Today, a lesson in advanced Facebook dating mathematics, courtesy of our friend Roissy/Heartiste.
First: fellas, remember that online dating is stacked against us, due to the ability of the ladies to post pictures of themselves looking cute on Facebook – one of the gravest injustices of the modern world. As Heartiste explains, in a post with the bracing title You’ll Need Hard Negs For Facebook Game:
So you’ve got millions of women posting flattering pics of themselves and personal details that are uniformly positive on their FB walls, and you’ve got a bunch of cloying betas feeding the egos of these women even further with painstakingly crafted supportive comments, and you expect to make any headway with tepid game? That is a bitch shield too strong to breach.
But if you must engage the ladies on this unfavorable terrain, remember to adjust your calculations accordingly. As Heartiste explains this new math:
The combination of self-selected profiles and nonstop beta adulation will boost a 5′s self-conception to a 7. Since 5s already have a self-conception of 6 thanks to the phenomenon of female upward dating momentum and the alpha cock carousel, you now have a double-strength bitch shield to bust instead of a single strength.
I’ve prepared a simple chart to illustrate this point:
But wait! There’s more:
Remember, if a 5 believes she’s a 7 (“But I *feel* like a 7!”) she is also going to believe that male 7s are not high enough status for her. Women are not truly happy unless they are dating men 0.5 to 2 sexual market value points higher than themselves.
Five thinks it’s seven. But seven is five. SEVEN IS FIVE!
The reality, of course, is that the male 7 is two full points higher than the female 5. But the Facebook wall has meddled with the primal forces of nature. An unbridgeable chasm brought about by the advance of technology has severed the organically emergent hierarchy of the dating market where there is no escape from soul withering judgments made in mere seconds.
So, as always, the best bet for the modern man is to find some lady in the real world who actually thinks she’s the number she is. Then, simply neg her until she hates herself. That’s how the math is supposed to work.
YOU SHALL NOT PASS
Brandon, that’s called bullying and we don’t do that in this classroom, ok? Go sit in the corner and think about what you did.
I think #2 accounts for 90% of PUA success stories.
“Yeah yeah, my nails are press-on, whatever, we gonna do this or not?”
I didn’t know what a neg was, had never considered it “flirting” to tell someone something unflattering. Then I went to a party with a friend of mine. While I was at the bar, getting us drinks, a guy came up to her and said “Why did you have to destroy your beauty with that horrible piercing?” (nose btw.) She blinked, turned around and left.
I am not so sure, this strategy is successful!
@Amused:
1) I don’t insult people, I may however make a less than stellar observation about something I see around me.
2) Saying a neg doesn’t make women jump into bed with you. It does work on highly attractive women because most men don’t talk to her like that (usually they are kissing her ass or doing whatever she says). So you appear different in her eyes. Thus it allows you to begin a conversation. If you didn’t say that, then she would most likely blow you off.
3) When I was in high school, I was the typical Nice Guy, while I didn’t expect women to give me anything, I did think that niceness and accommodation would work in meeting a girl and getting a girlfriend. Needless to say, I had limited success. However, I acted slightly aloof and made comments to girls that no other man would make…and lo and behold, I had more girlfriends, dates, sex, etc…
So behavior matters when it comes to women and women as a whole view certain behaviors more attractive than others. The idea is to add more attractive traits while removing unattractive ones.
Holly, I’d wager that it’s 90-95% easily. Naturally, this is a difficult concept to understand for the kind of guys who think that women don’t have internal lives/their own needs/sex-drives that are independent of men.
“Negs only work on hot women” is the new “only smart people can see the Emperor’s clothes.”
Yeah, “less than stellar” sums you up pretty well.
So how does failure feel?
@Julie: Because you keep equating it to being insulting when it isn’t. If I say “You are fat as a cow”…that is an insult. If I say “you have something in your hair” or “You say “like”/OMG/”whatever” a lot”.
You aren’t insulting them, you are just saying something mildly unflattering. And saying unflattering things does not equal being insulting.
@Nobinayamu: Wrong.
@Kyrie: I don’t see it as hurting ones self image.
———————————-
I am actually curious as to what the commenters here actually think are negs. Can anyone provide examples of what YOU think a neg is?
Wow. Just… wow. Honestly, anyone who thinks insulting people is the way to get sex/dates deserves who they end up with.
I think #2 accounts for 90% of PUA success stories.
“Yeah yeah, my nails are press-on, whatever, we gonna do this or not?”
Yeah, the whole “Woman was going to fuck him anyway, so she let him think his Game bullshit was working long enough to get into bed.” theory is a pretty sound one, based on the fact that women;
A) Aren’t any more stupid, on the whole, than any other person.
B) Can read. It’s not like women aren’t aware that PUA bullshit exists.
