One of my favorite manosphere blogs is no more. Its proprietor, worried that he might get “outed” in real life, decided to shut it down and delete everything. In deference to his desire for privacy, I will refer to him here only as Arky-May Ark-May. He will be missed.
Luckily, before the shutdown, I managed to grab one last post, a little gem titled “The Vagina, by Christopher in Oregon.” Chris, a longtime friend of Arky-May, is something of an expert on this particular subject, in his own special way. As a man who is very definitely Going His Own Way, it seems clear that he’s had little or no experience or contact with actual vaginas. But he seems to think about them more than perhaps anyone on earth. His thoughts are not kind thoughts.
So let’s pour one out for Arky-May’s lost blog, and enjoy Christopher of Oregon’s ruminations:
Men spend most of their lives trying to get back into the hole they shot out of, so they need to stop for a moment and analyze it. The vagina, I mean.
Here we go.
At first glance, it’s mighty ugly. Floppy lips dangling down like bat wings. The entire region pelted with ugly pubic hair. It’s greasy, and the more aroused and broody she becomes, the greasier it gets.
The greasier? The greasier? You’ve never actually touched one, have you? Reading Christopher of Oregon on the vagina is a bit like listening to a high school student who hasn’t done the reading try to bluff his way through a teacher’s question on Macbeth.
Have I mentioned the smell yet? Let me tell you, it’s horrifying. I have an up-scale Sushi restaurant near my home. I love Sushi, by the way. But, on the edge of the parking lot of the afore-mentioned restaurant, they dump the scraps and unsold fish into a dumpster. I walked by there the other day when it was about 85 degrees, and the smell just about knocked me over. The first thought that occurred to me was that it smelled just like every vagina I’ve ever known.
Chris, clearly the only vaginas you’ve ever known have been fish vaginas. (Do fish have vaginas? They must, right?)
Now, a skunk smells bad. A dead possum smells bad. So does a cat box. But a vagina? That goes beyond bad. And, no, it’s not “musky” or “tart” as some women like to say.
It’s bad. Really bad. I don’t think we have single word in the English language that adequately describes the foul, rancid odor of a woman’s vagina.
Also, they are full of cooties! And centipedes! And mousetraps! And LIBRARY FINES!
There is something patently WRONG with something that produces such a noxious stench that it could, as the old saying goes, knock a buzzard off a shit-wagon at fifty paces.
I’m pretty sure that even the foulest vagina in the history of the world wouldn’t be able to knock a buzzard off a shit-wagon at any distance further than a couple of yards. Buzzards love shit-wagons!
I just ask you fellows to put that hairy hole in proper perspective.
Huh. I thought Harry Hole was a fictional Norwegian detective.
Ah, well. I’m off to lunch with a greatly reduced appetite.
Say hi to Arky-May for us.
But she was also a latina, I think, which made his interest in such an obvious disgustatron OK.
And also the hats! She wears hats! No non-lesbian woman would dare wear a hat, let alone multiple hats! It was a beanie, guys!
Oh yeah, that was totally the best. I was looking forward to his series where he was going to use Maria as an example of some weird MGTOW-created fantasy about how awful women are all the time. I cannot for the life of me remember what it was — it was something he posted after the last time he said he was going to stop blogging … So many unfulfilled promises, Marky Mark. Why?
HOW WILL THE CHILD-MANBOOBZERS AND CHILD-PERVOCRATS LEARN GRAMMAR IF YOU’RE NOT HERE SPEAR
GRAMMAR AND THE PROPER WAY TO WEAR VESTS
AND VICTORIAN VAMPIRES
AND WHICH PONIES ARE THE BEST
HOW CAN WE DEAL WITH DKM IF WE DONT KNOW ABOUT VICTORIAN VAMPIRES
Whilst I certainly think men’s obsession with vagina’s is a little silly, they /arn’t/ pretty, and they /don’t/ smell or taste good, just like penises , but this is ridiculous,they aren’t that freaking bad, if it’s really that horrendous, than there is a special case, one of some sort of infection it seems.
