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When 5 is 7: Advanced Facebook dating math, according to the dude who actually calls himself “Heartiste”

Cats also think they're all that.

Today, a lesson in advanced Facebook dating mathematics, courtesy of our friend Roissy/Heartiste.

First: fellas, remember that online dating is stacked against us, due to the ability of the ladies to post pictures of themselves looking cute on Facebook – one of the gravest injustices of the modern world. As Heartiste explains, in a post with the bracing title You’ll Need Hard Negs For Facebook Game:

So you’ve got millions of women posting flattering pics of themselves and personal details that are uniformly positive on their FB walls, and you’ve got a bunch of cloying betas feeding the egos of these women even further with painstakingly crafted supportive comments, and you expect to make any headway with tepid game? That is a bitch shield too strong to breach.

But if you must engage the ladies on this unfavorable terrain, remember to adjust your calculations accordingly. As Heartiste explains this new math:

The combination of self-selected profiles and nonstop beta adulation will boost a 5′s self-conception to a 7. Since 5s already have a self-conception of 6 thanks to the phenomenon of female upward dating momentum and the alpha cock carousel, you now have a double-strength bitch shield to bust instead of a single strength.

I’ve prepared a simple chart to illustrate this point:

How to date on Facebook

But wait! There’s more:

Remember, if a 5 believes she’s a 7 (“But I *feel* like a 7!”) she is also going to believe that male 7s are not high enough status for her. Women are not truly happy unless they are dating men 0.5 to 2 sexual market value points higher than themselves.

Five thinks it’s seven. But seven is five. SEVEN IS FIVE!

The reality, of course, is that the male 7 is two full points higher than the female 5. But the Facebook wall has meddled with the primal forces of nature. An unbridgeable chasm brought about by the advance of technology has severed the organically emergent hierarchy of the dating market where there is no escape from soul withering judgments made in mere seconds.

So, as always, the best bet for the modern man is to find some lady in the real world who actually thinks she’s the number she is. Then, simply neg her until she hates herself. That’s how the math is supposed to work.

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ithiliana
13 years ago

Erm, in comment to Flora above, that should be number OR Greek letter system.

Stephanie
Stephanie
13 years ago

@David

Yeah that was the comment I made that didn’t get posted before! I just reposted it without the link and it worked.

Joanna
13 years ago

Nothing like good ole MRA logic. Maybe they should use their math ability for good rather than silliness.

Alphalady
Alphalady
13 years ago

There are plenty of “9″s and “10″s with body dysmorphic syndromes and plenty of self-confident and rocking it “4s.”

That’s what the MRAs don’t get. They can’t believe that a woman could possibly base her sense of self-worth on anything other than youth and beauty. They fall on the floor laughing when anyone tries to point out to them that many women derive their sense of self-worth from attributes other than their physical appearances, and that many men are attracted to women due to attributes other than their dress sizes, size of their boobs or overall “sexiness,” as the MRAs perceive it.

I got thrown off an MRA blog because I dared to suggest that many women over the age of 40 are still attractive to men, and are actually getting laid in record numbers. They immediately resorted to insisting I was fat, ugly and stupid. (Despite that they had no idea what I look like, and a houseplant could discern that I am far from dumb.) It was as if I had threatened to cut off their dicks!

That said, women with high self-esteem are the biggest threat to these guys. That’s because they not so secretly hate themselves.

Lian Li
Lian Li
13 years ago

@Quackers:

also Roissy/Heartiste is a psychopath. So are many of his followers. Its evident in their writings. Lian Li is an aspiring psychopath too it seems. Manipulating people for your own gain continuously is a symptom of psychopathy.

But what do you want to do in this world sometimes? Joseph Fouché lived a good and happy life, was never punished for anything he did, survived the rise and fall of six different regimes (the most honorable and good people like Lavoisier didn’t), betrayed everybody, but at the end of the day, he was the one who prevailed.

@Bee:

Dude, you can’t even articulate ideas you do believe. Set reasonable goals. Less disappointment. More satisfaction.

What do I believe?

Quackers
Quackers
13 years ago

That said, women with high self-esteem are the biggest threat to these guys. That’s because they not so secretly hate themselves.

