Did Tom Matlack of the Good Men Project – not to be confused with Ben Matlock, fictional defense lawyer beloved by the elderly – swallow one of those mysterious “red pills” I keep hearing about on Men’s Rights blogs? Whatever he swallowed, it’s apparently causing him to hallucinate.
How else to explain his recent post on the GMP site titled “Being a Dude Is a Good Thing.” Now, as a dude who spends a good deal of time every day being a dude, I’ve got nothing against anyone being a dude, provided that’s what they want to be. It’s just that the piece itself is full of some rather strange generalizations that don’t actually seem to be, you know, true, at least not in what’s commonly known as “the real world.”
Rather than try to rebut his argument, because he doesn’t seem to have much of one, let’s just look at some of his loopier pronouncements:
Why do men get blamed for everything?
Uh, because they don’t? Sure, men get blamed for things, but guess what? Women get blamed for things all the time, too, from witchcraft, to divorce, to getting themselves raped, battered or killed. They’ve been blamed for earthquakes, for “inciting” male lust, for killing chivalry and “killing off real men,” for “taking roles intended by God only for men.” Heck, some inventive sorts have even figured out how to blame women for men who are assholes. And this guy has decided that “Black Women are to blame for the disrespect Black Men show towards Black Women.” For endless additional examples, scroll back through the posts and comments here, visit any of the blogs on my “boob roll,” or simply continue living on planet earth.
Back to Matlack, whose generalizations get more surreal by the sentence:
In the locker room, in the bathroom, on the walk out of the board room, in my conversations with men of all kinds, that’s what I hear more than anything. The resignation that to be a man is to be unacceptable at some level to the woman in your life.
Really? Who on earth are you hanging out with? And what women are they hanging out with? Are men other than Tom Matlack and his possibly apocryphal conversational partners actually having conversations like this on a regular basis? If the “woman in your life” basically hates men, what is she doing with you, and what are you doing with her?
One close friend jokes, “When speaking to my wife I always make sure to look at the ground in deference. And I make sure not to make any sudden movements.”
Um, what?
I’ve watched him. He loves his wife.
He’s a very competent human being. But with her he’s decided the only way to survive is to submit. The female view is the right view. The male view just gets you into trouble.
You see what I meant before about the hallucinations, right?
But Matlack suggests there is hope for the poor demure, never-before-heard-from men of the world. Apparently they are starting to open their mouths at last.
It seems that the blame game in the mainstream, whether through the minimization of male life in pop culture or on television or through the continued obsession with men behaving badly, has finally struck a chord with the average guy.
Let’s just pause a moment to reflect on this whole “minimization of male life in pop culture or on television.” Mr. Matlack, do you actually watch movies or television, or visit libraries or anything like that? Most movies revolve around men as the main characters, with women in many cases serving as little more than a love interest or simply as scenery. Have you ever heard of the Bechdel test? Read up on it, run the test on some of your favorite films, and then get back to us on the “minimization of male life in pop culture.”
Now back to Matlack’s manifesto:
We are no longer willing to be blamed for being men. We are no longer willing to avert our gazes and stay silent about our feelings. We are raising our voices and telling our stories in our own male vocabulary.
Yeah, because men have been so utterly silent about their feelings, their opinons, and pretty much everything, up until now.
To women, I assume the response is, “well, it’s about time.” But just remember when we talk it’s not going to sound like a women in a man’s body. It’s gonna be all dude. And you are just going to have to deal with that.
Ladies, prepare yourselves for a lot more Dudesplaining in the near future. Dudes will be ignored no longer! Dudes!!! DUUUUUDESSS!!!!!!
EDITED TO ADD: Matlack’s gotten some responses on Twitter to his dudely roar; he’s posted a bunch of them here. Guest appearances by Amanda Marcotte and (seriously) Roseanne Barr.
Here are some
Loggers
http://sierraloggingmuseum.org/jamborees/2009-14th-annual-logging-jamboree/
http://www.superintendentmagazine.com/print-1473.aspx
Masons:
http://www.toolworks.com/bilofsky/trips/chinapub/pages/0768%20…%20and%20old-fashioned%20Chinese%20hand%20labor,%20like%20this%20woman%20hauling%20bricks.htm
Riveters
http://www.historicalstockphotos.com/details/photo/131_woman_riveting_an_a-20_bomber.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2025015/World-War-Two-colour-photos-capture-Americans-mobilising-battle.html
And a shipwright:
http://www.smh.com.au/national/women-fight-to-crack-the-perspex-ceiling-20110812-1ique.html
@Nobinayamu
“Seriously, I realize that your life is a tragic misery of thwarted desire, dreams deferred, self-inflicted loneliness and despair”
Did your intuition deduce all this? Golly! If I take hormones will I get some of that ESP?
