One of my favorite manosphere blogs is no more. Its proprietor, worried that he might get “outed” in real life, decided to shut it down and delete everything. In deference to his desire for privacy, I will refer to him here only as Arky-May Ark-May. He will be missed.
Luckily, before the shutdown, I managed to grab one last post, a little gem titled “The Vagina, by Christopher in Oregon.” Chris, a longtime friend of Arky-May, is something of an expert on this particular subject, in his own special way. As a man who is very definitely Going His Own Way, it seems clear that he’s had little or no experience or contact with actual vaginas. But he seems to think about them more than perhaps anyone on earth. His thoughts are not kind thoughts.
So let’s pour one out for Arky-May’s lost blog, and enjoy Christopher of Oregon’s ruminations:
Men spend most of their lives trying to get back into the hole they shot out of, so they need to stop for a moment and analyze it. The vagina, I mean.
Here we go.
At first glance, it’s mighty ugly. Floppy lips dangling down like bat wings. The entire region pelted with ugly pubic hair. It’s greasy, and the more aroused and broody she becomes, the greasier it gets.
The greasier? The greasier? You’ve never actually touched one, have you? Reading Christopher of Oregon on the vagina is a bit like listening to a high school student who hasn’t done the reading try to bluff his way through a teacher’s question on Macbeth.
Have I mentioned the smell yet? Let me tell you, it’s horrifying. I have an up-scale Sushi restaurant near my home. I love Sushi, by the way. But, on the edge of the parking lot of the afore-mentioned restaurant, they dump the scraps and unsold fish into a dumpster. I walked by there the other day when it was about 85 degrees, and the smell just about knocked me over. The first thought that occurred to me was that it smelled just like every vagina I’ve ever known.
Chris, clearly the only vaginas you’ve ever known have been fish vaginas. (Do fish have vaginas? They must, right?)
Now, a skunk smells bad. A dead possum smells bad. So does a cat box. But a vagina? That goes beyond bad. And, no, it’s not “musky” or “tart” as some women like to say.
It’s bad. Really bad. I don’t think we have single word in the English language that adequately describes the foul, rancid odor of a woman’s vagina.
Also, they are full of cooties! And centipedes! And mousetraps! And LIBRARY FINES!
There is something patently WRONG with something that produces such a noxious stench that it could, as the old saying goes, knock a buzzard off a shit-wagon at fifty paces.
I’m pretty sure that even the foulest vagina in the history of the world wouldn’t be able to knock a buzzard off a shit-wagon at any distance further than a couple of yards. Buzzards love shit-wagons!
I just ask you fellows to put that hairy hole in proper perspective.
Huh. I thought Harry Hole was a fictional Norwegian detective.
Ah, well. I’m off to lunch with a greatly reduced appetite.
Say hi to Arky-May for us.
… and don’t get him started on womens’ breasts and how they feel like bags of sand.
“It’s greasy, and the more aroused and broody she becomes, the greasier it gets.”
brood·y /ˈbrudi/ [broo-dee]
adjective, brood·i·er, brood·i·est.
1. moody; gloomy.
2. inclined to sit on eggs: a broody hen.
Well, I know when I’m inclined to sit on my eggs, I like to pre-grease them. Makes them easier to fry when I eat my own reptilian feminist young.
OMFG, I dies at it. So full of win. The article and the comments already. My side hurts.
So basically this is just a slightly more sophisticated version of “EW! Girls have cooties!”
If it is such a terrible thing, how is it possible that so many straight men apparently enjoy sex? Or stand going down on a vulva-haver?
And what’s the point of trying to convince people that something smells bad? They like it or they don’t, it’s as stupid as if he tried to convince people they don’t really like sushis. That doesn’t work, if they’ve already tasted some.
You know, I think that Christopher in Oregon could prove useful to conservative government abstinence-only campaigns. He can go into elementary schools and make young boys so terrified of evil, foul-smelling holes of doom, that they’ll go their own way before they hit puberty.
Or, maybe that will work as well as current abstinence-only education does.
I feel seriously bad for this guy’s warped senses of sight, smell, and taste. /a lesbian’s opinion
If every vagina I came in contact was as nasty as he described, I would probably go my own way as well.
Fortunately for me, my experience differs greatly.
And I will never look at a bottle of lysol in the same way again.
This guy is 20 years old, tops. They’re generally the ones with the “ew, gross” attitude about going downtown.
My experience differs totally. What species has Christopher of Oregon tried to copulate with? And doesn’t “Christopher of Oregon” sound like some kind of medieval ascetic?
blitzgal: At 20, I loved it. 🙂
wetherby: I know of at least one woman who over-douched and got bacterial vaginosis. Bad odor there. (Of course, many would say that one douche is over douching)
Another woman i used to date would constantly take bubble baths even though she knew it would give her a yeast infection. (Not sure if it was the brand or just her body or whatever).
I am also sure there are men who do not have good smelling nether regions as well.
But for the most part, women I have been with have not had repulsive vaginas. And in some cases they were quite delectable.
Good point, Weatherby. Augustine of Hippo, meet Arks of Manatee.
There once was an Oregonian named ‘topher.
Of vaginas he’d had enough and was over.