Ah, Marky one of my first run-ins with MRAs, so much hate inside one little man
That vintage poster you chose has the oddest pose between the couple. What, is he sniffing her eyeball? Are women supposed to worry about how those smell now too?
Summer’s Eve for Eyes – coming this spring.
I’m not surprised that you posted about the demise of Ark-may’s blog while I was asleep, and he was already re-posting by the time I woke up. This is the second time in a few months he’s threatened to take his ball and go home.
I did love the Maria saga, though. Post after post of micro-analyzing her clothes, her words, and her actions until even his own commenters were concerned about his journey to crazytown. She’s South American, I think, so she was exotic with nice T&A until she brushed him off, when her choice of clothes and touchy-feely friendship with another woman in the office alerted him to her scandalous orientation – the only logical reason she refused to date him!. Then he kept saying she totally embodied the chameleon something something, like totally, and he was going to write a big long post about it, and I don’t think he ever did. I’m not sure his regular, sympathetic readers enjoyed the saga as much as we did, so no one ever complained.
So basically this post is: “Let me tell you ’bout vaginas,” says a celibate man.
A bad fishy smell often indicates bacterial vaginosis. If he encounters this again, I hope he will encourage the woman in question to go to the doctor.
In the absence of infection, however, vaginas generally smell fine.
aaaahhh, i forgot about chameleon syndrome!!!
Vaginas and vulvas are very nice. Lysol does not belong in them.
Do I even want to know what chameleon syndrome is, or will I regret asking?
Bee: I wear hats. Well, one hat, and only in the winter (for srs, Michigan winters do not fuck around). But it is kind of a beanie, I guess… OMG, does this make me gay! What will I tell MrB?!?!
I don’t really like hats, at least on me – my hair is too curly and hats squish it. Do I get a cookie for being not-a-lesbian because of this?
chameleon syndrome is when you can’t tell a woman is a lesbian just by looking at her
as far as i can tell, its all based on a single study from the 70s that showed that high school girls who are worried about peer reactions to non-gender conforming behavior overcompensate in the other direction. some mra included it in his book and marky mark picked up on it.
The Manhood 101ers are hated by most MRAs, not so much because they are more extreme than the typical MRAs (which they are, a bit) but because they attack other MRAs and call them manginas. Also, they spam blogs and forums with links.
Bee, so glad that Arky-May will be returning!
Also, these comments there are sort of hilarious:
No sense of irony there, huh?
Significantly influenced? Arky-May? Boy, that’s an embarrassing revelation for Ferd there. That’s a bit like admitting you eat boogers. Other people’s boogers.
Poor Christopher from Oregon. The best he can do is people with severe hygiene problems and end-stage STIs who love to rub themselves down with Crisco before getting busy. Must be rough.
If this guy ever in his life came within two miles of a vagina, I’ll be a monkey’s butt! The guy is a sexually repressed religious fanatic. Plus, anyone who is that openly repulsed by (and egregiously misinformed about) the genitalia of the opposite gender must be a deeply tormented closet homosexual. Call Marcus Bachmann to help him “pray away the gay.” Har-dee, har, har!
*blinks*
Dude, if vaginas creep you out this much, maybe vagina isn’t for you?
Then again, I know gay dudes who don’t find the female body utterly gross. And I’m pretty sure asexual dudes don’t care enough to contemplate them.
I mean, fuck, why is this worth your time to the point of perpetrating the childish “pussy = fishy ick!” nonsense.
*blinks again*
Damn…”greasy”? It’s like the only exposure he’s had is just seeing them in porn vids…
My vagina has never been greasy! UGH.
Is there a word for people being this phobic about body stuff? This isn’t a simple “not for me” reaction, it’s really weird and extreme. It may be that he’s trying to talk himself into being disgusted for sociopolitical purposes, but if not it sounds like an actual phobia. Like when people can’t see a spider without screaming.
Maybe he’s extremely OCD , and his focus is on cleanliness?
@David:
Random question: Do most MRAs think of The Spearhead as extreme? Has that site ever been criticized by another prominent MRM site?
Wait…is Arky May Arks?
Nah, Cassandra, Marky Mark is way too simple and doesn’t have Arks’ turn of phrase.