So you may have seen the story yesterday about the University of Vermont fraternity that was suspended for sending out a charming little survey that allegedly asked, among other things, “If you could rape someone, who would it be?” (FWIW, the frat now says it was the work of an individual frat member, not the chapter.)
Reading about this incident, I’m guessing that you probably didn’t ask yourself: “I wonder how the guys at the False Rape Society will use this news to push their own agenda?” Heck, I didn’t even think to ask myself that question. But while doing the rounds of the MRA blogs I’ve discovered the answer to that question, and here it is: FRS head honcho Pierce Harlan described the survey as “perhaps a poke at feminism’s fascination with rape,” then denounced it as “indefensible,” then ranted about the evils of false rape accusations. I guess that isn’t really shocking at all.
First, Harlan offered this take on the “who would you rape” question:
I assume the survey was sick humor, a crude satire of the fratboy culture, and perhaps a poke at feminism’s fascination with rape.
Yes, because any time men make rape jokes it’s probably because, you know, feminism, and its wacky obsession with rape.
Then Harlan went on to suggest that rape was no laughing matter – especially when it comes to rape that doesn’t happen:
Whatever it was intended to be, ultimately it is indefensible, because trivializing the word “rape” is no laughing matter, whether it’s a joke about the rape of male prisoners, or the fantasy “rape” of women, or a false rape claim intended to get a guy in, or a woman out of, trouble.
Well, that was quick. Let’s not talk about the trivialization of real rape. Let’s talk about the epidemic of “false rape accusations” that Harlan has convinced himself is the real problem here.
With nary a pause, Harlan moved on to complain about hypothetical feminists making a big deal out of this survey instead of joining him on his crusade:
There most certainly will be an outcry in the feminist blogosphere over this isolated incident
This what incident?
and it will be cited as proof positive to support the myth that ours is a “rape culture.”
Yeah, I wonder why casual jokes about rape would possibly be considered as part of “rape culture.”
A “rape culture,” of course, not only would tolerate but would condone such a puerile survey. Our society does neither. The only “rape” jokes our society condones concerns prison rape — and that’s because society actually encourages prison rape as a sort of “added bonus” punishment for any hapless male who lands in prison. It is ironic that actual prison rape does not garner the outrage that this this sick fratboy humor is generating. Go figure.
This from a guy who doesn’t seem to have ever even bothered to mention the leading anti-prison rape organization, Just Detention, on his web site. (See here for more on the issue on Man Boobz.) Though he does offer three links on his main page to information about the statute of limitation for rape charges, in case anyone reading is worried about getting caught being falsely accused for something they did didn’t do a long time ago.
Meanwhile,rape jokes — and not just prison rape jokes — are everywhere. Harlan, I assume you are at least somewhat familiar with a little site called Reddit, where people not only laugh at rape jokes – they laugh at actual rape!
Meanwhile, in the comments on Harlan’s article, some False Rape Society readers don’t even bother to pretend that the “rape survey” bothers them. According to the commenter called “bad,”
We should be celebrating young men who stand up against misandry. We should be celebrating the frat that said “no means yes” and we should be celebrating the frat that created this survey, if it’s a real story.
An anonymous commenter takes it a step further:
I do not condemn this action,
in fact, I wish I’d thought of it.
It is a brilliant and very appropriate response to the way young men are being treated by college campuses.
When the answer to “who would you like to treat like a rapist” is “all college men”, I think that asking them who they’d like to rape is more than fair.
But it is Harlan’s response to these comments that is the most revealing:
By the way, I read the reaction of Bad and others as a natural backlash … against the unconscionable PC culture of misandry on campus. I happen to disagree with those who suggest this was acceptable, but their remarks should not be construed as evidence that we live in a “rape culture.” Like Steve, I read their comments more as an affirmation that we live in a false rape culture–a culture that more and more men are finding intolerable.
I, on the other hand, doubt that these young men have the first clue about misandry, feminism, or how colleges run roughshod over the rights of young men. I am always amazed when we hear from falsely accused people who “had not idea this goes on.” My guess is they were just being being “funny.” I would, frankly, love to find out I am wrong, and that not only would they never call for a woman to be actually raped, but that this was a protest against the pendulum swinging too far. In that case, I am still not sure I could find it acceptable but it would initiate an entirely different dialogue.
