Today, a GUEST POST from Catherine! Thanks, Catherine! And the rest of you, enjoy!
Over on Chateau Heartiste, the (He)artist(e) Formerly Known As Roissy devoted a recent post to the conundrum of handsome men coupled with ugly women. It’s essentially an open thread for the denigration of women who don’t live up to Roissy’s porntastic standards (17 to 20 years old with a BMI of about 18 *and* a D cup, and related WTF?! attributes), as well as ragging on those awful beta manginas who are punching below their weight – or, to quote Heartiste himself, are “polluting the gene pool with pigwoman blood.”
I was participating in a mobile conference which included question and answer periods, and I noticed an odd couple standing to my side. He was youngish and good-looking — most women would agree on his physical attractiveness — and his wife was a snout-nosed, inbred-looking, stringy-haired, big fat pig dressed in sweatshirt and ill-fitting jeans. In other words, the typical American woman. I assumed they were married because I saw their rings and she had her hand on a stroller with an infant tucked away in it.
He’s just getting started.
What abomination is this! I thought. But then the reason became crystal clear after only a few moments watching and listening to them interact.
Speaker: Any questions?
Big Fat Pig: [nudging her hubby with her elbow] Honey, remember…
Handsome Husbandry: [tentatively raising his index and middle finger, and haltingly talking] I have a question… I have a…
So obviously the young good-looking man is totally under the thumb of the big fat evil feminist woman, who has sucked out his brains and reduced him to a quivering lump of hesitation and uncertainty!
As he asked his question, he kept looking over at his wife — in fact, staring at his wife more than the speaker, although he was ostensibly addressing the speaker. One would be forgiven for having the impression that he was seeking constant real-time assurance from his wife that his question was acceptable for public discourse. Nervously shifting from one foot to the other, leaning into his wife, gazing downward when the speaker responded to him, his body language was so beta it was painful to watch. No, it was repulsive to behold, almost as repulsive as the visual effrontery of his wife’s blubbery carcass.
So, sniveling, indecisive beta manginas are repulsive… but not as repulsive as a corpulent woman! Gotcha, Roissy.
After getting in a few more digs at the contemptuous, unsympathetic wife, Roissy sets forth his views on various types of couples. First, the kinds of couples that should be allowed to exist:
Handsome man with beautiful woman
All is right in the world. You infer the man has alpha characteristics to complement his good looks, and he has cashed that in for a hot babe. …
Ugly man with ugly woman
All is right, if depressing, in the world. You infer the ugly man has beta or even omega characteristics, and that an ugly woman was the best he could do. You assume the ugly woman resents him for having to settle, but knows she has no other options. Love between them is less about passion than it is about task delegation and avoidance of suicidal loneliness.
All is well in the world of alpha males with hot babes, but those in ugly people combos need to find some highly diverting hobbies to keep from offing themselves.
Now Roissy turns his attention to two apparent mismatches, and delineates his usual double standards:
Ugly man with beautiful woman
Wow, he is shooting out of his league! But then, thinking on it a bit, you recall that you saw quite a few couples like this mismatched pair during the week. It’s less rare than popularly imagined. You may ask yourself “What does she see in him?”, and from that you infer the ugly man has compensating alpha attributes to snag such a hottie — maybe he’s wealthy, or slick, or funny, or a dominating asshole, or some combination of each. You assume this ugly man has options to be able to choose a beauty for a girlfriend.
Moral: ugly men are permitted to have counter-balancing attributes! Can you guess what is coming next?
Handsome man with ugly woman
Whoa, what is he thinking?! An uncommon sight, (occurrence less frequent than its polar opposite), you presume the handsome man has some debilitating personality flaw — maybe social awkwardness, or shyness, or micropenis — that prevents him from fornicating with his true potential. Unlike the mirror image couple of the ugly man with the beautiful woman, you do not give the ugly woman the benefit of the doubt in assessing why she was able to catch a handsome man. You simply conclude, reasonably, that the handsome man is not the alpha male on the inside that he looks like on the outside, and therefore the ugly woman is not really dating out of her league. There must be something wrong with him, you think.
Women have no value beyond their looks, so the pitiful man dating someone wretchedly below Roissy’s artificial standards must likewise be sub-standard, in some way invisible to us, to have abased himself so humiliatingly.
Having drawn these pictures, Roissy rounds out the post with a sermon on female ugliness, which is to be universally shunned:
There is an instinctive, deeply primitive understanding chugging away behind the prefrontal cortex in every one of us that women sexually respond to a suite of male attractiveness traits, of which looks are only one desirable male quality. It is therefore not inconceivable to most non-brainwashed observers that an ugly man might have other characteristics that appeal to a beautiful woman on his arms, or that a handsome man might be crippled with weakness and self-doubt that constrains his ability to attract no better than a big fat pigwoman.
