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Merry War on Christmas, Sisters-in-arms!

Females hate Santa

“Feminists Take Up Arms in War on Christmas.” That’s the headline over on The Spearhead, where W.F. Price tries to spread some good old-fashioned anti-feminist cheer with a post dredging up the old Fox News crapola about a “War on Christmas,” with feminists in the role of villain this time.

His proof of this feminist perfidy? This video on the “Top 5 Creepy and Sexist Christmas Songs.” In it, Anita Sarkeesian of Feminist Frequency takes a critical look at some Christmastime “classics,” including the really quite odious “Baby it’s Cold Outside,” which depicts a man pressuring a woman into staying with him for the night, aggressively shutting down every one of her many objections. The message? Fifty nos and one yes means a yes. It might as well have been written by Reddit’s date-rapey “seduction” experts.

Naturally, the Spearhead regulars offer deeply insightful critiques of all of her main points. DT wades in with a witticism worthy of Wilde:

The reason she hates “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is because no man would ever even dream of trying to stay at her house.

Baby, it’s cold inside, and you’re stuck there alone.

Boxer offers a somewhat broader critique:

Feminists are so far out these days that they resemble bag ladies rather than genuine social critics. Their endless shit opinions take on a comic quality.

Life is wonderful, and life is extra nice without a cunt woman whining in one’s general vicinity. Happy snatch-free holidays, brothers! 🙂

Further proof.

The ever-so-slightly-addled Geography Bee Finalist himself sets forth a theory to explain why feminists might be critical of traditional holidays:

If feminists hate men, and since no holiday comes to mind that can be extricated completely from men, as even the turkey baster needs semen (and men probably invented the centrifuge that sorts X sperm cells and Y sperm cells) so the dyke couple can conceive a kid out of wedlock but in principle cannot celebrate Mother’s Day as fetuses need semen to exist, but Jehovah’s Witnesses expect the FATHER to almost always be the head of the Jehovah’s Witness nuclear family, I wonder what the feminist is left to do.

Oh, that’s right. She is left to not celebrate a single holiday of any religion or country, nor be a Jehovah’s Witness if she wants to have any principle left when it comes to holidays, but then again “feminist principle” is another oxymoron.

Well, all that probably seemed to make more sense echoing inside his empty skull than it does actually written down.

All Keyster’s comment needs is an instant rimshot or two:

You’d think they’d be pleased that a third of the planet celebrates a holiday about a virgin who was able to conceive…without a man!

Or do they believe God raped her?

Eric preaches to the choir:

Feminism envisions either a world without men; or at least one where men are kept in a state of subservient subhumanism. Christmas has to go, along with all other religious holidays and traditional religions. All traditional religions and their associated holidays stress the importance of monogamous marriage and family; and feminists exalt feminine independence, abortion, and misandry.

But it’s Andybob who wins the thread with this unique close reading of the video:

Notice that she says, “downright creepy” at exactly the same moment that an image of a pair of jingle balls appears threateningly above her head. It this a feminist’s sledge-hammer subtle attempt to subliminally associate testicles with creepiness? Lesbians never stop trying to recruit.  

Andy, I’m sure that you, in your own small way, have helped to make this ongoing lesbian recruitment drive a little bit more successful.

 

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Steph
8 years ago

How apropos; I was just at the mall yesterday and my friend was telling me about “Baby It’s Cold Outside”. Apparently it includes the line “What’s in this drink?”. FESTIVE.

So what’s with the Jehovah’s Witnesses bit? Is he saying they’re the only ones exempt from the legal requirement to celebrate holidays? Dude, you know people can just not do it, right? Alternately, you can celebrate them in your own way; it’s not like a holiday referee is going to come to your house. The most sexist thing about our Christmas is the Brian Griffin ornament on the tree.

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
8 years ago

­­­­>>>Or do they believe God raped her?

I happen to think that’s a reasonable description of what happens when a being that is basically infinitely superior to you in power decides to be born through you. The irony is that the MRA thinks that’s a far out interpretation.