So the survey is “indefensible,” yet a totally understandable reaction to, and protest against, an “unconscionable PC culture of misandry.”
Got it.
EDITED TO ADD: Harlan has written a response, of sorts, to this post. It is a bit — what’s the word I’m looking for here? — zany.
bird – fluffy, noisy
(I had a budgie and a canary as a child – shame “bitey” isn’t a real word, that canary was mean)
NWO – manipulative, obvious
@Kyrie
I continued on with the rest to see what woman/brother/sister would get. But the response time was too slow online.
Why didn’t they use words like brave, courageous, selfless, loving, outgoing and so forth for men.
Because they’re made up people who only exist in your head.
We should have invited Arks to the test:
“When I think ‘woman’ the first thing that comes to mind is ‘wasted potential”
NOT positive.
AntZ would have played but the only thing that came out of his mouth was ROBOTS. Like, in all caps too, just:
ROBOTS
VoiP ” Actually, tall was just me fishing for my initial word picture, which is something like “limbed?”
How…many…limbs?”
A lot, cause it’s da-vinci’s range of motion and um.. stuff? 😉
NWO: when you say brother or sister, contrary to man or woman, I don’t think about things in general, just mines.
Anyway, Evidence of this study, please?
Also, taxes?
kyrie – exactly. brother and sister for me are concrete, not abstract.
I don’t have a brother so I didn’t know what to say =/
@zhinxy
“ALL of them? Nobody even answered a weird one like I did (“hungry, was one of mine)?”
Nope, no funny ones. Every trait associated with man was bad and every trait associated with woman was good.
This is why pretty much why all men avoid therapists like the plague.
There was a recent article about boys, where they interviewed adolescent boys and asked them why they don’t see a therapist or school councilor if they’re depressed. The #1 answer was, and this is a quote, “What’s the point.” I heartily agree.
I miss big sister 🙁 She’s working in Israel in a hospital for dying and/or old people, which makes her two kinds of brave at the same time. Being female does not.
“There was a recent article about boys, where they interviewed adolescent boys and asked them why they don’t see a therapist or school councilor if they’re depressed. The #1 answer was, and this is a quote, “What’s the point.” I heartily agree.”
And what did girls answered? I think “what’s the point?” would be answer number one for depressed people who don’t see a therapist, no matter the ages or the gender.
you’re not going to cite this or anything
my psychologist and psychiatrist are both men. Do they avoid themselves? Or did I just BLOW YOUR MIND
And we still need the link, that’s like internet debate 101.
This was actually fun(?) but I don’t think it proved what NWOslave wanted it to prove. “Sticky men! On FIRE! With kittens!”
Actually, NWOslave, why DID you want to prove that all therapists are sexist?
Monk goes to therapists. At least one of them is male (bad, bad memory) 🙂
Molly: to explain why he’s helpless?
@Molly Ren
A therapist can only be hurtful when they all come in with preconcieved notions of men having only negative traits. How can a therapist possibly help?
So, NWO, links? Anywhere? I mean, I know it’s hard for you to link to parts of the internet that aren’t about conspiracies and holocaust denial, but pretty please?
Have you ever met a therapist NWO?
NWO, where’s this study? Otherwise I’ll think you pulled it directly from your ass where the rest of your greatest hits come from.
NWO, seriously, do you have a cite for that study? It sounds like perfect NSWATM material.
And men are socialized away from going to therapists, because it’s unmanly to go to therapists. And there tend to be more female therapists, which causes some problems, because men may feel less comfortable talking to a woman.
I think going to a therapist, period, has a bad connotation. No matter what gender of therapist you’re going to go see, people don’t want to go because it will mean they’re “crazy”, and the chance of stigma outweighs everything else.
Once, when I was wondering out loud if I would benefit from therapy after a depressing year, a friend of mine told me that therapists “just make you feel worse” and make you go over your past so you’re worse off than you were before so you’d keep paying them money… and as little sense as this makes to me now after I’ve read about actual therapy and mental illness, I don’t think this idea’s been entirely stamped out in our culture.
I saw a study once about how people who believe in feminist conspiracies are all hateful, misogynistic douche bags with no friends or family that admit to their existence! Every single one. Really, totally true, on my honor. It totally happened.
What citation?