And we’re back to the disparaging references to pigs. Why, oh why does Roissy hate pork so? (That he detests women is more or less expected.)
In the mismatched couple I witnessed, it was clear that whatever good will or tokens of desire that the handsome man had inspired in his pigwoman were completely squandered by his beta behavior. It was easy to see by her loathsome demeanor that his looks no longer held — if they ever did beyond the first couple of dates — any sway over her feelings for him. But being the big fat pigwoman she is, she knew she could not do better.
And that is why the generational increase in human beauty is a slow, painstaking process, punctuated by tragic reversals to a sloping brow norm (see: Appalachia, Detroit). Handsome betas are polluting the gene pool with pigwoman blood.
What the hell was that? I’ll quote it again: “Handsome betas are polluting the gene pool with pigwoman blood.” Oh, the huge manatee! Shrink in terror from the impending doom to be brought about by porcine-human hybrids!
Naturally such hyperbole is a cue for some predictable misogyny in the comments, such as the following from regular tool Tyrone:
That’s why its good to be older to get a good sense for how a woman will age. There are loads of women who look hot when young but turn into cattle as they age. Mom is usually a good bench mark. If you’d do her Mom, you’re probably safe. Check out how Ginger Lynn looks like nowadays. You’d never recognize her from her porn days.
A view right in line with Roissy’s famed dating value regimen that women lose value once they’re older than, say, 29; and Tyrone follows it up with some white supremacism:
White people won’t survive without more kids. Smart white men need to breed more in our country- with white women.
What, you might ask, about women with great bodies but unappealing faces? One Anonymous coward urges his brethren to go for it :
[O]ne of my biggest regrets was not doing a girl who had the hottest body around but an ugly face. Temporarily of course.
But for fuck’s sake don’t marry them. Right, tenderman100?
Some years ago, before I was married for the first time (twice married, twice divorced) I was banging this babe. Amazing body. Amazing tits. But a kind of a bucktoothed face. When I first met her, I thought, wow what amazing tits…yeah she’s kinda ugly but she’s friendly and I just have to see those tat tas. Well, not only did I see them, we banged for a few months. She was incredible in bed, highly orgasmic, very flexible (did ballet). Haven’t seen her in decades, but if she is a fat cow, I wouldn’t be surprised. Yeah, she was ugly but she pounded like a pro. So it isn’t always what it seems. Then again, I would never have married her.
If not marriage, then what about a long-term relationship? Over again to Tyrone:
A good woman who has reparable shortcomings is still a good option for an LTR. Fugly is a whole different animal.
But if you marry one of them, Tyrone adds, make sure you have a contingency plan!
My wife knows if she ever lets herself go, talks about divorce, whatever that pisses me off enough to leave, I will simply disappear into the night. No arguments or emotions, it will be a complete coup de main. There won’t be anyone around to serve papers to. I’ll be overseas in an undisclosed location screwing LBFMs.
In case you don’t already know, LBFM is short for Little Brown Fucking Machines, a term of art to refer to Asian women (frequently underage) sought out by sex tourists — which should be sufficient to outline Tyrone’s sophisticated moral principles. He continues:
I say this with no emotion or bravado, just let her know its a fact that she must deal with. Marriage is like defense policy, the best defense is a good offense. Strike first, strike to kill. Identify a location and buy yourself some property there, so you have somewhere to go. Move enough money there to live well until you can start a bar or whatever to live. Plan this for a few years in advance if need be. Life is too short to be some stupid broad’s wage slave.
How charming!
Heartiste really has a way of bringing out the best in people!
Happy Boxing Day, Manboobzers!
I’d like to thank David not only for allowing me to briefly usurp his megaphone of mockery for the majority of this post, but also for making some suave edits to my writing, thus honing my crude barbs into sharp, shiny points.
The article over at Château Heartiste is bad enough as it is, but to properly skewer all that’s wrong with the comments would have needed a post five times as long, at least. There’s some seriously ugly views and attitudes in the cesspit of the comments there, so I fully approve quoting and holding them up to extra mockery!
Catherine (the poster also known as Xanthë)
It’s as if it’s an Onion article. Hard to believe they could mean even a tenth of it. But I suppose they do.
These guys are so hilariously pathetic. Overcompensating much, dudes?
Also, here’s the thing about genetics – children inherit traits from both parents. So if our hypothetical beautiful woman was to settle for an ugly beta, she would in fact be polluting the gene pool with his genes of hideousness.
The lesson here, pretty ladies, is don’t fuck men who aren’t gorgeous. It’s your duty to society to shun imperfect men.
