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When 5 is 7: Advanced Facebook dating math, according to the dude who actually calls himself “Heartiste”

Cats also think they're all that.

Today, a lesson in advanced Facebook dating mathematics, courtesy of our friend Roissy/Heartiste.

First: fellas, remember that online dating is stacked against us, due to the ability of the ladies to post pictures of themselves looking cute on Facebook – one of the gravest injustices of the modern world. As Heartiste explains, in a post with the bracing title You’ll Need Hard Negs For Facebook Game:

So you’ve got millions of women posting flattering pics of themselves and personal details that are uniformly positive on their FB walls, and you’ve got a bunch of cloying betas feeding the egos of these women even further with painstakingly crafted supportive comments, and you expect to make any headway with tepid game? That is a bitch shield too strong to breach.

But if you must engage the ladies on this unfavorable terrain, remember to adjust your calculations accordingly. As Heartiste explains this new math:

The combination of self-selected profiles and nonstop beta adulation will boost a 5′s self-conception to a 7. Since 5s already have a self-conception of 6 thanks to the phenomenon of female upward dating momentum and the alpha cock carousel, you now have a double-strength bitch shield to bust instead of a single strength.

I’ve prepared a simple chart to illustrate this point:

How to date on Facebook

But wait! There’s more:

Remember, if a 5 believes she’s a 7 (“But I *feel* like a 7!”) she is also going to believe that male 7s are not high enough status for her. Women are not truly happy unless they are dating men 0.5 to 2 sexual market value points higher than themselves.

Five thinks it’s seven. But seven is five. SEVEN IS FIVE!

The reality, of course, is that the male 7 is two full points higher than the female 5. But the Facebook wall has meddled with the primal forces of nature. An unbridgeable chasm brought about by the advance of technology has severed the organically emergent hierarchy of the dating market where there is no escape from soul withering judgments made in mere seconds.

So, as always, the best bet for the modern man is to find some lady in the real world who actually thinks she’s the number she is. Then, simply neg her until she hates herself. That’s how the math is supposed to work.

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mralieutenant
13 years ago

I was masturbating the other day and I got to thinking, why are there no creepy women? Because they aren’t forced into the boxes that men are. Men HAVE to approach- and if they “fail the test” (which they have to take) they’re considered creeps by the alpha bitches.

Fenriswolf
Fenriswolf
13 years ago

I generally can’t keep up with this forum so just lurk but just for a pointless contribution I’m currently flicking back and forth between this and Facebook (irony?) and really wanted to LIKE your comment about the heels Quackers. Don’t forget to get nice and hydrated for your spitting!

Bostonian
13 years ago

Michelle Bachmann is hella creepy, it is the expression in her eyes.

Molly Ren
13 years ago

Of all places for your mind to go while wanking, MRAL, why *there*? Were you masturbating *while* thinking about creepy women? o.o

mralieutenant
13 years ago

Shit. I sincerely apologize to any who were triggered by my previous statement. It should read:

“Men HAVE to approach- and if they “fail the test” (which they have to take) they’re considered cr**ps by the alpha bitches.”

hellkell
hellkell
13 years ago

There are creepy women, MRAL. Being thought of as creepy is not the result of failing some made up test. It’s because the person is creepy.

This alpha beta omega horseshit is all in your head. Stop looking up to sadass douches like Roissy and his ilk.

Did you ever go to the mall and observe couples?

Orion
13 years ago

Wow. Just read this thread after looking at the others. Yeah, I’m starting to suspect “masturbating” means something totally different to MRAL than it does to me.

Moewicus
Moewicus
13 years ago

I made a friend in the last few months through OkCupid. According to her, she got a disconcertingly large amount of messages, most of which clearly indicated they hadn’t read her profile. She was not at all arrogant towards me, however, despite the fact that I am not an Alpha Asshole Pittclone. In another case a girl gave me her cell number to text after one message. As it turns out, being generally nice and curious about a person is a good strategy. Again, not AssPittClone.

Quackers
Quackers
13 years ago

@Fenriswolf

oh don’t worry, I will! xD

ozymandias42
ozymandias42
13 years ago

MRAL: As it happens, I did a whole post on NSWATM today about how I was a creepy chick. Check it out if you have the time: http://noseriouslywhatabouttehmenz.wordpress.com/2011/12/14/nice-guys-part-one-i-was-a-nice-girl/

katz
13 years ago

Dammit you guys making 300-post threads before I get home! What did I miss?

Alphalady
Alphalady
13 years ago

As it turns out, being generally nice and curious about a person is a good strategy.

Tell that to the manospherians, who think that a guy has to club a woman over the head and drag her into his cave to score points! LOL!

stonerwithaboner
13 years ago

MRAL-

this link is for you:

http://stonerwithaboner.wordpress.com/2011/09/02/lets-have-some-fun/

Really, I’ve never met Roissy/Heartiste but I don’t think he is looking out for you. Same with Roosh, they ain’t great guys at all.

Also, I understand you dislike Mr. Schwyzer-well, he has many traits similar to Roissy/Heartiste in my opinion….

