Christmas came early for the MRAs this year. Earlier this week, a generous soul calling himself AgentOrange posted a 165 MB present online for them, an assortment of super-secret internet postings from a private forum connected to the RadFem Hub, which Mr. Orange collected by bravely going behind enemy lines and, er, screencapping a bunch of shit. As the OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE declared:
[B]oth feminists and MRAs alike, have been anxiously awaiting the promised complete files of screen shots and associated materials collected by Agent Orange.
These files are apparently so vile and incendiary that Mr. Orange has deemed it necessary to reveal the personal information of some of the RadFemHub commenters. Not to encourage anyone to stalk or harass or harm them, just so that those offended by them can do whatever it is people do when personal info is leaked on the internet that doesn’t involve stalking or harassing or harming them. Send them postcards?
But in any case there is no reason whatsoever to think that a group of really really really angry people who love making threats on the internet and think their opponents are as bad as Hitler could ever do anything that would be in any way problematic.
So, you might ask, what dastardly secrets do these new files disclose? Oddly, the PRESS RELEASE doesn’t actually specify. The AgentOrange website doesn’t say either. And the 165 MB download is just a bunch of files with no explanation.
But I have spent some time going through these files myself in a completely random manner, which is evidently what AgentOrange expects everyone who downloads the files to do. To be perfectly honest, I haven’t spent that much time on this. I’ve really been quite busy with other things. But I have spent some time. More than twenty minutes, anyway.
So let me share with you some preliminary findings.
Here, straight from the AgentOrange files, are some RadFems discussing a news story about a male midwife who thinks that mothers should embrace the pain of childbirth as a “rite of passage.” (Click on the teensy image on the right to get it full-sized.)
Apparently some of those RadFems don’t think this is a good idea! One of them says:
Does he even know what uterine cramps/contractions even feel like?
Another adds:
I read that and rolled my eyes. … If only it were possible to subject mister midwife (my ass) to the joyous pain of childbirth. I guess a swift kick to the balls is as close as he’s ever going to come to it.
Clearly suggesting that a male midwife suffer pain similar to what he suggests women should suffer is nothing short of GENOCIDE!
But wait, there’s more! Another woman writes:
There is no reason why women should have to endure pain like this in this day and age.
That sounds exactly like something HITLER would have said! (If you replace “women” with “Jews” and “no reason” with “every reason.”)
Still another adds:
This is phenomenally stupid, and completely out of step with current pain management theory and procedures.
Is there no end to this feminazi depravity!?
Oh, but there’s more, much more. In this thread — click the image to the right — the evil RadFems complain about guys trying to pick them up in a creepy manner. One of the ladies suggests that a good way to get the guys to leave you alone is to tell them you’re a widow.
You see now that feminism is all about DECEPTION!
Maybe it should be called Deceptionism!
Ok, ok, just one more. In a thread called “I’m mad as hell” — right over there on the right again — one commenter complains about getting a computer virus.
She’s so mad she says she’s even considering downloading Ubuntu and forgoing all Microsoft products, which are frequently targets of viruses! What? Huh? DOES NOT COMPUTE. BZZZZZZZ. LADY USING LINUX ERROR ERROR. *$^*$()*%(*$$$$$$$$. EMERGENCY SHUTDOWN.
CARRIER.
REBOOTING.
FLUSHING CACHE.
Ok. I’m back. Another commenter there says something about castrating guys who write viruses.
That does seem a little excessive. Though I don’t think she means it literally.
I will return to this topic later, after I recover.
In the meantime, if you want to see the most ridiculous comments on the matter from Reddit’s Men’s Rightsers, you can find some of them collected together here. Among the highlights:
This isn’t public shaming, its outing criminals that are planning your genocide.
A story of a plan of naziesque proportions is about to broken.
I think we can all agree that feminism inevitably heads down the road of male genocide.
MRAs, more melodramatic than emo kids.
Oh, and by the way, two of the Reddit quotes above come from a fellow known on Reddit as Sigi1, but who may be more familiar to Man Boobzers as Eoghan. Without clicking on the links, can you guess which two?
This post contains:
Unless NWO is asking us to only use knowledge that we have personally discovered.
Um.
Doggies don’t like it when you put your finger up their nose.
I will sort of half-heartedly endorse Lovecraftianism only if it allows me to display these everywhere as symbols of my religion.
http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=cthulhu+plush&hl=en&prmd=imvns&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.,cf.osb&biw=1440&bih=693&wrapid=tlif132460693186310&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=7902361389005070455&sa=X&ei=5OXzTrjeNqKYiAKnuvmIDQ&ved=0CIABEPMCMAQ#
@ozymandias42
Isn’t the wife also supposed to treat the husband as her authority. You don’t get treated as the chuch if you don’t revere the head of the household.