I’m reading the comment section so you don’t have to. Best so far:
“And no, I don’t use the politically slanted phrases “gay marriage” or “same sex marriage” any more than I say “transgender” or “heterosexual” or “undocumented” or “differently abled” (or the Marxist invention, “capitalism”). Contained in those contradictions-in-terms are the very assumptions whose passive acceptance makes radicalism seem inert and above argument — Maya’s conundrum. Appending “hetero-” to “sexual” invites the seemingly innocuous equality of the “homo-” version without argument or analysis, putting normal, healthy, and well-adjusted sexuality on par with men sodomizing each other’s GI tracts.”
“If your entire goal is to destroy the partriarchy and reduce white men to servitude, and turn society into a bunch of polyamorous bisexuals then gay marriage seems like a great idea.”
Gay marriage will do all that? Man, I wish.
Doesn’t the existence of unattractive man/beautiful woman couples (see: Dennis and Elizabeth Kucinich) go against everything MRAs believe about women being shallow whores who only fuck the %10 of men ? Am I putting too much thought into this? Probably.
“The wedding is an excuse for a big party, the lavish look-at-me attention-whoring of overgrown (physically and chronologically) princesses, profligate spending, and the chance to publicly pretend a tramp is still innocent (fucked-out guttersluts wearing white)… The marriage itself has nothing to do with children, who come before, during, or after the nuptials without social judgment. It is little more than Official Friends With Official Benefits, which can be voided like a contract with a kick-out because one day she decides, “I love him, but I’m not in love with him anymore,” or other such new age vapidities… Socially acceptable, extramarital sex and drive-thru divorce are at the heart of gay interest in the matrimonial frankenstein. Did you think the promiscuous anonymous fuckall that is the queer underground would be attracted to the dire sexual constrictions of marriage above-ground if restraint were still any part of the institution? No way, sssissster.”
“I KNOW I’ve gotten much more handsome and self-confident over the years.”
…Sure, dude, whatever you say.
“Gentleman, you know you’ve reached a certain level when you look down and catch a glint in their eyes that suggests you are part-rock star, part-father and part-you’ve just given her a G-spot orgasm.”
G-spot orgasms aren’t the be-all and end-all of orgasms; lots of vagina-owners prefer clitoral orgasms, just like some vagina-owners prefer G-spot. For many if not most vagina-owners, G-spot and clitoral orgasms feel similar. It’s natural anatomical differences.
…Father?
“You know, I am sure the HBD [human biodiversity, i.e. racist] crowd has explanation for this, but from what I’ve seen, there are countries in which the population is known for good looking men or women, but not both. So, Vietnam has gorgeous women, plain men, while the UK has better looking men than their women. I hypothesized that england’s beerwench culture and cold weather (spurring the desire for big boobies over pretty faces, causing british women have huge knockers) lead to this outcome. Cultural difference or something else? Anyway…either sex should demand more from their mates to avoid the Appalachia/Detroit genetic meltdown.”
Uh… Nigella Lawson? Karen Gillian? YOU PEOPLE HAVE NO TASTE IN WOMEN.
…Father?!
“Under the patriarchy these people would be able to find mates that are roughly in their sphere of looks rather than descending to warpig level. But with women free to pursue hypergamy, and crowd around the 9s and 10s, the 1-3s are free to pursue hypergamy as well, just with the 6-8s.”
He has numbers so you know it’s true!
…FATHER?!
““I KNOW I’ve gotten much more handsome and self-confident over the years.”
LOL! Confident, maybe. Handsome? Nope. Not unless he had cosmetic surgery during the intervening years.
Also, she’s looking up at you while you’re fucking her and thinking “father”? So the look you’re describing is “horrified”, then?
“Lefty men are overwhelmingly balless, sackless losers like this one. I’ll bet he married her because they both worked on a Demo-rat campaign together and he thought that “intellectually and politcally” they were compatible. And she cheats on him.”
Just so you know, liberals of the world, this is how all your relationships work. Also, Demo-rat, so clever.
“I know at least one guy who is handsome, and has some seemingly “paper alpha” qualities, but when it comes to women is very beta. He is one of the most feminist, white knighting guys I know. He has been been stuck in the friend-zone many times. He has had as far as I know 3 LTRs in his life and little fooling around outside of them. However, all three were very attractive. The girl he is with right now is an 8.5 to 9. And these are _quality_ women.”
BING BING BING YOUR MODEL OF THE UNIVERSE IS FALSIFIED
“My theory is that if a man is handsome enough, some women tend to assume that his lack of approaching them is not due to fear and beta-ness but to him actually being too good for them, so his behavior ends up accidentally working as a kind of game.”