Well it’s been real but I’m tired. However, I’ve learned sooo much. Men have oppressed women thruout history with childbirth. By doing the jobs women couldn’t possibly compete with men for, since those were the only jobs available. By being maimed and dying in those jobs. By caring for their families. Being a selfless, hardworking, caring husband in the past meant raping your incubator wife. Being a wise, caring father meant ownership of children whom men saw a little more than chattel or cattle.
Yes, I’ve learned so much thanks to feminism. Now you see why I mock the mockers.
Well, children, where there is so much racket there must be something out of kilter. I think that ‘twixt the negroes of the South and the women at the North, all talking about rights, the white men will be in a fix pretty soon. But what’s all this here talking about?
That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain’t I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain’t I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man – when I could get it – and bear the lash as well! And ain’t I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother’s grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain’t I a woman?
Then they talk about this thing in the head; what’s this they call it? [member of audience whispers, “intellect”] That’s it, honey. What’s that got to do with women’s rights or negroes’ rights? If my cup won’t hold but a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn’t you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?
Then that little man in black there, he says women can’t have as much rights as men, ’cause Christ wasn’t a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.
If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back , and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it, the men better let them.
Obliged to you for hearing me, and now old Sojourner ain’t got nothing more to say.
The cardigan pencil skirt combo was great. If I were Hendricks, I’d have Janie Bryant and team make everything for me. The Westwood’s have suited her; the strong corseting is wonderful on her. And I know she doesn’t have designers throwing dresses at her because she isn’t sample sized and designers are cheap. I just wish she’d stick to what works for her: classic, clean lines, structure, and strong colors. Mouret’s earlier work would’ve been perfect for her.
NWO, I know that pointing out the cognitive dissonance of your writing is pointless as tits on a boar, but come on man. Mocking misogyny is hubristic and arrogant, but deciding that you are the sole arbiter of what constitutes appropriate displays of masculinity isn’t?
Why should your opinion matter? Who the fuck are you? You’re an angry, lonely, middle-aged man who thinks that 11 year old girls dress sexy and contracts are made binding by the use of all caps. You don’t think men should wear dresses… Okay. Some men are still going to wear dresses no matter how many times you yell about it on the internet.
Hell, I’m thinking of going to the drag queen brunch tomorrow.
@NWO
a few years? try 60 you dumb fuck.
1850 Property ownership and tax requirements eliminated by 1850. Almost all adult white males could vote.
1870 The 15th Amendment is passed. It gives former slaves the right to vote and protects the voting rights of adult male citizens of any race.
1920 The 19th Amendment guarantees women’s suffrage.
http://www.infoplease.com/timelines/voting.html
Yea…all the menz did soooo much! women did nothing. That’s exactly what history told us. Although I understand why filthy misogynists like you believe that, because women’s work is always devalued. It was worth nothing which is why it paid nothing. Raising kids, growing food and feeding your family, sewing their clothes…no, that wasn’t important at all. Can you mine or log naked on an empty stomach? I’ve heard it all from you and you other MRA lying sacks of shit. Tell me NWO? what do YOU do? do you log? do you mine? No. You fix milk machines or some shit. And you have enough time to type lies and disgusting shit on the internet. Some hard life you have.
Keep believing that men where so oppressed though, and had no power or perks at all. Keep pretending that even poor men were still ranked higher than there poor wives. You will be laughed at.
And don’t call me princess you patronizing turd.
@Polliwog – I’m queer, but I’m oblivious as hell. The skin didn’t occur to me and, to be honest, I had no concept of how large her breasts are. When I saw scenes from Mad Men later I was like, “Where on EARTH did those come from?!!!!”
I’m just a sucker for red heads. Le sigh…
Every. Single. Fucking. Time. I think NWO can’t get any stupider, he proves me wrong. I mean, there has to be some kind of lower limit, right? Somewhere?
@KathleenB – I really don’t think there’s a lower limit. I determine how much energy I have on a given day or evening or moment before reading comments from people I know are gonna push my buttons. Tonight? I’m in a good mood and heading to bed soon, so I’m not even gonna peruse.
I used to have fights with my siblings (when we were under the age of 10, mind you) about whose pain was worse when we got hurt, who got sicker, whose chicken pox itched more. Stupid kid stuff, where if you win, it was because you’d lost.
That’s all I can hear in my head when I read NWO posts. Stupid kid-like whining for attention.