Magnolia
8 years ago

well hell I didn’t know I was supposed to hate Christmas…I mean sure I’m not a fan of ‘baby it’s cold outside’ because of the rapey over tones but whatever..

Where is it that feminists hate Christmas?

Damsel in de tech
8 years ago

I’m a feminist and I hate Christmas with a fiery passion.

I’d elaborate, but I’m off to the mall with my partner to finish our Christmas shopping.

thefemalespectator
8 years ago

Even though she sometimes goes further than I would interpretively, I love Anita Sarkeesian and completely agree with her about these popular holiday songs. Ugh. When are we going to accept, as a culture, that these kinds of things are not OK?!? And the fact that the Spearhead doesn’t get what she’s saying..doesn’t surprise me at all, but makes me very sad. Because if you could watch her video and not agree with her argument…uh, rapey…

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
8 years ago

Meh, “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is terribly sexist. And the Ray Charles Betty Carter version is pretty fantastic. Great, jazzy arrangement and their voices are both sexy and witty.

http://vodpod.com/watch/5292928-ray-charles-betty-carter-baby-its-cold-outside-video

As far as “problematic” Christmas songs go, “Santa Baby” is just as egregious. And still an awful lot of fun.

It’s possible to recognize sexism and still love the holidays. There’s nothing remotely contradictory about believing that women are people and appreciating and participating in the warmth and togetherness of the holiday season.

Merry War on Christmas!

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
8 years ago

Boo, the other video didn’t load in properly.

Ray Charles and Betty Carter:

Blue Jean
Blue Jean
8 years ago

Hate to be the off-key singer in the caroling group, but yeah, women could reproduce without men a lot easier than men could reproduce without women. It would be expensive and difficult, and few if any would want to, but it could be done. Maybe instead of coal in the MRA’s stockings, I’ll slip a copy of James Tiptree’s Houston, Houston, Do You Read?.

Blue Jean
Blue Jean
8 years ago

Yeah, the only version of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” I like is the one between Miss Piggy and Rudolph Nureyev, probably because the humor and the reversed gender dynamic (not to mention the reversed species dynamic).

Of course, the original notes for the song designated the man’s part as the “wolf” and the woman’s part as the “mouse”, so interspecies duets are part of the tradition. 😉

klopbop
klopbop
8 years ago

Honestly, while I don’t really agree with the degree to which the video condemns the songs, I can see where she’s coming from. What I wish she would have noted was that these songs are part of a larger tapestry, and they alone do not reinforce the messages she sees in them. She’s clearly made a lot of videos, so she’s probably covered it before, but it would have been nice to have in this one.

But as Nobinayamu pointed out, just because there are problems with things doesn’t mean they are devoid of entertainment or value. Just that we should sort of be aware of the messages we’re sending/receiving through them, and be able to be media-savvy about the things we like. It’s okay to criticize things you really, really like, and to acknowledge value in things that you don’t care for.

Amnesia
Amnesia
8 years ago

@Blue Jean
That Miss Piggy/Rudolph Nureyev duet is a thing of brilliance. I’m saving it for the next time some dudes complain about how they’d love to get the ‘harassment’ that women get, so I can just link to it and go, “So, you really want to be Rudolph in this situation?”

Lady Zombie
Lady Zombie
8 years ago

…but Jehovah’s Witnesses expect the FATHER to almost always be the head of the Jehovah’s Witness nuclear family, I wonder what the feminist is left to do.

Oh, that’s right. She is left to not celebrate a single holiday of any religion or country, nor be a Jehovah’s Witness if she wants to have any principle left when it comes to holidays, but then again “feminist principle” is another oxymoron.

Okay as someone who was born in and raised in that horrid fucking cult, I can assure Mr. Manny Man there that –

1) in JW land, yes, the man is always the head of the house, and yes, the father’s word is final. Of course he is supposed to seek the counsel of his wife, but he isn’t required to.

2) JWs don’t celebrate any holidays. Period. Full stop. What the fuck is he on about?