…Or not.
Must be nice to have a theory that explains everything.
“girl who looked like she’d lost a fight with a cheese grater.”
I have no idea what this even means.
Yeah, Ozy, the ranting about gay marriage employs the usual kind of obtuse argument made by supposedly family-focussed or religious defenders of traditional marriage: if children are a requirement of marriage then infertile heterosexual couples shouldn’t be allowed to marry; women past menopause shouldn’t be allowed to marry; and let’s not consider alternatives to assist bringing children into such marriages, such as adoption, surrogacy or sperm donors, in vitro fertilisation etc.
More craziness.
Daddy?
(Yes, that bit of the comment disturbed me too. Brain bleach please? o_O)
“Don’t care if the uggo gives amazing head, doesn’t need to be wined & dined, is submissive to him, makes home cooked meals, takes it in the pooper…”
I would just like to preserve for posterity this list of “perfect girlfriend” traits. Also, fuck, I’m a perfect Roissy girlfriend. Heeeeeeeelp!
“Perhaps you are talking about Hugh Jackman and his pig fat wife!”
I absolutely love the level of shaming of men who aren’t dating women the other dudes find attractive. I mean, why do you CARE? Hugh Jackman is attractive to millions of women and he happens to want to fuck an overweight woman. So what?
“You get broken free of that part of the femiMatrix which gives females the illusion that they hold the power.”
There is no poon, Neo.
“Women will always be more devious and treacherous than we are.”
Women are Slytherins?
One dude opines that a woman with borderline or hysteric personality disorder, even if she’s an 8/9, is not good to date. Response: “What some guys consider crazy is relationship-type shit testing.” Yes. Diagnosable mental illnesses can be cured with MOAR ALPHA.
“I have little doubt that the good looking guy, Beta as he might be, was the victim of birth fraud. It is very possible the guy was whale-hunting or slump-busting at the time he impregnated the pig and “did the right thing” by marrying her. Betas think they’re Alpha when they do the right thing in girl-world.”
Whale-hunting? o.O Also, yes, you need to support your damn kids.
“I think a low level sense of dread keeps Women at their happiest. I know it makes no sense to us guys. But maybe it is because it makes them feel that they have reached the peak of the level of alpha they can obtain.”
It doesn’t make sense because IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. Women, in general, don’t like dread! We like, well, lots of different things, but “I want a guy who’s hot, sweet, funny, and makes me feel dread” is a very rare request.
“for anything more serious than a pump and dump, looks are not the sole determinant of a woman’s worth. her femininity, personality, and affability are also important. for marriage, her ability to be a good wife and mother become additional priorities.”
I’m not sure whether I’m more distressed about the traits they choose to care about, or happy that at least they care about more than how much you look like a Photoshopped porn star.
I loved the digression about Brits and boobs, btw.
British women – we’re in your weird little made-up mating system, messing things up with our huge boobs.
Somehow this doesn’t sound so convincing after mention of Tyrone’s retirement plan.
Whoa, blow jobs! It’s like a magic talisman in the thread, galvanising some posters, first STX:
Tyrone:
and STX again:
Behold the power of the mighty BJ!
Hugh Jackman’s wife is “pig-fat”? o.0
On what planet is this woman ugly or fat?
That would be Planet Delusional Asshole.
“Be careful imputing too much credibility to women when they say they “hate” a certain kind of guy. I’ve heard plenty of women over the years say they hate players, or even a specific man who is locally known as a player, who then go on to get that doggy dinner bowl look when that kind of man is in their company.”
“The only reason for the acceptability of the ugly-man/beautiful-woman paradigm is very simple. There is no such thing as an ugly wallet.”
“It’s like an old pair of jeans. Maybe a little worn out. But very comfortable. Good hearted, loyal, stable, and a good Mom to my kids buys my devotion.”
Aww, that’s kind of sweet.
“She also knows at the end of the day I have younger, hotter, tighter options.”
GODDAMMIT.
Every time I think to myself “gee I should get out and date” I read his blog. Then I think “Nope. Nope I think I’ll just stay right here and watch a movie or something”
That blog is the number one romance/sex/dating killer out there.
You have to admit that the name is hilarious. What does the stuff he rambles about have to do with the “heart”, other than that you generally needs yours to still be beating in order to fuck?
Penis size is a personality trait now?
Also random – if you like metal I just stumbled upon the best possible soundtrack to reading this stuff. Chthonic – Taiwanese death metal band with a female bass player. It just so happens that the woman in question is a friend of a friend (and gorgeous), and I know for a fact that if anyone tried that “little brown fucking machines” shit on her she’d punch them in the face.
I find that thought both amusing and oddly soothing.