“Every. Single. Fucking. Time. I think NWO can’t get any stupider, he proves me wrong. I mean, there has to be some kind of lower limit, right? Somewhere?”
Nope, with NWO, there is no lower limit.
No, it’s pretty obvious to me too.
How about it, NWOslave? How is it not oppression that humans were given carte blanche to rape their wives?
No, NWO, I don’t have intuition, female or otherwise. But unlike you, I do have reading comprehension and a decent memory. Nearly everything you’ve ever written here indicates that you are miserable, lonely, full of despair, and have achieved very little of what you hoped to do with your life. A few days ago when you made that pathetic post about your work buddies coming over to your house to “group-tube” manboobz with you…
Like I said, if I didn’t think you’d earned every ounce of your misery, that kind of display would’ve made me feel sorry for you.
NWO: You’re a horrible excuse for a human being with no compassion or empathy. But I’ve just learned something horribly sad: Etta James has terminal leukemia. That lady had a voice!
bostonian: Sigh. I was afraid of that.
NWO also fails to realize that that white men who did those hard laborious jobs actually got paid. Money= freedom and independence. What money did the majority of women get for the work they did? who did women rely on for money? how is one sex relying on another for money freedom?
Ozy, I’m sure you understand by now that according to people like NWO and the Meller-toad, in the past there were no poor women, no women of color, and certainly no poor women of color. I should think that would be obvious. When they speak of women in the “past” they mean relatively well off women; the wives of merchants or skilled artisans. They don’t mean women whose husbands were share-croppers. The don’t mean the women who worked in laundries, or canneries, or mines. They sure as hell don’t mean women who were slaves.
They mean “real” women.
Women and children coal miners: http://www.womeninworldhistory.com/coalMine.html
Women railroad workers: http://www.scribd.com/doc/50308832/Women-railroad-workers-ca-1918
chatting with my friend who is asking me why I’m even bothering with NWO. I dare say she’s right.
Darn those women and children coal miners, taking work from teh menz! Oh, the unmitigated gall!!!
It’s the same type of thinking he and people like him, engage in when they talk about dating, sex and women. They don’t see the unattractive women, the fat women, the women past 30, the women who have social anxiety or other personality traits that may prevent them from successfully dating. No the only women they think of when they rant are the lucky super pretty women who attract men easily. And in the rare chance they do recognize the existence of conventionally unattractive women, they have the audacity to insult them.
Um, first of all, rape victims are blamed for what happened to them regardless of what gender they are; even if they were children at the time. Second of all, the only people I ever hear even mentioning “witchcraft” as something to be concerned about are delusional jesusfreaks. And no, I really don’t care what mullah abdul snackbar from dirkadirkastan has to say about women causing earthquakes! All I ever hear from women is endless whining about Men and how it’s a menz world and men are the source of all of our societies problems and if men would just cease to exist everything would be happy and peaceful and harmonious just like some hippy fantasy. Scapegoating men has a very specific purpose: Guilt tripping. When you successfully induce guilt in others you make them feel like they owe you something. Women whine. It’s what they do. And since it seems to get them what they want they have no intention of stopping this behavior. In times like these, anything a woman does, no matter how selfish and inconsiderate, will earn her a congratulation from feminists signed “you go, girl!”. So for all you bleating feminists out there, here’s a reality check:
THE WORLD DON’T OWE YOU SQUAT.
Sincerely,
That nameless french d00d U love to hate. 😛
PS: The world don’t owe me squat either! So join the club.
LOL Damsel. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t as usual.
One moar thang: A big reason why people behave the way they do and continue to do so is because……………*drumroll*………it gets them what they want. Who’d of ever thought!?! There are men out there who act like complete douchebags and women keep falling for ’em. This doesn’t mean women enjoy how they get treated by these guys but yet they keep coming back for more because deep down, they find this guys irresistible. Those bad boys just turn women on.
I won’t deny that men like this usually have a lot more going for them than just a bad attitude. They’ve got looks, street smarts, big muscles, athletics, or they can play the mean guitar in a rock band.
I don’t how any of you have the energy or the patience to argue at length with NWO at this point. Absolutely nothing gets through to him, ever. Most of the time it’s all I can do to bother with shaking my head an sighing. He does kind of make me want to break out the nail polish out of spite, though.
MRAL
STOP reading Hugo’s blog. Seriously. I find him kinda irritating, which I solve by NOT READING HIM. You should try it.
Bullshit, and there are countless examples in these comments threads of you MRAs trying with your “gotcha” moments that end up backfiring right in your faces.