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When 5 is 7: Advanced Facebook dating math, according to the dude who actually calls himself “Heartiste”

Cats also think they're all that.

Today, a lesson in advanced Facebook dating mathematics, courtesy of our friend Roissy/Heartiste.

First: fellas, remember that online dating is stacked against us, due to the ability of the ladies to post pictures of themselves looking cute on Facebook – one of the gravest injustices of the modern world. As Heartiste explains, in a post with the bracing title You’ll Need Hard Negs For Facebook Game:

So you’ve got millions of women posting flattering pics of themselves and personal details that are uniformly positive on their FB walls, and you’ve got a bunch of cloying betas feeding the egos of these women even further with painstakingly crafted supportive comments, and you expect to make any headway with tepid game? That is a bitch shield too strong to breach.

But if you must engage the ladies on this unfavorable terrain, remember to adjust your calculations accordingly. As Heartiste explains this new math:

The combination of self-selected profiles and nonstop beta adulation will boost a 5′s self-conception to a 7. Since 5s already have a self-conception of 6 thanks to the phenomenon of female upward dating momentum and the alpha cock carousel, you now have a double-strength bitch shield to bust instead of a single strength.

I’ve prepared a simple chart to illustrate this point:

How to date on Facebook

But wait! There’s more:

Remember, if a 5 believes she’s a 7 (“But I *feel* like a 7!”) she is also going to believe that male 7s are not high enough status for her. Women are not truly happy unless they are dating men 0.5 to 2 sexual market value points higher than themselves.

Five thinks it’s seven. But seven is five. SEVEN IS FIVE!

The reality, of course, is that the male 7 is two full points higher than the female 5. But the Facebook wall has meddled with the primal forces of nature. An unbridgeable chasm brought about by the advance of technology has severed the organically emergent hierarchy of the dating market where there is no escape from soul withering judgments made in mere seconds.

So, as always, the best bet for the modern man is to find some lady in the real world who actually thinks she’s the number she is. Then, simply neg her until she hates herself. That’s how the math is supposed to work.

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Stephanie
Stephanie
13 years ago

@Kyrie

haha! I like that. Just burst out into laughter. They would find that SO “emasculating.”

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
13 years ago

>>>But apparently some people meet in bars?

Bars are really terrible pick up spots IMO, unless you’re going there to meet Friends Of Friends that were pre-filtered as potential romantic/sexual interests. Of course, the fact I’m straight edge might influence my opinion, since in general the best way to pick up is to actually have another reason to be somewhere besides trolling for sex (otherwise you seem either miserable and/or desperate, since your entire evening is invested in succeeding on a pick up).

I’ve picked up one woman ever in a bar. I was there with friends (actually, fellow Micro$erf interns… the internship program over there is really good for networking with other people your age). We went dancing (which is the only activity I can do in a bar that doesn’t involve pickup, given the straight edgeness). It was unpremeditated. Basically I danced near this girl, we were both having fun by ourselves then our gaze met, we smiled a lot, danced a bit together (but it was electronic music, not a slow dance style), then we both headed to a table to rest and we talked a bit. She had a thing for accents and I sounded vaguely European/French due to being from Quebec (this was in Seattle). We ended up in the bar’s women bathroom but I aborted mission when I felt uncomfortable with her level of drunkenness. At that point we had lost our respective groups and she was too drunk to remember where their hotel was. Brought her back to my appartment to sober up and we had sex in the morning when she wasn’t in an impeded state anymore. (Geez, it’s almost as though men have agency and aren’t uncontrollable animals that rape whenever someone is dressed ‘sluttily’ or had too much to drink. NWOslave’s brain blown.)

lj4adotcomdan
13 years ago

WHOA! I havn’t read many of the comments yet but let’s see if I get this right.

“Heartiste” is being critical of women for trying to show themselves in the best light, all while using the terminology of a PUA? Don’t PUA advocate making changes to your image in order to make yourself more appealing to the women they seek to pick up?

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
13 years ago

>>I haven’t been approached by a PUA yet, but two of my friends were approached by “Dimitri the lover”

Oh! Internet Celebrity Creep! Sometimes you forget these guys actually exist and are not just a character on some website…

ozymandias42
13 years ago

Puella Sapiens: 100% agreement.

Dracula: It was more like “Hey, hey, baby, you got a shirt? Do you want a shirt? I could buy you a shirt” said in a very slurred and drunken manner.

Holly: “does that work a lot?” is a shit test, which means that the PUA will think you’re just testing him to see how alpha he is and get him to apologize like a beta. He will respond in a cocky and funny way, such as “Yep. One billion served!” or in an agree and amplify way, such as “Never. I go home to my mom’s basement every night and cry.”

Alphalady
Alphalady
13 years ago

Re Poliwog: The dude whose attempt at a pick-up line was, “You know, you remind me of my wife, only not as attractive as she is. Say, she’s out of town for the weekend – wanna come back to my place?” might be a contender.

