trollhunters: Ami (for making trolls angry with her smiles), Holly, Pecunium.
Greatest parodies: Lauralot
And I would like to nominate the MGTOW movement as silliest one.