If you wonder why some dudes get so worked up about “false rape accusations,” it may be because their notion of “seduction” is pretty much indistinguishable from what most of us would call “date rape.” And chances are good that they sort of know this.
Check out this discussion in Reddit’s Seduction subreddit, recently highlighted in ShitRedditSays.
The original poster writes in with a heartrending tale: it seems he can’t get the ladies to touch his penis. Throw5891away writes:
So I have little problem getting numbers, little trouble turning those numbers into dates, I can keep her interested during dates, but i can’t make the move to anything physical beyond a kiss or some light making out.
Let’s have the deets!
A lot of my problem, I think, comes from the fear of possibly making it awkward. I’ve been in a few situations where i’ve tried to slide a hand down the pants of a girl and she turns timid. This is after some over-clothes touching, or pressure with my thigh. Warming them up, i think, is not the major problem. Obviously if a girl says no, i’m not going to push through with it because that’s when it gets awkward.
Yes, trying to stick your fingers in a woman’s vagina when she doesn’t want you to does tend to get a little … awkward.
Beyond me failing at making a first move, it’s nearly impossible for me to get a girl to notice I have an erection and attempt to do something about it.
Maybe you need to wear a t-shirt that says “erection” on it with a big arrow pointing to your crotch? Otherwise how on earth are the ladies you’re making out with ever going to realize you have a boner?
I’m average in size there, so them not noticing is not an issue. I feel like I almost have to physically take their hand and place it on my junk in order to make it happen. And after a while of them paying no attention to my erection (mind you, they’re still gropey elsewhere/into making out), it really starts to make wonder if they’re really into having sex with me at all.
It seems you might just be onto something here. And how on earth can you possibly tell if a woman actually, for real, wants to have sex with you? It’s not like you can ask her directly, because she has the power of speech, or anything like that.
Instead, you’d better ask the dudes on r/seduction. So let’s just see what they have to say.
PuaCurveBall suggests that the best way to avoid the “awkwardness” spoken of earlier is just to ignore it:
I hope this advice doesn’t sounds rapey, but you need to keep going until they seriously tell you no.
Pro-tip: Any bit of advice that starts off with “I hope this advice doesn’t sound rapey” is advice you SHOULD NOT FOLLOW.
Them not telling you firmly to stop (more than just “we shouldn’t be doing this” or “it is too soon”) is the signal. Escalate until they tell you to stop.
Yes, because “we shouldn’t be doing this” is such an ambiguous statement. It could mean anything! It probably is just girl-code for “we should be doing this, so please grab my hand and put it on your dick.”
Either you should get a firm “no, seriously get your hands off me, I’m not ready yet” or you should be having sex with these girls. Everything in the middle is working against you.
So long as she doesn’t literally mace you, you can assume she actually wants you to keep going.
Naturally, the suave Lotherios of the r/seduction community rewarded this sensible advice with upvotes.
Others offered similar advice. Productionx was insistent: “No” means “keep going!”
Women want a man to be dominate. Other women lead you to believe you have to ask for permission, don’t listen to these stupid feminists. Go be a man, if she says no, you say ok, and keep doing exactly what you were doing. You get an erection, make it freaking known!!!
Fangs78 added:
Don’t give up before like the 9-10th time they stop you. Of course, if they are stern and REALLY mean it.
Everyone knows that the first 9 or 10 “no’s” really mean “maybe.”
It’s all part of the art of “seduction.”
This post contains:
“I hope this advice doesn’t sound rapey, but guinea pigs should be housed with a same-sex companion.”
Also note that many guinea pigs wrestle and jostle socially. When they fight rather than play, you’ll be able to tell, because it’s like a screamy, bloody, bitey ball of guinea pig violence. So don’t separate your guinea pigs unneccessarily when they’re just a pair that likes friendly scuffling! Happens a lot, unfortunately, and makes them sad and unneccessarily lonely! Also, guinea pigs CAN be neutered (or spayed, but that’s more expensive and invasive) by your vet without much fuss, and live happily with the opposite sex without burying you under guinea pigs! Also, never allow a female guinea pig to have her first litter after she’s a year and half old, as that will almost certainly cause her to die in childbirth.