Are you too good to wash a mans feet?
I believe, do you?
Unless NWO is asking us to only use knowledge that we have personally discovered.
Um.
Doggies don’t like it when you put your finger up their nose.
…
the ahh bra is actually pretty comfortable for a large bust if you aren’t planning to do much hopping around that day.
having babies hurts.
Pound cake is good.
pillows make your head feel comfier.
Ozy is summoning old ones right now and we’re all doomed.
NWO, OZY IS AN ATHEIST.
Basically, you have to view Biblical passages, particularly in the Letters, as an artifact of their times. For instance, the slavery regulations are not an endorsement of slavery; they’re an acknowledgement that slavery existed and an attempt to regulate it to cause the least harm possible.
Similarly, in Ephesians, Paul presents a radical view of submission. Husbands lead, yes, because in the context of the time “everyone’s equal” would not have gone over well; however, they have to lead like Christ led– through patience, wisdom, sacrifice, and service. Today, because we’ve recognized the genders are equal, we have to recognize that EVERYONE has to be like Christ in their relationships and practice patience, wisdom, sacrifice, and service.
Also, my favorite feminist passage in the Bible ever, Galatians 3:28: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.”
Tom Smith- Cthulhu Lite FM
It’s a beautiful night, but the stars in the skies
Aren’t nearly as bright as the light in my eyes,
I didn’t take my Prozac again,
‘Cause without it I see things beyond mortal ken.
Join with me in devout prayer, at midnight so deep,
‘Cause once you know what’s Out There, then you’ll never sleep.
A million years ago, he first came,
He’s changing my world, let me tell you his name —
Dread Cthulhu, Elder God from the stars,
If you see him and live, you’ll hang out more in bars,
The nastiest ocean god left,
Like a mountain of sushi, pissed off at the chef.
His geometry has corners with curves,
And the roles that we’re born for are slaves and hors-d’ouvres,
Those Caribbean cruise plans you’ve made,
Have got you putting yourself in a sea salt marinade.
All the tales of the power of the God of the Jews
Never mention a tower of tentacled ooze.
Confucianism, Buddhists, and Tao
Don’t prepare you for things that suck the skin off a cow.
Still, he’s one cautious god, and he’s taking his time,
But after O.J., Newt, Rodman, and Prince, what’s more slime?
He’s got his flipper stuck in the door,
‘Cause you see grosser stuff on Nintendo 64.
Dread Cthulhu knew we fight if we’re scared,
So he made us so jaded that nobody cared.
With clinic bombings, kids shot at school,
And the W.B. Network — hey, the Great Old One’s cool.
Dread Cthulhu knew the stars would be right
To come back to the earth, so he’s come back tonight.
All your hope I don’t want to crush,
But to him, we’re dead goldfish, and now it’s time to flush.
The F.B.I. waited for him to come,
And now Scully’s his priestess, and Mulder’s her drum.
A nuke only made him annoyed,
So he banished our government to some nether void.
The Chinese Army was one billion men,
But just one hour later, he was hungry again;
The Russians fell to madness and ooze,
Although ironically Yeltsin went sane, and then swore off booze.
Now, the secrets that killed men who lowered their guards
Are collected by children on cool trading cards.
Cthulhu Crunch, part of this nutritious horror;
Visit Cthulhu-dot-com, but — trust us — use Explorer.
His love slaves are swarthy, and vile as can be:
Tammie Faye, Jen McCarthy, and Pamela Lee.
He rules the whole world from within,
But he’s about to go public — that’s where I come in.
Dread Cthulhu came to visit my dreams,
‘Cause he knew I could keep singing over the screams,
Fingers snapping, pseudopods flaying,
He’ll let me live as long as I keep on playing.
Dread Cthulhu, rising out of the sea,
To devour the planet with biscuits and tea,
Now we’re at the end of the show,
With six billion Human McNuggets, ordered to-go.
(“I’d like to super-size that, please….”)
NO, I CAN’T FIND A YOUTUBE VIDEO. DAMMIT!
ah, BUT HERE IS THE MP3 ON TOM’S BLOG FOR THE STREAMING!
http://tomsmith.bandcamp.com/track/cthulhu-lite-fm
More personally discovered knowledge:
-If you heat a rock up with a magnifying lens in the sun “trying to make lava,” but it doesn’t look like it’s changed any so you touch it “to check if it’s getting warm,” you will get second degree burns.
-Onion salt tastes good, and cherry pie tastes good, but onion salt in cherry pie is not as good.