3) Feminism does not exist for JW women. JW women will never identify as a feminist. They accept the bullshit doctrine that they’re the “weaker sex” and that god made them to be submissive.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that the Jehovah’s Witness cult would be perfect for the religious portion of these douchecanoes. Their authority within the home is not to be questioned, if the man beats his wife, he is maybe only “counseled” lightly by the elders and advised to respect that his wife is weaker than he. The wife however is told to try “being more submissive” because it’s obviously her fault that he hit her.

The Jehovah’s Witnesses also have a deplorable sex abuse doctrine. Let’s say a child accuses a JW of sexually abusing him or her, the elders of the congregation discourage them going to the police, preferring to keep it an internal matter. Also, they actually fucking ask the child if he or she has “two witnesses” to the abuse. If not, they say “well, it’s just your word against theirs.” They use Deuteronomy 19:15 as justification.

So rampant sexism, misogyny, keeping women in their place, and a sexual abuse paradise. I’m shocked that more MRAs aren’t knocking on doors with a Watchtower magazine in hand.

Sorry everyone. The JW cult is SO fucking triggering to me. I had to vent.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

I’ve been calling “Baby It’s Cold OUtside” the date-rape song for years.

I missed the memo that as a feminist I was declaring war on Christmas. I guess I’ll carry on with my diabolical plan of Chinese food and drunkenness at The Jackalope.

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
8 years ago

“Feminists are so far out these days that they resemble bag ladies rather than genuine social critics. Their endless shit opinions take on a comic quality.

Life is wonderful, and life is extra nice without a cunt woman whining in one’s general vicinity. Happy snatch-free holidays, brothers!”

It’s interesting to me (and disturbing) in many contexts the word ‘feminist’s is used as shorthand for ‘women’ despite the MRM’s protests that they are not misogynists but merely anti-feminist.

Holly Pervocracy
8 years ago

I’d like to nominate for runner-up Reprehensible Christmas Song:

It’s well-intentioned, but…

1)There are 380 million Christians in Africa, and I think most of them do in fact know it’s Christmas. And I don’t think the other people care.

2) Is singing about how “Africa is such a terrible place, there’s nothing but death and misery there” really helpful?

3) “Well, tonight thank God it’s them instead of you!”

Blue Jean
Blue Jean
8 years ago

@Amnesia,

Thanks! Glad you liked it! Yes, please show it to your “I wish I could be harassed like women are” friends; after all, women can be pigs too. 😉

Rudi himself said that Miss Piggy was one of his favorite partners; he claimed it was the only time he was onstage with a ham as big as he was. 🙂

Leely
Leely
8 years ago

The first version of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” I ever heard was Liza Minnelli/Alan Cumming – very campy, clearly in jest, and they actually alternate the parts during the song.

The more traditional versions? Yeah, date rape, no question.

(And I second Holly with that Band Aid song. Could people not raise money in the 80s without condescending power ballads?)

Alphalady
Alphalady
8 years ago

Wimminz ruin Christmas by taking exception to a song with rapey undertones? How dare they?! I’ll bet the MRAs love “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.” That’s one less old broad who no longer possesses “sexual market value” cluttering up the world!

Shadow
Shadow
8 years ago

@Holly:

I want to second, third and nth your point, As someone who grew up in Africa, I am constantly inundated with questions about what it was like growing up out there. People are always so disgustingly shocked when I tell them that I loved it PSA announcement: Africa does not equal 30 million sq kms of poverty, whilst there are a majority of impoverished regions, there are also regions of prosperity. And the poverty Africans experience is not the recession of the West, it’s a systemic poverty. And like people who have experienced systemic poverty the world over, they have found ways to find joy in the lives that they have even as they struggle to survive and improve their lives.

Zarathustra
8 years ago

I agree that Baby It’s Cold Outside is a dodgy song, but if we’re going to compare different versions, then this one is by far the best.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PceqPkTdYgA&w=420&h=315%5D

Also good for the way the video subverts the lyrics at the end (I won’t give spoilers here, just watch and enjoy the video).