He’d seen a great dumpster,
Had second thunk, sir!
And thus declined to be any lady’s lover.
Heck, society doesn’t hate men, society hates whinny men, self-centered, violent, bitter, lazy melodramatic, sexist, obnoxious, insecure, irrational, martyr, fact-spinners misogynist men – the exact type of men who belong to the hate group called: MRA and anti-feminists. And society makes no apology about hating men like this.
Those mra dudes produce nothing positive in our society. MRA and anti- feminists promote violence, domestic abuse and rape, negativity and hate. Nothing else. They are a waste of male human beings. Violent, dishonest and hateful group of “men”.
MRA gays make fun of smelly vaginas but is a male’s hairy butt-hole any better smelling? I didn’t think so.
They keep trying to get guys to not like girls. Bunch of babies. It ain’t gonna happen dudes. You all just look like sour grapes. That’s it. Everyone can see your agenda and your hate. Cry us a river boys. We don’t have any sympathy for you. You don’t deserve an ounce of respect. You get back what you put out. You deserve all the misery you put yourselves in. Happy New Year boys.
I kind of want to conduct a series of experiments on the “eeeeeeeeew, vulvas smell like ROTTEN FISH” contingent. Like, is this a cilantro thing, where there’s a genetic quirk that makes the experience of sniffing a groin uniquely unpleasant? How do they react to their own underdrawers’ scent? Is it just women, or would they have a “EWWWW FISHY” reaction to a faceful of someone else’s scrotum sweat if they ever ended up in a headed-downtown sort of position with a cis gentleman?
The “rotten fish” thing is just so consistent that I wonder. I mean, I’ve never experienced anything like it, and I’ve been in a position to notice. Ultimately, though, this all kind of takes a secondary position to “HEY IF YOU HATE WOMEN SO MUCH THAT YOU’RE ACTIVELY REPULSED BY A BODY PART MOST OF THEM HAVE, MAYBE THE ISSUE HERE IS THAT YOU DON’T ACTUALLY WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM, OR POSSIBLY ANYONE, I’M JUST SAYING.”
CIO is in his late 40s, I believe. He just … I’ve tried to figure him out for a very long time now. I think he knows he’s lying, but the more over-the-top and unbelievable his stories are, the more cookies he gets from the credulous MRAs who read them. I even think some of the MRAs know he’s lying too; they just have incredibly bad taste in fiction, I guess? If they don’t exactly believe him, they at least find his brand of misogyny “hilarious.”
I AM SO SAD THAT MAR … ER … ARKY-MAY ARK-MAY IS GONE! He was absolutely my favorite MGTOW blogger. Pourin a little liquor out for my homie, yo. I was hoping David would get to MM’s recent, weird blog post about how MM has talked to two, count ’em, TWO married men in recent years who, upon learning that MM was unmarried, totally vindicated his decision to stay away from the ladies. That’s right. MM told them that he “just hasn’t found the right woman,” which was “code” for “women suck,” and the married men (poor saps) picked up on the woman-hatred MM was throwin out, and they chuckled and said, “Lucky you, oh, I wish I wasn’t tied down to the ol’ ball and chain.” Because that
old chestnutscenario has never happened in the history of marriage ever, MM rightly assumed that MGTOW is gaining ground, and ALL MEN EVERYWHERE hate women and are only just now finding the voice to speak out against their evil wifely overlords.Oh, anyway, I’ll miss MM a lot. Until I find the next deadly serious, deeply stupid MGTOW who thinks he has some thoughts he’d like to share, I guess.
That’s the one major downside to being sexually interested in women. Even when you manage to dodge the libraries, the Gynocratic Pussy Force is always around to entrap and serve you. You know what, fuck it!! I too am done with you ladies!!! I too shall become a Man Loudly Going No Place!! Neener neener!!
Christopher in Oregon has such strong feelings about vaginas. He should have been a gynecologist. Then he could have spent all day every day looking at vaginas and declaring them to be gross. Think of the power trip that would have been for him.
Handily, many of Christopher of Oregon’s previous missives on Army-May Ark-May’s blog can be retrieved courtesy of Archive.org’s Wayback Machine.
For instance, I now know that 90% of American women are carrying an STD, but our Christopher is immune from this wave of feminist germ warfare because:
I’m sure the Matriairchy (is the third syllable actually pronounced “air”?) will be suitably cowed, if that’s not too offensively gendered a term.
Hey, good news, everyone. Let the rejoicing begin! Marky Mark says:
I really hope he republishes the Maria posts — the ones about his coworker who he talked to a couple times, who rejected him, who he then started obsessing over and decided that she was a lesbian because she wears hats. Those almost certainly couldn’t lead to any problems for Marky down the road.
Oh and if anyone’s feeling generous with their time this holiday season, maybe you can volunteer for this great cause!
Hi all, recent reader/lurker here.
I love this blog, although I have bruises from the number of times I /facepalm from reading the MRA statements – bit loathe to call them thoughts as that implies some thinking was done ahead of their posting.
I’m not sure if this has been raised in a previous thread I have missed: the MRA statements look like reaction formation on their part.
The restoration of the Sistine Chapel will have nothing on this.