I love it when people stop by and leave comments at my blog… My favs are along the lines of “White Knight Mangina” or a “Misogynistic, Homophobic Asshat.” But really, I love itso much mor when people ;leave a thought out argument….

stonerwithaboner
13 years ago

hahahaha, excuse the spelling errors, multitask I cannot 😉

KristinMH
13 years ago

I had a run in with an obvious PUA once, though he wasn’t trying to pick me up but my friend. He barged into our conversation, insulted both of us, spouted a lot of evo-psych crap, then pulled the crappiest mentalism act on me I’ve ever come across. And no, it didn’t work.

When I learned about PUAs a few months later I was like “OHHH THAT’S WHAT THAT WAS” and it suddenly mde so much more sense. Because trust me, the whole experience was much more baffling than sexy.

KristinMH
13 years ago

Also I had a stranger try to pick me up on Facebook once, back in 2007 when it was still fairly new. Some dude friended me; I messaged back with a polite “How do I know you?” message; he said “U dont but ur cute wanna chat?” or words to that effect, and I politely declined.

So clearly I am an ALPHA FUCK BITCH and ruined some guy’s life. Who knew.

katz
13 years ago

That’s a curious aspect of PUA culture–they behave oddly and then expect to get some response other than “That was odd.”

Quackers
Quackers
13 years ago

At the end of the day, it just placates crappy behavior from women.

I take issue with this Stoner. Exactly how does game placate “crappy behavior” in women, when it’s PUA creeps who are the ones walking up to female strangers, getting into their personal space, starting conversations while “negging” them (read insulting) and you’re saying women are the ones with bad behavior?

And define bad behavior. It seems to me Roissy and his little game zombies define bad behavior as anything a woman does that doesn’t include mindlessly worshiping men, acting submissive and fucking him at the snap of a finger.

And if there are women who are being difficult, or have unpleasant personalities, do not pretend that there aren’t men who do this either. The way to deal with people who play games is to not deal with them at all. Meaning, you do not date these people because they will just bring you down to their level. You don’t “punish” their bad behavior like you would a child who is your responsibility. Adults who act badly are not children, and its not anyone’s responsibility to punish them. I use the term punish because I’ve heard PUAs use the term “punishing women” when they get out of line or shit test or something. It’s dehumanizing.

If you have to manipulate your partner or your date, especially at every given second to get them to do what you want, that should be a very clear sign that you should not be with them.

Quackers
Quackers
13 years ago

that quoted bit was from Stoner’s blog post btw

Arks
Arks
13 years ago

Go to a comics or anime convention. Creepy, repulsive women everywhere. Lurk on tumblr. It’s like their secret witch coven.

katz
13 years ago

Tumblr’s a secret?

ozymandias42
ozymandias42
13 years ago

Hey, “people who go to cons are creepy” is a gender-neutral stereotype now! Feminism win!

stonerwithaboner
13 years ago

Quakers….

“The way to deal with people who play games is to not deal with them at all. Meaning, you do not date these people because they will just bring you down to their level.”

This is where I agree…

I am not a PUA or defender of them. The point is that that culture seems to be pursue at any cost. Maybe an analogy I will regret using, as Amanda Marcotte has used the buyers/sellers analogy and I disagree strongly with her, but I’ll try…

The impression I get is the average PUA mindset is pursue at any cost. Think of this like a job interview (again, I may regret this analogy, but I don’t have one better.) Ideally when one goes to the job interview, they are interviewing the prospective employer as much as they are being interviewed. Granted, they will be asked far more questions and maybe only get a chance to ask one or two towards the end. There would be a few telling things that may make the prospective employee not want the job. IE prospective employer badmouths former person who held job, before interview they hear prospective employer yelling at vendor on the phone w/ profanity. Secretary seems almost scared when talking prospective employee into the office. Little things adding up and painting a bad picture overall thus leading the prospective employee to perhaps turn down the job.

So a PUA tries to overcome negative signals-rudeness, flakiness-the signs **she is just not into you** as he should **tighten his game** whereas it might be more dignified to say, well, if she flakes that is a signal to move on. If she is rude, that is a signal to move on. If she is extremely intoxicated at the bar, maybe she isn’t someone you should get involved with as she may have personal problems… And, yup, I’ve been the really intoxicated guy at the bar before, I’ll let others decide if I have personal problems…..

katz
13 years ago

I’ve heard of open secrets, but two billion pageviews a month?

Orion
13 years ago

Wimmenz be creepy (sometimes). In high school, one girl who younger than me and not even allowed to date, confronted me when I started going out with my girlfriend and said she was mad at me for going out with a friend of hers. She had had a “secret” crush on me which I was aware of for months but had never discussed. Another girl followed me to and from various classes, joined activities just to get near me, and wouldn’t stop sitting by me no matter how nicely I asked her to leave me alone. Throughout high school girls gossiped among themselves about who was attracted to me and had secretive fights over who was allowed to approach me when.

Girlz be creepin’

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