Oh, the OP? No, fuck that right now. Fuck that and I’m going to go play with my guinea pigs.
Bobbyjo – That. And they have the internet to allow themselves to combine their self pitying delusions.
@bobbyjo – I believe they have othered women so much that they are incapable of relating to them at a human level.
I hope this doesn’t sound rapey, but I love my guinea piggies.
http://yfrog.com/h6dz7xlfj
That’s a very cute piggy, Holly. I like her little toes!
Gosh, I hope that wasn’t rapey …
I hope this doesn’t sound rapey, but… oh shit, my tire pressure!
Awwwww! Your piggy is so cute!
I used to have a guinea pig named Hershey (chocolate colored), he lived to the ripe old age of 6 too. I miss that noisy little furball, he used to terrify my cats.
@Lauralot
I saw the 2009 version and loved it. Not sure if I’m gonna see the new one in theaters or wait for it on netflix/dvd. I might even try reading the book one of these days.
And, keeping with the theme, I hope that didn’t sound rapey.
AAAH GUINEAPIGS! I had piggies all while growing up, since my parents are allergic to cats and dogs. They make such cute chirruping noises.
Dear god. She knows about you’re erection. She is choosing not to touch you anyway.
Dear OP: Try treating your dates like people rather than vending machines.
Also, I hope this doesn’t sound rapey, but I missed you, Manboobz.
Aww, we missed you too, LaplaceDemon! I was quite happy to see your name pop up again!
Oh, crap. Did that sound rapey?
Hey, what’s up LD?
(He typed in his least rapey manner.)
Also, I’m always amazed that these guys are totally willing to encourage a woman to GRAB THEIR JUNK, but are too timid to ASK how far this particular young lady wants to go. Like, if she stops you, it’s perfectly okay to ask, “okay, what do you want to do tonight?”
And if you don’t like the answer, your solution is not sexual assault.
I hope this doesn’t sound rapey, but I’m really proud of my mastery of complex fractions. (Yes, I should have learned them when I was eleven. STILL PROUD.)
I do not understand the point of this man’s post. A RealDoll would be much less expensive, if you would like to have sex with someone who is not into it.
Hi Laplace! I was actually talking about you a while back wondering where you were… 🙂
Crap, I hope that didn’t sound rapey.
OZY. I keep meaning to somehow contact you to tell you how freakin’ impressed I am with NSWATM. And I mean that in the least rapey way possible.
Life is good! I have almost two weeks off! I have absolutely no idea what to do with myself when I’m not working all the time! I’m told normal people watch this thing called TV…
How’re things around here? How’s MRAL? Who are the big trolls, these days? NWO still spend all his spare time around here? Do we still get regular doses of PEACE AND FREEDOM !!!111!!!!!11111 ?
Dude, MRAL has taken a turn for the reasonable. It’s actually kind of sweet.
That actually makes me feel kinda warm and fuzzy.
Yeah, MRAL decided he didn’t want to troll any more, and now engages with us in good faith.
@Raincitygirl
haha thanks X)
NWO thinks it is okay to rape men and beat women who say things he doesn’t like.
DKM is, we have discovered, a visitor from an alternate universe: a libertarian, magitek cyberpunk dystopia.
He Who Must Not Be Named, Br-don, who shows up when summoned, is the new nominee for Most Boring Dudebroish troll.
Arks wins the award for Most Creative Use of Language, with his references to “hot buttered manatees.” He also enjoys hating on geeky women.
Other new trolls include Whatever and Monsueir sans Now, neither of which is particularly interesting.
In my head this keeps crossing with that running gag from Orgazmo:
“I hope this doesn’t sound rapey, but I think unicorns are kickass!”
“I hope this doesn’t sound rapey, but I think fire is very romantic.”
“I hope this doesn’t sound rapey, but I’d kinda like to make love to you tonight.”
Also, thank you, Laplace. 🙂 NSWATM is my baby, after all, and it’s always nice to hear that someone appreciates it.
ಠ_ಠ