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
8 years ago

“I’ll bet the MRAs love “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.” That’s one less old broad who no longer possesses “sexual market value” cluttering up the world”

I picture MRAs listening to a lot of nu-metal. It’s the perfect genre for dark, brooding, bitter loners with grudges against women.

Bee
Bee
8 years ago

Wait. Worst Xmas song ever.

ithiliana
8 years ago

Images of a GLobal Christmas

Link leads to Sociological IMages who cite the Boston GLobe, but their link didn’t work.

See how Christmas is celebrated all over the world.

Amazing how well it’s doing considering the ways feministz have been trying to kill it off for centuries.

Could it be that feminists are not in fact sooper sekritly in control?

Dang.

http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2011/12/23/global-christmas/

Srs, the images are beautiful.

Alphalady
Alphalady
8 years ago

I picture MRAs listening to a lot of nu-metal. It’s the perfect genre for dark, brooding, bitter loners with grudges against women.

That genre is way too “hip” for these guys. I think they’re more of a “Flight of the Valkyrie” crowd.

rabbitwink
rabbitwink
8 years ago

For a bad, albeit not sexist, Xmas song, I nominate the Dogs Barking Jingle Bells.

firebee
8 years ago

You know, I actually was kind of creeped out as a kid that God apparently just went and had sex with Mary apparently without asking her or anything. But arguably I was a rather odd kid.

Noadi
8 years ago

Okay, embedding that way didn’t work, anyway click link will take you to a symphony playing along live to What’s Opera Doc.

zhinxy
8 years ago

You know, I actually was kind of creeped out as a kid that God apparently just went and had sex with Mary apparently without asking her or anything. But arguably I was a rather odd kid

“Behold the handmaiden of the lord, be it done unto me according to thy word…” She did consent!

zhinxy
8 years ago

Holy Spirit. Totally lacks GAME. She’s lucky he out-alphaed Joseph, or there would have been no saviour.

zhinxy
8 years ago

I mean, sure, big power differential, god being god and all, but she WAS pretty enthusiastic about the whole bearing the messiah thing.

Sure, god never, say, wrote a big thing about how god did that once and could totally impregnate a virgin again, but chooses not too, even though virgins are so hot for him, because god knows how much power he has, and how sexy they find that, but god is totally different now, but God’s no Hugo Schwyzer…

Spearhafoc
8 years ago

Not that I agree with it necessarily, but, for what it’s worth, there are feminist defenders of Baby, It’s Cold Outside.

The song still feels creepy to me, of course, but I enjoy the music.

bobbyjo (@bobbyjo1950)

Feminists don’t hate men. Maybe some radical ones but most feminists got no problem with men. Christ, them MRA dudes sure like to spew lies upon lies upon lies. I’ve been here in the place just about a week and already I can see the women folks are just normal as they come. Ain’t no hating going on by feminists posting here, including the feminists I know in person. Proof positive MRA’s dudes lie.

bobbyjo (@bobbyjo1950)

Well alright isn’t it funny to be made fun of for having a problem with a song by dudes who got problems with a million and one things themselves. Big deal brothers. Who gives a shyt if a couple women get turned off by some dumb song.

Sure would love to see the sample study for where they draw their conclusions from. Wait, MRA don’t base anything on facts. They make shyt up.

marc2020
marc2020
8 years ago

For more disturbing Christmas songs I suggest checking out The Nostalgia Chicks Top 10 Disturbing and Inescapable Christmas Songs.

http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/team-nchick/nostalgia-chick/3250-top-10-disturbing-and-inescapable-christmas-songs

Shadow
Shadow
8 years ago

@Spearhafoc

That’s always been my reading of it too. I think because I’m South Asian, I tend to read it like this because this is still a large part of my culture. I mean, I know that in North American society there’s still a lot of slut shaming, but there’s also a common expectation, and acceptance, now that sex is going to happen within a couple of dates, and as far as I’ve seen there’s no real shaming of women who have sex in committed relationships. But for us there’s still the need for many people to go through the song and dance for the first couple of times, even in a committed relationship.