Yep. And also because they’ll call them out on their bullshit. The manosphere wants women to feel like shit about themselves because they want women to believe they are inferior to men. They want women to believe themselves inferior because they are power-hungry, misogynistic, manipulative assholes.

Roissy literally had a post that said the problem with women today is that they have too much self esteem. Gee I wonder why that’s considered a problem. Because it’s harder to control someone who has a healthy amount of self-confidence and self worth.

cynickal
cynickal
13 years ago

@AlphaLady

I got thrown off an MRA blog because I dared to suggest that many women over the age of 40 are still attractive to men, and are actually getting laid in record numbers.

UNPOSSIBLE!!!
If that was possible there would be some sort of name for those older, sexually active women!

ozymandias42
13 years ago

Lian Li: Congratulations, you have discovered that the world is not fair and that good people are not always rewarded. Tomorrow we will go over how Santa Claus doesn’t exist.

Captain Bathrobe
Captain Bathrobe
13 years ago

@Lian Li,

From Wikipedia,

Fouché was soon moved, in fact dismissed, to the post of French ambassador in Saxony; Talleyrand himself lost his portfolio soon after (he was PM from 9 July to 26 September 1815). In 1816 the royalist authorities found Fouché’s further services useless, and he was proscribed. He died in exile in Trieste in 1820.

I don’t know, that doesn’t really sound like he “prevailed” in the end. Unless by “prevailed” you mean “survived long enough to do away with his enemies then die in disgrace.”

And this:

Fouché, claiming that “Terror, salutary terror, is now the order of the day here….We are causing much impure blood to flow, but it is our duty to do so, it is for humanity’s sake,” called for the execution of 1,905 citizens.[7]

makes him just sound like a bloodthirsty bastard.

And you admire this guy?

Alphalady
Alphalady
13 years ago

If that was possible there would be some sort of name for those older, sexually active women!

LOL! In my case the name is “wife!”

no more mr nice guy
13 years ago

That’s what the MRAs don’t get. They can’t believe that a woman could possibly base her sense of self-worth on anything other than youth and beauty. They fall on the floor laughing when anyone tries to point out to them that many women derive their sense of self-worth from attributes other than their physical appearances, and that many men are attracted to women due to attributes other than their dress sizes, size of their boobs or overall “sexiness,” as the MRAs perceive it.

These guys constantly confuse dating and one-night-stands, and they only want to date shallow women and after that they bitch against them . And that’s why guys like Roissy and Roosh are seen as dating guru for them even though non have a girlfriend.

That said, women with high self-esteem are the biggest threat to these guys. That’s because they not so secretly hate themselves.

Most women that hang out in these blogs have very low self-esteem and they are very jealous of other women.

no more mr nice guy
13 years ago

Oh yuck, I just read that alpharivelino post and my skin is just *crawling*. A giant ego wrapped up in slime and pretentious language thinks his ‘male magnetism’ is overwhelming someone because they talked to him? WTF world do PUAs live in?

He was recently divorced, he said he cheated his wife several time and brought her to sex clubs to see her having sex with other guys. And he was obsessed by 18-19 years old (he was in his mid thirties). He posted pictures and personal info of women he knew in real life and he had to shut down his blog for a few months because he was denounced. He was like a sociopath without social skills, like many guys in the manosphere. And of course all the Roissy fanboys, like Yohami and Roosh, were encouraging him.

Alphalady
Alphalady
13 years ago

Most women that hang out in these blogs have very low self-esteem and they are very jealous of other women.

I assume that you are referring to the women who hang out on the MRA blogs. If so, I agree. The women on those blogs bought into the MRA horseshit, invalidated each other and seemed to feel the need to apologize for their very existence. The women (and men, for that matter) who had the guts to call the MRAs on their bullshit got the rabid attack dog treatment.

Jenn93
Jenn93
13 years ago

Here’s the PUA moment that stuck in my head. I was at a bar in Toronto that I really enjoy for the atmosphere. While I was having my drink I kept noticing from the corner of my eye that this guy was staring at me with a huge smile on his face. I wasn’t in the mood to talk, so I didn’t look at him, and so he started talking to me. Throughout the night he kept asking for my number and to walk me home, and I kept saying politely saying no, and explaining that I’m not interested in the nicest way I could think of.

