One of my favorite manosphere blogs is no more. Its proprietor, worried that he might get “outed” in real life, decided to shut it down and delete everything. In deference to his desire for privacy, I will refer to him here only as Arky-May Ark-May. He will be missed.
Luckily, before the shutdown, I managed to grab one last post, a little gem titled “The Vagina, by Christopher in Oregon.” Chris, a longtime friend of Arky-May, is something of an expert on this particular subject, in his own special way. As a man who is very definitely Going His Own Way, it seems clear that he’s had little or no experience or contact with actual vaginas. But he seems to think about them more than perhaps anyone on earth. His thoughts are not kind thoughts.
So let’s pour one out for Arky-May’s lost blog, and enjoy Christopher of Oregon’s ruminations:
Men spend most of their lives trying to get back into the hole they shot out of, so they need to stop for a moment and analyze it. The vagina, I mean.
Here we go.
At first glance, it’s mighty ugly. Floppy lips dangling down like bat wings. The entire region pelted with ugly pubic hair. It’s greasy, and the more aroused and broody she becomes, the greasier it gets.
The greasier? The greasier? You’ve never actually touched one, have you? Reading Christopher of Oregon on the vagina is a bit like listening to a high school student who hasn’t done the reading try to bluff his way through a teacher’s question on Macbeth.
Have I mentioned the smell yet? Let me tell you, it’s horrifying. I have an up-scale Sushi restaurant near my home. I love Sushi, by the way. But, on the edge of the parking lot of the afore-mentioned restaurant, they dump the scraps and unsold fish into a dumpster. I walked by there the other day when it was about 85 degrees, and the smell just about knocked me over. The first thought that occurred to me was that it smelled just like every vagina I’ve ever known.
Chris, clearly the only vaginas you’ve ever known have been fish vaginas. (Do fish have vaginas? They must, right?)
Now, a skunk smells bad. A dead possum smells bad. So does a cat box. But a vagina? That goes beyond bad. And, no, it’s not “musky” or “tart” as some women like to say.
It’s bad. Really bad. I don’t think we have single word in the English language that adequately describes the foul, rancid odor of a woman’s vagina.
Also, they are full of cooties! And centipedes! And mousetraps! And LIBRARY FINES!
There is something patently WRONG with something that produces such a noxious stench that it could, as the old saying goes, knock a buzzard off a shit-wagon at fifty paces.
I’m pretty sure that even the foulest vagina in the history of the world wouldn’t be able to knock a buzzard off a shit-wagon at any distance further than a couple of yards. Buzzards love shit-wagons!
I just ask you fellows to put that hairy hole in proper perspective.
Huh. I thought Harry Hole was a fictional Norwegian detective.
Ah, well. I’m off to lunch with a greatly reduced appetite.
Say hi to Arky-May for us.
Yay, blockquote FAIL.
Oh dear, did someone clue Arky-May’s stalking target in to his blog? Because that would be TERRIBLE. Feminism has made it so a man can’t hardly obsess over a co-worker and engage in online speculation about her sexuality without worrying the Feminist Police will tell on him!
Actually, I find it amazing that a guy who believes he has the knowledge that could save MANkind is so skittish of people around him knowing what he thinks.
Chris In Oregon is kind of special, even for a MGHOW.
thank god he’s republishing his greatest hits. a lot of our resident trolls have the same hilariously indefatigable confidence in their own erudition (dkm, owlslave, nameless teenager) but none of them compare to marky mark.
i wonder if his one-eighty is because he now thinks if someone links his blog to his actual identity it will end with him being crowned the brilliant philosopher king of the mgtow.
Awwww, Arkymay Arkmay is pulling a Roissy and changing his name/reuploading his posts! How cute.
Thankfully, I don’t have to worry about this with the misogynist I’m a big fan of, the (He)artist(e) formerly known as Roissy… he’ll keep producing garbage until the last nightclub closes and the last pornified twenty-year-old throws a drink in his face.
Protip: if you’re looking to delete your blog, make it private so only you can see it. That way your posts stay archived but you still don’t have to worry about inconvenient people discovering you exist.
They never can stick to their flounces.
Also, I would like to go on recording stating that some men have not-so-nice smelling crotches, too.
I get so sick of this trope about fetid fishy vaginas. Admittedly, I’ve never been that personal with another woman, but if the average vulva was as putrid as described, I wouldn’t need to even be in the same room with another woman to be choking on the noxious odor.