-Before you use your thumb to flick the safety cover off your razorblade, make sure the safety cover hasn’t already been removed.
-If someone comes to the ER and the first words out of their mouth are “I’m not drunk, but,” they are drunk.
And here I thought all you gals were rocket scientists, microbiologists, engineers of every kind, philosophers, historians, math experts. Just all of it rolled into each and every one of you. I’m so disillusioned. So in other words, there’s is no reason what-so-ever to take anything any of you say at face value. A womans word carries no inherent value. Who’da thunk it?
Okay, now what are you talking about?
HOW IS LAW MADE? WHAT IS LAW?
The cultist of the Old Ones can quote Scripture to zir purpose.
No, NWO, you DON’T GET IT. Christ washed the feet of the church. The husband washes the feet of the wife (well, metaphorically, anyway). Leadership is expressed through service.
Hey, everyone? Did you know that a good Biblical wife works outside the home? Let us consult Proverbs 31:
“She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar… She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff… She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.”
..
Hey there Chthulhu down there in your sunken city
You’re a billion light-years distant and the stars look very pretty
From R’lyeh
So close and yet so far away. Ia Iay.
Chthulhu fuh-TAH-gun, or is that Chthulhu fuh-TINE?
I can never quite remember ’cause I’m not in my right minds
Since I met you
No one corrupts the way you do. You know it’s true
(Chorus)
Oh, it’s what you’ll do to me
Oh, and all humanity
Oh, you’ll rise up from the sea
Oh, kill everyone slowly
Except the one’s like me
Hey there Chthulhu, I’ve been studying your gospel
The Necronomicon, it gives me nightmares something awful
Where I see
The death of all reality. It fills me with glee
So when the stars are right, you’ll come and do your worst
But that’s okay because I know you’ll eat the cultists like me first
When you get here
I know that day is drawing near. I have no fear
(Chorus)
A billion light-years seems so far
Below the sea, beyond the stars
Of these humans’ putrid souls you’ll drink your fill
The fools will all make fun of me
But I’ll just laugh maniacally
‘Cause no one’s ever suffered like they will
Chthulhu, I can promise you
That by the time this cult gets through
The world will never ever be the same!
Praise your dark name!
Phn’glui mglw’nafh Chthulhu R’lyeh wagn’nagl fhtagn
Boy, that’s really quite a mouthful, can’t quite cram it in my noggin
Not today
I try to say it anyway
I feel my soul being to fray
Still I await that frabjous day
Chthulhu calay!
(Chorus)
Oh, kill everyone but me
Everyone but me
Is that the reason I’m pretending I don’t want more government? What is the reason for that, by the way?
@ozymandias42
The genders aren’t equal. Equality before the law and equality of ability are seperate.
I have no idea what that random MRA period is doing there.
Also, Ozy’s god hath made themselves known!!
PRAISE OZY PRAISE ZIR WE MAY BE SPARED!
Here NWO: Since you seem to like Chick tracts, this should explain everything:
http://www.fredvanlente.com/cthulhutract/pages/
NWO, you’re aware that scientists look things up more than anyone?
A degree in science no longer consists of “how much science can you memorize and repeat back?” You’re supposed to learn how to evaluate and use knowledge, not just play “look how much I can recite without peeking!“
Indeed, the genders are not equal – going by the evidence in this thread, women on average have much better writing skills, and they can spell.
I washed Rowdy’s feet once but that was because he had an infection on the bottom of his foot and it needed to get cleaned out real good. It wasn’t because he was A MAN.
/tmi
@ozymandias42
Their ain’t a man alive that’s witnessed a woman do any kind of labor. Child labor is the limit of modern womens work ethic. Find me a woman with callouses on her hands. I dare ya.
@ozymandias42
The genders aren’t equal. Equality before the law and equality of ability are seperate.””
I’ve asked you about equality before the law. It doesn’t mean much if the law is oppressive, which is a reason I dismiss states. And which abilities? Are abilities equal within a sex or gender? What measure of ability is to be used? If abilities are inequal, why should we HAVE equality before the law. Also, was Paul not asking the congregations to obey Roman law and custom, where there absolutely WAS not equality in the eyes of that system?
(For the record, I go with Equality of Authority as the meaningful equality, because I’m pretending to be a libertarian)
But first WHAT IS THE LAW. And how can we be equal before it?
Oh, what, NWO? The big Christian man can’t out-theology a single atheist? Come on, I know you must have at least ONE prooftext. You wouldn’t claim the Bible says men can be domineering over women without some solid Biblical backing, would you?
“@ozymandias42
Their ain’t a man alive that’s witnessed a woman do any kind of labor.”
Not a single one?