He wasn’t really malicious, but he was using obvious PUA tactics and was clueless. I was getting really pissed off that he wasn’t taking no for an answer, and he proceeded to ask me again and again. Finally, I decided to use body language to get my message accross (because PUAs look for that) and crossed my arms in front of my chest. He then (I shit you not) said ” You’re body-language isn’t very approachable” and literally took my seat and turned it so that I was facing him. He said “There, that’s better.” with a wide smile, completely oblivious to the “What the ever-loving fuck!!!” expression on my face. So, I turned away and tried to ignore him, by talking to some other regulars I get along with.

At the end of the night, he asked to walk me home and I lost it, and blew up in his face asking him which part of “no” he didn’t get. He seemed very hurt and confused, but I mean really? Come on! I said “no” several times. Did he think he could convince me that I want to date him or sleep with him when I don’t?

Just thinking about that gets my blood boiling.

Bostonian
13 years ago

I hate Facebook. I did use it to declare War on Christmas though.

Joanna
13 years ago

Wow Jenn, that’s …. disturbing. It’s as if these guys went their whole lives without socially interacting with people.

Bee
Bee
13 years ago

What do I believe?

Dude, doesn’t even matter. Either you’re an incredibly hateful imbecile or a deeply stupid asshole. Either way, you should set your sites lower. Baby steps, dear Lian.

Jenn93, I think a lot of PUA techniques are (intentionally or not) basically ways of finding out which women won’t protest when their boundaries are repeatedly violated.

Ah, grooming. How rapey of them.

Bee
Bee
13 years ago

Set your *sights* lower — crap. Do not insult people on less than five hours of sleep.

Zas
Zas
13 years ago

@Stephanie

Ohhh, I think I had a PUA hit on me once. I was at a party and sitting alone on the living room couch. The party was winding down (it was 4 AM) and I was pretty drunk and stoned. This guy walked into the room, grabbed one of my legs and put it over his shoulder and wrapped his hand around my neck. Then he asked me if I was flexible.

My reaction was ‘lol whut’ and I grabbed him by his throat and told him to fuck off. He kinda squeezed my neck and asked me what I would do if he didn’t. I told him I’d call the cops. He backed off immediately and started saying it was a joke.

I’m not sure if he was a PUA or if he was just a douche.

I attract creeps. >.<

Stephanie
Stephanie
13 years ago

@Zas

holy shit. If that happened to me I would have freaked the hell out. That’s a rapist right there.

Monsieur sans Nom
Monsieur sans Nom
13 years ago

As a former math major I must know where irrational and imaginary numbers lie on this scale.

As an actual math major, I can tell you that the irrational numbers are right there between the rational ones(including, most notably, the integers). As for the imaginary numbers, they lie on a completely different number line orthogonal to this scale. 😉

You know, I have an alternative theory to that of ‘Heartiste’ on why cruising on FB is hard: it’s not a fucking dating site. People have this expectation that they will be mainly in contact with a small circle of people they already know, and that interactions with third parties will occur through intersectionality (I wish B happy birthday, and B’s friend ALSO wishes him happy birthday, but I will rarely have interactions with B’s friend unless he’s also in my friend list).
A person who violates this unspoken social contract and contacts an unknown simply because of the Friend-of-a-Friend linkage is unlikely to be welcomed in the first place. It will throw red flags to women because of the sort of entitled attitude one is likely to have in order to do this sort of cold contact. An exception might be made if the two FoFs had some long term contact via their mutual friend’s wall and it was made clear through that interaction that some sort of commonality or connection exists that might be explored… But contact out of the blue is likely very much a red flag.

You can say that again! Myspace was so much better for meeting new people and hooking up. FB is really just for peeps you already know or have known(in the past). Kinda too bad FB hasn’t managed to cultivate that now that myspace will be shutting down in 2012.

Holly Pervocracy
13 years ago

Holy crap, Zas. That’s not PUA, that’s attempted rape.

…It may also be PUA, but who even knows. That’s way further than even they admit to going.

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