I am sure that there might be various bad odors associated with various health problems, and I am sure that a minority of women have poor personal hygiene, but that doesn’t make these statements any less nonsensical. I mean, if one is in good health and able to keep clean, there is rarely a problem. I do not use Lysol (shudder) or douches or weird scented sprays. I don’t even wear underwear to bed. And, perhaps consequently, I have never had a single yeast infection. And, while I’m sure there is some subtle pheromonal bouquet down there, I hardly have much of a discernible odor at all.
Defensiveness over these ignorant ravings is pointless, I know, but I’m sure I cannot be such a paragon of hygiene that I possess the vagina on the planet redolent of a delicate faintly-scented flower. (I’m sure a little hyperbole is okay, considering what I’m responding to.) So, the only conclusion is that the angry and unwillingly celibate little man who wrote the quoted screed has either (a) no actual experience with the vulva of a living woman, or (b) experience only with unfortunately diseased women with little access to sanitary facilities.
Sour grapes, indeed.
The only vagina on the planet, I meant to say. Why no edit button?
Trust me, you’re not.
(The only possessor of a vagina redolent of a delicate faintly-scented flower, that is – I didn’t mean that you’re not a paragon of hygiene).
Off topic, but I have to bring your attention to an MRA ebook I just found. It’s called, (ironically, it turns out) “The Principles Of Social Competence”, and among all the illegally republished artwork it contains gems such as this:
“As a man, you represent the highest ordering agent. Your capacity to exercise authority is inherently attractive and fearful to all people.When people genuinely acknowledge your authority, they will fear you. Yet because this fear provides an orderly arrangement, they will simultaneously become attracted to you. The end result is love.
Fear is required to meet the universal need for order. By neglecting to address violations of your authority with pain, you undermine anyorder previously created. In layman’s terms: if women cease to fear you, they will also cease to love you.”
The whole thing is online at “The Manhood Academy”:
http://www.manhood101.com/
Enjoy.
I have no idea what that guy is talking about. Pussy = yum. Fact. Maybe he accidentally engaged in a personal relationship with a chimpanzee or something.
“I really hope he republishes the Maria posts — the ones about his coworker who he talked to a couple times, who rejected him, who he then started obsessing over and decided that she was a lesbian because she wears hats. ”
I must read this.
I can vouch for that, too!
In honour of this post, I’m announcing that I’m leaving forever!
You won’t have Spearhafoc to push around any more!
o.0
And they might just run to the police and tell them about all the beatings?
I mean it! I’m really gonna do it!
Just you watch me!
Come on! Why aren’t you watching me?!
NOOOOOO, Spearhafoc! You have literally redefined what it is to be a Manboobzer!!! I read all your comments! I will go back and save all your comments so Manboobzers in the future will be able to learn from your heartfelt wisdom. This place will never be the same, and in fact, it is already reeling from this great loss. You are like Christians in 100 A.D., having to hide or be persecuted!
Let the weeping and lamenting commence.
What about the young Manboobzers? Who will they learn from? PLEASE THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN-MANBOOBZERS, SPEAR!
@cassandra
the maria stuff is way more fascinating in the abstract than it is to read. (contrary to marky mark’s own analysis, he doesn’t really grasp the subtleties of english writing- case in point, when someone quipped that his idea for a supersized freedom tower would require nyc to have bedrock made of marble, he responded that it does have bedrock, he just doesn’t know what it’s made of)
summary: marky mark singled-out a woman as his interest and spends months obsessing over her while also constantly talking about how she’s not really that great of a catch (because she’s over thirty, divorced, etc.). he finally gets the courage to ask her out, she politely blows him off for a few days, he finally gets the message and switches full gear to proving objectively that she’s a lesbian based on things like the way she walks/the people she hangs out with.
imo the best bit is where he publicly flips out on her for using her femininity to get her way because she was in a hurry and asked if she could cut in line at the punchclock one day, followed by a blog-only freakout because she accepted his apology to graciously. but even marky mark realized that incident reflected poorly on him, so i doubt it’s going to make version 2.
@Graham:
Wow that was…something. I spent about 2 minutes perusing their forum and now my brain needs a cold shower.
What I found odd was that in one thread, they mercilessly mock Paul Elam and the MRA, and from reading that thread alone (despite how childish their insults are), you think “Huh. Well it’s nice to see that, even on a site as misguided as this, people wish to stand apart from the MRM”
And then you come to this:
http://manhood101.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=18&t=494
…and realize they’re just as bad.
@ Sharculese – Well, that certainly does support my general theory about MRAs. Their whole movement seems to be about unfortunate experiences they’ve had with women, but the thing is, in most cases those experiences were caused by their own bizarre behavior.