Shadow
Shadow
8 years ago

to clarify, I meant the article you linked

Hershele Ostropoler
8 years ago

“Let it Snow” is BICO without the rape. Like it’s pretty much the same song, only in BICO “the wolf” rapes “the mouse” and in “Let it Snow” everyone is willing.

chocomintlipwax
8 years ago

At work we’ve had about 12 Christmas songs (several versions of some of these songs–4 or 5 of “Sleigh Ride” and about that many of “Winter Wonderland”) on a constant loop. One of them (only one version) is “Let it Snow,” and every time that one comes on, I think, “This song is about sex, isn’t it?”

I mean, it is, right? It just sounds so much like innuendo, like all that “goodbyeing” they’re doing. And then I went a step further and assumed “popcorn” means “condoms.” But … that may be going too far.

And the cutesy, breathless singer of “Santa Baby” (in our version) makes everything sound like a sexual innuendo. “Decorate my Christmas tree …”

Uh huh. Suuuure. *winkwink*

This may be a problem of being trapped in a room for 6 hours and having to listen to these songs over and over and over and over and over … at least they aren’t playing “Last Christmas” or that Mariah Carey song. (My last job pretty much just played those two.)

Quackers
Quackers
8 years ago

How do these idiots go from criticizing some Christmas lyrics to RAWRBLRAGH FEMINISTS HATE CHRISTMAS!!!11

What is wrong with their brains? I read this yesterday and laughed my ass off. Definitely one of the dumber things I’ve read from an MRA site.

I for one love Christmas. Love decorating, love wrapping gifts, love silly Christmas specials, love the general good feeling-ness. I even baked something this year. GASP! a feminist baking?! who’d of thought? then again they were gingerbread men, does that make me a misandrist?

KristinMH
8 years ago

Zhinxy – I believe that in Mormon theology, God *literally* has sex with Mary and impregnates her. I don’t know if they also revere her as a virgin.

I always thought the Catholic emphasis on the Virgin Mary was the ultimate “Fuck you” to women. You’re a virgin? Well, you’re not a mother, so you suck! You are a mother? Well, you’re not a virgin, you reprehensible whore!

Forget women who are sexually active outside of marriage, use birth control, or are childfree; forget trans women; forget genderqueer people; even if you follow the rules you can’t win!

Also the Miss Piggy clip is hilarious.

zhinxy
8 years ago

KristinMH

Zhinxy – I believe that in Mormon theology, God *literally* has sex with Mary and impregnates her. I don’t know if they also revere her as a virgin. –

Actually, yes, I believe that is true.

zhinxy
8 years ago

I’ve got a working knowledge of mormonism, but not medieval so not really my area of expertise XD

zhinxy
8 years ago

IF A BUNCH OF MORMONS GET IN A TARDIS RIGHT NOW AND TRAVEL BACK IN TIME TO THE ELEVENTH CENTURY, I WILL SUDDENLY KNOW MORE ABOUT THEM, AND MY BRAIN WILL REWRITE ITSELF IN REAL TIME AND THAT WOULD BE SO AWESOME, SO COME ON MORMONS!!!

Magpie
8 years ago

zhinxy – oh no! you’re in the wrong time line! in my timeline they did! =P

zhinxy
8 years ago

Damn, which one of us is in the stable timeline? 0_0 EEEK!

Magpie
8 years ago

Dunno – is Rory dead yet?

zhinxy
8 years ago

Uh… Well, hold on.. YES!…err no again. Dang.

Alphalady
Alphalady
8 years ago

Welcome, Bobbyjo. That’s right, they make shyt up. I happen to like men very much. Just not misogynists (or anyone who arbitrarily hates and demonizes any segment of society just to satisfy their own personal agendas, which is what the MRAs are really all about…just a scared bunch of little boy men who are threatened by wimminz.)

Magpie
8 years ago

Only about 56 hours til the Dr Who Christmas special – and that’s what counts. Doesn’t matter which leg of the Trousers of Time we’re in!