You know what’s kind of sad? Watching guys who’ve eaten up this whole “Negs only work on hot women” thing actually try this shit in social settings. They’ve eaten up all this PUA foolishness, hook-line and sinker…
As an aside, isn’t PUA one of the greatest hustles ever?
At any rate, the guys who’ve bought into this “No one ever says anything mean to a pretty woman so if you tease/insult her in just the right way she’ll be intrigued!” are often not the most socially adept guys out there. But armed with this little bit of “knowledge”, they forge ahead trying to create a sense of false intimacy and flirty banter with strange women they find attractive by making just the right kind of insult. The results are… sometimes not pretty.
People who don’t already feel badly about themselves don’t actually like being insulted.
The idea of the “neg” can work. Sometimes. But it isn’t linked to some objective standard of attractiveness.
“Oh, yeah I did. There, I got it. Thanks.”
or
“No I don’t. Why did you say I did? What’s up with you?”
“Yeah, heh, I guess I do. Whatever!”
I’m not seeing the straight-line path to “take me home, please, take me home and prove to me that I’m still a woman!”
Brandon, if a girl has spent ample time on a manicure (meaning she probably spent money too) then implying her nails are cheap and trashy is actually an insult.
But you know, whatever works I guess. Gettin’ laid!
Brandon: How about ‘That’s a nice necklace/brooch/other bit of random jewelry. My grandma had one just like it.’ I’ve heard of that being used for clothes, too. I know nothing put me in a sexytime mood like being told I remind some random dude of his grandma! (if someone told me I remind them of my recently passed grandma, I’d be flattered beyond belief. She was awesomesauce.)
@Holly: Wrong. You rarely need negs on fatter/uglier women because 1) Any mild criticism will be overblown and she will feel hurt and 2) fatter/uglier women tend to not get approached as much. This makes her more available since she will tend to be more forgiving of any negative traits the guy has. Wherein more attractive women will get rid of you at the very first thing they don’t like about you since the chances of another guy hitting on her soon is pretty good.
I had no idea Brandon is an I-used-to-be-a-Nice-Guy(tm)! They’re always my favourites. “I tried to hide my entitlement and misogyny behind a screen of ‘niceness’, but I didn’t get laid enough, so I removed the screen!”
Sure I am Brandon. What about?
Incidentally, offering a stranger a completely unsolicited unflattering opinion is, here on earth, considered an insult. I realize that you barely understand how language works but, context matters.
Your distinction between insulting and making “less than stellar observations” is arbitrary and self-serving. Criticizing someone’s appearance and picking over their physical flaws or their wardrobe choices is fucking rude, and a de facto insult.
Oh, so the key is to appear different? Sweet! What a world of possibilities out there for getting your foot in the conversation door. Examples:
“I put marshmallows in my cole slaw. Do you?”
“I find talking to dead people soothes my tortured genius.”
“The Holocaust was a joke.”
“T’was brillyg, and ye slythy toves
Did gyre and gymble in ye wabe:
All mimsy were ye borogoves
And ye momeraths outgrabe.”
Notice, none of those entail a direct insult of the person you are talking to.
Right, here comes the standard “I was a nice guy, but girls didn’t treat me right, so now I punish them” story. A decent person will not act like a rude asshat, even if he didn’t get any in high school. Your typical “Nice Guy” is a blight on the face of humanity.
My profile picture is currently of a Christmas penguin, but normally it is the same Aeris icon that I use here. Because I do not use Facebook to find teh sex. I use it to keep in touch with family/friends across the country and to play dumb games.
@Julie: And how do I know if she spent hours doing her nails? For all I know, they could be kmart press ons.
This would get a response, because I’m sure I know where this is from but can’t remember.
I can’t see the Emperor’s clothes! I must be a fool!
Well, since you insulted me I’m rarin’ to go. I can’t wait another instant! Let’s do it right here, on the floor of this comment thread!
Hm… is “you’re too ugly to neg” like, a meta-neg?
Also, because every thread seems to inevitably skew towards Title IX and how all rapes are false accusations against innocent men, check out this article from Self. (Amanda wrote it up at Pandagon)
10 women have alleged that this man drugged and raped them. Police think he may have raped as many as 50 women. But he’s never been convicted, because each jury managed to believe that the sex was consensual. Wow, that deck is really stacked against this poor guy, huh?
http://www.self.com/health/2008/11/serial-rapist
KathleenB – It’s Jabberwocky, from Through The Looking-Glass, by Lewis Carroll!
I realize that nail comment is standard in the PUA neg catalog, but seriously, it is weird for a guy you’ve just met to inquire about a small part of your appearance like that. And by “weird”, I don’t mean cute and quirky, I mean as in “has a freaky nail fetish and possibly keeps women’s chopped-off fingers in his freezer” weird.