I think we met the same guy!

ozymandias42
13 years ago

Just so you know, “You’re a PUA, aren’t you?” is also a shit test. Heartiste recommends responding with “a friend told me about it, it’s pretty interesting stuff” or “No need. I wrote the book on seducing women.”

The question of whether it is possible to actually reject men in PUALand remains open.

captainbathrobe
13 years ago

Bars are hideous places to meet people, IME.

lj4adotcomdan
13 years ago

If you want to hook up with someone on facebook, isn’t that what the poke option is for?

blitzgal
13 years ago

Out of curiosity, has anybody here ever been approached by a PUA in real life? Or somebody you suspected is a PUA?

I had a guy perform magic tricks at a bar once. There was a whiff of desperation about him that weirded me out (no, he did NOT buy me a drink, he flagged me over while I was buying my own). When I showed no interest he merely moved on to the next woman at the bar and did the same trick. I didn’t hear about the PUA movement until later, but it made me wonder if he was one.

MirakeshIsAToon
MirakeshIsAToon
13 years ago

@Stephanie

I don’t know if this was PUA technique or not… But I once had a guy tell me on our second date that he had never had sex with any woman for more than one month because none of them could keep him interested. And that he just knew I was the “kind of freak” (his words) to “out-do” (again his words) all those other women. I left right then.

kladle
kladle
13 years ago

I have no idea how you even rate someone’s SMV.

There is a legitimate way of talking about what’s called “sexual capital” in sociology which is basically a qualitative measure of how much hierarchically-bestowed sexual power/agency you have.

I can’t find a good summary of the concept right off the bat but here’s a decent blog post on it about the general idea + a takedown of a researcher who gets it totally wrong: http://othersociologist.wordpress.com/tag/sexual-capital/

Some of Roissy’s measures are actually right (some of them are really ??? though)– someone who is thin, young, and is conventionally attractive will have a generally easier time in the Western dating world. They have a status which gives them a sort of “sexual privilege” I guess, because if you are displaying your sexuality in a way that lines up with social norms you will have certain advantages in certain spheres that others won’t. This doesn’t mean though that those characteristics are some sort of eternal ideal, or that they’re evolutionarily determined instead of facts about our current social arrangements, or that everyone ever will find those things attractive, or that women’s social or sexual capital is immutable and entirely physically based, or any of the other things that Roissy/Heartiste blathers on about.

If you’ve seen some of the OKCupid OKTrends blog stuff, for example, you can see that black women get the short end of the stick in the “dating market” (they’re systematically locked out of being able to play the dating “game” due to being devalued in comparison to other women, white women in particular). This isn’t because they’re “ugly” or “Betas” or whatever, obviously; it’s because black women are put at a disadvantage in the sexual/romantic sphere for a whole number of reasons having to do with race, gender, socioeconomic status, cultural myths about those things, etc. Responsible studies of the dating world take this sort of thing into account, even if they are taking an economic-model sort of tack at it.

Bee
Bee
13 years ago

Bars are hideous places to meet people, IME.

IME, it depends on the bar, the neighborhood, the town. If it’s the kind of neighborhood place where the same people go for lunch/dinner/drinks all the time and you can form relationships with people over time, it’s not bad. Same if it’s a tiny village where you pretty much know everyone anyway, and the bar is just where you get to see them let loose a little bit. It’s true that I would probably not go to an unfamiliar bar in an unfamiliar area specifically to meet my next boyfriend, though, no.

Holly Pervocracy
13 years ago

Oh lord, “no more mr nice guy”‘s link is hilarious. It’s such an overwrought description of “I talked to a woman for a few minutes and she didn’t tell me to go away,” it actually makes me feel guilty for laughing.

I used my masculine core magnetism to walk by her, then stop and check her out as she stood in her front yard, working on her scooter. With Zen confidence, zero insecurities, and zero pretense, I just looked at her. I was like a rock. Like an oak tree.

Okay, not fully like an oak tree. I did have a slight smirk on my face. I was teasing her without even saying anything. She got slightly flustered. Partially because she felt my magnetism.

Probably because there was a stranger standing there staring at her.

Finally — and finally means after may 5-7 seconds of tension — I said, “Where are your overalls?”, which to me was a good line, because it was a slight neg/disqualifier. Essentially telling her to cover herself up.

I am not sure she understood, because she said, “I am trying to get my bike to start. I teach at the university.”

Haha, his awesome neg was a completely baffling non sequitur.

I said, “You teach?”

“Yeah, I teach French at the university.”

There was some additional chit-chat, nothing special, but I made sure to stand really tall and proud, and to continue to feel her feminine energy. I swear I could feel our two magnets attracting each other. I now completely agree, communication is 80% non-verbal.

Someone get this man a job in a movie theater, because he sure knows how to project! No, seriously, this is terrible, mostly because this man desperately needs real coaching on social skills and instead the PUAs are preying on him and selling him Magic Fairy Dust Social Skills instead.

It was my masculine magnetism making Frenchie all nervous and self-conscious. Her hamster wheel was buzzing.

No, her hamster was having a brief, awkward conversation with a stranger who wasn’t taking multiple polite hints that this was a very nice chat bye now have a lovely day.

I am now in touch with my masculine magnetism. I will draw myself near to feminine magnetism. It is not me. I am just a conduit. It is the higher powers of the universe bringing us together, Frenchie.

Like I said, I feel sort of bad for laughing, because this guy is clearly vulnerable; he has real problems understanding and participating in social interactions. And the PUA crowd has taken that vulnerability and sold him misogynistic easy-solution nonsense when what he really needs is someone to tell him “talking to people is hard, and sometimes you’ll do everything right but they just won’t be open to you, but this is where you begin.” And because of PUAs, maybe he’ll never get that chance.

Stephanie
Stephanie
13 years ago

@blitzgal

That is so gross. I think guys that treat women like they are interchangeable (just going down the line to the next girl when one turns him down) are either PUAs or at the very least, misogynists/potential future PUAs.

They are basically treating women like kleenex.

@Blackbloc

“We ended up in the bar’s women bathroom but I aborted mission when I felt uncomfortable with her level of drunkenness. At that point we had lost our respective groups and she was too drunk to remember where their hotel was. Brought her back to my appartment to sober up and we had sex in the morning when she wasn’t in an impeded state anymore. ”

That should be in an anti-rape PSA or something. I really don’t understand why rape apologists don’t understand how easy it is to not rape someone.

Holly Pervocracy
13 years ago

I think guys that treat women like they are interchangeable (just going down the line to the next girl when one turns him down) are either PUAs or at the very least, misogynists/potential future PUAs.

There’s a guy who comes to my local kink meetup every time with a box of chocolates and offers chocolate to all the young women, methodically approaching every one of them while skipping past all the men and all the women over 40.

It’s sketchy.

Kyrie
Kyrie
13 years ago

“Just so you know, “You’re a PUA, aren’t you?” is also a shit test. Heartiste recommends responding with “a friend told me about it, it’s pretty interesting stuff” or “No need. I wrote the book on seducing women.””
What about my: “Ahahahahahahahahahaha”, is that also a shit test?

“No need. I wrote the book on seducing women.”
Men of the internet, the PUAs are trying to scam you! This sentence is actually a terrible idea to say, as it means “my favorite hobby is convincing as many women as possible to go in bed with me. I don’t care about them as human, as long as they have a working vagina and are cute enough that I can brag to my friends”

blitzgal
13 years ago

That is so gross. I think guys that treat women like they are interchangeable (just going down the line to the next girl when one turns him down) are either PUAs or at the very least, misogynists/potential future PUAs.

It’s part of the reason that they go after 18-20 year olds. Yeah, yeah, younger women are at their peak, it’s SCIENCE, blah blah blah. The fact of the matter is, a 28 year old woman is going to see your machinations from a mile away when an 18 year old might fall for them and not realize what an ass you are until after you’ve gotten laid and are done with her.

I like when they blatantly move on to the next woman. Makes it easier to spot the ones I need to avoid. It’s the ones who pretend to be nice and then turn into jerks after they’ve gotten laid that sometimes manage to fly under the radar.

Stephanie
Stephanie
13 years ago

@blitzgal

“It’s part of the reason that they go after 18-20 year olds. Yeah, yeah, younger women are at their peak, it’s SCIENCE, blah blah blah. The fact of the matter is, a 28 year old woman is going to see your machinations from a mile away when an 18 year old might fall for them and not realize what an ass you are until after you’ve gotten laid and are done with her.”

That’s very true. I also think that even if younger girls are not interested in having sex with them, they will still be a lot nicer because they are more naive, and also maybe because they are less self-confident than a woman a bit older. At least I was when I was that age. So while a 28 year-old woman will automatically see through their bullshit, an 18 year-old will probably be more likely to give them the time of day to spew it, even if they don’t get laid.

Magical Laura (@_magical_laura)

A guy once told me I was really hot but maybe I could do with a nose job o_O

blitzgal
13 years ago

So while a 28 year-old woman will automatically see through their bullshit, an 18 year-old will probably be more likely to give them the time of day to spew it, even if they don’t get laid.

This is also true. I’m much more confident to tell a stranger that I’m not interested or to speak up for myself when in the past I was very much caught up in that cultural pressure to not rock the boat, not make anyone feel uncomfortable, etc.

Stephanie
Stephanie
13 years ago

@Magical Laura

Ew, what a creep. He’s most definitely a PUA.

Kyrie
Kyrie
13 years ago

@Magical Laura: Or a plastic surgeon searching for new clients?
I kid, definitely PUA.

Alphalady
Alphalady
13 years ago

Funny how many of these guys use math and pseudoscience to justify their douchebaginess.

ozymandias42
13 years ago

Kyrie: I’m going to assume that “Ahahahahaha” is, in fact, also a shit test. Every positive thing a girl says means she’s into you; every negative thing a girl says means she’s into you but wants to see if you’re a beta.

Holly: Dontcha know that the real reason you don’t like him giving y’all chocolate is that that’s supplicating and beta? I bet if he insulted your fingernails the panties would just be flying off!

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